“It's too bad.” Sigi sighed. “I'd been hoping for a fight, it's been so dull here.”

“A fight?” Astrid asked. “Why would you want for that?”

“To bury my jorunn in the skull of my enemies and see them broken before me.” Sigi boomer with laughter, very impressed with herself as always.

Tyr snorted. He knew better than anyone that Sigi had never killed a man, nor even cut one as far as he was aware. She trained in a controlled environment where the few knights that sparred with her usually wouldn't hit back, and if they did, the punch was always pulled. She was a princess... Hunting with a nobles detachment besides was far from really. They were still bright and naive to what the world was really like. Watching the light fade from a mans eyes as they bled out at your feet, all the sights and especially the smells.

“What?” She cast him a dirty look. “You've killed men. Tell me what's it like.”

He looked towards Alex, and despite her giving him the go ahead, he was initially reluctant. “It is what it is.”

“Oh come on, man. Tell us!”

“It might help, Tyr.” Iscari offered. “To get it off your chest, maybe. I'll listen to you.”

Tyr shrugged, hand on his saddle and relaxed. He'd prefer they not talk so much, but that's practically all they ever did, chirping like so many little birds. “Feels like spitting meat most times. Of course it's not so simple and flashy, clean cuts aren't so common. Everybody starts moving and its hard to land a blow so fast and neat that it doesn't make a mess. Muscles get carved off like kebab, hanging limp and loose. It's dirty, I guess I'd say. Smells awful, gets loud sometimes. People begging, screaming. Depends on the man. Some don't react to it for a while, for some the shock comes late and then they start really letting loose. Cut them until they get still, Tiber always puts one more in them just in case, or Fennic and Mikhail. Close their eyes and burn them like anything else. That smells, too. Lots of smells. It's not a joke or some novelty, I'll say that.”

“Watching it can be so fascinating. The human body is made up of so many muscle groups and all of this connective tissue constantly under tension. And when they die, right after death, it all goes limp, all at once. Sometimes they twitch a bit but it doesn't last long. Hard men become soft and almost... Like jelly, perhaps. All of the water in their body isn't so contained anymore. They get a lot heavier too, for some reason. I guess that's why they call it dead weight. All those flopping limbs waving all over the place when you're trying to carry them. I dunno, you'll find out eventually, it is what it is.”

Sigi was as pale as a sheet, listening him wax on about 'how strange' everything is in vivid detail. Alex's eyebrows were about as low as they could go and her upper lip was twitching. There was no need for him to look back at the others, he had a general idea of how the remaining two must be looking. Okami, as always, was happy just to be there.

Her answer would be a little more... Hands on. For whatever reason, Tyr's own must've not pleased her, or made the situation worse. He didn't know...

With air magic, she plucked one of the fat marsupials from the trees overhead and kept it still before her sister. It was a chubby thing, with bright eyes and soft scarlet fur. A pup, or a baby, whatever their young were called. Squirming impotently against her force, it mewled and whined in fear.

“Why would you do such a thing!” Sigi roared, face reddening immediately. She liked animals and always had, they all did but Sigi was the one who'd feed the horses and play with the hydra duck, whatever the hell that thing actually was. “Release it this instant!”

Tyr stared on impassively. Iscari and Astrid alike were frightened and alarmed at Alex's actions, staring at her with wide eyes full of concern.

“Kill it.” Alex spoke softly.

Sigi balked at the request, until Tyr's knife was pulled free from his belt by Alex and thrust handle first toward the woman. Sigi... So large, imposing, intimidating, all sorts of adjective for big and tough. But she was not a killer. No matter what her vain pride told her she was capable of, she just wasn't.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

“Kill it.” Alex repeated.

“I will do no such thing. How could you even suggest that? Look at it!” Helpless, there was no honor or challenge in killing a defenseless creature. Cute and fat and furry, just trying its best to prepare for the oncoming winter.

“I see.” Alex sighed, releasing the animal into the forest where it clambered back into the trees to join its family, fleeing through the branches to get as far away from her as possible. At this point, everyone was staring at her angrily, except for Tyr. “Calm yourselves, I did not hurt it, and I did not intend to see it harmed in the first place.”

Tyr wasn't entirely sure if he would've tried to stop her, whatever the case. He didn't want it to die, but if she did it he wasn't entirely sure how he'd feel. She paused, frowning before addressing Sigi directly.

“My father is an imperial arbiter. Do you know what that means?”

Sigi shook her head, shaking under her armor and a bit paler now. It had all been so violent and abrupt.

“Arbiters are the highest form of justice below the royal court and the primus himself. They hunt criminals, investigate corruption, and levy judgment when it's not pertinent to call on the regional court. Some call them executioners, but that's not quite true. As one responsible for keeping the peace, they operate at such a high level of authority because they know when to choose. I, in my naive precocious state of my childhood, was drawn by the lure of romantic tales of heroes and mages defeating villains.”

She cleared her throat, getting a far off look in her eyes. “I asked him, what's it like to kill a man? How many men had he killed, telling him that I couldn't wait to take over and have some fun of my own. We argued for a bit, with him insisting that I not ask or say such things. Of course, I was stubborn, too young to understand. He brought me to our stables. We had a foal there. A beast I still keep to this day, with a shiny coat as white as snow. I named it 'Little Tyr', because back then I... Well, things were different between us.”

Alex chuckled at that, looking over at the constant source of her ire. “He put a paring knife in my hand and told me to kill it. I didn't understand the lesson he was trying to teach me until many years later.”

She'd collapsed in a panic, begging her father not to do such a thing. Naturally, he'd had no intention of allowing her to kill it either. He was a good father – and kind. A just and fair man.

“My father, the arbiter of Riven, told me that it feels that way every time. And when it stops feeling like that, you know that something is terribly wrong with you. Killing happens, he said, it's unavoidable for people of great responsibility like us. It's important to never find enjoyment in a task as grim as that. A preference for the martial or magical, or any manner of challenge is fine – but killing should always be a burden. Or one day, you'll end up like him.” Throughout it all, her eyes had not left Tyr's own, despite the lesson obviously being aimed at Sigi. “No offense.”

No offense...? I'm not sure what killing a baby tree rat is like killing a man, but... Pretty ridiculous example, frankly.

Their conversation and all talk of killing stopped there. Tyr couldn't say much more on the topic, shrugging it off as he often did. In the confines of his own mind, he wondered if he was really that bad. If that's how normal people felt, he certainly couldn't relate. Was she right about him?

I don't think she's right, but I won't argue. Tyr was twisted up inside, but he didn't like to kill. He didn't feel a thirst to seek out death in normal circcumstances, to hurt but not always to end things surely. Only killing when necessary, but what he found necessary would be very different to most other people. He could smell the filth and he just... Had to. Sometimes.

Maybe at one time, he had liked it. He had changed. Matured and evolved under the teaching of his masters. Alex was wrong about him. She had to be. Or maybe she wasn't. Tyr normally felt pretty confused in most situations but it was significantly worse when they came around. They all walked with these preconceived notions and judgments, and certainly weren't afraid to let him know.

It was hard to tell. On one hand, he wanted her to be wrong, that was all, to like him perhaps. On the other, Alex was an incredibly intelligent and observant individual. Tacked onto the fact that he could 'pull the trigger' at even the slightest inkling that he thought it was right, he just didn't know. Fortunately, they weren't going anywhere where we walking to find any human opposition. So he should be in the clear for the foreseeable future.

And when he proved her wrong he'd rub it in her face for the rest of her life.