Chapter 2 - Qen

Qen awoke to a dull pain in his right shoulder. It was a familiar ache, the same one that greeted him every morning for years now - a constant memory of the arm he lost so long ago. He lay still for a moment. The sun was just beginning to rise, and Shemay was still beside him, the chest of his beloved rising and falling with slow, even breaths.

He didn’t want to wake her. The fact that she could sleep so easily now was an achievement that had taken years. She had been so traumatized before that she rarely slept at all, and when she did, she woke suddenly covered in cold sweat, unable to relax. Even after he’d received his new position at the Great House and they’d been able to move into the marginal dwelling that was their home, it still took years before she could rest through the night.

He carefully stepped out of bed and stood. He stretched, reaching towards the ceiling with his left arm, letting the blood rush through his body and awakening his muscles to the day ahead. He looked around, observing the room in the dim morning light.

Menes was gone. That was a bit unusual. The kid hated waking up early but Qen wasn’t worried. Menes didn’t have anything worth stealing, and he generally knew how to avoid trouble. Plus, most people wouldn’t mess with kids besides other kids. He noticed Seshe had splayed herself across the entire mattress and smiled. He could imagine how she’d slowly pushed Menes out of bed during the night. Probably why he was awake so early.

Then he took in the rest of the room. Cracked stone walls, dusty everything, thin, beaten mattresses and tarp which served as their roof. As his gaze lingered on the cracked walls and tattered tarp, he felt a mild pang in his chest - another pain he’d grown used to over the years. It was a constant reminder of all his family deserved, that he could not give them.

He snuck out of the bedroom and made his way to the bathroom. His morning routine was always the same. He washed his face before filling the wooden barrel in their bathroom from the sink. As it filled he grabbed his grooming kit from inside the cabinet. Inside was a razor, several scented soaps, and a few perfumes. He had purchased only the soap for himself; the rest were gifts.

When the tub was full he stripped down and stepped into the cold water, goosebumps rising on his skin. He sat for half a minute, allowing his body to adapt, before dunking his head under. Then he quickly got out and grabbed two soaps - one for his body and one for his hair, and lathered his body and hair before lowering himself back into the water.

Once he was fully rinsed he took a moment to be still with the water. He let his breathing slow, and reached within himself. He felt it there, the Essence, lingering. He pulled on it, letting it flow through him and to the surface of his skin. It still moved well - he was proud of that. He recalled the thousands of hours he’d spent practicing. Meditation, exercises, study, obsessively trying to improve, trying to master its flow.

The water will rise around me

He crystallized the image in his mind, letting the Essence flow into the image as it danced along his skin.

I will push my Essence into the water, and it will rise.

He could envision it clearly. He saw the water rising from the tub and floating into the air. Holding the image in place, he gently moved his finger along the surface of the water from underneath, drawing a small spell circle. It was finely crafted, with runes that would help the Essence know its purpose - to meld with the water and rise.

In his heyday he wouldn’t have bothered. He could have easily brute forced the spell, but now, as he was, he needed all the help he could get. Finally, when the image was crystal clear in his mind and the circle was complete, he was ready. He pushed his Essence through his hand and into the circle, willing the water to rise.

The spell took. He could feel it, he’d done everything correctly, and he knew it would. The Essence was pulled from him, and the surface of the water started to slowly raise above the lip of the tub. He controlled it, willing the water to stay in the air, not allowing it to fall over the edges.

He held it firm. For a few seconds it was solid. Then, from somewhere deep within, he felt a painful twinge, and his concentration was broken. The Essence slipped away, his control with it. The spell failed, and water splashed down over the edges of the tub.

It wasn’t a terrible result. For years he couldn’t draw on his Essence at all - he’d been essentially crippled. This result represented massive progress but - it was slow. Painfully, horribly slow. In his youth, he could have sustained that spell for hours and barely even noticed it. He had been strong then. But now? Even with the progress he’d been making, within another decade… he’d perhaps be nearly as strong as he was as an apprentice.

He grimaced. It was a good result. He should be pleased. He pulled himself out of the tub and dried himself off. Moving to the mirror, he meticulously shaved his facial hair, keeping a short, well-trimmed beard. He trimmed his eyebrows as well, then he applied a spritz of perfume - just a touch, enough to be noticed, but not enough to be overpowering. The nobles really cared about that - you could look like them, talk like them, and act like them, but if your scent was wrong, they’d know it, and judge you for it.

