Vreil ducked to dodge an arrow of love and then jumped to the right to avoid a big piece of cheese that fell from the sky.
“Down, Vreil!” shouted Sting and Vreil fell to the ground right away, dodging an arrow of love coming from his blind spot by a hair’s breadth. If he was hit by such an arrow, he would fall in love with the first person he saw for five minutes. They were like normal arrows, but had a small, pink, heart-shaped tip.
The pieces of cheese were slightly more annoying. Every time they were hit by one, small mice would appear from inside and chase them for a while. Every once in a while, the Joke appeared and threw things at them himself, always smiling.
Another small man appeared from behind a tree and shot a love arrow. This tribe of little people was called the Wanka Wanka tribe, and they only appeared when a prank war was taking place. They were wearing silly outfits and had the size of a ten-year old child, but they were extremely swift and strong, not to mention skilled with bows.
At this point, everyone but Vreil and Sting were hiding in the wagons.
According to the Joke, they were playing a game where whoever was hit by the arrows or the cheese was considered “out”. If, within half an hour, all of the players were “out”, the Joke said they would receive some unknown punishment. On the other hand, if even one remained, they would get an hour without pranks.
A small, circular glade had been designated as the area of the game and anyone that left that area was automatically considered “out”. The Joke and the Wanka Wanka were not allowed to enter the glade.
Now, twenty nine minutes into the game, only Vreil and Sting remained. The rest, having lost within the first five minutes, had withdrawn. It had indeed been very disturbing when Jeffrey fell in love with Arnold for five minutes.
Apparently, the Joke had never let anyone win this game so now, with thirty seconds remaining, he was giving it his all, using his own clones in addition to the Wanka Wanka to throw more cheese. The Wanka Wanka themselves were sweating and so were the two players.
Vreil and Sting had found a plan. Standing in the middle, they each faced one half of the glade and had divided that half into six zones, with zone 1 being the one at their far left and zone 6 the one at their far right. That way, their zones combined formed something like a clock, with them in the middle. When something came from one of the zones, the one who saw it had to yell the number of the zone so the other one could dodge as well. With this system, they had very few blind spots.
“They are amazing”, Heartilia said from inside her wagon.
“Five”, Vreil shouted and they both dodged an arrow.
“Three”, Sting shouted and cheese flew by them.
“How can they do that?” she asked. Ten seconds remaining.
“One”, Sting shouted.
“Four”, the Joke shouted as it threw a piece of cheese right down Vreil’s zone two.
“Two” Vreil yelled hurriedly, but it was too late. Confused, Sting didn’t move and was hit by the cheese. All by himself, Vreil had dozens of blind spots, but only five seconds were left. Could he last that long? A final volley from the Wanka Wanka came at him from almost every direction. Just as the arrows and cheese were upon him, Vreil dropped to the ground, his nose rubbing the grass. He smiled. Everything passed above him and only one second was left. He could do it this time. Just when he thought that, a small piece of cheese landed softly on the back of his head.
“Victoryyyyy”, shouted the Joke in its annoying voice as it launched himself in the sky, followed by a rising rainbow. In his wagon, Sir Arnold had placed his hands over his ears and was trying to hide behind the crate containing the fake jewels, whispering, “make him stop, please. I’m begging you.”
He had been like this since the prank war began. Vreil stood up and sighed. Since the game was over, there were no mice in the cheese. But this was the fifth game they lost, and he didn’t even want to remember the previous ones.
“Don’t worry, you were so close”, Heartilia tried to comfort them.
“We didn’t win”, Sting replied with a dark face. “Only victory and defeat matters, and we lost.” She tried to say something, but someone else spoke first.
“Let them be”, sounded the Joke’s voice. Heartilia looked down and saw that the Joke’s head had appeared on the ground in front of her right leg. She jumped back screaming. “Anything you say will only make them feel worse. Let them get over it in their own way.” Saying that, the head vanished.
“I guess he can say something good occasionally”, noted Jeffrey getting out of his wagon.
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“Is Ashter still sleeping?” Vreil asked.
“Yes, and he shows no signs of waking up. I wonder what’s happening with him.” Did that thing I saw back then have something to do with Ashter? Vreil wondered, but kept that thought to himself. He wasn’t ready to share that experience with anyone.
“Now,” the Joke descended from the sky, “what punishment should I give you?”
“A mild one?” Heartilia tried her luck.
“No, no. But I will think about it for a while. For now, I think I will give you some time to sleep. Then we will all laugh a lot. Yahahaha.”
“Are you pitying us?” Sting shouted angrily. “You said you would give us an hour if we won, and we didn’t win. Why are you insulting us like that, Joke?”
