I let Lex off the hook, noting Byron’s unconscious body and the ticking clock of Craig’s arrival. Mama G saw him too and rushed over.

“Boy? You okay?” She whirled on me, accusation in her eyes. As she stomped toward me—all five-foot-three of her—I had to stop myself from taking a step back.

Give me a pissed off Yuri any day of the week.

“What did you do!”

Lacy intercepted her charge, placating her with hands up. “He’ll be fine, Mama. Going through the same thing I did when I picked that Boon. Hour or two and he’ll be more powerful than ever.”

The corner of her lip lifted in a snarl, her eyes boring into me over Lacy’s shoulder. I let Red slide up to hide my face as I rolled my eyes.

Lacy physically turned her away from me, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

“C’mon, Mama, let’s get you your Boon.”

While Lacy led her away, I pulled up my Inventory to finally examine the changes Leph made to Red.

[Red, aka the Crimson Cape of Mass Slaughter] [Progenitor’s Mantle] [Unique] [Heirloom Item]

Dirk’s better half, personal designation: Red. This sentient piece of clothing fancies itself the brains, brawn, and beauty of this dynamic duo. Enjoys full moons and a thin coating of her enemy’s blood stroked evenly across her surface. For more info, see the attached bio. But first, a poem composed by our very own Red, the Crimson Cape of Mass Slaughter:

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Blood is nature’s lubricant,

And I’m about to fuck you—

I took a moment to minimize the item description to give Red a serious look.

“Are you fucking kidding?” I muttered. A a lewd image of Red and a very-dead Kneer came back in response, and I immediately scrubbed it from every recess of my mind. “Add necrophilia to the list for my deranged cape,” I added with a shake of my head.

I skipped past a very long bio of things that I didn’t even want to know—I had to sleep next to this psycho, after all. Past the section about preferred forms of executing enemies and a second poem—in haiku form—that seemed to be romanticizing the smell of a specific type of smoke only made from the burning of corpses, was the meat of the changes Leph had made.

Rank: 1

Experience: 72,398/100,000

Traits:

Only a Matter of Time I

You Think Your Shit Don’t Stink I (Same Race)

Your Shit Really Don’t Stink I

Your Shit Really Don’t Stink II

Your Shit Really Don’t Stink III

Keen Eye II

Sound of Mind II

(New) Two Psychos, One Ability

Abilities:

[Analysis II]

(New) [Morph II (Item)]

Status: Equipped (Soulbound)

Bearer: Dirk Damascus, Prime of Earth (Race rank: #1 — Co-Integrated Rank: #76 —> #1)

I pulled up the new trait and ability.

Two Psychos, One Ability: You’ve created a connection with another sentient being strong enough to facilitate a shared ability. Let’s hope you remain on the same page for eternity. Who knows what would happen if your interests ever diverged. +20 Intelligence.

Morph II (Item)

This ability allows the user to adjust the shape of the associated item via mental feedback. Rigidity and strength can be modified to solidify the shape of the item. Higher ranks of this ability increase speed of change and maximum rigidity.

System Note: This ability has been modified by a Higher Power. The associated item has the awareness and capability to activate this ability without the bearer’s intervention.

Despite the frankly deranged item description, I was really pleased with the upgrade to Red. The cape had a lot of surface material to work with and I was already envisioning different forms she could take to up my offensive and defensive capabilities.

But now wasn’t the time to test out the changes, so I turned my attention back to the others.

Jerome had selected the Weapon Boon and was holding a floating, metallic device that looked a bit like a floating drone—but without any visible rotors. It didn’t look very impressive, but I knew looks could be deceiving when it came to Heirloom items.

I mean, Mileen was running around with a pair of Goddamn chopsticks, straight stabbing dudes in the neck like a ninja caught mid meal.

“Get anything good?” I called over to Jerome.

In typical Jerome fashion, he grunted in reply. Before I could ask for a bit more elaboration, he threw the flying sphere at Amos. The Aussie cringed and held his hands up over his face, but the object stopped a foot in front of him and entered a sort of orbital pattern, lazily circling around his head.

When nothing collided with his face, he peered between his hands and watched the sphere circling around him.

