Several hours later, Yesida held me as I sobbed, not from any pain—the doctor had seen to that—but from the knowledge that my guards still would have had to search me even after I’d collapsed. My whole body tensed at the thought of the violation, of some man’s hand groping along my breasts and thighs as I laid dead on the carpet. Yesida still hadn’t pried an explanation from me, and I was grateful for that. But I’d have to tell him something, and soon.
“Are you feeling any better?” he asked.
“A little.”
He pulled back to look me in the eye. “Eujia, please tell me what happened. My imagination is going wild trying to think of why a pair of guards would cause you to die so suddenly. What did they do?”
“They followed orders,” I admitted. “The Council doesn’t just check for me at night. They search my room every day. Search me. It’s supposed to be done by a servant woman, but she was sick today.”
“So your guards did it instead?” He gave me a confused scowl. “I will speak with the Council. But I still don’t understand why—”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Did someone hurt you? I’m emperor now, I can—”
“No,” I snapped. “You can’t.”
“The Council, then. They did something.”
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My tears started all over again. “Please, just drop it.”
“They strongly suggested that I marry you, Eujia. Did they threaten you?”
He just wasn’t going to let it go. “They have my family,” I whispered.
He swore. “I will not force you to marry me over blackmail.”
“No, please!” I gripped his hand. “I— Don’t speak with the Council. Please, pretend I didn’t say anything. I have to do as they say.” Gods, I’d stooped to begging him to marry me.
“It’s that bad? Gods damn it, I wasn’t thinking last night. But we’ll fix this. We’ll find your family, and I… I’ll marry you.”
“You shouldn’t have to. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. We’ll just start over with a clean slate.” He kissed my forehead. “I’ll bring you some dinner.”
About ten minutes later, he returned with a tray of food and a glass of water, but I asked to be alone. Once he’d gone, I stared at the food for a few seconds. I couldn’t stand the thought of eating right now, and the scent alone made me want to gag. I tossed it into the restroom trash basket, a waste that pained me, and shut the door to lock the smell inside. I downed the water in seconds, though.
No one came to visit me for the rest of the evening, and that was just as well. I spotted myself in the wardrobe mirror at one point. My hair was a tangled mess, and I had dark bags under my dull, reddened eyes. Death had never been kind to me, but this was something else. This time, I looked like I hadn’t fully made it back.
Maybe I hadn’t. Maybe a part of me had truly died.
My tablet dinged, making me jump. Who could possibly be messaging me?
I opened the message—from Nesia of all people—and an image filled the screen. An ornately decorated engagement announcement issued by the Council. Had they even waited for Yesida’s confirmation before they sent that out?
A note beneath the image read, “You’d better treat him right.”
I didn’t bother to respond.
Instead, I changed into a nightgown, crawled back into bed, and imagined setting that feral loose to rip out all the Councilors’ throats.