Gamer Guild’s Dungeon (2nd Floor)

--- Jon ---

“Fine…” He sighed. “In that case let’s open the armor chest. We’ve already got a couple of potions, and if the weapons can’t be trusted just yet then defense should be our priority.”

“Fair reasoning.” Ying agreed as he made his way to the chest.

The moment he set his hand on the armor chest the other two vanished in a flash of light as a small tune began playing in the background. Opening the chest the tune rose to a crescendo before breaking into fanfare as he pulled out a metal bracelet from the chest.

“So, uh, what exactly is this?” He asked, taking a closer look as he identified the metal as some form of iron.

“Right, uh, let me think… Since you guys don’t have the power up you can’t see the item stats. Normally that’d mean you have to figure out what they do yourself, but since I’m here I can just tell you.” Roxanne explained walking closer to get a better look at the bracelet. “Now in the case of the Iron Bracelet, this item increases your Max HP by a small amount so long as you’re wearing it.”

“Max HP?” He frowned, his mind trying to break down the magic in front of him. “Now how would that work? Does it reduce the amount of damage we take or function as a pseudo shield absorbing damage to a given threshold? And is it based on a percentage derived from our actual health, or an external system that works on its own?”

“Oh, uh… I’m not actually sure?” Roxanne admitted, thinking his questions were for her rather than himself. “It um, it varies a bit but I think it just increases your durability by a flat amount.”

“Hmm…” (It’s something I can look into later.) He decided before turning his attention back to his party. “So which of us should take this?”

“Given my healing factor it’d be somewhat redundant to give it to me.” Ying pointed out before adjusting her mask. “If it's self-adjusting like our masks then it’d probably have the biggest effect for Pix given her… smaller stature.”

“Maybe but she’s also fairly solid at avoiding damage in the first place.” He argued at the fairy’s indignant look towards the Draconian teen, earning a stern nod from Pix for himself.

“What about Wolf then?”

He glanced at his canine companion and received a shake of the head as a response.

“She says she’s good.” He translated easily enough before turning to Roxanne. “You want it?”

Roxanne began reaching for the bracelet before pausing to give him a frown. “I can take it but… I’ve got a few passive durability buffs thanks to the guild, so wouldn’t it be better for you to keep it if you’re the squishiest member of our fighting squad.”

“I’m not particularly worried.” He shrugged, sure that Pix would be able to heal any injuries he earned here.

“If you’re sure.” Roxanne told him, accepting the bracelet with a frown.

“I am.” He nodded, stepping around the chests and making his way towards the stairs. “So what’s the next floor supposed to be?”

“Well, first we have to stop at the End of Floor shop where we can trade any coins and treasures we got for new things.” The gamer teen answered. “After that is a Kobold floor.”

“Kobold?” Ying frowned, following them both into the stone stairwell.

“A fodder enemy in most games.” Roxanne elaborated. “Normally adventurers in games fight them or goblins -which are the third floor- for their first ‘out of village’ mission. They’re before goblins because they’ve got fewer class options and instead primarily rely on traps to whittle down their enemies and running away if they have less than a two to one advantage.”

“Huh, traps can be a problem.” He admitted, knowing full well just how deadly they could become in the right (his) hands.

“Not really, or at least not on this floor.” Roxanne disagreed. “They’re traps aren’t actually all that good and are meant more as a tutorial for future floors. The GM once tried to run them at a higher level as a gimmick and… it didn’t go well.”

“They were still too weak?”

“I wish.” Roxanne laughed. “No, it was more that with the stat boosts and additional classes they’re traps and ambushes became too much for people to handle, especially with the dragon boss.”

“Dragon boss?” Ying’s attention snapped as they stepped into a small room with a man in a trench coat and backpack between a pair of blue torches on the left side of the room, a ladder leading up into a hole filled with light on the right, and another set of stairs on the far side of the room.

“Yeah, the GM likes to use a dragon boss in each dungeon, though only as one of the last few floors.” The gamer teen explained. “And since modern myth says kobolds were connected with dungeons she thought it’d make a good combo. Instead she got final floor difficulty on the fourth floor, with only the guild lieutenants making it past that point.”

