======+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++======

CHAPTER SIX

======+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++======

Jenn's face flamed even as she still felt the unadulterated need coursing through her body. Absently she tried to remember the last time she'd wanted to be intimate with someone, and she truly couldn't recall. It had never been like that, she'd never been satisfied and it had always seemed like a colossal waste of time, and yet...

Cautiously, she met Karl's eyes, shame warring with some sort of wild, desperate hope. He'd stayed.

Either he didn't know about the dream, or maybe he-

She shut that down before the thought could even get off the ground. At best, she'd only made him profoundly uncomfortable. She was a wreck, they'd just met, and he hadn't been thrilled that she was here to begin with. This was definitely unrequited, that she was sure of.

Licking her lips, her heart still beating quickly, she looked at him with wide eyes, close enough that if she just leaned forward a little bit, if he just leaned in too...

She held perfectly still, unsure of how to proceed, terrified of ruining everything with one wrong move.

He studied her face, searching for clues as to how she might be feeling. The way her lips parted, the flush creeping up her neck, the desperation in her wide, hopeful eyes—they all spoke of an awakening desire, one he had unwittingly sparked.

Yet, he maintained his distance, unwilling to let this newfound intimacy overwhelm either of them. Instead, he focused on soothing her ragged breaths and calming her pounding heart, even though his own raced at a similar pace.

“You're safe,” he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper. “Just a dream.”

Her eyes darkened slightly at his words.

'Just a dream indeed.' she thought wryly, noting the slight flush to his cheeks.

He must know, then. She felt mortified, but also...

She held back a groan of disappointment at herself as she felt another pulse between her legs. Him knowing about the dream was doing something else besides embarrassing her, and her cheeks darkened a little more.

Still, he didn't seem particularly interested, not in the way she would have hoped, and she caught her bottom lip between her teeth, averting her eyes.

“I-”

She realized she was still clutching his shirt, and her heart dropped. Of course he hadn't left - she hadn't let him. She'd held him there and forced him to watch as she-

'Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Maybe I'll go live in the woods.' she thought helplessly. Her eyes darted to him again, remorse and worry clouding them as she let go, drawing her hands back and holding them against her chest as she sat up quickly.

“I'm so sorry,” she finally got out, horrified that he'd want nothing to do with her now. Was unconsciously holding someone and making them watch you have a sex dream about them technically assault?

Maybe he didn't know it was about him?

Karl felt a twinge of guilt at her distress. It wasn't fair to let her assume he was disgusted or repulsed by her dream. If anything, his reaction had been the complete opposite.

“No,” he said softly, gently shaking his head as he sat up fully. “Don't apologize, Jenn.”

His eyes roamed her face, taking in the mixture of embarrassment and confusion written across her features. He wanted to reach out, to wipe away the worry etched in the lines of her brow but hesitated.

They'd already crossed so many boundaries...

“Your dreams aren't something to be ashamed of,” he continued quietly. “They're...a normal response to the stress and uncertainty you've faced recently. Probably your medication, too.”

Even as he spoke the words, he wondered if they sounded hollow to her ears. Hadn't he felt his own body react in kind, betraying his true feelings?

“But maybe we should focus on getting you more comfortable?” he suggested, offering a small smile.

“I can bring you some water if you'd like, or-”

Karl trailed off, realizing he was rambling. His mind raced with possibilities, each one more dangerous than the last. He needed to maintain his composure, to avoid giving in to the temptation of her presence.

She swallowed hard, cheeks still stained pink from both her embarrassment and the lingering dream.

“Karl...” she breathed, looking into his eyes, searching. She'd been attracted to him nearly straight away, something she hadn't quite realized at first, as it had been so long since she'd felt that draw of another person. And now that she knew, the realization was heady and powerful. She'd thought there was something wrong with her, but at this moment she was certain - everything with Karl would be right. The way it was supposed to be. He wouldn't hurt her. With him, it would feel the way it was meant to feel.

She wanted to tell him that her dream wasn't a stress response; it was a response to feeling safe, cared for, and protected, a response to having someone she trusted and was attracted to near her, touching her, his scent surrounding her.

She wanted to tell him that if he didn't kiss her now, she may burn away until there was nothing left of her but ash.

But she couldn't speak, so she just continued to look into his eyes, hoping he could see the words she couldn't get out reflected there.

Karl's breath hitched as he looked into her eyes, seeing a mirror image of his own deep longing. At that moment, the barriers between them seemed to crumble, leaving behind nothing but raw, unbridled emotion. His hand lifted slowly, tentatively, as if moving through treacle, and brushed a few strands of hair away from her face.

“Jenn...”

