I stood in the front row at the announcement ceremony beside one of the imperial candidates who hadn’t been selected. It was no secret among the candidates who had been chosen as the next emperor, so it wouldn’t be a surprise to any of them. I wondered why they were all expected to attend anyway, but I supposed being present at the historic event was meant to be an honor of its own.

I’d felt a sense of clueless wonder as a little girl at Lenan’s ceremony, but this time all I felt was dread.

Did Yesida hate me? Would he make my life a living hell? Did I stand any chance of influencing his decisions? He’d certainly done an excellent job of ignoring my presence so far as he stood near the other side of the sanctuary, staring straight ahead during the priest’s speech.

He wouldn’t be able to ignore me once the speech was over. The priest gestured for me to step forward, and I took my place beside him to lead a hymn.

Yesida had never heard me sing. I tried to swallow my self-consciousness and clasped my hands in front of me. This was a service like any other. Thousands and thousands of people knew my voice. What was one more? I looked out above the crowd at the far wall and allowed my eyes to lose focus. Just go through the motions.

I took a deep breath and began the song, my voice ringing out clear and serene over the crowd, and each phrase was echoed by the attendees. Many watched me in awe, a few even weeping. But I kept my eyes locked on the wall.

Only once the hymn ended did I risk a glance at Yesida. He was even more handsome than usual in a fine black and gold suit, but he stared through me with glazed eyes. I hurried back to my place in the front row.

The time finally came for the priest to announce the next emperor, and he called Yesida forward. A murmur spread through the crowd. Never before had a man not of noble blood been chosen as emperor. It was likely another ploy by the Council, to show the empire that anyone, even the poorest little boy, could climb their way to greatness. In other words, if you weren’t lucky or insanely talented enough to make it, your poverty was no one’s fault but your own.

I forced myself not to clench my jaw. Did Yesida buy into that belief? We’d never gotten into discussions on politics. He paid his factory workers well, but beyond that I knew nothing of where he stood.

Yesida kneeled at the priest’s feet to receive the crown, then turned to face us as the priest announced him as emperor.

He finally met my eyes, but his were guarded and gave nothing away.

***

I stood with my guards along the wall of the ballroom as the ceremony’s attendees mingled throughout the room to calm, lilting music, not the kind to dance to. Yesida sat in the raised throne at the far end, receiving greetings and well wishes from the guests. I should have been among them, but I hadn’t worked up the courage to face him.

The music shifted to a livelier beat, and I watched as the partygoers shuffled around to clear the floor for those who wished to dance.

“May I?”

I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Gasni’s voice. He’d snuck up beside me, and he raised an eyebrow as he offered his arm.

“I suppose,” I said as I looped my arm with his. My guards stayed along the wall, but the other dancers still gave us more than enough room.

Gasni held me at a respectful distance at first, but slowly inched closer until he could speak and only I would hear. “I noticed you have yet to greet the emperor.”

“I doubt he wants to hear from me at a time like this.”

“Really? Because from my point of view, he looks downright envious.”

I glanced Yesida’s way as we turned, and sure enough, his eyes followed me even as he spoke with one of his guests.

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“Invite him to dance,” Gasni said, then he released me and disappeared among the crowd before the song had even finished.

I wove through the dancers back to the wall. If I invited Yesida to dance, he wouldn’t be able to say no, or he’d likely start some unwanted rumors. I didn’t want to force his hand. I looked back to the throne, but it was vacant. I scanned the room for him. He danced with another woman, who eyed him lustfully, not bothering to hide it.

A wave of envy crashed through me, catching me off guard. I had no right to feel that way. I hadn’t loved him. I’d enjoyed his company, in some ways more than others, but my feelings for him ended at a mild fondness. So why, when he caught me watching him, did I look away so quickly? It had to be nothing more than lust.

The song ended, followed immediately by the next, and dancers swapped partners or stepped away. A man approached me, and I looked up into Yesida’s dark eyes. His expression was still guarded, but he offered his hand. “May I have this dance, Chosen?”