Finally, he got dressed. His attire was simple, loose harem pants and a vest. He checked over his appearance in the mirror. He looked good, besides the missing arm. His jawline was sharp, his skin smooth. He was in his early-thirties, and he looked like it, but It was good enough.

When he emerged from the bathroom he heard Shemay in the kitchen preparing breakfast for the children. Seshe was still sleeping, so he slipped into the kitchen behind his wife. There was barely enough space for both of them, his hips brushing hers as he stepped in behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Menes has gone somewhere,” Shemay said. “Did you see him this morning?”

She was re-heating the leftover cabbage soup from the previous night. Qen winced inwardly. Why couldn’t he provide them with proper meals?

“I didn’t. He was gone by the time I left. I think Seshe kicked him out of bed this morning.”

He felt Shemay smile.

“I saw her this morning, all sprawled out. She looked comfortable.”

“Did you sleep well?” He asked.

“Yes. I slept wonderfully.”

“Good! Me too.”

“Will you be having breakfast with us this morning?”

Shemay always asked, but he always had the same answer.

“No, I’ll eat when I get there.” He said.

Qen never ate breakfast at home. The Great House had food, and plenty of it. He only ate his dinner at home with his family, and even then took small portions. There was barely enough for Shemay and the children, if they had to support him as well, they’d starve more than they already were.

“Okay my love. Have a nice day.” Shemay turned around and kissed him. He returned her kiss, then separated himself and went to the bedroom, where he retrieved his bag. There wasn’t much in there - a pass that granted him access to the upper district. Another pass that granted him access to the building where he worked. A few paper bills in case he needed to make some kind of emergency purchase. His identification papers.

He stepped out into the street and made his way towards the Great House.

The Great House was situated in the northernmost district of the city. Sefet was divided into roughly 7 sections. The eastern district was the mining district, where laborers and slaves worked to extract stones and ores from the tunnels that ran into the Akhet mountains. Just south of the mining district was manufacturing - here stones were carved into blocks, ores were smelted into alloy, and Sugarstalk and other crops that were harvested from farmland around the Everspring were processed into sugar and paper. The entire southwestern quadrant of Sefet was dedicated to merchants, with vendors constantly competing for space to sell their wares. This district also included temporary housing, like inns and hotels.

North of the market district was the largest section of the middle-class living district. In truth, the middle-class spread all the way from the northwestern edge of Sefet to the northeastern end, effectively insulating the upper-class district from the mining, manufacturing, and low-class districts, but they were most heavily concentrated in the northwest. The low-class district, where Qen and his family lived, occupied the southern district of the city, and spread north up to just a little south of the city center.

Finally, the northernmost district was reserved for the noble families - the upper-class. It was also in the northern district that the massive metal Khaem sat, and it was where he was heading now. Each district was divided by stone walls and gates. Most of these remained open 24-hours unless there was an emergency, and didn’t require any special pass to enter. However, guards would request the identification papers of those trying to enter the middle-class district if they didn’t look like they belonged there, and if the listed address was from a low-class district, they would give you a hard time if you didn’t have a good reason for crossing. Entering the upper-class district always required a pass.

The walk from Qen’s home to the Great House took a little under an hour. While he walked, Qen liked to take in the city around him. The sun had yet to crest above the Akhet mountains, so while the sky was lighter, the city was still bathed in shade. All around the laborers from his district were preparing for the day. Miners carried their picks and masks eastward. Their thin limbs seemed too skinny to carry their heavy tools, yet they dutifully headed off to greet another day of hard labor in dark, dusty tunnels.

Farmers went westward, towards the Everspring, lugging their plows and bags of seeds and fertilizer. Builders joined Qen heading vaguely north, as most new construction projects were in higher-class districts. Children also started emerging from their homes. Most of the children in this district couldn’t attend school. Instead, they joined their parents if they were old enough and capable enough, to assist them and learn their trade. If they weren’t old enough they were carrying buckets, clothes, or whatever else was needed to perform chores around whatever crumbling stone hovel that they called home.

