An Intermission with Madness (and a guest.)

--- Jon ---

He jolted forward, phantom pain aching across his entire body as he gasped for air before letting his head thud against the table in front of him.

(It’s over… The Beast is dead again, and I don’t have to worry about it ever again.)

(“Mm, I wouldn’t count on that completely.”)

He froze.

(“Don’t get me wrong the odds of you running into it again are low, like really low, but they still exist.”)

Lifted his head up just enough to glare at The Man In The Mask sitting across from him while stirring a cup of something caffeinated.

(“Tea today. Though back on subject, most of those encounters are with more cheap copies like that one you just killed rather than a centuries old dark god like the one you put down for me a couple of months ago.”)

“Am I dead or in a coma?” He asked, resigned to dealing with whatever this was.

(“Well, if you were dead you’d be seeing my beloved, not me.”) The entity informed him. (“As for the coma…”)

---

A bright, soothingly familiar, pink light blurred in front of his face before fidgeting all around.

“Shi… not loo-in-ood!” A voice yelled fading in out.

But he barely registered these through the burning sensation eating at his entire body.

---

“What was that?!” He gasped, skin feeling like it’d doused in hot water.

(“That would be you fading in and out of consciousness.”) The man in the mask told him, sipping its tea with one hand before rolling the other through the air as it explained that, (“It’s what’s letting us talk, if with poor reception, since dreams are essentially raw Madness.”)

“Then… Then why not wait until I’m actually asleep?” He wondered just a little shaky as he ran a hand down his face, trying not to think too hard about whatever that was and what it meant. “That’s… that’s what you usually do.”

(“Hmm… Well, you’ve a busy few days ahead of you so I figured we might as well have this chat while you’re still hyped up now rather than wasting time later.”) The mad entity answered before tilting its head. (“You do know all work and no play makes jack dull, dull boy.”)

“I’m not one of your Jacks.” He snapped.

(“No, you’re not.”) The man in the mask admitted after a moment. (“But that just makes you all the more interesting.”) The entity added with a smile to its voice.

---

The world spun, his stomach lurched, and his heart tried to escape his chest as everything was filled with a too hot chill.

“Fu…e’s seiz…!” A voice cried as the darkness grew stronger, until finally the world stilled.

---

He couldn’t help but lurch as his entire body spasmed.

(“Oh, well that’s a thing.”) The man in the mask commented.

“What is?” He hissed, glaring at the mad entity.

“The fact that you’re kind of dead at the moment.” A beautiful pale lady informed him, taking a cup off of the table.

He swallowed. “I’m what?”

“Dead. Happens when you push your body so hard it breaks.” The pale lady explained, taking a sip of her cup before giving the man in the mask a half-hearted glare. “Real act of Madness that.”

(“Quite.”) The mad entity agreed in amusement, as panic began to grip him. (“Don’t be like that, it’s not like you’re going to stay dead.”)

“I’m not?” He asked.

“Well, technically they’ve got oh… seven minutes before I start keeping bits of him.” The pale lady warned, wrapping a lock of her long midnight black hair around her finger. “And you do so love your technicalities.”

(“I do.”) The man in the mask nodded before rolling a hand in the air. (“But I kind of owe him a solid for beating that (false) beast for me. I mean, it’d’ve been such a pain if that thing took over a Wonderland, so I’m just going nudge things a bit with that one girl’s healing as a thank you of sorts, since he and I have this whole eldritch bounty hunter thing going on.”)

A deal he distinctly remembered ending after killing the Beast the first time.

(“Uh-huh, and yet here I find you working on your vacation.”) The mad entity pointed out.

Instead of commenting on their tangent, the pale lady gave the man in the mask a look, before eventually rolling her eyes. “Fine, I mean it’s not like this is the first time he’s died.”

His head snapped to the pale lady. “It’s not?”

“Yeah, you sapients really started screwing me over once you discovered how to resuscitate each other.” The pale lady shrugged. “I mean there are some humans that die like twenty times over their life, and you guys just keep bringing them back.”

(“Oh, and then there are those quasi-immortal guys who die over and over, and just keep getting back up.”) The man in the mask reminded the woman he was quickly realizing had a familiar relationship with the entity.

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The pale lady gave a pouting huff. “They’re just playing hard to get. Sometimes you’ve got to give people their space if you want them to come to you. And well, they all come to me in the end.”

(“Fair enough.”) The man in the mask shrugged, before seemingly realizing something. (“Oh, you know… Jon might actually be able to help you with that.”)

“Don’t volunteer me for anything.” He scowled at the mad god.

The pale lady turned her attention to him with a look of interest. “This isn’t one of your Jacks or Alices… So what exactly is your game here?

(“Ooh, my game plan is… this.”) The mad entity told them, dropping a long sheet of lines on the table between them.

A quick glance was all he needed to recognize his friends names, as well as several of their skills, and a number of what looked to be, “Levels? Wait, are you treating my life like an actual game?!” He glared at the mad man, somehow not entirely surprised despite his outrage.

(“Well of course you wouldn’t be, you’re part of the game, and I was quite upfront with all of this from the get go.”) The man in the mask reminded him.

“The game between you and yourself.” He pointed out.