The name slipped from his lips like a prayer, like a promise. The tension stretched thin, fragile as glass, and Karl knew one wrong move could shatter it entirely. But he didn't care anymore. All that mattered was closing the gap between them, feeling her skin against his, tasting the sweetness of her lips.

So he did. Leaning in, his heart pounding in anticipation, he closed the remaining distance, capturing her mouth in a kiss that sent sparks shooting up his spine. For the first time that he could remember,

Karl allowed himself to fully embrace these newfound feelings, letting them consume him whole.

Jenn gasped against his lips, eyes fluttering closed as one hand tangled in his hair, the other resting on the back of his neck. The kiss in her dream paled in comparison to the real thing, and her lips parted against his, head tilting slightly to deepen the contact as her tongue flicked against his bottom lip. She felt the rasp of his facial hair against her cheeks and chin, and she longed to feel the gentle scratch of it everywhere.

The heat in her body was reignited by the press of his mouth against hers. She whimpered into the kiss, a rough and needy whine that would have embarrassed her if she'd had the faculties left to feel anything else besides the heat he was building within her with each touch of his lips against her own.

Karl's blood sang in his veins as Jenn responded so passionately. The rough texture of her nails scraping against his scalp sent a shiver down his spine, igniting a fire deep in his gut. He wanted more - to taste the depths of her mouth, to explore every inch of her trembling form.

But even as desire consumed him, a part of Karl hesitated. This was happening too fast; he hardly knew this woman. More so, she hardly knew him. What if it was just the lingering effects of her panic attack? Her medication? What if he ended up hurting her?

Pushing aside his doubts, Karl gentled his kisses, letting his thumb brush tenderly across Jenn's cheekbone. His other hand slid lower, coming to rest on the nape of her neck where he could feel her pulse thrumming wildly beneath his fingertips.

“I'm here,” he murmured between kisses, a promise and a question rolled into one. “We don't have to do anything you're not ready for.”

The last thing he wanted was for her to regret this later. But God, the way she tasted...the feel of her pressed against him...it took every ounce of his self-control not to devour her whole.

Karl pulled back slightly, needing air, his eyes roaming over Jenn's face with renewed appreciation.

How long had it been since he'd been touched like this? Since he'd wanted someone this badly?

“I shouldn't...” he started, voice husky with restrained lust. “I mean, it's not...we shouldn't rush into things.”

Everything he was saying made perfect sense, Jenn thought as she looked at him, breath ragged. They had only just met the day before. They hardly knew each other, really. Although that didn't feel quite right – something about him, there was a strange, deep familiarity, and the way his presence was so calming to her... she felt more comfortable with this veritable stranger than she'd felt with anyone else in her life.

And oh God, did she want him. These feelings were a revelation, she'd spent so long being told she was frigid, passionless... to know now that it wasn't true, it wasn't her. She'd just needed the right man to feel this way, apparently.

She leaned in to press another kiss against his mouth, more tender than passionate this time, like she was trying to know him through his lips. When she pulled away again, her eyes were warm as they met his.

“I don't want to do anything that you aren't comfortable with,” she said softly, trailing her fingertips against his chest. “I trust you. If you'd rather get to know each other better...” she faltered a little, eyes watching her fingers trace along his collarbone.

When she lifted her gaze again to meet his through her eyelashes, she bit her lip for a moment before continuing. “But I really... I mean, I'd like...” Unable to maintain eye contact, she looked down at her fingers on his chest again. “I want you,” she whispered, cheeks blazing. “I've never wanted someone before, but... I want you. Not necessarily now, but...”

Karl's throat constricted as Jenn confessed her desires, his chest tightening with a mix of excitement and trepidation. Her honesty was intoxicating, like a heady elixir that threatened to strip him bare.

“I want you too,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes drinking in the sight of her flushed cheeks and trembling lips.

Gently, he captured her hand in his, bringing her fingertips to his mouth. His lips grazed up to her knuckles, the gesture both tender and possessive.

“But we should slow down,” he insisted, ignoring the protesting voice in his head. “Get to know each other better first.”

Karl released her hand, his thumb brushing against her palm before he broke contact.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

“I can wait,” he assured her, his tone firm but tinged with uncertainty. Could he really resist her?

Before he lost all semblance of control, he scooted back on the bed, creating space between them.

“How about we talk instead?”

His suggestion hung in the silence between them like a challenge - to prove to themselves they could resist the urge to rush headlong into a physical relationship.

Then again, maybe it was just Karl's way of delaying the inevitable...

Jenn nodded, accepting his wishes even as she mourned the loss of his close touch, her skin feeling strangely cold without him pressed against her.