In Qen’s area, most people had at least something to live in. A family member with a laboring job could usually afford accommodations similar to Qen’s home, though often without amenities like a stove or toilet. That is, as long as they weren’t slaves. Slaves lived in shared accommodations and had no personal belongings or property. Qen and Shemay had been slaves once in Sefet, before he’d been able to get his current position at the Great House and made a citizen.

The slaves were easy to spot. Many were missing limbs, dressed in rags, and displayed hollowed cheeks and skeletal frames, limping their way to serve whatever function their owners needed that day. They were treated as property, and had no rights. Their feeding and accommodations depended on their owners, and some cared little for how long a slave remained in their service, working them until their death without much care for their lifespan.

After around 30 minutes, Qen arrived at the first gate. The large stone barrier featured a raised iron gate, with two guards on either side. People were filtering through, the vast majority traveling the same path as Qen - heading north into the more affluent districts. For the most part, the guards didn’t bother anyone. Occasionally they pulled someone to the side and ask them their business and request to see their papers, if they were a citizen, or their slave ID if they weren’t. Qen made it through unmolested and entered the middle-class district.

It was here that Sefet stopped looking like a slum and began to look like a proper city. Children carrying bags walked along paved stone paths towards their schools. There were buildings here, proper ones with multiple floors, stairs, decorations, small altars to the Ostracon, and even potted plants. People wore proper clothing that wasn’t falling apart, and they wore a variety of colors. Many of the colors people chose to wear were affiliated with whatever noble family they worked beneath - red for the Sekhem family, known for raising soldiers and overseeing the military. Green for the Shesep family, in charge of farming and agriculture. Blue for the Djahy family, charged with overseeing trade and procuring goods. Orange for the Heka family who employed builders and architects, and led the city’s expansion efforts. Purple for the Rekh family, who dealt in artifacts and the arcane. And finally gold, for the Sobe family, which oversaw finances and taxes,as well as justice and law. When the Nomarch wanted to institute a new rule or regulation, it was the Sobe family that saw it written into the Book of Laws, and ensured those who broke it were punished accordingly.

“Morning, Qen,” called a familiar voice from the shaded veranda of one of the nearby homes.

It was Userk - a sculptor with a friendly demeanor, and an easy smile who Qen had met while he was sculpting inscriptions on a pillar in the Great House.

“Heading to the Nomarch’s eh? If you see any stonework that needs doing, send the nobles my way, alright?”

Qen gave a small smile and nodded.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Userk,” Qen said, without breaking stride. He doubted the nobles cared who carved their stonework, but it cost him nothing to be polite. If he could win Userk some work he’d be owed a favor in return.

Qen made his way quickly through this district, and it wasn’t long before the great gate separating the middle district from the noble district appeared before him.

This gate was larger than the previous. With tall stone pillars inscribed with Essence runes and twice as many guards. To the casual observer it would simply look like it was artfully designed, but for those trained in Essence manipulation, defensive wards and scrying wards were discernible. The guards stationed at this gate checking passes were not the real validation process - those who had clearance to enter would be scanned as they passed through the gate to validate their pass was legitimate. This wouldn’t prevent someone with a stolen pass from getting through however, so the guards did serve the purpose of noticing if anyone was acting suspiciously, and arresting those that the gate deemed unworthy.

There was a line to pass, as there was every day, with both middle-class, low-class and slaves making their way into the district. Qen found a spot and moved with the crowd. As he approached the gate, he fell beneath the shadow of the carving atop its apex. The great head of the mother of the Desert, Khet Hafu, the Sand Dragon. This was the symbol of the Nomarch - a legendary desert beast that didn’t even fear the Sentinels. Great gaping maw carved from smoothed stone with eyes of amethyst and inlaid with massive fangs of the purest steel, the beast overlooked all who entered the Nomarch’s district. Qen imagined it likely had some runes carved into it as well, but couldn’t see them - they were likely hidden somewhere, perhaps in the interior of the bust.

When it was Qen’s turn through the gate, one of the guards stopped him.

“Off to your daily duties again eh Qen?” the guard said with a smile, “I must say I envy your position.”

“Perhaps we can trade then.” He responded without expression.

“Hahaha I don’t think they’d have me. Good luck!”