“I was going to let you sleep anyway. You need it to get your energy back. But if you won, I would give you an extra sixty minutes. Good night, yahahahaha”, he flew away.
“Oh, and one more thing”, it said as he appeared behind them. “I respect my opponents. I would never insult you like that. You have five hours.” Then it vanished in thin air.
There was silence for a while. “If he says so, we should-“, Vreil tried to say something, but he was interrupted.
“HOW?” shouted Sir Arnold. “How can you be so relaxed around this thing? Can’t you see it’s evil? It’s driving me crazy!” He had just come out of his wagon with a crazy look in his eyes. “We have to kill it. Vreil, Sting, grab your weapons and follow me. We will…” with a sudden burst of light, Sir Arnold disappeared and a paper note appeared in his place.
You can’t focus on our war like that. I will put him to sleep at the exit until you arrive there.
The Joke
“Sir Arnold?” Jeffrey said waveringly. Naturally, there was no reply.
“Maybe it’s for the best”, said Vreil. “I mean, he didn’t like it here. If the Joke had asked him, he probably would have agreed.”
Linda said nothing. Apparently, she was the silent type, even though she had spoken ten times as much as the two guards combined. “Anyway,” said Sting, “since we have time, let’s use it.” For the next five hours, they slept in turns as one of them had to drive the convoy.
“Now,” said the Joke after five hours had passed, “are you ready to be pranked?”
Big green hands with many smaller green hands blooming on them appeared in the wagons. “It’s tickling time!”
“Stop - hah - stop that”, said Heartilia, trying to hold back the painful laughter. “That’s not pranking, that’s bullying!” she said in one breath before she surrendered to the hands. She wasn’t sure if the Joke had heard her though, because of the loud noises coming from her father.
On the front wagon, Vreil and Sting put their plan in motion. Not that it was anything complicated, they just threw two pieces of cheese they had collected before at the Joke. For the Joke it was easy to dodge. If it wanted to, it could circle around the convoy twice before the cheese even arrived at his position. But it decided not to show its opponents the vanity of their efforts. It just moved slightly so the pieces of cheese would just pass by him, one to the right and one to the left.
If the Joke wasn’t so arrogant, it probably would have noticed the thin, almost transparent string of gum between the two pieces of cheese. If it hadn’t underestimated its opponents, it would have seen through their small plan. But the Joke only understood when its face, which was right in the middle of the space between the two pieces of cheese, touched the gum. At that moment, all the green tickling hands, all the cheese, gum, tomatoes and anything else the Joke had thrown at them disappeared, and they were all immediately teleported to the exit of the forest, where they found Sir Arnold sleeping under a tree, with three Wanka Wanka next to him.
Naturally, everyone was shocked at this sudden change. “It actually worked?” mumbled Sting.
“Congratulations!!!” the Joke yelled excitedly. “You are the second team to ever prank the Joke. You win this prank war.”
“I will tell you again, it’s not pranking, it’s bullying”, complained Heartilia, pouting.
“She’s right. A prank is a surprise, harmless attack, a one-time trick you use on someone”, said Vreil. “What you are doing is not pranking, just an attack that can’t injure. It can be called a challenge at best, not a prank.”
“We agree to disagree.”
“Wait”, said Linda. “There are rumors that there is a great treasure waiting for whomever can prank you. It’s true, isn’t it?”
The Joke stared at her, its smile smaller than usual. “Yes, it is true. However, that treasure is nothing like you think. And even if it was, it is not you who will be given the reward. It is the two young men over here, who first challenged me and then won.”
“But-“ Linda tried to say.
“Greed will do you no good, woman”, said the Joke, and suddenly it looked a bit scary. “Shut up.”
She shut up.
“So what’s the reward? The treasure?” asked Jeffrey.
“It is not money, as you may think. It is something of far greater significance. Knowledge.”
“Knowledge?” asked Vreil.
“Yes. The reward for beating me in a prank war is a few hours at the Joke’s training camp, where I will personally teach you about the world, and about magic. But after that, you will never be allowed to enter my forest again, which is why the Flood Bringer hasn’t woken up yet. He should be up a couple of hours after you leave this place.”
“Sorry, but I already have someone to teach me magic”, replied Vreil.
“Are you talking about Ashter?” the Joke asked and looked at the wagon Ashter was sleeping in.
“Yes, he is my teacher.”
“And who do you think taught him?” While Vreil was busy staring wide-eyed, the Joke continued. “I told you before that you are the second team to ever prank me. The first was a group of extraordinary people, including Ashter. Now come, and I will show you power greater than you could ever achieve.”
Vreil hesitated at first, but this offer was too good to pass up. “Okay. What about you, Sting?”