“Interesting…” The draconic teen told her in a tone that had him glancing back to see that her pupils were slit. “I don’t suppose you know which floor the dragon is on in this dungeon?”

“Uh, fifth or sixth since I didn’t see it on the fourth floor, and I know the GM likes to do something special on the last floor for holiday dungeons.”

“Very interesting…”

He coughed into his hand to snap Ying out of whatever draconic trance she was entering. “So I’m assuming that’s the merchant and those stairs are to the next floor while the ladder leads to the surface?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Roxanne nodded, not noticing the other girl’s odd behavior. “Oh, and if we move on before talking to the merchant any treasures we have will automatically be turned into coins.”

“Right, so, uh, how does this work?” He asked as they walked over to the merchant.

“Over here stranger.” The Merchant called before opening his coat, causing a large window to flash in front of them with three big icons saying Buy, Sell, and Upgrade.

“Okay, so we can spend our coins on the Buy menu to get new gear or trade our treasures for specialty items. Sell lets us get coins for anything we don’t want, though usually it’ll be at about half of the item’s buying price. And lastly, Upgrade lets us improve any gear we have though it’s usually expensive and the upgrade is based on the current floor level.” Roxanne explained going over everything.

Seeing as they didn’t have anything to sell other than the bracelet he’d just given Roxanne, he clicked the buy button.

“Whaddaya buyin’?” The Merchant asked as a list of items and their prices flashed onto the window.

“We don’t really need potions given how many we found on the last floor, but we’ve got a fair number of these rat skull things…” He thought aloud, prompting the other two teens for their opinions.

“Well we could spend those coins to get another skull, which’ll get us the rat king’s crown.” Roxanne suggested helpfully. “Every minion the wearer kills will spawn one of those smaller rats to fight for them. Which is really useful on the more cannon fodder-y enemies like goblins and kobolds.”

“A solid suggestion, but at the same time we could save a fair number of coins by trading the skulls.” Ying pointed out. “And given how progression is supposed to work, I’m assuming that higher levels will have greater gear, if at a higher price.”

Thinking it over for a moment, he decided to compromise between the two ideas and traded most of the skulls they’d collected for a trio of the cheapest tradable on the menu.

The merchant suddenly swiped his hand through the screen and shattered it before beginning to rummage through his coat.

“What the?” He frowned, realizing several of the items he’d been carrying had vanished.

“Heheheheh, thank you.” The Merchant told him, holding out a set of rings with little rat skulls in place of gems. An item advertised to increase the wearer’s ‘Reflexive stats’ by a small amount.

(At least it was just the dungeon items.) He scowled, accepting the rings as he pushed back the little voice growling in the back of his head at the idea of the thing before him being able to simply take whatever it pleased from his pockets. (Even if it is just a construct, shooting it is probably a bad idea.) (But it might be worth it.)

Shaking his head he turned around and offered a ring to each of the girls.

“Oh, Jon, proposing to two girls at once? How scandalous.” Ying teased, grinning as she accepted the ring.

Rolling his eyes he slipped the last ring on before testing to see if he could feel any difference. (Hmm, nothing extremely noticeable…) He decided, bouncing on his feet ever so slightly. (Though looking around, the shadows do look a little shallow. So maybe the rings consider vision a ‘Reflexive stat’?)

Deciding that whatever bonus the ring gave him wasn’t really all that valuable to him, he instead offered it to Pix, sliding it onto the little fairy’s wrist like a bracelet.

“Really, three girls Jon? You are insatiable.” Ying continued to tease him.

“Well, trying for the harem route is a tradition in most RPGs.” Roxanne pointed out with a smirk. “Though it’ll usually bite you in the end, leaving you all alone.”

Pix made a consolatory trilling sound as she patted his face.

“Glad to know you won’t leave me.” He laughed before turning his attention to Wolf. “Sorry about not getting you anything, but I’m not entirely sure the ring will work for non-humanoids. If the next shop has something better we’ll grab something there okay?”

