"Drop in 3...2...1... Realspace Translation successful..."

The navigation officer speaks loudly to the rest of the bridge as the exterior cameras of the ship come online. The big screen at the front of the bridge acts like a window into the endless black dotted with stars. Every station onboard looks through all the sensory data they can, visual, radar, lidar, and any other system. They are in a nearly empty section of space at the moment. A few sensors detect gravitational displacements in the local region of space consistent with a stellar body and a few rocky planets.

The more specific broadband sensor technician reports the three rocky planets, none of them larger than Mars, and also reports the intensity of the star. A rather young and pale white one that is fairly stable making this region relatively low in radiation. Still enough to cook an unshielded person, but compared to a place like Earth's home system, nothing.

A communications officer searches through all frequencies and all known communication methods for any noise consistent with civilization, looking for a stray transmission of any kind. The only thing picked up is the standard radio and other waves produced by a star and small rocky planets. The officer reports their find with a solemn voice,

"No transmissions found. Another blank system."

The old captain rubs his chin where an angular beard sits perfectly groomed. He looks around the bridge with a frown and states in a deep voice,

"How unfortunate. I commend you all for your patience on this journey we are undertaking. Commander, what number will this system be?"

I nod and look at my console before replying curtly,

"This is number two hundred and fifty-two, sir."

The old man frowns. It has been over a year since we began our mission. Our mission is known as Operation ET, a grand-scale operation dedicated toward the discovery of fellow intelligent life. Hundreds of ships, old retired warships, sent out in all directions looking for any sign of intelligent life. Non-earth life has been well documented for almost four centuries now, just nothing that could be considered intelligent, and very little more advanced than mollusks. It just loses its charm after so long, and convergent evolution appears to be very common so rarely are there any interesting lifeforms. 

The only goal anyone has even completed during this operation has been the survey of new star systems. Every time we enter one it is scanned, cataloged, and filed. We simply give the information and it's up to an AI or some scientists to decide what the system can be used for. We are far enough out at the moment that it will be decades before this system we currently are in is colonized.  Unfortunately, our main goal has yet to be fulfilled.

We are simply the latest ship to go this far, but this operation has gone on for over two decades. I then speak to the captain,

"Sir, if I may. 

I think we should approach the planets and get a closer look. We can't scan for life this far out. Martian-sized doesn't mean any life. There could be tribals."

I look over the sensor data from my first mate's console and notice some small anomalies near the planets. No radio signatures or any thermal readings from this far out so they are probably asteroids which tend to be common in new star systems. What catches my eye is the movement, they seemingly change direction randomly, but in over two hundred systems I have in fact seen stranger things.

The captain nods while giving me a grandfatherly smile and says to the pilot,

"Bring us near the closest one. The commander makes a good point. We are far enough out and I don't want to waste time. Increase to a constant of 1 C."

There is a distant humming as the stars on the screen lengthen as the space around our ship shortens for a moment, a "tunnel" of higher energy space forming around us as space accelerates to a base energy of 1C meaning any movement we make is over the speed of light without actually achieving the feat as physical matter. The pilot thrusts forward barely, just a nudge and we zip through space at impossible speeds, but to us, we only feel the barely perceptible nudge of the engines. The pilot and navigation officer speak for a moment before the pilot states,

"Ten minutes out."

The captain nods before sitting back down in his chair. He takes a swig of his New Kentucky bourbon hidden within a flask under his command console. He offers me some and I barely sip it as I feel the burn and shake my head while scrunching my face. I hate the taste of bourbon, but that shit is over 100 dollars a bottle, so I won't turn down expensive booze.

The captain is a great man who I respect above all else. After working up the ranks after naval academy and my little stint as the commander of a patrol craft I was granted my commander rank and role as first mate or officer on this ship underneath the Captain. The role is practically grooming me to replace the aging man once he retires or dies. I asked him once and he has stated that is any day now because he is over 200 years old thanks to modern medicine, but that can only go so far.

We sit in silence going through data on our consoles, leaving notes on data points for one another to read and understand or explain. I open a drawer on my desk taking a snack cake out of it. Before I start chowing down on my treat the Captain holds out his hand for the dad tax. I sigh and rip it in half to the best of my ability. He takes his choice half and eats the chocolate cake happily. Our relationship while professional, is also very familial. We are not related in any way but in my three years of service under him, we have developed a grandfather-grandson relationship. It's nice compared to my time under a garrison admiral.

I look through the FTL sensor systems and notice some more anomalies and say to the Captain.

"Sir, I am picking up something in our way. I recommend halting our jump about a light second away from the planet. I don't want to hit something this far out at the speed of light."

He nods and relays my recommendation to the pilot and navigator. It really doesn't change our time to destination. With my concerns spoken, I lean back and close my eyes for a second preparing myself for disappointment.

"Ten seconds."

The pilot announces and I open my eyes back up, forward, and ready for another dead planet... maybe there will be some cool plants or rock formations...