“What would you like to talk about?” she asked, running a hand through her hair and trying to calm her racing heart.

She shifted slightly, tucking her legs underneath herself, the motion tugging her right side. She frowned, adjusting her posture to relieve the pressure, left hand going to rest against her ribs softly for a moment.

It was probably best they waited, she wasn't sure how to explain the healing gunshot wound without telling him everything that had brought her here, which the FBI had been pretty clear she shouldn't do, for her own safety.

But Karl wasn't going to hurt her, and he definitely wasn't going to find the people she was being protected from and bring them here - he'd been annoyed enough when she'd shown up, the last thing he wanted was a whole gang on his doorstep.

Watching Jenn settle more comfortably onto the bed, Karl noted the way her hand instinctively went to her ribs, concern etched into his features. The injury had been familiar-looking, as was the way she supported it with her hand...

Shoving down his growing unease, he focused on answering her question.

“Oh, I don't know,” he mused, running a hand through his tousled hair. “What do most people talk about?”

It was a rhetorical question, really. Karl had cut himself off from most human connections for so long that the usual conversational topics now felt alien to him.

Hesitating, he decided to ask, “Tell me more about home, then? Where exactly are you from?”

“Oh, um...”

'Don't tell anyone anything, not where you're from, not your real name, nothing that could tie you to any of this.' echoed in her mind, the FBI agent's face severe.

Giving a mental shrug, Jess figured he knew so much already, what could it really hurt to tell him a little more.

“Wisconsin,” she said softly. “Hence not being extremely concerned about winter,” she gave a rueful smile. “I'm used to the cold, gets much colder back home in the winter than it'll ever get here. Below-zero temperatures are pretty normal. Hell, I joked with Kylie that we're certified snowbirds now, moving south for warmer winters and all.”

She looked at him carefully, unsure if he was comfortable answering questions as well.

“What about you? Born on this mountain?” she teased, eyes twinkling.

Karl chuckled at her answer before shaking his head. “No, wasn't born nowhere near here,” he replied.

“I was born in California, though. San Diego. Hard to believe I'm the same person sometimes, walking these forest trails.”

His laughter died down quickly as he remembered the reason for his departure. The memories were still painful, even after all this time. He cleared his throat.

“Life got...complicated there. Joined the military shortly after high school graduation to get some breathing room.” And never looked back, until they kicked him out for being 'too dangerous'.

He studied Jenn for a moment, noticing the way her hand kept returning to her side. Curiosity gnawed at him, but he resisted asking directly, not wanting to pry.

“Must miss everyone back home. Family, friends.” Another assumption on his part. But most people did, right? “Ever think about visiting?”

“Can't,” she said simply. “Witness protection, remember? I had to leave everyone and everything behind, for their safety and mine.” She shrugged. “Wasn't really close with anyone anyhow. My family and I haven't spoken in a long time, and I wasn't really allow-” She faltered, face warming a little. “-I didn't really have friends.” she corrected. “Well, except Kylie...” her voice trailed off with a wry smile.

“Military must have been exciting though, did you get to see any cool countries at least? I've never left the States before.”

Jenn's simple explanation hit him like a punch to the stomach. He had to look away from her, jaw clenching. He hadn't fully understood, apparently. Until this moment, Karl had assumed she left behind just a shitty relationship. He hadn't thought about everything else she'd had to abandon, not really.

Hearing her say it now so plainly... opened his eyes to the full reality of her sacrifice.

He was silent for a long minute, processing. When he spoke again, his voice sounded almost pained.

“That's... tough. Leaving it all behind, yeah. Even if they weren't close, still must have stung.”

Karl shifted uncomfortably, the topic hitting too close to home for him. His own past was... complicated to say the least.

Clearing his throat, he steered the conversation back to safer grounds. “As for my military days? Yeah, saw plenty of countries.” A slight edge entered his tone. “Afghanistan, Iraq... places like that.”

He let the implication hang in the air. Didn't need to spell out the ugliness he witnessed firsthand. His gaze turned inward, reliving memories best left forgotten. He blinked rapidly and forced himself to focus on the present.

“Anyways, Afghanistan was interesting, I guess. Saw some beautiful sites outside the war zones. Ancient ruins and shit. But yeah, not exactly the kind of tourism I signed up for.” His lips twisted into a wry smirk. “Guess I'm lucky I got to see it all up close.”

Karl trailed off, realizing he may have said too much already.

Jenn winced, realizing that her comments about seeing the world were probably a bit too naive, the military wasn't for sightseeing after all.

“Sorry, I... being there must have really fucking sucked,” she said plainly. “You don't strike me as the kind of guy who joins up looking forward to mowing down insurgents so...” She swallowed hard. “I guess I'm supposed to thank you for your service now, but that's always felt so... I don't know, weird?