Wolf gave him a nod as her tail wagged through the air.

“Hmm, Wolf?” Ying called, seemingly in thought. “Would a collar joke be offensive given your canine stature?”

The magical wolf in question seemed to consider it for a moment before tilting her head side to side in a ‘so-so’ kind of way.

“So it’s offensive if it’s an actual pet collar, but if it’s in the context of a regular necklace you don’t care?” He translated, earning a bark of approval from his canine companion. (Hmm, I wonder if Ms. Delacroix sells necklaces in the same way she does rings?)

“Huh, well as cool as that is,” Roxanne clapped. “Is that all we’re getting here or?”

“Yeah, that’ll do it.” He nodded.

“Come back anytime.” The Merchant told them as they started making their way towards the next floor.

“Sure thing.” He smiled at the construct even as he forced down the part of him paranoid about someone being able to steal his stuff without him noticing.

Deciding he needed to distract himself from those meaner thoughts, he asked Roxanne “Is there anything we should be worried about with this next floor? I mean you said there were traps and stuff, right?”

“Yeah, but they really aren’t anything worth worrying about.” Roxanne assured him as they made their way down the stairs. “Honestly, none of the traps are really worth worrying about until you hit the fourth floor. Everything before then is the kind of stuff that tourists could spot unless they’re screwing around.”

“In that case is there anything we should know about this floor?” Ying asked.

“I think I already mentioned this floor’s layout but it's pretty much a five room straight shot towards the boss with two side rooms containing treasure chests.” Roxanne answered, thinking about it for a moment. “Other than that, just watch out for the occasional sneak attack from the kobolds. Even if they are kind of cowardly, every once in a while one of them will get a good shot in while you're distracted with the rest.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Ying nodded as they came to a set of intricate doors.

“So the floor starts after this?” He asked the gamer teen as he got ready to open the doors.

“Yep.” Roxanne grinned. “First room is behind these doors. It’ll just be a quick trap room, so there’s not anything to worry about. Especially since you should be able to spot the trap from a mile away.”

“Got it.” He nodded before -with a grunt of effort- pushing the doors open and finding himself in another large cave chamber only this one (deeply offends me.)

“Uh, you alright Jon?” Roxanne asked, eyeing him cautiously as he continued to stare at the (thing) in front of him.

“What is that?” He asked as calmly as possible through his grit teeth.

“That would uh, that would be the trap.” Roxanne answered (wrongly.)

“That is not a trap.” He told her, refusing to let the poorly concealed trip rope (not wire) connected to a stick and a box be called a trap. “That is a joke. I know kids who can make more impressive traps than that.” Admittedly he’d taught those kids how to make those traps, but his point still stood!

“You know I’m pretty sure that’s why Jill and Andy left me in charge of arts and crafts.” Ying idly commented.

“Miss Edna approved of that project and the kids loved it!” He argued.

“Only because you let them use Rogers as a guinea pig for those traps.” Ying pointed out dryly.

“Nothing of value was damaged.” He defended. “And he only fell for those because he was drunk.”

He’d seen the man dodge corrupted bullets only half-sober, an eight-year-old’s trap should not have caught him off guard. (Unless he walked into it on purpose to get out of work.) That was fully a possibility.

“Either way this is not a trap.” He declared with over a decade’s worth of experience in the art.

“You’re uh, you’re taking this a bit seriously don’t you think?” Roxanne chuckled awkwardly.

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“Look, as far as traps go this thing is an insult.” He tried to explain, accepting that perhaps he was getting a bit heated about this. “I mean what if I did something that completely insulted your, uh, gamer skills…?” He’d known her less than an hour, so he didn’t actually have a valid comparison beyond the fact that Roxanne was a member of the gamer’s guild.

Still the gamer teen seemed amused by the attempt at least as she shook her head with a laugh. “Yeah, I’m sure I’d absolutely hate that.”

He wasn’t sure if that was sarcasm or not.

“As amusing as this diversion is, shall we continue?” Ying asked, already standing by the room exit with Wolf at her side.

