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Dead Eyes
1. A typical monday

1. A typical monday

It was an early Monday morning, like any other. Birds were chirping excitedly on the outside, completely ignorant of the annoyance they could cause to a certain grumpy, underslept, girl. The girl in question was silently staring up at her ceiling, trying and failing to come with any good reason to move out of her bed.

Her excuse came from the gentle sun rays that started peeking at her plain bedroom through the thin curtains that protected her from anyone trying to have a look inside of her bedroom. Though, she doubted anyone would be stupid enough to try to peek at a random room in the fourth floor of a building. Even if someone was courageous enough, there wasn't really much to see there.

Kary had a wardrobe on the opposite wall from her bed. It mostly stayed open due to its owner chronic laziness, revealing for all to see her collection of school uniforms and discount clothes. On the wall perpendicular to both the wardrobe and the bed there was a very simple wooden table, in which rested a pile of books thrown around half-haphazardly and an old laptop permanently connected to its charger.

That was where Kary spent most of her time. Day in and day out would be spent religiously studying, meticulously revising the subjects long since taught by her school. That was her life, almost completely devoid of social interactions. And she liked it that way.

She liked to study, to learn new things, to cram information inside of her head until she could barely think straight. She liked to spend hours upon hours solving math problems, searching for obscure historical anecdotes on the internet. It was a fun pastime, just good enough to distract her of life outside of her little room.

With a tired sigh, she stretched her feet upwards in a futile attempt to make her body want to properly function. Of course, her overworked body refused to fall for such tricks, and instead continued to scream for Kary to keep sleeping.

That wasn't going to happen, since it was, once again, Monday, and Kary had to go to school today, much to her dismay. And so, with another sigh, she got out of her bed, every joint in her body protesting against the rough movements.

Careful not to wake anybody up, the teenager silently tip-toed her way to the bathroom. Once there, she took the coldest shower she could reasonably take without having to worry about getting sick from it afterward. She loved those baths, as they washed away her sleepiness like some sort of magic.

Anyway, once she was done with the tiring process of getting herself awake, she moved to the kitchen, where she proceeded to prepare and eat simple bread with butter. It was pretty basic, and oftentimes hard to eat when the bread was old, but it was tasty nonetheless.

With most of her morning routine done, Kary checked the kitchen clock, which showed she still had some ten more minutes to laze around until she had to start her morning pilgrimage to hell. Though, if school was hell, then what would that make her home? Is there such a thing as a place worse than hell? Tartarus, maybe?

Pushing these thoughts out of her head, Kary made her was back to her room, wherein she quickly changed into her uniform, just like she had done thousands of times before. Before leaving, she checked if all of her materials were properly inside her backpack, and, once she confirmed that everything was, in fact, where it should be, she donned her shoes and quietly left the apartment.

She groaned as she began to descend the building through the stairs, just like she did every day. She was used to it by now, but that didn't mean she would ever stop complaining about it. It was an integral part of her routine, just as much as going down the endless flights of stairs was.

As she made her way to the bottom floor, she put her earbuds on, one of the few personal things her mother had allowed her to get only after much insistence and back-and-forth, but alas, it had worked. She made her way down the hill filled with buildings not too different from the one she just left; eventually arriving at the boring place enthusiasts might call 'school'.

See, here's the thing, while Kary liked to study on her own, she absolutely despised this thing called school. It was an institution permanently stuck in the past, where the subjects were taught with the lowest common denominator in mind.

Sure, some schools might have advanced programs and the like for the kids who were actually good at certain subjects, but of course Kary's school had nothing like that. It was, after all, a simple, badly scripted and poorly acted play, where teachers pretended to teach and students pretended to learn.

Everything was designed so that nobody would ever get held back a grade, no matter how atrocious their grades were. From the tests to the myriad of projects the teachers periodically would hand out, there was not one thing that would stimulate learning, not one thing to actually provoke thought. They were there to get to the next grade and pay the school for a job well done.

The morning passed in an incongruous blur as the classes melted together in a soup of mediocrity. During that time, Kary was either listening to music, searching random Wikipedia pages or simply sleeping. Of course, these activities weren't exactly mutually exclusive, so the girl would be usually doing more than one of them at any given time.

The teachers, of course, pretended they didn't see that. If they kept turning the blind eye to everything that happened around them, they would soon end up truly unable to see. Oftentimes, Kary found it hard not to laugh at their incompetence, as, even with her sitting at the very front of the class, she had never once been admonished by her obvious bad behavior.

