I watched as the sick lizardfolk sat down under a tree and leaned its back on its truck with a sigh. Then it pulled a handful of berries out of a pouch on its loincloth and began to eat them. This was not normal behaviour for its kind.

It could be because it was sick. The lizardfolk appeared to be waiting for something. For the night, maybe? For a predator to come and attack it? Because this is what was going to happen if it continued to just sit there. Lizardfolk weren’t the only ones to hunt in this area.

Maybe it was the plan. Nature weeded out sick and weak, and animals knew it, and knew then it was time for them to go. Many would wait for their death when their bodies couldn’t keep them ahead of predators anymore, and these monsters probably had enough intelligence to understand this.

Yes. This must be it. Still, I was careful as I approached the lizardfolk.

After all, even sick, it still was many times my size. It would be tricky to kill it with my stats, though my (relatively) high DEX gave me some options. It allowed me, at least, to move in speeds that were enough to harm it. Another question was that with my CON I will be harmed just as much, if not more, as a result.

I could wait for the lizardfolk to fall asleep, but by then another predator might appear and steal my prey. No, I had no time to waste. As it was, I had a reasonable assurance that even my basic beak and claw attacks will at least take away SOME of the lizardfolk’s HP. It had a stone spear with it, but from how sluggish the creature was, I had no fear of the lizardfolk actually hitting me with it.

With these thoughts in mind, I flew up from a branch above of the lizardfolk and set out to business. The opening attack was always the most important one, and twice as much so when my prey didn’t know I was there. It gave me opportunity and time to do some pretty neat manoeuvres. Like the one I went with now.

I flew to the other side of the tree trunk the lizardfolk sat at and spit out some web. It was more awkward to spin it with only two legs, but I did well enough, making a thick, sticky strand and plastering one end of it on the tree trunk.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

After that I flew higher up and around the tree, to be above the lizardfolk, who still ate his berries and didn’t look up. The strand of web flew out of my beak, a little uneven but who cared, as I circled the trunk. I stopped making more spider silk, but kept flying to pull the strand tighter.

A surprised chirp from the lizardfolk was my sign that it was tight enough. I plastered the second end of the strand to the tree and flew to inspect the results of my job.

The strand fell to the lizardfolk’s stomach, tying it up to the tree. The creature pulled at it with confusion on its face, which resulted in its hands sticking as well. Success! I used the moment of the lizardfolk’s temporary entrapment—and I had little doubt that it would be temporary as I didn’t have time to make a really strong web—to attack.

I dashed straight at the creature’s face, my wings fluttering wildly, my beak raised like a sharp battering ram. The lizardfolk only had time to look at me before I crashed into it and pecked right into its eye.

The lizardfolk screamed and tried to bar its hands at me, but they were stuck. I plunged beak as deep into its eye as it would go and clawed through its face with my claws for good measure. Then, when I was sure that the creature was blind on that eye, I went for another and repeated my attack, taking the opportunity to swallow some of the slimy but savoury and delicious whites.

Suddenly, the blind lizardfolk stopped screaming and struggling. It went still, and if not for its heavy breathing, I’d consider it dead already. I paused in my ravaging to take a puzzled look at it, before shrugging (oh yes, my new anatomy let me shrug!) and beginning to eat my way through the creature’s eyes into its brain.

I was half-way through when I felt something tugging at me. Something like an urge, a desire… an itch. I pulled myself out of the dead by now lizardfolk to scratch one of my bloody wings with my beak.

‘What? Why the fuck wouldn’t you move, you damn bird? You are just an animal, you should do as I want!’

Spooked by a sudden voice, I fluttered away from the motionless lizardfolk, looking around wildly for whoever said this. There were plenty of sounds nearby—other birds chirping, leaves rustling, wind blowing—but neither of them belonged to humans. And this was a human speech I heard.

‘Oh wait. I should be asking different questions. Like ‘what is wrong with your character sheet’? Not only you have a name, your titles… ‘Lord of Nine Hells’? What. The. Fuck? And your abilities… Where the fuck did you get them?’

The voice sounded like it could belong to either a man or a woman, but I just couldn’t get where it was coming from. It sounded almost like someone was talking inside my head. Inside. My. Head! I let out a chirp of alarm.

‘Who are you?’ I shouted inwardly. ‘And how can you read my character sheet?’