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011 - Consequences

The sleep that came was not restful, as Kaen repeatedly relieved his mistake. Most of the time, he died. Sometimes, Pammon died because of his choice.

When he woke up, covered in sweat, he immediately touched his face and felt a bandage over his eyes.

“Leave it alone,” Ava’s voice rang out. Father says it will help. For now, just trust the poultice and rest.”

You are safe. We are all here.

Pammon’s voice and the hand on his shoulder calmed the fear that Kaen felt rising inside him.

Use my eyes if you want. I can feel what you are feeling.

Letting his lifestone smolder, Kaen sighed as the black void of his vision was replaced with what Pammon saw. There on the stone floor, he was still lying, a small piece of cloth under his head and a thin blanket over his legs and torso.

Thank you. More than you might realize for this.

That is what I am here for. To continuously support you.

“I’m going to stand up,” Kaen announced, putting his hand on Ava’s. “I can see through Pammon’s eyes, and I need to see if I can figure out how to walk and move like this.”

“Are you sure?” Ava asked as she glanced at Pammon, who she saw nod.

“Yes, and you should know you look even more beautiful when seen through the eyes of a dragon. Every piece of hair that is out of place shows up–”

A fist came and punched him in the arm, and Kaen laughed, seeing it coming and letting it hit.

“Gah, you’re such an arse. See if I help when Pammon isn’t around.”

Grabbing the blanket, Kaen set it to the side and rolled over to his hands and knees.

His body felt weird as he tried to move based on what he saw through Pammon. It took a moment, but after a minute, he was able to stand and not keep rocking as he felt off balance from the view.

“You look like a toddler that has just learned to stand,” teased Ava.

Amaranth and Pammon thrummed, finding Ava’s comment funnier than Kaen's.

Nodding, he ignored them and turned to face Pammon. Seeing himself and how he looked almost made him shudder. His face had a few boils, and his beard was splotchy and missing some parts.

Touching his face slowly, Kaen could see Ava wince as he did.

“I had hoped you might realize–”

“How awful I look?”

She nodded, moving a step closer to him. “It’s all over. I lifted your armor slightly but didn’t try to remove it. Father said he was surprised at how well your body defended against the spell. We both believe it has to do with Pammon and your connection as well as your lifestone giving you resistance to it so quickly.”

“Help me take it off?”

She moved and helped him as Kaen struggled to undo the pieces. Standing still was hard enough, so he let Ava do most of the work.

Eventually, everything but his underwear was off.

His entire body was covered in boils and splotches. None of it hurt, yet the view of it made his stomach almost roll. Even though he was a mountain of muscle that reminded him of Hess years ago, Kaen felt like he looked like a monster.

You are fine. She does not care how you look. She is just grateful that you are alive, as am I.

But–

No buts, rejoice in the fact that you are alive and that it appears you will recover. Lord Hurem said that you will regain your eyesight at some point. He is certain. For now, you need to rest.

Ava moved up next to him, and Kaen saw her as she started to reach out to touch his arm.

Flinching, he moved, his directions backward, his arm slamming into her and sending her into the table before she fell to the ground.

As she landed on the stone floor with a thump and a cry, Kaen felt his legs weaken and fell to the ground near her.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

Ava nodded and brushed herself off. Kaen could see the wince she had made and saw her grab her stomach, holding it for a moment.

“It’s ok. We are ok," she said.

Realizing that he had just risked injuring Ava and their baby, Kaen backed away and began to sob. He let his lifestone stop burning and found comfort in the darkness.

You need to stop this!

Flinching, Kaen heard the voice echo in his mind.

A hand touched his shoulder, and it took everything he had not to pull away.

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“This is my fault! All this happened because I didn’t listen to Pammon and leave when I should have. I look like this because of–”

“Please stop, my love.” Ava’s voice was breaking, and he felt something wet against his skin. “I cannot bear to see you in this pain. I don’t care how you look. I care that you are alive. I care that our child has a father. Does Sulenda care that Hess doesn’t have an arm?”

“But I have to defend against–”

“You are not alone. This isn’t just your fight.” Ava’s voice had changed to the firm tone she used. “Stop thinking you have to do this alone. Stop believing that every time someone dies, it is your fault. Everyone in this kingdom is willing to lay down their life if it means others can live. You have done all you can, and it is time to stop believing you must do it alone.”

Her hand squeezed his shoulder, and he felt her moving around him. Even without his sight, he could sense her coming to kneel before him, a hand on each of his shoulders.

“We swore to love each other no matter what and to defend the other. Let me help defend you from yourself and the belief you seem to have that only you can win this battle.”

“But… Stioks is a –”

“A man… Just like you. A man who allowed himself to be foolish and overconfident and look at where it got you. He will make a mistake. He will get cocky, and when he does, we will make him pay. Together.”

Kaen nodded his head. It was true. Stioks and Juthom had made a mistake once, and they were almost able to end this war then. Surely, the man would make another. When he did, it would be the moment to act.