“Yeah, sure, whatever.” He sighed before he and Roxanne made their way over.

Or rather Roxanne made her way over and he idly disabled the (insult) with a mid-step kick before making his way to the exit.

“That was surprisingly petty of you.” Ying told him as they started through the tunnel to the next room.

“Whitakers take their traps and pranks very seriously.” He argued, before gesturing to the fairy still sitting on his shoulder. “Just ask Pix. She’s seen some of them.”

The little fairy took on a shell-shocked look before shivering.

“Okay, we’re not that bad.”

Pix gave him a look.

He rolled his eyes. “It only looks that bad because you’re so small compared to us.”

The little fairy crossed her arms and gave him another look as she chirped at him.

“Hey, I warned you about that and you still messed with that trap.” He reminded her.

Pix made an affronted face before repeatedly poking him in his cheek while making a trilling sound.

“Ah-ah-ah, you set that last one and forgot about it.” Though he was responsible for distracting her on that one. (But she’s the one who wanted those strawberry cupcakes!)

The little fairy glared at him and gave him two chirps.

“Hm, love you too.” He smirked, petting between her antennae.

“As much as I don’t want to interrupt this cute… whatever it is, we’re about to come to the first kobold room.” Roxanne warned them.

“Right, anything we need to know about them?” He checked.

“Well there’ll be more of them than us, but they’re cowards so they’ll only fight one of us if there are more of them in the fight.” Roxanne told him. “Also if we end up in a one on one they’ll probably run off and try to join someone else’s fight.”

“So keep an eye out for backstabs.” He nodded as they stepped into the next room where roughly a dozen waist high reptilian humanoid creatures were waiting for them, gathered in a small circle around a campfire in the center of the room.

“Should we attack first or-”

All of the kobolds suddenly rushed towards them in exactly the opposite manner to which Roxanne had previously described.

He drew his knife and took a step forward, ready to stab the nearest kobold through the back of their- “Mistress!” (What.)

His eyes drifted down to where the dozen or so kobolds were currently on the floor bowing to Ying. “Uh, is this supposed to happen?”

“No.” Roxanne frowned, glaring at the various kobolds as if they’d personally wronged her by not doing what she’d been expecting.

Ying blinked as she watched the kobolds continue to bow to her while mumbling something about praising their mistress. “Well this is interesting.”

“Oh, great one you honor us with your presence!” One of the kobolds told Ying. “Tell us what you wish of your humble servants and it shall be done!”

“What.” Roxanne stated more than asked.

“Huh, I’m not going to lie, I was expecting them to be more aggressive than this.” He commented after a moment of watching the kobolds praise Ying. (Glad the GM knows not all monsters are monsters.)

“They’re, they’re not supposed to be acting like this!” Roxanne argued, seeming to think he was complaining about the matter rather than complimenting it.

“Are you sure? Because I’m quite enjoying this.” Ying admitted.

“Yes, I’m quite sure!” Roxanne growled, before seeming to deflate. “This has to be some weird Madness thing. That’s the only thing that makes sense, but what could be causing it?”

Hearing that several possibilities flitted through his mind, including the possibility that this had something to do with the Cheshire’s interest in him. Something he immediately dismissed because if it was involved it’d let him know. (Show off that it is.)

As soon as he dismissed that idea, a second far more plausible scenario came to mind as he remembered Roxanne mentioning something about kobolds worshiping dragons. And while he doubted that was enough to override the constructs programming -something he could be sure of because, Madness- the fact that she was a Madness Corrupted Dragon Incarnate, meant the dual applications of Madness and magic could interact with the dungeon’s Madness on another level. “Huh, that’s convenient.”

“What is?” Roxanne snapped.

“Kobolds worship dragons.” He reminded her.

“And?” Roxanne prodded, drawing Ying’s attention.

“I’m a dragon.” The Draconic teen confessed. “I’m just glad someone appreciates that fact.” She told the kobolds in what was clearly a jab towards him.

“We live to serve you mistress!” The kobolds cheered in unison.

