We ascended the stairs from the basement in awkward silence. Lacy was two steps ahead of me, and I found myself staring at the back of her head, wondering where it had all gone wrong. Was this Craig’s way of getting back at me? His final form of revenge? Had he infected Nikki, who in turn had infected Lacy? If so, who else was infected? Just the women in my life? Or the whole party? What about everyone else that had been in close proximity with Nikki on the cliffs of the First Floor? I couldn’t exactly go around casting [Analysis] on everybody, but I also didn’t know the extent of the contagion. As soon as we got back to Personal Space, I intended to get to the bottom of this.
I desperately wanted to cast [Analysis] on Lacy right now—and I might have a week ago. But I knew from experience the sensation was unpleasant, and even if I confirmed that she was under some sort of mind-controlling spell, would I be able to show her definitive proof? Even if I could, would she believe me? Would she care? How deep did the infection go? Was it like the earlier compulsion on Nikki, something that could be snapped with the right leverage? If this was the same spell that had caused the bastards in the earlier redos to throw rocks down on those climbing up the cliffs, then its effect was powerful. I had seen the affected break out of its hold. But was it a matter of simple logic, or did they need to be pushed beyond the point of their comfort level? Too many questions, no answers.
As we ascended the dungeon stairs, I pulled up my Status Sheet to distract myself.
Unallocated Stat Points: 375
Sitting there was a powerful reminder of how far I’d come, all of my unallocated stat points just begging to be used. 375 points all told. It was a game-changing number of stat points. I was tempted to put a chunk of them into Charisma—more than tempted. My mental finger hovered over those points, an itch at the back of my mind. This was the stat-less run, I reminded myself. But the aura of cold indifference exuding from Lacy brought me back to those first couple of hours when the Apocalypse first kicked off. That feeling of loneliness, having no allies, no friends, nothing to live for or care about except myself. A small part of me wondered if I’d prefer things that way.
But I knew I was lying to myself.
These last redos in the tower had given me new life. I had enjoyed being looked at as a hero, though I hadn’t admitted that to myself until this very moment. Saving people made me feel good, made me feel like I belonged. Lacy had consistently been my biggest ally and the person that I had bonded with the most, along with Athena and Lex. The pain of that loss, even if it was temporary, lit a fire in my chest. It galled me that Craig’s revenge had been so effective. He had targeted Nikki, banking on crippling me by taking her from me for the second time. And I did care for Nikki, and it did hurt that she had shunned me in this redo. But I’d also come to realize that we had grown apart. We were different people after ten years. Surprisingly, I found Lacy’s words cut me far deeper.
But I also wasn’t going to chase after her. If she did have some sort of mind-controlling effect or compulsion from Craig, pushing the issue wouldn’t accomplish anything. I had to remember that it had only been an hour or so since the tower had opened. She didn’t have any of the context for our previous interactions to help offset the effect of Craig’s magic. But I had some ideas on how to fix that. I just needed to keep calm until the right moment. So, I forced myself back into that cool, placid, I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude that had served me so well over the past decade.
When we climbed the stairs leading out of the stronghold dungeon and onto the main floor, we came across Mileen and Murn, standing over two bound Beasts. They gave us a polite nod, but I could tell they were on guard. No doubt they had seen the same notifications that we had seen. I gave them a friendly wave and said, “Don’t worry, we ironed things out with Hiko. We’ll see you guys on the Second Floor.” Mileen nodded, Murn grunted, and I headed for the front entrance of the stronghold.
I felt, rather than saw, Lacy hesitate behind me, then heard her jog to catch up. We continued out of the stronghold’s front gate in silence, and I led us through the alleyways back to the red portal at the center of the Hold. When we got there, I pulled out the First Floor Skeleton Key and keyed it to my Personal Space. I knew this was easier than trekking all the way to the stairway portal.
But as I stood there, staring at that red portal that would take me back to my Personal Space and back to Lex, Athena, and the rest of my party, I found my feet frozen to the cobblestone. The last few minutes with Lacy were like a popcorn kernel stuck in between my teeth. My mind just kept tonguing at it, trying to dislodge it, finding that I couldn’t think about anything else until it was knocked loose.
“We good to go?” Lacy asked by my side. I didn’t answer her. As I continued to stare at that red portal, almost unconsciously, I began to cycle my Fate energy, pulling it from my core, replacing the Friction energy that I tended to cycle by default. A tingling filled my limbs, and my vision shifted in a subtle way that I usually didn’t notice unless I was actively using it to fight someone like Astrid.
With the Fate energy coursing through my veins, I turned towards Lacy. “No,” I said softly, “everything’s not good.”
She sighed, looking away. “Can we just let this go?” She was looking off to the side, but I was staring directly into her face, trying to understand the tendrils of Fate that were wrapping around her. Faint afterimages of her potential movements filled my eyes, but that wasn’t what I was interested in. I knew this Fate energy could be used for more, but I had been underutilizing it. It always felt like there just wasn’t enough time to experiment, test the limits, explore what it could do and what it could show me. I realized now that that was an excuse. I think maybe I was afraid of what it would show me, afraid of what I would see, what I would learn about the people around me.
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Fate herself had used this energy to show me Nikki’s brutal murder at Craig’s hands. And though I was thankful to know so that I was able to prevent it in the final run, at the same time, I couldn’t help but think that there were better ways, less cruel ways, to give me that information. Fate had shown that she could pretty much damn well do what she wanted. The only reason to show me that vision from Craig’s point of view was to torture me. And so I had found myself shying away from using it, from exploring it, from pushing the limits of what it could do.