Qen nodded slightly, and passed into the noble district. The road was smooth stone, and the buildings were large and imposing, each trying to outdo the last. There were no buildings in this district which weren’t affiliated with one of the noble families. Distant relatives of the nobles lived farther from the district’s center, and had comparatively ‘smaller’ houses, though even the smallest dwelling in this district was twice the size of the nicest in the middle-class district. Each house had a statue beside the door of their families’ representative creature and they had hanging fabrics along their walls with the color of their family affiliation.The further he walked towards the Great House, the larger and more impressive the mansions became.

The people here looked different from the others in Sefet. They walked with straight backs, their skin was not as tanned, and their cheeks were full and round. Most of the work in this district was planning, coordinating, and governing, which did not require much time in the sun.

Finally, Qen arrived at the massive plaza at the foot of the Great House. The plaza was 2000 feet square of sculpted tiles. Each tile was first carved, then melted metal was poured into the engraved patterns and hardened to form shapes and letters. If he examined them closely he could see runes forged with this technique inlaid into the tiles as well. He wasn’t sure what these runes did, but whatever it was it would certainly deter any invaders from stepping foot on them.

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In the center of the plaza was another wall. This one was smaller in height, but Qen thought it was probably the second best defense in the entire city, after the wall around the Nomarch’s house. Inlaid heavily with obvious runes and guarded around the clock, this chest-high stone wall surrounded the Khaem. The metal structure loomed over everything here. Around 10 stories tall and 1000 feet long this ancient ruin was where Sefet was originally founded. It jutted out over the ground in ways that Qen didn’t fully understand - it looked like it should topple over - but what he did know, was that to this day teams hand-picked by the Nomarch himself would enter the ruin, and they would return with artifacts and metals.

In the beginning, Qen knew that many teams like this had been lost to the dangers inside the ruin, but after decades it was quite rare for a team to return with any injuries. He figured most of the danger must have been cleared out by now. He wished to see inside - he’d seen other ruins before, in his other life before he’d been made a slave, but hadn’t been inside of one. He never dared to face a Sentinel in combat, even when he was in his prime.

Around the plaza were the mansions where the head of each house lived and worked - the primary governance buildings in Sefet, besides the Great House itself. Restaurants and shops of the finest quality, available only to noble families littered the perimeter of the plaza. For a citizen to gain the right to work here was a huge privilege, and only reserved for the families that proved themselves most loyal to the city, or were otherwise noticed for their outstanding talents.

The latter was how Qen went from a slave to his current position. He’d been working as a slave laying tile along the road leading out from the northern gate when he was noticed by a noblewoman from the Djahy family. She’d called him out, spoken with him briefly, and then dismissed him. He thought nothing of it, but the next day when he reported for work he was told that he was no longer a slave, and that he should report to the destination where he was headed now.

The building that was his destination was not the Great House. He could see the Great House in the distance on the other side of the plaza. Itself surrounded by yet another heavily-defended wall, he’d never actually been inside, but it certainly lived up to its namesake. All pillars and towers, a courtyard filled with fountains and pristine statues inlaid with gold and gemstones. He found it somewhat gaudy, but it certainly made a strong impression.

It was easier if his children believed that he worked in the Great House rather than his actual occupation. His destination was one of the buildings surrounding the plaza - owned by the Djahy family, this three-story mansion was draped in blue fabrics, and had burning sticks of incense placed along its veranda creating a sweet, calming smell. Each day a fresh rug was placed on the stairs that lead up to the entrance, a thick wooden doorway painstakingly sanded and oiled until it was as smooth as glass. Around the doorway the stone was carved with images of men and women in the nude, twisting and writhing together in shapeless forms. A heaviness settled into his chest as he ascended the pristine stairway to the Azure Veil.

Opening the door, which swiveled silently on well-oiled hinges, he stepped inside. The vestibule was filled with the scent of flora and spices, even more pronounced than the veranda. The floor was thickly carpeted, and illumination was provided by expensive lighting artifacts covered with thin dyed shades that bathed the room in quiet colors. Rich blue drapes hung from the vaulted ceiling, their edges embroidered with golden patterns. In the center of the room stood a small statue of a man and woman in tight embraces, limbs wrapped around the other as though trying to merge into one. To his left, a small fountain burbled gently, its water flowing over smooth obsidian stones.