You are lucky I let you marry her. She is far wiser than you are.

Kaen began to laugh, smiling and bobbing his head.

“Pammon reminded me why he let you marry me. He said it was because you are much smarter than I am.”

“Of course I am,” replied Ava, her tone was now the matter-of-fact one she sometimes spoke in. “All women are smarter than men.”

Amaranth thrummed, and Kaen could hear Pammon groan.

“Now, if you don’t mind, let me help you to a chair so you can sit while I get you some food.”

Sitting there, letting Ava feed him some porridge, was more challenging than he imagined.

After about five bites, he tried doing it on his own, feeling the bowl against his lips and scooping it into his mouth with a spoon. Occasionally, Kaen felt some food fall against his chest or lap, but he didn’t care, ignoring how he must look.

“You know I don’t mind helping,” Ava said as she took the empty bowl from him.

“I know. It’s just… not knowing how long this may last, I need to try and do some things for myself.”

He couldn’t see Ava nod but felt Pammon agreeing with that statement.

“Fine, then I’ll leave some clothes here and return later. I must return to our place and get a few things together. Pammon can take me.”

Wanting to say something, Kaen bit his lip. The tone of her voice told him she wasn’t pleased with how he was handling this.

You look like an eggling trying to move after hatching… you are flopping–

“Please stop,” groaned Kaen as he lay on the ground, pulling up his pants. “I know it doesn’t look pretty, but I’m doing my best.”

I’m not making fun of you. I’m simply stating how you appear. I already offered to help guide you, but you made it clear how you feel about help.

Ignoring Amaranth’s statement, Kaen tied his drawstring with minimal issues, a lifetime of doing so, not requiring him to see it.

Reaching around slowly along the floor, Kaen began to feel for the shirt he had misplaced while trying to put his pants on.

A slight thrum came from the green dragon across the room.

After a few moments of no success, Kaen sighed. “Am I anywhere near it?”

No… go to your right, about four feet… more… more… now a little to the right… there.

Kaen felt the cloth shirt brush his outstretched fingers and grasped it quickly. He pulled it to himself and started to put it on, realizing it was on backward when the shirt was tight against his throat.

It is funny to believe you are the famous dragon rider who commanded the council to stand down, unable to–

Amaranth stopped talking when Kaen turned to face her.

He knew where she was, able to feel her presence somehow, and he glared.

“Do I need to command you to be quiet?” he asked, his voice expressing displeasure at how she was talking to him.

I shall refrain from further teasing. Forgive me. I thought since you and Pammon did it, we would be ok with a little fun.

Grunting, Kaen forced himself to take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“I’m sorry… I am on edge, and you do not deserve to be talked to like that. Forgive me.”

He heard her talons coming across the floor toward him, and a moment later, as he sat there on the ground, he felt her breath against him before her snout barely touched his forehead.

Forgive me. I should have been kinder to the one who freed me. Now sit still and let me see if I can assist with your injury.

The warm touch of her healing spread over him, and Kaen could feel it running through his body.

She focused it on his head, and it was like a gentle summer breeze blowing through his hair and over his face. It calmed him, taking some of his worry and angst as he felt the magic flowing through him.

Time seemed to stretch on as he sat there, enjoying the peace that came from whatever Amaranth was doing.

When it stopped, he felt a slight gust of air come from her nostrils.

Whatever that poultice is seems to be working. I can sense it doing something, but you still have at least a week before you may recover any sight at all. Your skin is also healing itself on its own. In a few days, I expect those boils to be gone.

“Doesn’t your magic heal them?”

No… those are different in some way. Elies had something like that, but it was a darker magic. A common thread exists between them, but both are resistant to healing. It is like… flying into a powerful storm. It is possible, but the time it takes to fight the wind may not be worth the effort. It would be best to wait it out and save your strength. You are stronger than Elies was. Your life stone is different.

Kaen nodded, knowing the truth of what she said.

Turning, he looked toward the entrance to the cave where they sat with both eggs.

“Pammon is returning.”

Yes, I can sense him too.

“He likes you.”

Kaen’s statement caught Amaranth off guard, and it sounded like she choked for a second before regaining her composure.

What has he said? What do you mean?!

Grinning, Kaen shook his head. “Just know he cares about you both. Even though he isn’t sure how to show that or tell you, be gentle with him. For so long, it was just him and me. He didn’t have another dragon to relate to. When Tharnok came along, it wasn’t a close relationship. Every day, he was trained to be a fighter. Now... now he is learning to love.”

The slightest trill came from Amaranth for a second before it went silent.

Only the sound of wind and her breathing could be heard for a minute.

Thank you. You surprise me every day. Somehow, you have given me hope even when I know you are missing yours.

Holding his hand out, Kaen waited. Amaranth moved forward, putting her snout against his hand.

Scratching it gently, Kaen nodded. “Family does that.”