After she heard the annoying bell over the violent blasting of her songs, she quickly packed the few things she had bothered to take out of her backpack and fled the prison known as school at almost running pace. With that, she managed to get far enough through the hallways before people started spilling over every classroom within reach.

With an audible sigh of relief, she allowed herself to relax as she slowed down her pace to something more reasonable. That decision backfired immediately, as, as soon as she stopped paying attention to her surroundings, she felt a cold, slender finger running through her spine.

That scare almost made Kary jump high enough to get stuck between the first and second floors. Of course, that didn't happen, since the scared girl had nowhere near the leg strength to do such a feat. Instead, she only got a few centimeters off the ground and let out a sound that most would never associate with a human being.

Bawling her still trembling hands into a fist, she turned around and savagely struck the historically laughing assailant right in the middle of their face. The girl who had sneaked up on Kary let out an astonished voice, before immediately falling on her back. Thankfully, she had a pretty full backpack, which, in retrospect, might be the trued culprit of the fall.

“Ouch! Why did you that?!” The girl asked, still lying comfortably on the ground as she massaged her red nose. “You need to tell me your secret, Kary, my girl; 'cause I don't think I've ever seen such strong spaghetti arms”

“You are well aware that all I do is staying cupped in my room all day. The most exercise I do every day is coming and going from school. If every time I give you a well-deserved punch you end up hurt, then maybe you're the one who's too soft” Kary replied in the same way she had done countless times before.

At this point, the girl should be used to Liz's everyday shenanigans, but she still managed to get her off guard in every single occasion. And in every single one of them, the mischievous girl would leave with a nose bearing a pretty closing resemblance to that of Rudolph.

“Yeah, yeah, you always say this, and yet I always end up kissing the floor. That's not normal, y'know? People who spend their entire lives sitting on a chair shouldn't be able to knock someone down, y'know?”

“Please, if you want to throw insults at me, then you need to start trying harder”

“Oh no, I wasn't trying to insult you. I was simply stating the fact that you're weird, nothing more, nothing less”

“Of course you were”

“So, do you want to come with me to that new restaurant down the block? I heard they have some pretty nice pasta”

“You know, I don't receive an allowance. Why even bother asking?”

“Because then I can pretend to treat you to something nice, only to call in on that favor later!”

“Well, at least you're honest. But still, my answer remains no”

“Oh, c'mon!!! Why not? It's not like you have anything better to do, right?”

“My mother ordered some food last night for me to eat as my lunch today. No, don't make this face, you know how my mother gets when she as much as feels like she wasted her money”

“Aww… I understand. Even if I'd love to be able to just do what I enjoyed the most full time like you, but I would like to keep my parents if this happened”

“Hah… yeah. If you don't feel like living with your parents, you're free to switch with me at anytime”

“No, not in a million years, no! I would never abandon my parents! They need me too much!”

“Pfft, okay, sure. Just… treasure what you got, okay?”

“Okaaaaaay, mom, don't you worry, I'll allow my parents to pamper me however much they want”

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“Good, now I have to go, sorry. I don't want to march uphill with the sun any higher than this”

“Oh… well, then, bye bye Kary, see ya tomorrow!”

“Bye Liz! Remember to tell me later all about the restaurant, okay? Bye!!!”

At this point, they had reached an intersection, in which point they went in their separate ways. Liz continued to walk forward; her mind focused solely in fantasizing about the delicacies the restaurant nearby could offer her. Kary, on the other hand, turned left and started walking at a brisk pace.

She once more equipped her earbuds, almost inseparable friends at this point. She slowly climbed the steep hill where her building resided, the loud music blasting her ears off drowning every other sound in the vicinity.

Because of that, Kary failed to notice the rapidly approaching car that was coming down the road. To be completely fair to her, however, under normal circumstances, very few people would even care to notice a car going down a road. There's nothing inherently unusual about it.

What was definitely unusual were the erratic movements the car periodically did, almost as if it was trying (and terribly failing) to dance. It strode forward with the confidence of a professional dancer and the ability of newborn baby. It would be funny, endearing even, to watch such a scene from afar, but the up-and-close experience couldn't be anything other than terrifying.

Thankfully, Kary was blissfully unaware of the impending danger uncontrollably coming to her direction, as all her attention was directed to the web novel she had been accompanied ever since she had first discovered it.

She was used to walking around without paying attention to her surroundings. After all, with the amount of parents and students going around at this time, a robber would need to be either extremely stupid or extremely desperate to try and pull something off around these parts. And yet, her confidence in the security of the neighborhood betrayed her when it mattered the most.

