I was thinking of when to revise the chapters for some time, it would be during the 5th to the 8th chapter.

The reason I chose now was that the number of readers is dwindling by quite a bit and the number of followers had reached a stall, though it increases a little on every release. This isn't so much as people dropping the novel, but that people are dropping it for a reason. Yes, everyone has their likes and dislikes in a story and I acknowledge that, but, although it has some issues, I don't consider my story to be flawed to such an extent, so I blame it on the prose.

I'm in the middle of looking through the first chapter (about 60% there) and I won't stop until I reach the current one. Among the things that I noticed and that I'm changing:

1. Walls of text:

I'm separating lines that have no place in the same paragraph and breaking walls of texts in smaller parts, in general.

2. Needless description:

Some descriptions really don't mix in well IMO, especially physical appearances. I'm pretty much removing those on the first chapter, but that doesn't necessarily mean the characters will have zero features delineated. I still picture Shen's hair as white, and that will probably suffice for most of the story as this isn't a common color for a youngster (my story doesn't have much in the line of strange hair colors, though it does in regards to eyes). Wang Fan's description was basically erased.

What I kept were general thoughts, she just looks beautiful, Shen looks ok but beautiful when he takes care of himself - that's all. Again, eyes are good to go and even important, though this isn't Naruto.

I've talked a lot about appearances, but world building, in general, will see some cuts. There's just a lot of pointless information, interesting for a few purposes but not for advancing the plot, thrown out there and I feel bad for my readers for having to cope with it. The thing isn't even about how pointless it is, but there are some actually good parts that were meant to make you think on why I've written them. Since there is just way too much to swallow you probably just move on.

Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

Sorry about that.

About the description of emotions, I still have to reach that part. I reckon some parts might be portrayed better, obscured, or left as is.

3. Plotholes:

I've only noticed one in the first chapter so far, which mentioned Shen was born from a long-running family of slaves that went up to servants, but it doesn't match up with information presented in other chapters. I knew it was inconsistent, it was meant to be erased when I was writing the third chapter or so: I forgot to edit.

I take a lot of care not to fall into any plothole, but since the story had become quite long, this revision will help me keep to the core concepts.

4. Inconsistencies:

General inconsistency in the way people act and think. For instance, in chapter 1 "everyone" was shocked at seeing Wang Fan's feat. Now then, the ball shattering (now it doesn't shatter though) could very well surprise mortals, but the way it was portrayed made it look like everyone understood the issue, which isn't true. This whole "everyone" thing doesn't match very well, too, it made me think that I've suddenly grouped all ages, all sexes and all standings in one category. I also elaborated more on the scene in general, there were some strange points.

Moving on.

5. Explanations:

There are things that can be derived from actions and words and I go all the way and write them down for you. I'm axing those kinds of explanations.

I have yet to reach the part with Evil and Zhu Gong training Shen, but I think I can do a better job at making the scene more active. Zhu Gong's explanations were kind of intended (I'm still breaking them down in smaller bits), it was his first time having a disciple and I wanted him to act overprotective. Did I achieve it? I think I didn't since so many characters go for the long explanation.

I just laughed at myself.

6. Story:

A few things might change. Thus far nothing major, but we'll see.

I'll put it in next chapter's notes any major changes. Small changes will come after those.

7. Notes:

Just because.

***

Thanks for reading up until now and especially for those who followed, favorited or commented on this fiction. I will try and make it better. As for how much time it will take for me to do the job, all I can say is that I'll do my best to provide. I think I should manage it in under one or two weeks with my current workload.

I'll still be writing, but my focus will be on revision.