The stars return to their normal pinpricks in the black canvas of space with a green and blue marble floating there in the center of the view screen. I am for a second amused to see it is a habitable planet, but then the anomalies on my screen are worse than ever before, they changed direction again, aiming for us. I announce before the sensor tech can,

"We have contacts, bearing 50, elevation 30, 90, and 356. Multiple objects on an intercept course."

The Captain then orders,

"All stations on high alert. Do not act aggressively unless we are fired upon. Do not let your guard down either, I prefer us over them whoever they are."

The sensor tech gets a bead on the largest of the objects and the hull-mounted cameras locate and zoom in on the object. In that moment, without a doubt, it is a ship.

I am no engineer, nor am I a designer in any capacity, but this ship looks stupid. I would argue it is far more similar to a modern art piece consisting of three oblong shapes connected on long braces to a central rounded almost whale-like structure. There are what appear to be weapons lining the vessel, but I can't be certain, the ship is so poorly constructed, not to mention a bright pink paint job making it stick out even in space. Nothing about it tells me it's role unless it's a strange party vessel.

I check out the others and find more strangely shaped ships, various rounded shapes from big jellyfish-looking ones to somewhat sleek or artistic-looking ones. Overall they do not seem very... threatening, except the big one is close to a fucking kilometer long and almost as tall. This means they are at least monument builders if nothing else, meaning a fairly advanced construction capability.

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What bothers me is the propulsion of these strange craft. It produces little heat and no exhaust gasses. This removes combustion, fusion, or compressed gas propulsion from being possibilities. I do take note of the radiation trail left behind, it's odd in a way I can't explain. It's not acting how radiation should, but the radiation sensors display it as radiation, but can't say if it's gamma, or what type of particle it is.

The ship eventually slows, impossibly so because no retro thrust was detected. I don't like this. We send a very direct tight band communication in binary, trinary, and morse. No matter how it is translated it should be the normal "we come in peace" type shit. The communications officer scrolls through every frequency and every communication type, and all of our antennas and dishes face the new ship, listening with interest. Nothing happens. It floats in the void in front of us. There is a sudden uptick in radiation which appears to be coming from the ship. Both sides sit there for a moment and I ask,

"Do you think we can tune our radio dish or radar to read that radiation, like a radio telescope?"

The communications officer does what he can in tandem with the sensor officer. The bridge is filled with an almost melodic sound, it's all static like random solar radiation, but it has a clear melody to it, but the melody isn't the message, it simply is the state of the waves the radiation exists in. The communication officer alongside sensors and the ship's computer systems try to calibrate our systems to this strange radiation. There is a momentary "pop" and some odd sounds at one setting, then we stop on that and have the computer clean it up. To everyone's surprise, it's what sounds like a voice, a very angry-sounding and harsh voice,

"AHSHAPA JULLIO REAPRETA HURNDA KIEE!"

The voice shouts before waiting a second and saying the same thing again, almost in the same tone. It takes a moment before the communications officer states,

"Sir, the radiation... uhh beam or transmission appears to bounce information both ways. We don't need to send our own signal, it's like they hooked onto us with a cable or like a string between two cans."

The Captain nods and his mic is opened. He says calmly,

"Hello. We are humanity, we come in peace. We greet you as friends and galactic neighbors."

The air is silent for a moment before the being on the other end makes a sound that I assume is their version of a drawn-out, 

"Oh"

Like they just realized something. The voice is much calmer now and we can hear it speaking to another something in the room with it before the signal they sent is shut off. We wait for an hour, flashing lights and trying to get more communication out of them. Then something breaks off of the other ship and it takes a few seconds for us to realize it's a shuttle. It flies out and stops halfway between us and them. It's easy to see they wish for a parlay in a neutral territory. The Captain looks to me and says,

"You're up Commander. "

I stand up and salute the Captain who returns the gesture and says,

"Good luck. Don't go in like you're flirting, I can only see ya strike out so many times."

The whole bridge laughs as I smile and leave. I have this task because of my special qualifications. I am not a diplomat or any form of politician, my qualification is not just as a naval officer, but my position as a Joint Command Officer, meaning I trained and qualified for multiple branches of the military, giving me the ability to command anyone under my rank regardless of branch. The main aspect though is that I am infantry combat-trained, so I am better at operating on the ground.

I enter the Marine section of the ship where our complement of twenty marines sit around doing marine shit like eating glue and crayons. I grab my two favorites, both named Martinez but they aren't related. One a man and one a woman. I gotta represent our two main forms.

I suit up into an EVA suit as the Marines get into their EVA combat armor. My suit is a slim-fitting affair made out of inch-thick ballistic fiber and radiation shielding. The helmet is still a big fishbowl with clear glass so my face can be seen. It's navy blue and has my rank insignia on the shoulders alongside New Glory, the newest American flag. Thirteen red and white stripes, and the blue, shifted into the middle as a circle depicting all the continents of earth made out of stars, minus Europe and parts of Asia.