“Right on time, Qen, as always.” The figure who greeted him stood aside the fountain dressed in a nearly-transparent silk dyed the faintest of blues. Her ears were adorned with golden rings that wound along her auricle, and her face was accentuated with faint makeup, creating a blush on her cheeks and a slight blue shade around her eyes.

“Good morning Pyhia. Are you well?”

“I am well, thank you.” Pyhia responded, her tone silky, “If you would be so kind, the baths could use some attention before you get set up.”

“I’ll head there now.” He replied, turning towards the hallway.

Qen made his way deeper into the pleasure house, feeling more and more like entering into the innards of some great carpeted beast. He hated the air here - so heavy with perfumes and incense, he felt like it stuck to his lungs. Attendants in flowing silks bustled through the corridors as he passed through, preparing rooms and stations with a practiced efficiency. Turning left, he entered the baths.

The room was large and wide, with a tiled floor and stone walls. The air was filled with a steamy haze, and the sound of trickling water echoed softly against the stone. There were many pools of different temperatures, from freezing cold to scalding hot, each with salacious statues on marble pedestals in their center. Thin dyed silks were draped from the ceiling at varying heights, some even descending so far as to have their tassels brush the floor. It was empty now, but as the day passed this room would be filled with tired nobles who wished to forget their worries and bathe in comfort, every need addressed by a beautiful, scantily clad attendant who was at their beck and call. Like Qen.

He grimaced. No point thinking about it. He grabbed a mop and got to work cleaning the tiled floor.

- break -

When he was finished in the baths he reported back to Pyhia, changed into the same transparent silks that were the uniform for all workers, then went to his workstation. He had his own room which he’d furnished sparsely. There was a large table in the center covered with a queen-size mattress and some sheets, which had a face rest for those lying face-down. Another table nearby held countless vials filled with clear oils. He prepared his station by covering the mattress with clean sheets he’d prepared at the end of his shift yesterday, and opening the window to let in some air. He was scolded for that several times, but he responded that his room was meant to provide for those who wanted some fresh air without going outside. There was no reduction in his business, so it was allowed.

He’d just finished preparing the room when there was a knock at his door.

“Come in.”

The door opened, and a woman appeared. She wore long, flowing robes made of the finest silks and dyed a rich gold. A golden tiara sat atop her braided hair, and a simple golden necklace draped around her slender neck. She was in her mid-thirties, her posture elegant. Her figure was lithe, with shoulders tapering to a narrow waist and a graceful, athletic build that spoke of hidden strength.

“Scotia,” Qen said, “Welcome.”

Scotia Sobe, a noblewoman of the Sobe family. She’d become a regular for him over the years, often coming numerous times each week. She accounted for more than half of his business.

“You say the same thing every time Qen. You greeted me the same way yesterday.”

“My apologies.”

She rolled her eyes at him.

“You don’t need to be so formal with me. I swear, you’re as solid as a Sentinel.”

As she spoke she closed the door behind her, and in a smooth movement removed her robe entirely, standing naked before him.

Qen met her eyes steadily.

“You’re no fun at all.”

“My apologies.”

“I have you booked all day.” She laid face-down on the mattress, placing her face in the cradle, “You may begin.”

Qen began. He covered his hand with oil, and worked it a bit to warm it up, then climbed onto the bed and started massaging Scotia’s feet.

“How are you feeling today?”

“Ugh, poorly. My husband is caught up in some legal matters regarding the convoy to Nome Hata. The independent merchants accompanying the convoy are causing a fuss. They argue they should be taxed at the normal rate, but the Djahy family argues that since they are receiving additional protection from the Nomarch’s soldiers, they should pay at a higher rate.”

“I see, I’m sorry about that.”

“I feel like all you do is apologize to me. If you have to apologize so much, why should I keep coming here?”

“There must be some reason.” As he spoke he pressed his thumb into her calf, applying soothing pressure to a muscle that felt tight.

“Umph. That’s cheating.”

Qen did not respond.

