"Hello, Jackie!" The greeting is immediately followed by a 24-pack of Budweiser and an oversized package of butcher's special bacon hitting the conveyor belt beside me.
I turn to find Joseph Grisholm. Not really in my age range, or my cup of tea, being ten years younger than myself. I place a divider on the belt and continue unpacking my own cart. Personal space is evidently not an option today.
Joseph is trying to get the attention of the cashier. She, for her part, is doing a good job of ignoring him.
"Come on, Jackie! It was one kiss. One kiss! We were drunk, okay? And we've known each other since forever. It was a mistake, okay? It won't happen again. I promise."
"Oh brother," I mutter under my breath.
Joseph quickly turns his attention on me. He opens his mouth to speak. He never gets the chance. Jackie stops ringing up my groceries. For a moment, it seems like she is experiencing some kind of system glitch. The next second, she is over the counter and on the conveyor belt. She knocks items aside as she scrambles for Joseph's throat. Shock, and a perverse kind of awe, keep me standing right where I am.
Jackie screams like a mad banshee as she collides with Joseph; driving him to the concrete floor. She grips the bulging pack of butcher's bacon and slams it over and over again on Joseph's arms, chest, and torso. At least once, she connects with his face. But it is just a slight brush. Lucky for him.
Joseph's half-hearted efforts to defend himself, against her absurd onslaught, only makes her just that much more angry.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Around us, customers grab out their phones and call family members, friends, and the police. Some even snap a few photos. Such spectacles are not often seen around here. This, right here, was the stuff of legends.
A incoherent stream of babble comes from Jackie's lips, as she attempts to bludgeon her cheating boyfriend with his cheap bacon.
After a few moments of silly violence, it becomes obvious that the blows are starting to hurt. Joseph stops laughing and raises his voice in protest. He finally tries to shove Jackie away. The surrounding crowd becomes animated.
A large woman grips Jackie under the armpits and yanks her backward. Jackie falls away from Joseph and wheels on the larger woman. Like a crazed spider, she launches herself at the woman. The strange sounds still bubble from her throat. With one hand, Jackie strikes out at the large woman. Angry red marks appear on the woman's face, where Jackie has broken the skin with her savage fingernails. The woman releases Jackie and stumbles back.
At this point, I have had enough. I grab the Dr. Pepper 2-Liter I had just placed on the conveyor belt. Stepping behind Jackie, I use it like a bat. Jackie sprawls away from the large woman, hitting the concrete floor. Flipping over onto her back, she meets my gaze. For the first time, in ten minutes, she is completely silent. Then, her eyes roll up into her head. A seizure causes her body to go into a stiff wriggling.
Every eye in the place turns to me. Suspicion, accusation, and several degrees of anger flash on many faces. We're they really blaming me? This was the same young woman who had been attempting to beat Joseph senseless with a package of butcher's bacon. The same young woman who had been screaming like a crazed siren only moments before. Who had torn the skin from a woman's cheek. Someone had needed to stop her before she seriously hurt someone. I did what I thought made sense...At the time.
Sirens can be heard a moment later, as four squad cars crest the hill. Looking around at the hostile faces, I utter a deep sigh.
"Oh brother!"