(I wonder if they’d be as impressed with her current state after seeing her actually turn into a Corrupted Dragon?) Knowing she couldn’t do it a second time killed a fair bit of his awe on the matter.

“You’re a…” Roxanne closed her eyes and took a deep breath before letting it out. “No, you know what. This is par for the course with you two. I’m just, I’m just going to roll with it.”

“Are, are you okay?” He couldn’t help but ask with some concern.

“Just fine.” Roxanne told him cheerfully. “So if they’re not going to stop us, why don’t we get the treasure out of this room. Maybe the kobolds guarding it will actually do their jobs and try to stop us!”

(Yeah, she’s not okay…) He grimaced, before following the other teen as she made her way towards a door on the right side of the room. And once more they found a room full of kobolds, only this time gathered around a treasure chest.

Roxanne nodded to the kobolds as they readied their weapons to attack them. “Right, so let’s see if we can’t pick a fight before-”

“Hello there.”

“Mistress!”

“-that happens.” Roxanne growled as she glared at Ying and her circle of kobold worshipers.

He, Wolf, and Pix were left standing awkwardly to the side.

“I’m just, uh, I’m just going to open the chest real quick.” He told the two with a nervous smile.

“That won’t work.” Roxanne sighed. “In order to open the chest you have to-”

“Let me get that for you.” A kobold told him before running over and opening the chest.

“Oh, uh, thanks.” He smiled at the kobold as it pulled out a potion and a handful of coins.

“No problem,” The little kobold assured him as it handed over the chest’s contents. “We all work for the mistress after all!”

“Uh, I don’t really-”

“Come along royal consort.” Ying called as she and her followers started towards the other door of the previous room.

“I’m not… I don’t think that means what you think it does.” He frowned, as he and the rest of their party was forced to follow or fall behind.

“Would you prefer the royal mister?” Ying smirked at him. “Or you could be my kept man if you prefer?”

“You know none of those describe our relationship.” He told her dryly.

“Hmm, you’re not wrong.” Ying admitted, before giving him a look. “How about the head of the royal harem?”

He couldn’t help but sigh. “This is going to be a thing with you isn’t it?”

Ying gave him another smirk before (arrogantly) confidently entered the next room regardless of the dozen or so monsters inside of it along with- “Is that supposed to be a pit trap?” Because the six inch deep holes filled with sand all over the room most definitely were not pit traps.

“Yes, yes, the GM sucks at traps, let's move on.” Roxanne told him, giving him a shove to keep him moving even as Ying took a moment to bask in her growing cult’s praise.

“This really isn’t doing her ego any favors.” He sighed, knowing that he was the one who was going to have to deal with this overinflated ego.

(At least it’s not Pix they’re worshiping.) He didn’t think he could handle that ego.

“Yeah, this floor is a complete bust at this point.” Roxanne agreed in her own way as they continued into the second to last room of the floor.

“I don’t know. I like not having to fight monsters to win.” He admitted, always happy to take the non-violent path.

“Really?” Roxanne asked, giving him a look, which was fair given how good he was at at taking the hyper-violent path.

(Bones cracked under his boot as he stomped the corpse’s skull under foot.)

(He broke the corrupted’s arm, before dislocating its shoulder as he moved it into position to grab the sides of its head and- A snapping sound silenced his thoughts.)

(Stomping a boot between the Fallen One’s shoulders, he proceeded to grab one of its wings with each hand before using his entire body to rip them from its screaming corpse.)

How very good he was at taking the hyper-violent path.

Roxanne seemed to swallow with wide eyes as she watched him crack a sudden crick in his neck. “Right.” She squeaked before shaking her head. “Um, the next room has a treasure in the left room, and the room after this is a boss room.”

“Mistress!” Even more kobolds cheered as Ying walked into the room, leaving him to wonder-

“How big is this cult of hers going to get?”

“Uh, depending on party size this floor has anywhere between twenty to sixty kobolds in total, and given how they’re all reacting…” Roxanne shrugged.

He gave a non-committal hmm, before turning his attention towards the door on the left. “You said there’s a treasure room on that side, right?”