“That’s not all. Khase has been seen bullying a child in the market - he cornered the poor thing and stole his bread. It wasn’t a noble child at least, but it still frustrates me. He thinks if he shows his strength it will get him noticed, and he’ll be accepted for Khasut training. He doesn’t understand that he’s only showing a lack of emotional control - it will hurt him. And his father won’t do anything since he’s so caught up in work, and he doesn’t listen to me.”

Qen’s eyebrow twitched, but he didn’t say anything. Instead he moved upward, and began massaging Scotia’s hamstrings and lower back.

“For my part,” Scotia said, “I’ve been working with the Heka family. They want to expand the farmland around the Everspring further south, and build an outpost there to keep it defended. It just… requires a huge amount of logistical work. And the pace they’re trying to move at is just unsustainable.”

“That sounds very difficult.”

She sighed.

“I don’t know why I’m telling you about all this, I guess it makes me feel better to vent.”

They proceeded in silence for a while. Qen massaged her hamstrings and glutes, then her back and shoulders.

Every once in a while, Scotia would sigh pleasurably when he pressed a particularly tense muscle.

He’d started working his way down, when Scotia stretched languidly, her muscles visibly relaxing under his hands. She turned onto her back, meeting his gaze with an expectant look.

“Shall we move on?”

Qen did as instructed.

- break -

After their first session, Scotia had ordered food and drinks delivered to the room. Then, after eating, she wanted another massage. After that, she fell asleep for a while, and had him hold her while she slept. Hours passed. When she awoke, more food and another round ensued.

By the time she was ready to leave, it was already late in the afternoon.

“This was the last day I’ll be able to come here for a while with how busy things are getting. I’m going to book you during the day anyway though - in case I can find some time to slip away.” She spoke as she rested her head on his shoulder, and traced a finger across his chest.

It wasn’t the first time she’d done this. It meant that he needed to be ready for her to show up any time. He couldn’t leave the pleasure house, but he also couldn’t take any other clients. Those days he usually spent cleaning and prepping, helping out other workers with whatever they needed. When there was nothing to do, he meditated.

“I’ll be ready for you if you find some time.” He responded.

She gave him a smile.

“I know you will. How is Menes doing? Is he enjoying school?”

Scotia asked about Menes and Seshe from time to time, but never inquired about Shemay.

“He is, and Seshe has been studying as well. She’ll be able to start next year.”

“Are you able to afford it alright? Do you need some money?”

Qen hesitated briefly. It went against everything in his nature to ask, but…

“As always, anything you can help us with is greatly appreciated.”

She smiled more widely. She reached over the side of the bed into her pile of clothes and withdrew a fine leather wallet. She pulled out some large bills and handed them to Qen.

“For a job well done as always.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate it.”

She sat up onto her elbows and looked at him. “You know, if you are tired of working here I could hire you personally. As my… attendant.”

Qen’s eyebrows raised slightly.

“Ha! So there is a person in there after all.” Scotia laughed.

“Not a very tasteful joke.” Qen muttered.

“Who says I was joking? As much as I’m sure you enjoy this station, if you worked for me you’d be able to do other work besides… this. I’m confident you can read, write and be discreet?”

“I can.”

“And there would be plenty of ‘this’ as well, but only with me.”

Qen paused for a moment.

“I need to… think about it. And discuss it with my family. I appreciate the offer, and I will consider it seriously.”

“Well don’t burst a blood vessel. I’ll be wanting an answer next time I come back okay? It's rude to keep a maiden waiting…” She planted a kiss on him, then quickly stood, dressed, gave him a cheeky wink, and then she was gone.

Qen spent the rest of his shift tidying his room, washing sheets, and helping with mundane tasks around the pleasure house. The sun was setting when he finally finished wiping down the last table and changed back into his civilian clothes. His trip back home took him around an hour, and he spent the whole trip considering the offer before him.

Part of him wanted to accept immediately. It was a chance, an opportunity to flex the skills that had been deteriorating as they went unused over the years he worked in the Azure Veil. If he was assisting Scotia with other matters, besides the physical, he could show his value, earn more for his family, possibly even move them into the middle-class district one day!

