The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and my period had ended last night. It was my day off, and I had full access to Cleimer’s study. There were a lot of books I hadn’t read yet, and it was the perfect day to grab one and find my way to the town square.
It was going to be a great day, I could just feel it.
But, of course, the universe was listening and loved proving me wrong. Bitch.
I’d done the customary window shopping, actually shopping, even tossed a few coins into the fountain, and was all settled down at one of the various cafés with a cup of tea and a snack.
Then, he appeared.
I buried my face further in my book. He probably wasn’t looking for me anyway.
He spotted me and immediately headed my way. I twitched. No, no, this was a popular café, that was probably it.
Just in case, though…
I closed my book and tossed few coins onto the table. Shoving the remaining biscuits into my mouth, I quickly got up and walked away.
Running away? No, no, this was a tactical retreat.
“Joan!”
I pretended to be deaf and started walking faster.
“Hey, Joan!”
Even faster.
“Jo-an!”
How fast can one go without it looking like you’re running away, even if that’s what you’re doing?
I was about go ‘Fuck it’ and just start flat out sprinting, when one of Heouie’s stooges stepped out in front of me. I turned around and came face to face with Heouie.
“Good day, Joan,” Heouie smugly greeted me. “I hope you haven’t forgotten about our challenge of wits.”
Goddamnit.
----------------------------------------
Later, at the Dancing Lizapier…
The cards on the table were the Nine of Diamonds and the Nine, Queen, and Jack of Spades.
The dealer dealt the final card: The Ace of Spades.
The final betting round commenced. When it ended, only three players remained.
Sipdun revealed his chosen hole cards.
The Queen of Clubs and Nine of Hearts.
Stolen novel; please report.
“Full house.”
Next, Heouie revealed his.
The Eight and Ten of Spades.
“Straight flush.”
Together, they, along with everyone else at the table, turned to look at me expectantly. Heouie looked triumphant, already thinking he had won. I kept my expression placid as I selected two cards from my hand and revealed them to the table.
A Ten and a King, both of Spades.
“Royal flush.”
The tavern, previously hushed by the weirdly intense game of poker we were playing, exploded into noise.
Heouie gaped at the proof of my superiority. I broke out into a shit-eating grin.
Challenge me to a game of what’s essentially Omaha poker? You’d be better off trying to find a fucking grain of sugar in a fucking salt factory.
“I-impossible!” he spluttered.
“The proof is right before your eyes.”
“You’ve gotten a royal flush the last two hands as well!”
“What can I say? I’m just that fuckin’ good.”
“You must be cheating!”
I leaned back from the accusing finger he pointed in my face and crossed my arms. I pressed a hand to my heart in mock hurt and replied with “Me, cheat? You wound me, truly,” which wasn’t a denial.
As he spluttered in outrage, I glanced outside and realised with a start just how long I’d been playing for.
“Oh, shit, it’s gettin’ pretty fuckin’ late. I should really get goin’.”
I took the chance to quietly slip the cards I’d hidden away back into the deck when everybody looked outside as well. When they looked back, I’d already begun to sweep up my winnings.
I paused. After a quick perusal of all the coins, I spoke.
“Several people here look like they’re contemplatin’ homicide,” which caused more than a few to look away sheepishly, “so I’ll only take the gold coins and leave all the rest.”
Pretty much all the gold coins had come from Heouie anyway, so I didn’t feel too bad about taking them. Served him right for destroying what would have otherwise been a perfect day.
“Heouie, yaint got nothin’ left, so I reckon I’ve beaten you at your own shitty challenge. Don’t bother me for at least two fuckin’ weeks. Everyone else, I bid you g’night.”’
I quickly left the tavern and wandered off in a random direction.
The cool night air brushed over my face. I pressed a hand to my racing heart and breathed it in deeply. I hadn’t gotten this excited in a long time. There was nothing quite like pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes. There were several times I’d almost gotten caught, but that only made it more exciting.
I wanted to do it again.
No! Bad Joan. Gambling is bad. Baaaaad. You only did this well because nobody was expecting it. You will get caught someday, and then where will you be? Stick to magic card tricks.
I slapped myself and came back to my senses.
I’d been taught how to cheat at poker by a friend’s older sister. I’d been sleeping over at her house with a bunch of others and playing an honest game of poker when she came in and just started teaching us how to cheat. I’d already been pretty good at sleight of hand and was one of her best students. Not the best though. One of my friends wasn’t quite as skilled with her hands but had a better memory.
We liked to play games where someone was assigned as cheater and someone else had to figure out who it was, like a mix of wink murder and poker, and also games where everyone was cheating and you tried to call out others and not get called out.
I wonder if I’ll ever be able to play with them again.
…
Well, that was enough reminiscing. I was here now, and probably wouldn’t ever get to go back unless I wanted to get myself mixed up in all sorts of undesirable matters.
Miraculously, I was able to get back to the shop before the sky darkened completely.
“I’m home!” I called, unlocking and opening the back door.
“Pardon?” Arswen replied, looking at me with confusion. He’d been reading one of his late father’s texts on the sofa.
I blinked and realised I’d said it in Cantonese, the way I would have upon reaching home in the other world.
Huh.
Maybe I really was starting to think of this place as home.
I grinned at Arswen. “Whoops, sorry. Wrong language. I’m home.”
“Oh, okay. Welcome home.”
My grin grew wider. Arswen gave me a suspicious look.
“Why’re you grinning?”
When I only grinned even wider, he turned back to his book with a shake of his head.
“Weirdo.”
“Haha.”