“Huh?” He reached up to poke at it, but it didn’t react.

“Throw somethin’ at him,” Jerome said to me.

I raised an eyebrow in surprise. But I also couldn’t resist the opportunity to chuck something at Amos.

“Mate, what you—”

His eyes went wide, but before he could react, one of my baseballs was flying toward his face. It wasn’t the hardest pitch I’d ever thrown, but it wasn’t the softest neither.

A metallic clang echoed as the flying sphere zipped to intercept the baseball.

“Ohhh,” I said in pleasant surprise. “That’s fucking neat!”

“Oi! Ye feckin’ cunt! Don’t be throwin—”

He cut off as I launched four more baseballs in quick succession. There was a change-up, two fastballs, and a Friction-enhanced curveball in the mix. All were met head on by the sphere, with four resounding clanks quickly following. Jerome beckoned with his hand, and the sphere flew back over and began circling him.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

I looked at Jerome and nodded appreciatively. “That’s cool as hell. Can it do that with bullets, too?”

Before he could answer, Amos threw his hands in the air, a big, shit-eating grin on his face. “That was feckin’ awesome! I’m invincible—wait, put that thing back on me—”

The sphere began making a high-pitched whirring sound, a small pinprick of light emitting from its center point.

“Mate, your ball-thingy don’t look right—”

A pulse of light ripped from the sphere, lasering in on Amos’ chest.

“Oof!”

He was knocked back on his butt, a small burn mark in the middle of his shirt.

I looked at Jerome who had a slight smirk on his face. “The fuck?”

“Absorbs attacks,” he replied. “Can shoot part of the energy out. Minute cooldown for now.”

Amos was rubbing at his chest, a grimace on his face. “Oi, feck ye shoot it at me for?” He jerked his hand up and down and aimed it at me. “Send it to the wanker next time.”

I chuckled and was about to quip something back, when I noticed Frank staring off in the direction of the red thread he had been following earlier.

“You good, Frank?”

He glanced at me, then went back to examining the thread.

“Approaching fast,” he said quietly. “Probably a minute or two.”

“Shit. Okay, enough grab ass. Let’s grab our Boons and get ready. We can wipe this fucker off the board right here and now. Take a whole load off our shoulders.”

Amos continued complaining—quietly—as he stood up. Jerome’s sphere was circling him as he moved to face the direction Frank indicated. Byron was still unconscious, so I picked him up and slid him through the still-active portal. Lex was over with Lacy and Mama G, and a quick glance told me that something was wrong.

Mama G’s expression was a dark cloud, while Lacy was speaking with animated body language. I wasn’t exactly the best option to mediate the two, but I went over anyway. Time was short and they needed a prodding.

“Hey guys, we need to put on our game faces. That fucker, Craig, is only minutes—”

I cut off as Lacy’s words reached me.

“—this sanctimonious bullshit!” she whispered aggressively. “We’re fighting for our—”

“Enough!” Mama G shouted. “I ain’t worshiping no pagan god for no boon. Was doin’ just fine back in my kitchen ‘fore you dragged me out here!”

“Then go back to your kitchen!” Lacy shouted, her voice rising. “Why the fuck should you care if humanity is on the verge of extinction? Maybe your God will get off his ass and intervene, hm? Then all of your self-righteous non-action would be vindicated.”

Lex opened his beak to interject, and I already knew he was forming a rebuttal concerning the existence of God—which was the last fucking thing this conversation needed.

My presence wasn’t much better, but it was a hair above openly shitting on Mama G’s beliefs.

“Guys,” I said, holding my hands up in a placating gesture as I joined them. “This isn’t the time for this conversation. We’ve got at least one bad guy on a crash course for our position. And knowing him, he’s probably got some friends with him.”

Lacy’s anger drained away. “Craig?” Her voice was barely above a whisper, a sharp contrast to her recent yelling. She was scared and I didn’t blame her.

Mama G narrowed her eyes. “That nice young man from yesterday?” I opened my mouth to reply, but she waved away my attempt. “I know what you said, boy. He’s a bad guy.” She crossed her arms defiantly. “S’pose to believe you, am I? He seemed charming—”

I saw it coming, almost as if in slow motion. But my brain was too shocked to react.

