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014 - Burying A Child

Kaen stood next to Pammon, the small stone outcrop that his dragon found along the west side of the mountains. The wind blew, but the cold didn’t faze Kaen, who was wearing nothing more than a thin shirt.

In his arms was the body of his daughter he would only get to hold a few more moments as Pammon tore out pieces of the mountain, digging a place that would be the final resting place for the child he had longed to hold.

Unable to see her, Kaen let his finger brush the cold skin, feeling the tiny nose and small pair of lips. His heart ached as he wanted to cry and see her with his own eyes.

I will let you gaze upon her once I am done.

Kaen nodded, not replying but grateful that Pammon knew the pain in his heart. He could feel the sorrow in Pammon’s soul. Even though his dragon wouldn’t admit it, there was a pain inside him.

Kaen moved the rocks back into place as Pammon stood behind him, letting him use his eyes to see what he was doing. His dragon had placed one stone, asking to do that much before letting Kaen finish the task.

Once it was sealed as much as possible, Kaen stepped back, and Pammon moved up behind him.

He felt his friend's head next to him and put a hand out, slowly stroking the massive snout.

Say something… a prayer or whatever else you must. I can feel the words you long to say in your heart and mind.

Sniffing a few times, Kaen wiped his nose and nodded.

“Spirits watch over this little one… Let her play with my father, and may she smile when she sees Pammon, her mother, and me flying across the sky…” He stopped a moment, grateful for Pammon's presence, and took a deep breath before continuing. “May she know that we loved her before we ever held her and always will.”

Those words were beautiful. May I do one last thing for you and her?

Kaen turned and saw how he looked through his dragon’s eyes. He felt like he looked like a broken man.

“I would be honored.”

Climb on my back. I will show you. This is something I learned from Glynnis.

Kaen moved along his friend's neck to where he found Pammon’s leg bent for him to climb up. The same scales served as the ladder he climbed up and saw in his saddle.

Clip in?

Go ahead. I will wait till you are settled. We will do this next part together.

Confused at what Pammon wanted to do, Kaen fastened himself in and, when done, saw Pammon turn his attention to the small pile of rocks that covered the body of his child.

Use your lifestone. I know you hurt and don’t want to, but I need you to. Channel how you felt that day all those years ago when you realized your purpose. Let it burn through you and into me.

I… I don’t know if I can… my heart aches so much… my wife… she is waiting and I ne–

You need to do this. Do this now so that you do not lose yourself to grief. Remember, this feeling you have right now is what you want to protect others from. To not allow families to suffer the loss of each other. If you love your wife and the child you laid, you will honor them both by being the man they would want you to be.

Pammon’s words tore across Kaen’s soul like a knife across skin. It exposed him and hurt him so much, but it also removed the hard outer shell that Kaen had put up. It took a few breaths and focusing on what Pammon had said.

No more families hurt… no more families broken… to keep them together…

His lifestone began to burn, growing hotter yet not reaching the point Pammon wanted.

Remember how you felt when you thought Hess was going to die. Remember that moment. Let those feelings overtake you.

Goosebumps appeared all over Kaen’s body as he remembered that day. The moment Pammon had told him Hess was about to die and that he was going to have a daughter. In that moment, Kaen relieved all that pain and hurt, and those fears and a clear thread of why it had mattered so much swept over Kaen.

His lifestone surged, power flowing through him and making his body pulse with energy.

Yes! Give it to me! Let me have all of that!

Kaen grunted and put both hands on Pammon’s scales along his massive neck. He could no longer reach around his dragon’s neck, which had become so broad as he had grown. Sliding his hands along his friend's scales, Kaen embraced Pammon's neck as much as he could, letting each scale he felt along his skin act as a conduit for what he was about to do.

Face pressed against a scale, Kaen gave it all to his dragon. He felt the power leaving him, pouring through that connection.

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Heat began to rise inside Pammon, hotter than any other time Kaen had felt before. The very scales he was embracing felt like the heat of a forge.

Inside Pammon was a torrent of emotions and strength. Kaen could feel the sadness and hurt Pammon felt.

And then the power came from out of Pammon and through his mouth.

Seeing through his dragon’s eyes, Kaen watched as a flame so hot it was only blue a few yards past the tip of Pammon’s snout before it turned white and then almost vanished. It was still there, but Kaen could only see it because of how Pammon’s eyes saw everything.

Like an almost invisible focused stream of fire, it poured out and began to heat the rocks he had stacked over his daughter's grave.

Together, they watched the stone change color, turning a bright red, and then they started melting together. What seemed like forever was only a few moments, but everything changed as the rocks became one hot pile of material. Once they reached an almost white stage, Pammon cut off his flame and quickly moved forward, pushing his talon against those rocks, pressing down on them with all the force he could muster.

