I slumped against the closed door. Then I realised something. I slapped both hands onto my face.
“Aaagh...”
Why am I such an idiot! I could have made a [Deal] or something to keep his mouth shut, which would have been a lot more effective! But noooo! For some reason, I thought I was good enough to scare him into silence! Why. Am. I. Such. A. Fucking. Dumbaaaaaaassss!!!
I seriously felt like slamming my head against the floor until I was sent ten minutes back in time to redo that whole scene. Unfortunately, while there were a lot of things possible in this world that hadn’t been possible in mine, time travel was not one of them. Oh sure, you could stop, change the pace of, and even reverse time in a small bubble of space with a few headache inducing and mana intensive spells, but true time travel was impossible.
That was a good thing, otherwise the long dead Demon King could have just reversed time every time his plans were foiled by the equally long dead Hero Party. Every single book I’d read on the Demon King’s Reign of Terror (capitalised every single time, no exceptions) had agreed that the biggest factor in his rise to power was his overwhelming talent in the magic arts. It’s rumoured that his
Fun fact: There are two categories of ‘Demons’ in this world. One encompasses all the monsters that had been under the command of the Demon King. The other is the type that Arswen was hoping to summon, the mythical chaotic neutral genie type.
That was part of the reason why he thought it would be a good idea to try his hand at summoning a demon by the way. Since the deal-making demons weren’t confirmed evil, he thought it would be ‘safe’. The common sense, or lack thereof, of ten-year-olds will never fail to astound me.
Uuugghh. I slid my hands down my face roughly. I was so pissed at myself. I could’ve vent- ahem, made Heouie see the error of his ways, kept his and his cronies’ mouths shut, and levelled up [Deal] all at the same time! Three birds with one stone! And what did I do with figurative stone? I left it lying there on the metaphorical pathway, only to trip over it later and realise what an idiot I’d been. Missing opportunities didn’t feel good.
I gave in and banged my head against the door. The black fluffball (which really needed a name) squeaked and shuffled over.
“Joan?” Arswen, the cheeky brat, poked me in the side. I swatted his hand away.
“I’m fine,” I said, grunting slightly as I heaved myself off the floor and into a standing position. “Just thinking on all the ways that could’ve gone better is all.”
“You did great.”
I blinked at the surprising vehemence Arsral said the last word with. Well, I had just (at least temporarily) gotten rid of the guy who’d been harassing him for some time now.
I shrugged. “I guess. Still, could have done better.”
My eyes flicked over to where Icoupewk was hiding. I walked over to look behind the counter.
The freckled boy, whose hair was actually quite a pleasant shade of green – which I could see now that I wasn’t so annoyed at him – had fainted. I half-expected to see foam around his mouth.
During which part of my little show had he fainted? Well, whatever. It just meant I was free to tell my frustrations at missing out on the chance to level up [Deal] to Arswen and Arsral freely.
Due to the fact that summoning a demon was technically illegal, we had to avoid drawing too much attention to the fact that I didn’t belong here, lest someone investigated for some reason and somehow discover what Arswen had done. That, and the fact that it would just be a huge pain in the ass if someone important found out what I could do. I mean, imagine having someone with what was basically an unlimited supply of mana as an asset. You could conquer kingdoms and build your own empire with power like that.
Huh. I could conquer kingdoms and build my own empire.
Good thing I had the ambition of a particularly spoiled housecat and a pessimistic view on positions of power. Too much effort and unwanted responsibility.
Arswen facepalmed and Arsral looked like he had no idea what to do with me when I expressed my dissatisfaction with how I’d handled things.
“Really? You’re upset about that, of all things?” Arswen deadpanned.
“It’s a matter of efficiency!” I told him. “That would have taken the least amount of effort to achieve results perhaps greater than what has actually been achieved. You’re ten, you wouldn’t understand the pressing need to get the most out of what little time you have left on this earth!”
“You’re only six years older than me!”