Another part of him pushed back just as strongly. If he did this, he’d be providing real value to Nome Sefet. Rather than just carving out a basic life, he’d be actively involved in the Nome’s politics, its growth. Did he really want to do that here? In this Nome that had once taken everything from him? Deep inside of him, a resentment burned for Nome Sefet - it was nestled just behind his heart, and when he searched for it, he found it there, burning still. A deeply ingrained hatred that he’d held as dearly as his identity for as long as he’d been forced to live and work here.

When he arrived home he was greeted by a familiar sight. Seshe was sitting at the table reading one of Menes’ school books, though she got up to give him a hug when he came inside, and Shemay was finishing up dinner in the kitchen. For Menes’ part, he was seated at the table and looked like he was about to fall asleep, eyes half open and head lolling to the side. Must have had a busy day.

Dinner was steamed rice with cabbage and peas. It was a good meal as far as what they could afford, though it had been a while since they had any meat. Qen would have brought food back from the Azure Veil, but it was extremely forbidden - in the past, workers had placed fake orders so that there would be leftovers at the end of the day they could bring back. When this was discovered, it was forbidden to bring back any food from the pleasure house, on pain of arrest and prosecution for thievery.

Qen as usual took a very small portion, since he’d eaten plenty during the day. However he notice that Menes did the same, which was unusual. Usually Menes ate as much as he could get away with.

“Not hungry Menes?” It was Shemay who asked, “Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine, just sleepy. Do you mind if I turn in early?”

Qen and Shemay looked at each other.

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat more?”

“Yeah, I promise I’m fine, just really tired.”

Shemay looked at Qen. He shrugged.

“If you’re that tired, it's fine. You’re excused.” Qen said.

“Thanks. I’ll be better tomorrow.”

Menes got up from the table and disappeared into the bedroom.

The rest of the evening went normally. Qen and Seshe helped Shemay clean up, but as Seshe was tidying the kitchen, Qen pulled Shemay aside.

“Would you like to go for a walk with me?” He asked.

Shemay, noticing his serious expression, agreed.

They walked out into the moonlight, heading south. They walked for a little while in silence, each enjoying the sounds of the night. [fantasy bird names] had emerged from their nests in the sand and flew overhead snatching up bugs, chirping as they danced in the dark sky.

Finally, Shemay broke the silence, slowing to a stop.

“Is it bad news?” She asked. Her voice was flat..

“No!” Qen said quickly. He turned to face her. “No. It's not bad news. One of my regulars, from the Sobe house. She’s offered me a position as her… assistant.”

Shemay looked at him.

“That sounds like good news?”

“It.. it could be. But, I wanted to talk to you first.” He looked back at her continuing. “I know that what I do shames you. I’m as sorry for it today as I am about…” he gestured vaguely to his surroundings, “all of this.”

Shemay didn’t reply.

“I know it's not what I promised you. This… fucking place. These cursed people that took us from Nome Hepesh. It drives me mad, being here.” he lowered his voice to a growl. “Every day I don’t slaughter each and every one of these preening jackals I feel the weight of all my brothers pressing down heavier upon me.”

“...and so?” Shemay asked.

Qen looked away.

“I’m a failure of a husband and a father.”

The slap came quickly. Even with reflexes dulled with time, Qen could have caught it, or dodged. He took it without complaint.

Shemay spoke in a hissed whisper, “Why do you think I slapped you just now. Do you think it's because you’re not killing the guards, taking their weapons, and staging a suicidal assault on every noble in Sefet?”

“I…”

“We are not where we want to be now. We are not where we were. We have CHILDREN!” The last word was hissed so violently that it sounded like a curse.

She paused, took a breath, and her next words were smoother.

“And they love you. Dearly. And they think of you as a king. I don’t enjoy what you do, it hurts me, but I know I hate it less than you must. And it has elevated us to a place where the kids are safe, mostly. They can get an education. We can put food on the table.”

Suddenly, Shemay pulled him into a hug.

“We are on the edge, Qen. We climbed up from the cliffside, but we are standing on a crumbling ledge. I need you to be stable for us. That is all I need from you. If working with the Sobe house means more stability, more safety, then I support it.”

Qen wrapped his arm around her, a hollow pain worming deeper and deeper into his chest.

“I’m sorry. I’ll tell her I accept the position. I should be able to bring back more money soon.”

They stayed like that for a minute, wrapped in a deep embrace.

“I love you.” Qen said.

They stood together in the darkness.