Pain surged through his dragon’s talon, and Kaen was about to cry out, but he heard Pammon say no, not through words but through their connection.

A hissing sound rose, and a few heartbeats later, Pammon pulled back his talon and looked at the stones, which were turning clear.

What is that?!

Dragon crystal is only capable of being made by a dragon with a rider. No other dragon can gather the power I just had without one like you pouring your strength into me.

Kaen watched through Pammon’s eyes, trying to ignore the pain he felt coming from Pammon as he poured his own life into his friend. The rocks began to suddenly go absolutely clear. There behind the rocks was the wrapped bundle of his daughter. None of the cloth was somehow burnt, only the rock and hole surrounding it.

How… why…

Words failed Kaen as he saw what his friend had done. Joy flooded him, and he squeezed his friend's neck.

Thank you. Someday soon, we will bring Ava when she is ready, and then she can witness firsthand the love you have for us.

Pammon snorted, and Kaen realized his dragon was crying.

I will do anything for you and your wife.

And I you.

Pammon turned his neck, focusing his wet, golden eyes on his rider, who sat on his body.

Then promise me to stop this path you have been on lately. Let go of the pain and hurt from the weight you force yourself to carry. Today, be free like your daughter's spirit. Be the boy who called out to me when I was a hatchling, and I swore my life to. You are a king. Act like one.

Unconsciously, Kaen sat up and grabbed his chest with his hand. It throbbed with pain and hurt as he realized just how bad he must have been for Pammon to speak to him like this. He chose this moment, knowing he could be open to hearing the truth.

You have my word. I will do everything I can to be the man worthy of calling you friend and Dragon Rider. Forgive me for being an eggling.

Pammon thrummed and moved his head forward, putting his nose into Kaen’s chest and then pulling back when he realized how hot it still was as he heard the searing of flesh.

Sorry, I did–

Kaen grabbed Pammon’s jaw and held him in place, letting the pain of his friend’s mouth stay there just a moment longer.

We both needed to feel this.

When Kaen let go, Pammon grinned, seeing how Kaen’s jaw had changed in just a moment. It was firm and set, committed to a path both knew they needed to take.

Let us return to our mates.

Amaranth had been upset and healed both of them but said nothing else once Pammon had told her what he had done. She looked at him differently as he moved to curl up around her, encircling her entire body with his massive one.

You are different… what changed up there?

Kaen has remembered what is required. He will no longer be the coward and fool he has been playing at for the last while. As of today, he will be the man this kingdom and land needs.

Pammon took his neck and gently wrapped his around hers, listening to her trill as his scales slid across the ones she had.

Tomorrow, we must leave, and you need to take care of Ava. He will tell her what must be done. You will need to be the wise one I know you are and guide her during these times. I am grateful that you and Glynnis both gave her a tooth.

Still trilling, Amaranth closed her eyes and let out a soft groan.

You are wiser than I give you credit for. Doing this with me, touching me like this, and then telling me you must go, all while also giving me a task that we both know only I can accomplish… Tell me where you are going to go.

We need to try and find Glynnis. It has been a while, and I had expected her to return. Now is not the time to be weak, which means we must either help her or ensure she is on her way back. While I am gone, I entrust you with what I hold most dear.

Amaranth shuffled slightly, her trilling stopping as she rotated her head to see Pammon’s golden eyes looking at her.

Some might be upset to hear that a human female is more important than anything else.

Pammon thrummed and squeezed his neck around hers a little tighter.

I did not say you were not important… you simply like to hear me say that you are.

Amaranth began to thrum slightly as her head moved up and down.

And yet you still have not said those words…

Snorting, Pammon growled slightly before releasing a blast of air from his nose.

If I didn’t know any better, Ava has been causing you to act more like a human. However…

Unraveling his neck from Amaranths, Pammon moved till his snout was just a few inches from hers.

Amaranth, you are important to me, and I am grateful every day that we were able to rescue you all those years ago. I look forward to hundreds of years spent with you by my side.

Pammon watched as her eyes changed color. They had begun to change since she got pregnant. Neither she nor Glynnis knew how or why, as there were very few stories told between dragons about one's eyes ever-changing.

The copper color they were becoming sparkled as she touched the tip of her snout to his.

And I look forward to many more flights with you across the sky. Now embrace me again and sleep. I can feel the exhaustion seeping through your bones.

Pammon winked as he encircled her neck again with his, and they laid their heads down next to each other on the stone floor.

Across the room, Kaen smiled as he held Ava. He could feel what Pammon felt at that moment.

Tomorrow would be a new day.