Like I'm saying 'Hey thanks for going to do and see unspeakable shit that you didn't have a choice in and probably we shouldn't have been there anyway'?”

She frowned, wringing her fingers. “No offense meant of course, just... my grandpa was in Vietnam, that shit fucked him up for the rest of his life. He ended up committing suicide when I was in second grade... he was my best friend, war is just so fucked.”

Karl's expression grew solemn at Jenn's candid admission. He knew that look – the one that said she knew what it was like to lose someone important because of the horrors humans inflicted upon one another.

He leaned a bit closer to her, placing a hand gently on her shoulder. “None taken,” he murmured. “And yes, it did suck.”

The weight of his gaze fell heavy on her as he spoke of his experiences. “War isn't glamorous, not in the slightest. It's hell on earth.”

For a moment, he paused, the haunted look in his eyes speaking volumes of the battles he'd faced.

Then, with a sharp inhale, he pushed aside the pain.

“As for travel, you learn to appreciate the little things. Like here.” He gestured towards the window, where the sun was starting to set, casting the first warm hues of twilight. “The peace, the quiet. After a lifetime of noise, it's something else.”

Karl leaned against the headboard, his eyes on the window. “The night sky above these mountains is worth more than any gold or city lights.”

He glanced down at her, the corner of his mouth quirking up into a half-smile. “Ever seen a shooting star from up here?”

“Never,” she said, smiling. “I've been looking forward to seeing the night sky here though, up so high, so far from all the city lights... I bet it's going to be gorgeous. I was planning to try to get a good look tonight if it's clear enough.”

She peeked out the window from her seated position, craning her neck to see if it was dark enough yet for any stars to peek out.

Karl followed her gaze out the window, his own eyes lingering on the fading light of day. He could sense her eagerness, the excitement in her words when talking about the stars. There was a childlike quality to it that surprised him; he'd expected her to be more guarded, more bitter, considering everything she'd endured.

He nodded thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. “Yeah, tonight should be nice. Clear skies, not too much moon, perfect conditions for spotting them. If you want, we can walk down to the meadow together later. Better view from there.”

“I'd love that,” she said warmly. “Just so long as no bears crash the party... I think I'll stick to seeing them in the zoo and not in person,” she said with a shudder.

Kylie decided to make a grand entrance at that time, entering the room with a long, trilling cry that could be roughly translated to 'It is fifteen minutes past my dinner time and this is everyone's problem', and Jess jumped up with a hasty apology to her best friend, hissing in discomfort as the sudden movements to stand pulled across her ribs.

Karl's brow furrowed slightly and he tensed at Jenn's pained noise. He stood and almost started to reach for her instinctively, ready to catch her if she stumbled or collapsed from the movement aggravating her injury.

But he held back, resisting the urge to hover as Jenn hustled out of the room. He wanted to give her space, respect her privacy, and show her he trusted her judgment about pacing herself. It wasn't easy, but he forced himself to stay put.

“Come on Beans, let's get you fed,” Jenn said to the very annoyed cat, measuring out her food before pouring it into her dish, then quickly changing out her water.

Karl listened to the sounds coming from the kitchen - the scrape of kibble being poured, running water filling a bowl. Normal, everyday sounds that seemed somehow special in the quiet of the cabin. It struck Karl how domestic this whole situation felt, how natural it seemed for Jenn to be tending to her pet, cooking, cleaning and for him to be hearing it all.

He wondered what it would be like to have someone rely on him that way. Someone who wasn't just a neighbor or a friend, but a true partner. Someone to take care of and who would take care of him in return.

Karl shook off that line of thinking, pushing down the unfamiliar ache blooming in his chest. That kind of closeness, that level of intimacy - it wasn't possible for him. He couldn't burden anyone else with his secrets and his darkness.

But as Jenn re-entered the room, brushing cat hair from her jeans with a smile, Karl found himself wanting to prolong this simple, shared moment just a little longer.

“It'll be dark soon if you're up for the short hike,” he offered, nodding towards the window and the purple-blue sky beyond it.

“Let's do it,” she said with a grin. “Now that Her Majesty has been fed, my duties as a faithful servant have been fulfilled for the time being.”

She approached him slowly, still a bit tentative, unsure of where exactly she stood, what exactly they were doing, and she decided to just go by instinct - very different than her usual calculated, planned way of living. Something about him made her feel free to just be, exactly as she was.

When she stopped in front of him, she reached up to touch his cheek softly, smiling at him with real affection. Going to her toes, she was just able to lean up and brush her lips against his chin, resting her other hand on his shoulder to steady herself, and looking up at him with soft, luminous eyes.