With a tired sigh, she stopped for a bit to catch her breath. Panting a little at the effort it took to climb the hill, she looked around as she wiped her sweaty forehead with the back of her hand. What she didn't expect to find was a speeding car heading precisely towards her position.

Astonished by the reckless driving, Kary tried to get out of the way. She tried hard to control her body, to make it get as far away as it could from the future place of impact as it could. However, absolutely nothing happened. Nothing at all.

Doing any sort of movement felt like moving in slow-motion, any action feeling as dragged-out as a walk in mud. Her eyes darted around, trying to find something, anything that she could place her hopes on.

The problem was that there was simply nothing. The street was entirely deserted, with the exception of the accelerating car and the trembling mess that stood in its way. There was nobody to help Kary, no object nearby that could provide some sense of security, regardless of how fragile it would be.

She watched in horror as the car slowly inched towards her, her mind racing with an uncountable number of thoughts zipping through her paralyzed brain every fraction of a second. And still, even with all that computing power, even with complete understanding of the situation taking place right in front of her, Kary was incapable of doing anything.

She was but a mere spectator of her own death, simply watching the events unfold from a detached position, unable to relate to the character and thus, incapable of feeling their existential pain. Their resignation. Their sorrow. Her own sorrow.

Amidst all of her internal turmoil, the first thought she managed to fully process was a simple 'huh'. She wasn't confused about the abnormal situation, the state of the car or her own state. She simply accepted whatever would happen within the next few seconds.

It was a nice life, all things considered. I don't think it was a happy one, or even a fulfilling one, but it was pretty nice. I lived in a nice home, went to an easy school. I even made a friend! How did that even happened?!

Now that everything is coming to a close, I can't help but wonder, how different would my life would have been if I had been born from different parents. Would I still be me? Would I still be here, in a hot morning afternoon, wondering how things could have gone another direction while I wait for my certain death? Would I be happy, then? Would life be worth it? Would it be worth it to try and save myself? Well, no point in imagining alternative scenarios now.

She closed her eyes, completely surrendering herself to fate. In the partial darkness provided by her closed eyelids, she could feel her distressed heartbeat, her profusely sweating body, her trembling jaw. She was scared, terrified, mortified, even, but the decision had been made. The die had been cast.

Kary felt the sun hitting every square centimeter of exposed flesh, the uncomfortable friction of her clothes against her skin. She could heat the car, its desperate driver trying to take control of the untamed beast. She marveled in her mind at how such a sophisticated construct could fail so badly, to the point where it would cause at the very least one death.

She smelt the smoke coming off from somewhere in the car, the invasive gas obstructing her nostrils and filing her lungs. She heard the screams, the desperate attempts to steer the hunk of metal and plastic out of the way, the wheels frantically refusing to properly turn.

She could feel the wind whipping her head, its force enough to blow the entirety of her long hair backwards. She heard the screech of the wheels, signifying that they had been finally tamed. But alas, it was too late. Kary waited for the collision, almost eager to experience it, but for a few extensive seconds, nothing happened. And then she heard the crash.

She, however, did not feel any impact whatsoever. Outside of the heavy gust of wind that assaulted her, there was no physical reaction. Slowly, very, very, slowly, she allowed herself to open her eyes. The sudden light hurt slightly, but it was nothing to write home about.

Frantically, she looked around, trying to find the site of the crash. It was pretty easy to find, of course, especially considering it was only a few maters distant from her. There it was, the bulky, malfunctioning car in all of its glory, smashed into a light pole, smoke pouring out of the chassis in droves. Inside, an unconscious person still tightly holding the steering wheel.

Her eyes widened as she stared at the sight. Her eyes began to water as her knees refused to keep working any longer. Right then and there, on the terribly dirty sidewalk, Kary began to bawl like a baby, for reason no baby could even comprehend.

Eventually, someone called the emergency service. Kary didn't see who it was, or how much time had passed. No matter how much she told herself to calm down, her heart stubbornly refused to settle down and her body could not stop shaking. Deep breath, deep breaths, in and out.

Before the ambulance could arrive, the girl had recuperated somewhat. Not nearly enough to fool a seasoned doctor, but just enough to avoid getting sent to the hospital along with actual victim. When the emergency vehicle arrived to drag the man to the hospital, they asked Kary some questions, to which she shakily provided the best answers her troubled mind could think of.

They hurriedly left with the bleeding patient, leaving Kary alone with her own thoughts on the sidewalk. She tried to take some more deep breaths to stop trembling like a twig in a hurricane, but the image of almost certain death was still fresh on her mind, and it would still probably haunt her for years to come.