“Oh!” I dramatically pressed the back of my hand to my forehead. “What a cruel reminder of my own mortality! Six less years to spend, six less years to live!”
I flopped myself onto the boy, much to his annoyance and futile attempts to shove me off. Arsral rolled his eyes, but I could see a hint of an amused smirk on his face. He also looked a lot less worried about Heouie coming back again. That was good.
“Alright, alright, that’s enough fooling around,” he said. “Joan, get off Wen.”
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
“There’s no such thing as enough fooling around,” I mumbled, even as I did as he said. Arswen scowled and whacked me on the arm. “Ow.”
“Wen.”
Arswen blinked innocently back at his older brother. Brat.
“Alright, so that’s one problem solved for now,” Arsral said, rolling his eyes again. “Here’s hoping that your performance actually managed to scare that guy away for good, but I wouldn’t count on it. If he does come again though, you might get your second chance.”
He nodded at me.
“Ico seems to have fainted,” said Arswen. Arsral wheeled around to check and sighed.
“He always was particularly high strung. A peculiar quality for a butcher’s son, but it’s never actually affected his work, aside from the talking to customers part, which is covered by the rest of his family anyway,” he commented.
I stared. That nervous wreck worked in a meat shop?
“Joan, do you think you can carry him?”
“Um...” I squeezed past Arsral(‘s wheelchair) and crouched down next to the unconscious boy. Sliding one arm under his legs and another under his shoulders, I lifted him up with a slight grunt. He was lighter than I expected. His head rested on my shoulder. I hoped he didn’t drool. “As long as he doesn’t live too far away, I think I’ll be able to carry him back.”
Arsral dabbed a few drops of a health potion on my nose before sending me off with Arswen. The bruises faded away like they’d never been there. When I asked him if it was really okay to use the store’s merchandise like that, he replied that he was taking it out of my pay and tucked the rest of the vial into my pocket. The black fluffball decided to tag along with us. I’d checked its status before, and it didn’t seem to have a name.
“I think I’ll name you Kuro,” I said on the way. “What do you think, Kuro?”
Kuro squeaked several times in what I took to be approval.
“What? Oh, that thing.” Arswen glanced at the newly dubbed Kuro and reached up to pet it. Kuro obligingly hopped down to a more reachable height on Icoupewk’s knees. The four of us got a few looks as we walked among the evening crowd. I guess it wasn’t every day you got see a creature as adorable as Kuro. Or maybe it was the unconscious boy in my arms. “Why?"
I figured there was no harm in telling him. It wasn’t like he or anyone else in this world could judge me for being a weeb.
“Kuro means black in another language,” I explained. “It’s short and simple, perfect for a thing as cute as it- him? Her? Do you have a gender, Kuro?”
Kuro tilted its whole body to the side as if to say, Gender? What’s that? Can you eat it?, then squeaked in alarm as it almost fell off Icoupewk’s knees. Since this seemed to be a fantasy world and Kuro was clearly no ordinary animal, I’d automatically assumed Kuro understood what we were saying, but...
“Do you even understand what I’m saying?” I asked it.
Kuro cooed at me, and suddenly it didn’t matter. It was too cute! If I hadn’t been holding Icoupewk, I would’ve immediately buried my face in its fur again and rolled around on the ground making an embarrassment of myself. I got a little misty-eyed at its cuteness.
This was by far the best thing that had happened to me today- no, this year- no, ever! Yeah, that sounded about right.
Oh Kuro! Light of my life, apple of my eye! Your fur is softer than a kitten’s dream, and blacker than a moonless night! Barely an hour I have known you, yet my heart is entirely your fluffy grasp! Escape would be impossible, had I even the will!
During my admittedly very bad attempts to wax poetic about Kuro, Icoupewk woke up.
“You’re up,” I noted. Were unconscious people supposed to wake up this easily? Ah, but it’s not like he’d hit his head or anything. “Feeling okay?”
