I woke to the soft touch of the carpet coupled with a severe pain in my lower back. Why had I fallen asleep on the floor? I was reading everything I thought might be relevant. Dante’s Inferno, Paradise Lost, and a whole list of articles ranging from Hades to various cultist texts; anything related to the word demon and Hell. I remembered getting exhausted, but I needed to keep reading. So I laid down on the floor thinking it would be safer than laying on my bed. So much for that plan.
I tried to recall how much of my research actually stuck with me. Sitting on the ground turned into pacing around the room as I failed to remember a single relevant piece of information. Strands and pieces of the texts entered and left my mind, when suddenly I remembered. “The river to Hell was called Acheron!” My brief feeling of victory quickly turned into a deep feeling of despair. I decided to lay back down on the floor. The clock showed it was only 7. The world probably wouldn’t end if I waited a few more hours before going to see John and Happy.
“Happy…wait, maybe last night wasn’t a complete wash.” John mentioned she also went by Styx and Acheron. Then who was Happy? The two previous names were rivers that connect this world to Hell. I grabbed my phone and pull up the web browser. It opened to a page on “toilet demons.” There were three more tabs opened to pages on demons and running water. “Idiot.”
It didn’t take too much time to figure out who she really was. One of the oldest rivers that represents the passing from this world to the next is the Nile. While there are multiple Egyptian gods related to the Nile, the name Hapi immediately jumped out.
“’The god fertility and water. One of the most popular and powerful deities. The waters from the Nile originated from his house and reached all the way to the land of the dead.’ Wait, His house? ‘Hapi is often depicted as a man with large breasts and a distended stomach.’ I guess she’s a he? What does that even mean when your lower half is just a pile of flesh? Relations to other Gods: The husband of Naunet. Possibly the father of Ra. Associated with Osiris and Isis.” The text ended there. “Wait wait wait, that can’t be all.”
After spending an hour on other articles, I found that indeed that can be all. Hapi, despite being a popular god, had no temples dedicated to him. Meaning there was little detail and lots of conflicting information on who Hapi was. It dawned on me that this was becoming more of a job for a serious archeologist or scholar and not some high school graduate.
My phone buzzed, forcing me to look at the time. It was well past 10 and John was getting impatient. Armed with only a very mediocre understanding of Egyptian mythology, I traveled back to John’s house.
He stood outside his home waiting for me. I summarized the little I had recently learned and asked him what he knew.
“She thinks I summoned her to serve some kind of purpose. I don’t know what to have her do now.
“Can’t you just like, ask her to get you a soda and then send her back?”
“I was thinking this might be a better opportunity than that. You said that she’s essentially a goddess right? I asked her if she could make me a bunch of gold or king of the world. But she seemed, disappointed. As if she was saying, ‘that’s it?’ She also didn’t make it clear if she would return to Hell after fulfilling her purpose.”
“Did you just say king of the world.”
“Anyways, it’s really hard to tell what she’s thinking, especially since she doesn’t have a real face.”
We paused for a moment. We still knew practically nothing about the situation. I had many questions and John just seemed to be in a daze. I wondered if he thought this might all be a dream. Regardless, I knew that there was one thing that could provide some clarity.
“I suppose I should go and ask her a few questions directly.”
Seeing Hapi again was only more disturbing than last time. The more I looked at her, the more I realized that no parts of her looked human. Her skin had stretch marks all over. According to the web articles, Hapi was typically depicted with a deep green color. Now her skin looked pale purple, like it was stretched or bruised. Her elongated arms ended with massive claws that could hold a basketball like how I hold an orange. Her lower body was turned inside out, with lots of exposed intestines and muscle. It would undulate as blood pumped through her. It also seemed to be constantly morphing as well. Organs would slough off and get reabsorbed into her flesh. You’d think that she’d leave a huge trail of blood and guts, but whatever fell off dragged back into her like she was a giant blood magnet.
Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.
Her face is hard to describe. Yesterday I regarded it as cute since it appeared to be a woman’s face without a blemish. Now I realized it was more like a mask, completely solid. Her eyes were hidden by her straight haircut which covered right to the nose, or at least where the nose should be.