I couldn’t say no to him, either, or the rumors would spread about me. Resisting a frown, I took his hand, and he guided me out to the center of the room. He didn’t bother starting with a respectful distance, instead holding me close from the start. I stared at the collar of his jacket rather than look him in the eyes.

“You look lovely, Eujia,” he said.

“Thank you.”

“Are you well?”

To lie or not? “As can be.”

“I heard your family left.”

I winced. “They did.”

“I’m sorry.”

I didn’t want to stay on that subject, or I’d begin sobbing in the middle of the celebration. “I didn’t think you were interested in becoming emperor. I thought you were happy with your work.”

“I was.”

“Oh.”

We danced in painful silence for half of a song.

“My sister will keep things running,” he finally said. “And I’ll check in now and then. The business will be fine without me.”

Yet as I glanced up, his eyes gazed through me again. The factory was his creation, the achievement that made him a household name and gave him so many opportunities. To abandon it and hand control over to someone else, even his sister, must have been excruciating.

“How is Nesia?” I asked.

“A bit overwhelmed with everything, but she’ll get used to it. I’m certain she’ll do a better job of running the business side than I ever did.”

I didn’t doubt that. The woman had a knack for numbers, and Yesida had funded her education, too. Not that he’d been terrible with numbers himself, but he’d made a few mistakes that Nesia and I had teamed up to scold him for.

I missed her. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about her, but it struck me like a brick that I’d lost her at the same moment I’d lost Yesida. I missed them both. And I missed my family.

“Walk with me,” he said and pulled me away from the dance floor as the room blurred. Gods, I was crying at a party, after all.

“Chosen, are you all right?” someone asked.

“Didn’t you hear?” another whispered. “Her family left.”

Several figures took formation around us as Yesida led me out of the ballroom and down the hallway. I didn’t know where he was taking me, but I walked arm in arm with him up flights of stairs and through a set of doors. He gave a command for the guards to stay behind, and a breeze teased my hair.

I rubbed at my eyes to clear my vision. We stood on the highest balcony overlooking the city. The sun was setting, deepening the reds and blues of the clay walls and patterned tapestries along the lantern-lit main roads. The factory quarter in the distance simply glowed with crystal-powered lights. The poorer areas, though, grew dark as if the shadows were drawn to them.

“I always wondered what this view was like,” Yesida said.

“What do you think of it?”

He thought for a moment. “I’m not sure. It feels strange, like I don’t belong here. Does that ever change?”

“It hasn’t for me.” I hoped I would never feel like I belonged in this place.

He studied my face. “Why hasn’t it?”

Where to even start? “It’s complicated.”

“Things are often simpler than we let on.”

“It’s better to keep it to myself.”

“Eujia.” He tucked a few blustering strands of hair behind my ear. “Tell me.”

If he wanted to know that badly, fine. Why not be honest again? A brazen courage overtook me, and I let the words tumble out. “I hate it here. I hate the Councilors. I hate the castle. I hate everyone bowing to me, worshipping me. I hated Lenan, every time he looked at me or touched me, every fucking thing he stood for. I hate being locked in here. I hate that they took my family from me. I hate this godsdamned view that everyone pretends is so beautiful. Look at it!” I thrust my arm toward the slums. “Truly look at it! Do you see where we came from? Do you see what they ignore? It’s two-thirds of the entire fucking city. How can they look out there and pretend not to see it? How can they—”

Yesida pulled me to face him, worry in his eyes. “Eujia, calm. Calm.” He smoothed back more strands of my hair that had blown loose. My breathing was out of control, and my chest ached. I’d gone too far.

I slapped my hands over my face. “I said too much. I’m sorry.”

He pried my hands away, taking them in his. “Don’t apologize. I see it. I do.”

“Please don’t tell anyone. Please.”

“I won’t.” He kissed my forehead, and I stood numbly as I allowed him to pull me in close to his chest. He stroked my hair, and I focused on his steady heartbeat to calm myself.

I was beginning to like this, being honest. Even if it might be the death of me.