I board the shuttle the captain ordered to be ready for us and I take my seat with the two big marines sitting across from me. The hangar is evacuated and all the air is removed before the big doors open and the shuttle is launched out of the ship. There is a jarring falling sensation when the ship leaves the gravity of the vessel. I shoot the shit with the Martinez pair on our short flight to the alien shuttle, the male Martinez bullying me about how I will freeze if the aliens look like smoking hot babes. I laugh to hide my nervousness. The first contact is all on me today...

There is another issue for a moment as both ships try to dock with one another but it appears we both have different ideas on what a docking port looks like. Eventually, both sides figure out a solution where a walkway is created in between both ships utilizing one of our umbilical docking modules, and some strange tech of theirs I don't understand, but the radiation detector in my helmet goes batshit when they use their tech, but my suit blocks it.

I stand in front of the door with the Marines flanking me. Their armor makes them an inch or two taller than me, and much bulkier. The door slides open once the walkway is pressurized and has gravity, I step out of the ship and into the walkway floating in the void. I note the other side with our alien friends sits higher than ours meaning their gravity is lower than ours. Looking at the door of the alien vessel I can see that they are probably tall with a huge three-and-a-half meter tall door. The walkway can accommodate it though so it's not a problem, hopefully.

Their door swings open on large hinges and immediately I am hit with a powerful surge of that same strange radiation. It's not very penetrative so my suit can hold, but if it works anything like gamma I would melt if not for the suit. Lucky for the pilots the shuttle door closed behind us automatically. Then in strides the aliens.

Three completely different species, at once... how fucking cool. It is odd though, they aren't in EVA suits or any protective garb unless you count the armor the two, what I assume are guards, are wearing. The center and lead one, a towering three-meter tall bird creature, similar in looks to a secretary bird but with blue feathers, is wearing what I can best describe as a ballgown.

We stand across from one another for a while simply staring at one another. Never in my life have I felt so short, I'm 6'4, and that's never been a problem, all of these aliens are at least half a meter taller than me though. I'm guessing the bird...lady...maybe... in front of me is thinking something similar in the opposite direction. I don't question their radiation resistance considering their ship is full of it.

I smile at the bird lady with a closed-mouth smile and she sorta nods toward me. We remain silent, unsure how to proceed with communication. The bird then reaches out a hand... wing... toward me. Without thinking I grasp the end gently and shake up and down. The two guards stare at me with what I can tell are horrified expressions as the bird quickly retracts the limb and quickly begins wiping it with a cloth. I feel bad and quietly apologize over my external speakers even if they can't understand. The bird speaks to the guards for a moment before they step forward hesitantly. One of them reaches forward with their palm upright saying something to me. I hesitantly reach out my hand and place it on top of it. Maybe this is their handshake?

It grips my hand in an iron grip. I notice the bird walk back into the ship they came from which is odd. Then in a sudden flash, the other guard draws a fancy-looking sword and I have all of one second to rationalize that fact. My eyes go wide as the sword glows for a second and in a brilliant flash of movement it comes down. I try to pull away, taking the one holding me off of his feet as his grip doesn't release, but my strength being far greater than his weight it seems, but I was too slow and I fall backward as all pressure is released when my hand is removed at the wrist, he had been aiming for my elbow area.

I hit the ground as my shock blocks the pain for a second then my nub starts smoking. I howl in pain as my flesh is burning on my body, I remember now, the radiation... my suit was breached... I feel my skin blister and boil underneath my suit, muscle, bone, and fat all melting and bubbling from the utterly extreme levels of radiation. The guards watch the nub boil in horror, somehow upset despite them doing the damage it seems. Lady Martines grabs me by my collar as I can no longer stand and she starts dragging me. The two guards soon find out what being trapped in close quarters with a pissed-off marine is like. Male Martinez doesn't shoot trying to avoid a rapid depressurization event, so he punches the one who cut my hand. 

The marine EVA suits are not power armor, but the punch somehow liquified the skull of the reptilian guard. Through the tears in my eyes, I watch the head explode in gore as the one who held my hand, a different type of bird thing stares in horror, saying something in panic. Man Martinez grabs him and accidentally crushes his forearms when he grabs them, leaving him defenseless. Martinez then drags him into our ship as I slowly lose consciousness from the agony...

The console turns off. The replay of what my neurological implants captured during first contact ending.  The naval intelligence officer across from me finished taking his notes. He gives me a polite smile and says cheerily,

"Thank you, I understand that memory might still hurt a little. Thankfully no one else got hurt and we have worked hard to get over that initial hiccup with the Eternal Kingdom as you know. It's been five years so it's mostly forgotten. I just wanted to go over this again because of a current... political issue we are having with them, and it may have been a similar cultural misunderstanding..."

I state flatly,

"It's the bird lady."

He doesn't respond but nods instead confirming my assumption. That bird bitch is the one causing a stink. I sigh, lean back in my chair, and flick my metal fingers in the air making a satisfying scraping sound. The officer then says,

"Oh, congratulations on your recent promotion."

I nod in thanks and he then asks,

"Alright, please state your name and rank for the record, ya know how senators get with needing the name of who was a witness."

I nod and answer,

"I am Commodore Barnabas Hollander, United States Joint Military Marshall Corps."