“Uh, yeah.” Roxanne nodded before sighing. “Along with another dozen kobold cultists.”

“Lovely.” He said in a tone similar to the other teen’s, because as much as enjoyed not having to fight he could already tell how much this was going to Ying’s head. And that was of course before taking into account the fact that the fairy on his shoulder was starting to look a little jealous of the draconic teen.

“Don’t worry.” He told Pix as he stroked between her antenna. “Just two more rooms and then we’ll be off of this floor.”

This number quickly became just one as the door to the treasure room was kicked open and a small swarm of kobolds ran out while carrying the treasure chest they were guarding to their new mistress.

“I… I didn’t even know the chests could be taken out of their default rooms.” Roxanne told him listlessly.

“Yeah, that’s uh, I’m not really sure how you were expected to?” He admitted just a touch confused as he made his way towards Ying.

“Right. Right.” Roxanne coughed before turning her attention to Ying as the other girl opened the treasure chest. “So what’d we get out of this one?”

“Some kind of… rope and a box?” Ying frowned. “I have no idea what this is.”

“Oh, that’s a trap.” Roxanne explained. “You drop it down somewhere and it sets up an effect in the given area without us having to do anything else.”

“What kind of effect?” He felt the need to ask as he was pretty sure he could match whatever this could do in half of the time.

“A Madness effect.” Roxanne answered with a look. “This one specifically traps whatever monster walks on it in a box for a whole minute regardless of size.”

“I see…” He could see a value in that. (Actually I wonder if this is what the trap in the first room would’ve done… Then again no one is stupid enough to trigger that piece of garbage.)

“I suppose this just leaves the boss room, doesn’t it?” Ying sighed as if this was tragic news.

“Yeah.” Roxanne nodded, before sighing once more. “Though given how the rest of this floor has gone I don’t think it’s something we have to worry about.”

“What was the boss supposed to be?” He asked as they started towards said boss. “I mean you said at higher levels the kobolds had a dragon boss, but since we’re at a lower level?”

“It’s a kobold that knows fire magic.” Roxanne shrugged. “Not particularly dangerous given the passive protection the dungeon gives most people, but that doesn’t stop the instinctive fear of fire when it starts throwing fireballs at you.”

“Yeah, it takes a while to get over that.” (Even if you’re the one using it to torch corpses.) (Or maybe especially because of that.)

“Uh-huh. Sad part is that it’s also the first monster to have a serious drop instead of miscellaneous junk.” The gamer teen told him.

“What do you mean?”

“Well it drops a ring that lets you throw a number of fireballs based on your character level.” Roxanne explained. “Admittedly the damage is low enough that it quits being useful about half way through the fourth-floor but it’s still a fun toy for the rest of the dungeon.”

“Huh, that could be useful.” He admitted, before shrugging as they came to the boss room door. “Still I doubt it’s worth turning so many kobolds against us at this point.”

“True enough.” The other teen conceded, eyeing the crowd of fifty or so kobolds.

With their destination reached and their conversation done, he set about pushing the boss room door open. An action that revealed a set of stairs leading up to a stone dragon statue where a dozen or so kobolds could be seen worshiping the massive totem.

“Who dares enter the sacred sanctum!” A kobold wearing robes shrieked upon his intrusion.

“Yeah, Ying you handle this.” He told his draconic friend as he stepped out of her way.

“Happily.” The draconic teen smiled as she entered the boss room.

The magic wielding kobold stared at Ying for a moment before rushing down the stairs with a growl, an action quickly mimicked by all of the other kobolds in the room.

As the leader of the small army of kobolds stepped upon the final stair they all leapt into the air before doing a single flip, that left them all slamming into the floor and bowing on their hands and knees as they cried, “Mistress!”

Roxanne watched all of this from beside him before letting out an exhausted sigh. “I’m just going to wait in the floor treasure room.”

“Yeah… It was funny the first couple of times but I’m starting to lose interest even if I appreciate not having to fight.” He agreed following the gamer teen up the stairs, before pausing as they came to the room’s exit. “Ying that’s enough basking, we need to get a move on!”