Once again she closed her eyes, trying to process everything that had just transpired. Her resignation, her acceptance, her melancholy, all shattered before her eyes. She was ready to die in that brief window, she even entertained thoughts of living another life. But, it seems that it was never meant to be. Though if that is good or bad in Kary's eyes remains to be seen.

She stared at the sky, as if asking God himself if that was all part of his grand plan, if this situation was all required for his grand scheme. Of course, she heard no answer other than the background ambience music provided by her still working earbuds.

Sighing in defeat, she took off the two devices and secured them in their little box, before carelessly throwing said box inside of her backpack. With her brain still insisting to brood over the failed accident, Kary resumed her march to her house; all the while self-deprecating thoughts plagued her mind.

Why did I think about those things? Why did my body didn't listen to me? Am I so desperate that I would accept death at the first mild inconvenience that appears in my path? Hah... I'm so fucking pathetic. Look at me! Even now I can't stop thinking about how much it wouldn't have sucked to just... get hit by that car.

But of course, that wasn't going to happen. Even if by some stroke of luck it did, in fact, hit me, I'd just get rushed to hospital, and my life would remain the same afterwards. I'd still have to live with that house, with those two, leaving early every day and spending every ounce of free time I have studying. No matter what I do, things won't ever change.

Worse, getting hurt would make my mother think she might lose her golden duck, her golden ticket to future prosperity. And I can only imagine how she would react. Badly, very, very badly, I'd wager. She was never one to take things lightly, especially things that can make her money.

With another sigh, she continued on her merry way, barely even taking a glance at all the stares at her disheveled brown hair, her dirty uniform and her still red, puffy eyes. She could feel the pity in those glances, the many questions that will remain forever unanswered. She could feel their weight on her shoulders, and still, she kept walking, unperturbed.

She was tired, hungry, sweaty and in desperate need of a bath. Regardless of what the image the neighboring houses would have of her now, Kary just wanted to get home, to lock herself in her room and cry herself to sleep.

Her muscles all screamed for her to slow down, but she couldn't care less about her own physical state. If getting sore later meant she could arrive home just a tad bit faster, than it would be worth it. Of course, her future self would undoubtedly be throwing harsh insults at her present self because of her stupid carelessness, but Kary would be dead ten times over before she managed to please her future self.

She let out a small chuckle devoid of any happiness at that thought. Nothing she did would ever be enough to please herself... or the others around her. But that was okay. She was used to this sensation, the feeling of being seen as a disappointment, a liability, at most.

As she continued to power walk towards the building she lived in, she ended up passing by a construction site. Thanking the inefficiency of the government for one in her life, she began to take in the many detail in the unfinished building.

The exposed bricks, still very orange and bright, the many construction workers scattered around with as much care as the books thrown inside the girl's own backpack. The many unmoving heavy vehicles, showing all their might without showing an ounce of their usefulness. The big dog sitting on the wall leading to the street with a little pile of bricks lying beside him.

It was a cute dog, simply coexisting with the gruff and buff construction workers. Despite the rain of depressive thoughts she was having, she allowed herself to smile, just this once, at the little doggo. He wasn't even that little, but that didn't matter too much.

That is, it didn't matter until it picked up a brick with its wide mouth, staring straight into Kary's eyes as if judging her very soul. Her smile was quickly replaced by a wary expression, and she once again began to move. She was close now, just a few more minutes and she would arrive to her apartment.

The dog, however, seemed to have other plans in mind. With the precision of a professional sniper, it threw the brick at where Kary would inevitably pass through. With a big, goofy grin, almost innocent if not for the bloodthirsty evident in its eyes, it watched as the brick soared to the air, with all the grace of... well... a brick, and landed squarely on the back of Kary's head.

The girl, who could not have possibly imagined such a scenario even in her wildest, most delusional dreams, was utterly flabbergasted by the sudden hit to the back of her head. She wanted to turn around, to see what asshole was responsible for the attack, but she realized she couldn't control her body at all.

She was falling forward, with no way to stop the inevitable painful collision with the ground. This time, she refused to close her eyes, since, if she did, she would be unable to catch a glimpse of her assailant. She watched as the ground neared her in slow motion. She could see the grains of concrete on the ground, the marks of erosion, the little cracks and crevices.

She could also feel the pain, the sensation of having her skull cracked, with her blood trying to leave her body in droves. The last thing she saw was the big dog standing on top of the wall, looking at her body with satisfied smile. Realization downed in as everything faded to black.

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