He blinked blearily at me a few times before finally recognising me. He panicked and almost fell out of my arms.
“J-j-joan?! W-w-wha-?!”
“Please stop squirming, or you’ll fall. You fainted, so we’re taking you home.”
“O-oh.” He peeked at me shyly from beneath his bangs. Tea, I thought, looking at the colour. “Y-you can put me down n-now.”
“No.” I enjoyed his startled and slightly fearful look for a moment before gesturing to Kuro, who had fallen sleep, with my chin. “Kuro’s fallen asleep, see, and it’s so cute there I can’t bear to move it.”
“O-oh.” He was silent after that, and I would’ve told him to stop being so stiff if I hadn’t known it would have the opposite effect.
Arswen announced we’d arrived a few minutes later and knocked on the door. The sign hanging above it was similar to Cleimeph’s. I wondered if they got the same person to paint them. While Cleimeph’s sign had a pair of red and blue potions lying next to helmet and in front of a sword, Bloremks & Sons just had a large cut of ham crossed with a cleaver beneath the name.
With it being evening, the shop had already closed, but someone answered the door within a few seconds. A young man with hair the same colour as Icoupewk’s pulled the door open roughly and his eyes immediately zeroed in on the boy in my arms.
“Ico!”
He snatched him from my arms and glared at me. Kuro hopped back onto my shoulder.
“Who the hell are you?” he demanded. I held my hands up placatingly and opened my mouth to explain when Icoupewk tugged on his brother’s (I mean, he had the same green hair, green eyes, and dark skin and wasn’t old enough to be ‘Bloremks’, so) sleeve.
“Kay, it’s fine. He’s the guy that’s recently started working at Cleimeph.” Though his voice was quiet, he spoke without the stutter I’d come to expect of him and he was a lot more relaxed. I was surprised at how fast he’d defended me though.
“That’s who Arsral employed?” He gave me a critical once-over. “His hair and eyes really are black.”
I gave him my most disarming smile and lowered my hands. “Yes, they are. Hello, I’m Joan, and yes, I’m currently working at Cleimeph. You must be Icoupewk’s brother.”
‘Kay’ narrowed his eyes at me a moment longer before looking away with a ‘hmph’.
“Elrenkay. Oh, Arswen, you’re here too?” he said, finally noticing the scowling red-head. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.”
“Don’t blame you, he’s a very sho- oof.”
Arswen filled them in on this afternoon’s events as I rubbed my side. I didn’t miss the reappraising look Elrenkay gave me when told of my part in driving Heouie away. I chipped in when Arswen was pretty much finished with story.
“So I picked your brother up and carried him all the way here. He woke up on the way, which was surprising, because I thought sleeping beauties could only be woken up with a kiss.”
Too late, I realised I’d miscalculated.
“YOU WHAT.”
“Did I say that out loud? Sorry, it’s just, have I mentioned that I think both you and your brother are very attractive people? I am very appreciative of good looks, so you’ll have to forgive any inappropriate thoughts that slip out of my mouth.”
Have I ever mentioned how much I wish I could just sew my own fucking mouth shut?
“INAPPROPRIATE THOUGHTS.”
Icopewk’s whole face was dark red and Elrenkay was quickly heading the same way, but for different reasons. I turned a ‘please save me’ gaze on Arswen, who wore the face of a person watching a particularly brutal car crash at a busy intersection in slow motion. He sighed but thankfully didn’t leave me to dig an even bigger hole for myself.
“Ico, thanks for warning us about that man. Kay, maybe you and Ral can catch up sometime. Anyway, we still have things to do back at the store, so we’ll be leaving now. Goodbye.”
“Bye.”
Arswen grabbed my arm and we hastily ran walked away from the fuming Elrenkay.
“I never knew you were such a shameless flirt!” he hissed.
“I’m not!” I wailed quietly. “I was just trying to improve their first impressions of me and overcompensated!”
“Joan. You’re an idiot!”
“I know!”