But now, standing here, looking into Lacy’s indifferent eyes, I knew I had to tap back into that energy. I had used it for this purpose once before, almost unconsciously. It had come naturally, as if Fate herself were prompting me. When I had confronted Neeka in the last redo, I had been able to show her husband, Ganto, an image from a past redo of her brutally stabbing him. It was only in this moment I wondered, why hadn’t I used my Fate energy to share more memories? Sure, it was tedious, and generally my party had come to believe me when I explained the nature of the redos. But there was no substitute for showing them the real thing. And this was the final run and there was no undoing this. If I screwed things up with Lacy, or any of the others now, it was permanent.
And yet, even as she looked into my eyes with a blend of confusion and annoyance, I prepared the memories that we had shared, condensed them into a form I hoped the Fate energy would be able to translate, and I spared nothing. The sight of her half-naked corpse deep in the tunnels; the image of the two skinheads dragging her away, even as I skewered them with my katana; that sudden, beautiful moment when she had pulled me around and pressed her lips to mine. I felt it in the memory, my own shock, the pleasant warmth of her lips, her small body pressed against mine. It was all there in that little tendril of Fate as I pushed it towards her.
As soon as it touched her, I saw her body stiffen, her eyes go wide. A small sound escaped her lips, almost like a pained gasp. I nearly broke the connection there, the memory half-delivered, but I found my focus and continued to push, and push, and push. I saw in her face the memories being replayed. Her lips parted, moisture forming in her eyes. No tears followed, but a moment later, the series of memories ended, and I let the connection break. She looked up at me, her face a confusing mix of emotions. I was afraid to speak, worried that it hadn’t worked. Not the memory transfer—that I knew had worked—but rather, I was worried it hadn’t been enough. It hadn’t been enough to break Craig’s spell. Hadn’t been enough to remind her of the bond that we had formed over the past week.
Moments passed, and still she said nothing. My stomach flipped. “I’m sorry, Lacy,” I started to say, “I shouldn’t have—” She cut me off, throwing herself into me, wrapping her arms tight around my back. She shook against me, a silent sob wracking her body. Unconsciously, I found myself stroking her hair, shushing her. “It’s okay,” I said softly, “don’t cry, you don’t need to cry, it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay.” Her voice was tight, clipped. I felt moisture forming on my shirt where she had nestled her face. “Dirk, I’m... I’m...” she stuttered, her voice breaking. “I don’t know what happened. I’m so sorry.” I held her tight, saying nothing, continuing to brush her hair with my hand.
I basked in the moment, feeling the comfort of her weight against my body. It struck me then how incredibly poignant it was to have connections, friends, people you respected and that respected you. In those few minutes, when I felt that Lacy hated me, I had been transported back to that terrible time after I had murdered Nikki’s father. Over the years, I had hardened my heart to deal with the pain and the loss, and somehow, in a matter of days that felt like years, I had opened myself up again. Not to the same extent, but just enough so that I could be hurt again. And it had happened so damn fast. And it had been so damn hard. But it also confirmed one thing for me that I had never had an answer for before now. It confirmed for me that I would never replace this with a lifetime of solitude and a closed heart. It was a painful lesson. I was only thankful it had lasted ten minutes instead of another ten years.
My Fate energy continued to cycle through me, and I felt that telltale pins and needles sensation on the back of my neck. My head shot up, all thoughts of warmth and companionship overridden by that animal instinct of self-preservation. A hundred feet away, and closing fast, were three familiar aliens. They were the Champions of Order, the counterparts to Astrid and her faction.
Lacy felt my body tense and pulled away. “What is it, Dirk?” she asked, looking up at me.
I didn’t respond, as I pulled my diskslinger from my Inventory. I had foolishly forgotten to reload it after killing Astrid and was forced to waste precious seconds dumping energy into the three slots. “Get to the portal,” I said, pushing her gently towards the dais behind us. She followed my eyes and saw the approaching Champions as they ran towards us.
“Aren’t you coming?” she asked, desperately pulling on my arm. There was a fire burning in my chest, expanding outward, consuming all the doubt and hesitation in my body. My instinct was to swap cores, begin cycling my Mass energy to give my stats a much-needed boost. But something about this feeling coursing through me now made me continue to cycle the Fate energy. It steadied my hand, firmed my resolve, showed me what to do, and what not to do. And in none of the scenarios did it show me running away. And for once, my own desires aligned perfectly with that of Fate’s.
“I’m done running, Lacy,” I said. “Go. I’ll be right behind you.” I pushed her away gently, then focused my attention fully on the three charging aliens and the Fate energy coursing through my body. A wave of afterimages flowed across the boulevard, filling my vision. The diskslinger was fully primed, all three disks buzzing noisily in their slots. My instinct would have been to fire them off immediately to begin refilling the weapon.
But Fate indicated otherwise.
Holding the weapon up with a straight arm, I leveled it at the approaching Champions. And they slowed their run, stopping less than fifty feet from me. The alien in the lead was that same alien that I had seen my first time in the hold. He looked much like Kurian with blue skin and horns on his head. But just a normal size, instead of Kurian’s 15 feet plus.
I faced off with the three aliens, like I was in a magical gunslinger showdown. I kept my weapon leveled at them, dividing my attention among Fate’s afterimages and the three aliens squaring off against me. Without looking, I knew Lacy had rushed into the portal. I didn’t feel any sense of abandonment or resentment. It was the right thing to do. It was what I had asked her to do. And after her encounter with Astrid, I couldn’t blame her. No, this was a fight I wanted. This was a fight Fate was telling me to accept. And my arm was rock steady as I aimed the diskslinger at them.
“Your move,” I called across the empty boulevard.