(“What can I say? Me, myself, and I tend to disagree on how things should be done.”) The mad god smiled, before Jon felt ten thousand eyes staring at him as hundreds of masks became visible in the darkness surrounding them. (“It gets even worse when the rest of me gets involved in the argument. So many masks, so many perspectives, so little time to be apart of them all.”)

“Hence why he asks humans to settle things for his indecisive ass.” The pale lady added, looking over his character sheet before letting out a whistle. “Severe Psionic Scarring, and you’ve only been involved for a few months? It’s a miracle your brain hasn’t bled out yet.”

(“I’ve been working on his neuroplasticity for a while, and thanks to his mother’s training he already had a fair bit of it before he started working for me.”)

“I don’t work for you.” He cut in, more upset by the entity mentioning his ma than his actual complaint.

(“Truth be told, between the two of us his brain is reaching a level of flexibility that you don’t really see in the average human.”) The man in the mask continued as if he’d said nothing.

“Oh!” The pale lady’s eyes widened. “That’s your game plan.”

“What is?” He asked, hoping the newcomer would be more straightforward than the mad entity he was used to dealing with.

(“Ah, ah, spoilers!”) The man in the mask interrupted before the pale lady could answer. (“We’ve yet to reach the part of the game where we start seeing the consequences of all of that. In fact that hasn’t even come into play yet.”)

“Of course it hasn’t.” The pale lady agreed, despite shaking her head with a small smile. “I think your game would be much different if that was the case.”

(And she’s just as bad as it.) He couldn’t help but groan to himself.

A chill ran down his spine as if someone had walked over his grave, and he found his eyes drifting to meet the silver smiling eyes of the (definitely not human) pale lady. “You know what I think I do have a… favor you can help me out with.”

He swallowed. “Wha- what kind of favor?”

The pale lady tapped a finger against a line on his… character sheet. “This says you’re a… Guardian of Childhood, yes?”

“I, um…” He glanced at the more familiar entity for an explanation, because while he would protect a kid he didn’t think he was a ‘Guardian of Childhood’.

The man in the mask made an amused scoffing sound. (“You were a regular kid who picked a fight with an eldritch horror to protect a bunch of kids from a summer camp. You earned that Guardian of Childhood all on your own.”)

“I guess?” He shrugged just a little bashfully.

“Ah, that’s so cute of you.” The pale lady squealed, before turning to the man in the mask. “Are you sure he’s not one of your Jacks, because I really want to set him up with one of mine.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

(“Eh, he’s honorary.”) The man in the mask shrugged, before taking the pale lady’s hand in its. (“But don’t let that stop you, after all we both know how much you love everyone and everything.”)

“Flirt.” The pale lady giggled, swatting the man in the mask and breaking Jon’s mind with a single word. “Still, getting back on topic…”

Silver eyes once more focused on him. “There’s a creature that eats the souls of children, I want him dead.”

“So do I.” He agreed, before coughing into his hand as he realized his instinctive response.

“Oh, I definitely like you.” The pale lady purred, rubbing a hand against his cheek.

He couldn’t help but swallow at that.

(“Ah, ah, we agreed to let him live.”) The man in the mask reminded the pale lady, while swatting away her hand.

“I know.” The pale lady smiled with a roll of her eyes. “And I think I will be sending one of mine his way.”

(“Good to know, I’ll write them up a character sheet for later and you can join me for game night.”) The man in the mask nodded. (“And if you’re talking about the thing I think you are, then he’s set to go against it eventually.”)

“He is?” The pale lady blinked.

(“Well, I mean it’s already in his city, so it’s his call whether he fights it or not.”) The man in the mask shrugged. (“But if he continues the way he has been he’ll cross paths with it before the end of the year. Unless knowing about it he takes a hard left somewhere.”)

Both the pale lady and the man in the mask turned to him.

He tried to slow down and think about it, but… he honestly couldn’t think of any situation where he wouldn’t involve himself in this, because, “If this thing is hurting children, I’m not going to let it continue.”

“Wonderful.” The pale lady smiled at him, before leaning back in her seat. “Still I try to be fair, and I really don’t like the idea of leaving a solid unpaid. So regardless of whether or not you’d have done it on your own, if you kill this thing… I’ll owe you one.” The pale lady told him, finishing with a wink.

(“You’ll also get your usual perk point payment, from me.”) The man in the mask added.

“My what?” He frowned.

(“Don’t worry about it.”) The mad entity waved off, looking at a watch that hadn’t previously been on its wrist. (“Oh, look at the time, we’re cutting your limit so close!”)

“My limit?”

(“Yep, any longer and you’ll start taking brain damage. And I have put way too much effort into suping that baby up.”) The man in the mask explained before snapping its fingers. (“Oh, almost forgot I still haven’t paid you for taking care of that (false) beast for me, have I?”)

“You sure doing that won’t send him to me earlier?” The pale lady asked.

(“Ah, he’ll be fine.”) The man in the mask dismissed, before putting a hand on Jon’s shoulder and another in front of his face. (“Well, just so long as he doesn’t blink anyway. If he does that’ll be another brain aneurysm I have to fix. I won’t be giving you any anesthetics this time.”)

He grabbed the man in the mask’s arm, really not liking where this was going. “Look we really don’t have to do this!”

The man in the mask rolled its eyes. (“Don’t be a baby, Jon. After all, I’ve hurt you so much worse than this before.”)

“That does absolutely nothing to reassure m-” The mad god’s hand went through his head.