Building a mask was hard at first since it didn't feel natural at all. It made human interaction artificial, stale even. Talking, walking, eating, laughing,...living. Normally these come naturally. Normally you don't consciously live life.
Words don't studder on the tongue, they're supposed to be roll smoothy. Shoulder's can't be caved in, you have to pull 'em back and stick your chest out. Spine straight, head high, and walk heel to toe. But do the masses have perfect posture? Do they walk in straight lines and speak fluidly?
No, that's not normal. That's perfection.
You got to have a balance between slob and adonis. The two social extremes. You can have messy hair but not bad breathe. White teeth with just a little acne. Slouched posture but a sure stride. Baggy eyes but a attentive gaze.
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You can have all this but still seem off to the untrained eye. You shouldn't always be attentive or have a sure stride when your lost. It the all important context that controls any and all situations you'll find yourself in. Otherwise after long enough people will see the staleness of it. That your not normal.
The key to the facade is figuring out the expectations of others and just meeting them. You'll remember that greasy haired zombie at the store but not the zoned out cashier, the huffing and puffing skeleton across the street but not the dog walker. It's the subtle art of normal that I desperately need to master.
On the bright side of things, I've gotten to know what it's like to be on the other side of the spectrum. The handsome and beautiful. The chiseled and curvy. The famous and revered. I just need to twist some of the looks and whispers. Adjust the disgust to admiration. Adversion to attraction.
It's a nice little daydream I do for distraction. That and music but they took that too, recently. Don't have much anymore,... but that's what this is all about!
If I don't have anything I'll make more. I'll craft a new life and if they take that one too then I'll make another one!