Lacy’s left hook came in like a heavyweight boxer, smashing into Mama G’s nose with an audible crack. The older lady went down hard, her eyes rolling into the back of her head.

By the time my brain caught up to what happened, Lacy was standing over Mama, her eyes wide as she bent over to check on the woman.

“Lacy, what the fuck?” I rushed over to check Mama G’s pulse. After confirming she was alive, I looked up to see Lacy backing away in shock, like she hadn’t realized what she had done. “We’ve all wanted to hit Mama one time or another. But you coulda pulled your punch just a bit—she’s gotta be sixty.”

“It’s my Strength,” she said in a rush. “I forgot I put points into it! It’s at 43!”

That wasn’t much by my standards, but I had to assume Mama G had just her base Endurance. I hadn’t ever scanned the older woman, but it couldn’t have been more than 15.

It was Jerome’s turn to rush over and I immediately had a sense that he had misinterpreted the situation. As the sounds of his thudding footsteps echoed on the pavers, I bumped up my mass and braced.

Sure enough, his armor-clad boot came flying in toward my face. I ate the blow for two reasons. One, because I knew I could tank it with maxed-out Endurance and Strength. And two, I didn’t want to get into a fistfight with Jerome right before a face off with Craig.

His foot smashed against my ear, and stats or not, it fucking stung. My ear was ringing as I backed away, ready to defuse the situation. But before I could say anything, Lacy intercepted him.

“Jerome, back the fuck off, okay? It was me that hit her.”

His helmet was in place, blocking his face. But if I had to imagine, I would say his jaw was on the floor.

“You?” he asked. Even through the helmet, I could hear the surprise in his voice. “Why?”

I rubbed at my ear and stayed out of the way. Jerome would forgive Lacy easily. Me? He’d been looking for a reason to kick things off.

Lacy’s skin was flush and she was chewing her lip. She seemed both embarrassed and ready to defend herself. And to be honest, after the initial shock had worn off, I was silently cheering her on.

Mama G could be a real bitch.

“She wouldn’t grab a Boon and she was defending that mind-controlling dickhead and I…I just snapped!” She whirled away, turning her back on us. “You don’t know what it’s like…not being able to trust your own thoughts. It’s…the most terrifying thing that’s ever happened to me—”

Mama G groaned on the ground and both Lacy and Jerome rushed to help her into a sitting position.

“Jerome, honey? Wha-What happened?”

Jerome’s helmet disappeared into his Inventory and he cast Lacy a confusing look. After a moment of awkward silence, Lacy sighed.

“I’m sorry, Mama. I-I hit you.”

Mama G’s eyes went big, then narrowed accusingly. She opened her mouth to speak, when Frank ran over in a panic.

“He’s here!”

My skin suddenly grew hot and I felt Red begin to shift across my body. My diskslinger popped into my hand, while Red formed a katana in my other. The adrenaline from Jerome’s sneak attack had nothing on the pure chemical high rushing through my body now.

This was it. This was our chance to end this fucker once and for all!

“Everyone, listen up.” Amos walked over, completing the party—minus Byron. “Whatever you think about Craig, he’s absolutely a piece of shit that deserves to die. We know for a fact that he can mind control people—seen the effects with Nikki. And Lacy felt some of it earlier today.”

“Feck we talkin’ for?” Amos asked. “Portal’s right there.”

I shook my head. “I’m not running. He’s only gonna get stronger, fuck with more people’s minds. I aim to take him out here and now.” I scanned the group, noting Mama G still on the ground. “But we’ve got wounded. I won’t hold it against you if you wanna—”

“Fuck that.” Lacy came up beside me and a haze began to form in my vision. I recognized her illusion ability taking hold around us. “I’m with you, Dirk.”

Jerome helped Mama G stand, then looked at me with a serious expression. He grunted once, then said, “Needs doing.”

I nodded and turned to Frank, who was absentmindedly examining threads with his Karmic Sight. When he noticed me watching, he said, “I’m in. These threads feel dirty.”

When I turned to Amos, he had a flask to his lips, taking a deep pull.