Suddenly her jaw lengthened and a mouth formed. She smiled at me. I had forgotten she was not a thing, and that I had been staring at her this whole time. Her organs started to pulsate faster.
“uh, hello, Hapi.”
“Greetings”
“I’m an acquaintance of John’s. I’m want to ask you a few questions.”
My friend was mouthing something in the background. It appeared he was saying ‘don’t piss her off.’ John was a fountain of usefulness.
“When was the last time you were on earth?”
“It was many years ago. I was younger and much more beautiful back then.”
“err, right.”
“Do you really think I’m pretty?”
“Excuse me.”
John was rapidly waving his hands over his head. The air started to heat up.
“Uh, of course you’re beautiful.”
She bounced up and down a little.
“What about me is pretty.”
Wasn’t I the one asking questions?
“Your hair is most definitely the most beautiful I’ve ever seen.”
She moved around as her organs began to pump faster, spilling more blood out of her. She ran her claws through her hair. It didn’t bend around her hand, rather it stood straight out and clanged when it collided with the other strands of hair. It must have been made of rock or crystal.
“You used to live in a desert, right?” I asked.
“Yes. I built a small home to live by myself. Most people were frightened by my appearance. It was so hot and dry that I had to dig a river to my house.”
“…you dug the river?”
“Oh yes. It wasn’t too difficult. I thought it would make my life a lot easier. But then a bunch of these humans started to show up. They were led to my house by another exiled god. They started building giant statues and cities all over. It was all quite noisy and annoying.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that and she took advantage of my silence.
“Tell me, have you ever been with a woman before?”
“Huh?” I look over at John, who shrugged in return.
“Are you a virgin?”
“I uh.” I couldn’t decide if lying in attempt to preserve dignity in front of a being who probably thought of me as an ant would be useful or meaningful. “Yes.”
“I see. I think I understand now.”
“You uh, understand what now?”
“The exchange.”
I look over at John. He was turned around and is playing GTAV. I massaged the sides of my skull as I felt the skin stretching.
“Can I ask you a few more questions?”
“You may.”
“Did you have any followers in Egypt?”
“They wanted to revere me and have me marry Osiris, but I was more interested in others at the time. Osiris is very ugly. Most of the bachelors chosen for me were too fat or too muscular. A slimmer body is much better don’t you think” she said as she moved her hands down her stomach.
“Right, I can see what you mean.” It was impossible to keep up with her pace. Why was she constantly brining up her looks? Is she incredibly self-conscious? I hesitated before asking the next question. She seemed to like me, but I don’t know if that would be enough.
“What is er, your lower body?”
She paused. The air began to heat up and an incredible rate.
“U-uh, I’m sorry!” I started to say.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t ask about that.” She said as she grabbed her flesh with her giant hands. “It’s typical of men to ignore a woman’s good points and exaggerate the bad.”
I kept my mouth shut.
“I was cursed by that bastard Yahweh to be the entrance to Hell and have every tortured soul pass through me. As you can see it made me fat.” She said while jiggling her flesh mound. The shaking was too much for me to stomach and I had to excuse myself immediately.
After having reversed my breakfast, I decided to hold off any more questions for fear of talking any more about Hapi’s beauty.
“I don’t have any more questions for you. I need to talk to John now.”
“Of course.”
I walked over to John who was still playing his game. I didn’t really have anything to say to him, so I simply told him that I found out enough information for today. Looking back at her, she made a piercing vibrating sound. She was humming.
“So what’s the plan now?”
“Hopefully I make a wish and she goes home.”
“Please do not wish to become king of the world”
“Look, don’t sweat it.”
“I think you’re taking this situation a little too lightly.”
“Hey man, we all got our own problems. You’re not the one who’s had to live in the basement and only get hand-me-downs as presents for 17 years.”
I didn’t know if I should apologize or not. It must be hard being the child of a priest.
“Well since you seem to have things under control I guess I’ll take my leave then.”
“Later.”