The robe wearing kobold turned on him with a snarl as a pair of fireballs burst into its hands. “You dare command the great one you infidel!”

He pinched the bridge of his nose before giving the kobold a look. “Do you seriously intend to pick a fight, now of all times?”

The kobold took a step back before shaking its head and gesturing to the crowd of seventy or so kobolds surrounding it. “Do you seriously believe you can take on the great one’s entire army?”

“Yes.”

The kobold blinked at him before shaking its head and growling at him. “But your comrades have already left you behind and the great one is on our side! How long do you think you can last against all of us?!”

He considered it for a moment before shrugging. “Eh, it shouldn't take more than five-ten minutes.”

The kobold blinked again. “What?”

“Going off of the last time I beat Ying, crossed with the amount of time it takes to shatter a construct of the previous floor doubled for the sake of increasing difficulty of basic level design, I figure it’ll take roughly five to ten minutes depending on how much backup Ying actually gives you guys and how effective you guys are as meat shields against her lightning bolts.”

The kobold blinked yet again. “What?”

Feeling like the repeating construct had likely reached the end of its programming, he turned his attention back to Ying. “Hey, I’d honestly like to avoid fighting these guys if I can, so you think we can we get going? I’ve got to wrap this whole thing up in time to make dinner and knowing you, you’re going to want to do as many floors as we can.”

“Well, it was fun while it lasted I suppose.” Ying sighed, as she made her way through the crowd of distraught worshippers.

“W-wait mistress!” The robe wearing kobold called. “Y-you don’t intend to abandon us do you?”

“Truthfully, I’d rather not.” Ying admitted. “But unfortunately I do need to continue to the next level of the dungeon.”

“W-well then… let us follow you!” The boss kobold cried.

Ying paused before turning to the little kobold. “You can do that?”

“Yes!” The kobold nodded rapidly. “Normally we stick to our floor because the rat king offers us tribute and the goblins are dicks, but with you by our side we can conquer their floor and show them which starter monster is truly superior!”

“Huh… You guys uh, you’ve got a grudge there don’t you?” He couldn’t help but point out.

“Like I said the goblins are dicks.” The boss kobold growled.

“Hmm, what do you think Jon?” Ying asked. “Bringing an army to the next floor could prove useful.”

“It could.” He agreed, before sighing as he noticed Ying giving him a hopeful look. “Fine, they can come.”

“Wonderful.” Ying grinned as he turned and made his way to the treasure room where was watching Roxanne glare at the three treasure chests.

“Right, so apparently we can’t actually open these chests as long as the boss monster is alive.” The gamer teen told him with a frustrated growl. “Meaning since we did a pacifist run, we can’t open any of the chests unless we want to go back and… why do you have a small army of kobolds following you?”

“Because they’ve been following us for most of the floor?” He answered with a bit of confusion.

“Yeah, but… even if you left them alive they should’ve stayed in the boss room.” Roxanne explained. “They, uh, they don’t follow people who just rush past them. It’s meant to be a fail safe if people try to escape the boss.”

“Well, our attempt to escape Ying’s cult kind of failed.” He admitted. “They’ve volunteered to help us with the goblin floor.”

Roxanne just looked at him for a moment. “They, they can do that?”

“Apparently.” He shrugged.

Roxanne made a pained face before grumbling something about, “Filthy game breaking hackers, modding the system and corrupting the code.”

“So what exactly is the problem?” Ying asked after it became apparent that Roxanne was going to quietly rant for as long as they allowed her to.

“We can’t open the treasure chests as long as the boss monster lives.” He explained reiterating the gamer teen’s observation.

“If you require me to die for your riches all you need do is ask mistress!” Said boss monster declared pulling a knife out.

“Aren’t you guys supposed to be cowards?” Roxanne scowled.

“To die for the great one is to die for glory!” The kobold argued, holding the knife to its throat.

“Yeah, that’s like the opposite of your personality.” The gamer teen nodded.

Running a hand down his face as Roxanne continued to bicker with the kobold he turned his attention to Ying. “This is your cult and army so what’ll it be?”