“Needta be way more shitfaced for this bullshit.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he’d never be shitfaced again. When I looked toward Mama G, one of her eyes was swelling and I imagined a concussion was setting in.

“Let’s get Mama into the portal with Byron, then we’ll ambush the fucker using Lacy’s illusion spells.”

Thankfully, Mama didn’t complain as Jerome helped her through the portal. He came back a moment later, his helmet back in place.

“Illusions set,” Lacy said with a look of concentration. “Can’t wait to fuck this guy up—”

“He’s here,” Frank said suddenly. He looked at me with wide eyes. “Thi-This is ba-bad!”

“What is it?” I asked. Then I saw them round the corner and my stomach dropped.

My eye was immediately drawn to a beacon of yellow-gold hair that could only be Craig. And he wasn’t alone.

Standing next to him, shoulder-to-shoulder, was Kneer. And at their back marched hundreds of Jree.

“Can’t feckin’ fight that,” Amos muttered, backing away toward the portal.

Lacy was at my side, her hand on my arm. “What do we do?” she whispered.

My mind was racing. There was no way to fight that many Jree—not without potentially taking losses—but there was still a chance we could strike at Craig. The real question was if he had his hooks in Kneer or if they had simply come to terms the way Umndirop and I had.

As much as I loved the idea of taking out my two biggest threats in an epic showdown, I had to be smarter than that. There were no redos and we were down one team member—not counting Mama G for obvious reasons. On top of that, we didn’t have the foresight to grab the [Heaven’s Delight] from her before she went through the portal.

I held up my diskslinger. “You keep the illusion tight. I’m gonna angle off and see if I can’t snipe that fucker.” I started to go, but paused. “Stay close to the portal. I should draw his attention, but I want you guys ready to leave in a hurry.”

She nodded, closing her eyes in concentration. I felt her power still encompassing me as I went to flank the coming army. Even as I broke out of her spell, I could still see them and knew that she was keeping both me and the party invisible to the coming Jree.

Rushing to the edge of the plaza, I scanned for the best vantage on Craig and Kneer. There was a rooftop overlooking them where I could fire my disks and run. I climbed the nearest building and started hoping rooftops toward the spot.

I kept my eyes locked on Craig, forcing my mind to stay locked into that focused state. If I let my hatred for him come to the surface, I’d just end up getting myself or the team killed. Best to just fire off the disks and—

“You can’t hide from me!” Craig suddenly shouted, his voice carrying over the now-emptied plaza.

At first, I thought he was talking to me—had spotted me somehow. But in the distance, I saw Frank start waving and shouting something frantically. I strained with my enhanced Perception to pick up his words.

“—threads incoming! Get to the port—”

Before he could finish his sentence, a pigeon dived at his face without warning. I nearly missed the jump between rooftops from the shock of seeing one of Amos’ pigeons attack Frank. Another swooped in a moment later, but Lex intercepted it with an echoing honk.

Lacy was clutching her head, while Jerome looked around in surprise. Frank was protecting his face from any more pigeon attacks while Lex had circled high, ready to dive on the little flying rats.

I urgently sent Lex an image of them filing into the portal.

“HONK!”

Pigeons were swarming him now and I felt his panic rising.

I knew I was too far away to help, too far away to force them into the portal. There was only one thing I could do to buy them the time they needed to shake Craig’s influence.

Turning toward the army of Jree, I fired three disks straight for Craig. They launched with an echoing buzz, drawing the eyes of Craig, Kneer, and his army. But the disks were made of pure Friction energy, boosted to the level of an Adept by the weapon’s trait. They moved through the air with speed and a sense of inevitability.

His eyes went wide and I felt a smug sense of accomplishment, knowing that this was the end of the Craig saga.

I turned to flee back over the rooftops and back to my party, when the nearby Jree moved as one.

My feet faltered as a dozen Jree leapt in front of Craig, intercepting the three disks with their bodies. Not even shields or a weapon—they literally threw themselves to their death in front of the man. The spinning disks chewed through flesh and armor, each passing through three or four Jree before losing their momentum. I was too stunned to even react as Craig turned to look directly at me with a lopsided smirk.

“There you are.”