Karl's breath caught in his throat as Jenn touched him, the warmth of her fingertips on his skin sending a jolt of surprise through his body. He stiffened slightly at her gentle kiss on his chin, unsure how to respond to this sudden display of affection.

His mind raced with conflicting thoughts. Part of him reveled in the connection they were building, while another part of him screamed caution, urging him to pull back before things went too far. His heart pounded in his chest as he met her gaze, her touch leaving a tingling sensation in its wake.

Despite his initial shock, Karl brought his hand up to cover hers, pressing it against his cheek. He allowed himself a moment of vulnerability, leaning into her touch and closing his eyes briefly, letting out a slow exhale.

When he opened his eyes again, he searched hers, trying to decipher what she wanted from him, what she needed. “Jenn,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “Are you sure about this?” He needed to know she was making this decision of her own accord, without any pressure from him.

He waited for her answer, his body poised on the edge of uncertainty, ready to step back or move forward, depending on her reply.

Jenn nodded, rubbing her thumb against his cheekbone softly, the feel of his hand warm against her own.

“Look, I'm not very good at all of this,” she said with a wince and a self-deprecating smile. “I haven't really... I mean, my ex was my first boyfriend. And to be frank he fucking sucked,” she said, bitterness evident in her voice.

“He wasn't... well, he wasn't good at this, either. He was a complete asshole, selfish, never really cared about me at all. I was just, I don't know, a possession I guess. Something he could parade around his boys and something he could use and-” she broke off, head turned away for a moment, eyes closed.

When she spoke again, it was with her head still to the side, eyes still squeezed shut.

“I have no idea what I'm doing. I never liked any of this stuff before. I used to pray he wouldn't touch me, and I used to beg him to just go bother someone else with all of it. I hated it. All of it,” she looked back at him, eyes begging him to understand what she was trying to say.

“All of this... intimacy stuff, it was just a weapon used against me and now I suddenly understand what it's supposed to be like and I just really... I really like you a lot,” she finally got out, the end all in a rush as her face flamed.

Her voice dropped to nearly a whisper, head dipping down a bit. “You make me feel safe. I want to... I don't know, try? See where it goes? I don't know... I probably sound stupid.”

Karl's eyes widened at the raw emotion in Jenn's words, at the painful honesty she laid bare. He could hear the old wounds in her voice, the echoes of hurt and betrayal, and his heart clenched in response.

He wanted to gather her close, to shield her from all the pain the world had inflicted on her, to tell her that she deserved better, that she would never have to suffer like that again.

Without thinking, he drew her into his arms, pulling her against his chest, one hand tangling in her hair while the other supported her back. He held her tenderly, his touch meant to comfort rather than inflame.

“You don't sound stupid, Jenn,” he whispered fiercely against her ear. “What you've gone through, what you're willing to try despite all of that... That takes courage. More than most people have.”

He loosened his hold just enough to tip her chin up, meeting her eyes steadily. “I want you to know something,” he said quietly. “Whatever happens, whatever we decide to do, it's going to be your choice.

You're the only one with the power here.”

Slowly, giving her plenty of time to pull away, Karl leaned in and brushed his lips against hers in a chaste kiss, the barest graze of flesh on flesh. When he pulled back, he kept his forehead pressed against hers, their breathing intermingling.

“I won't lie to you, Jenn. I'm scared too. Scared of getting too close, of messing this up, of-”

He cut himself off with a shake of his head, pushing those fears aside for now. Instead, he focused on the moment they were in, the fragile trust they were building together.

“What do you want?” he asked softly. “Right now, in this moment, what do you want? We can stop anytime. I swear, if you're not comfortable, we can go right back to just watching the stars. You call the shots, okay?”

He held his breath, waiting for her answer, acutely aware that his own happiness depended on her response, however much he might wish otherwise.

She sagged against him, relieved beyond words at his response.

“Maybe... we could go look at the stars and then after, you could show me what your place looks like inside?” she asked, cheeks blushing at the implication of her suggestion.“It's only fair, you've seen my place after all.” she teased, staying pressed against him and tracing her fingers against his chest next to her face, cheek still resting against the warm flannel of his shirt.

Stargazing in a beautiful meadow sounded very romantic, and her stomach twisted in anticipation and worry both in equal measure. He was almost definitely more experienced than her in just about every way you could imagine. The things she'd done... that had been done to her... she didn't think they were conventional by any means. She was pretty sure he'd be disappointed, but maybe if he was willing to try more than once, to show her, well, she'd always been told she was a fast learner...

Karl chuckled at her teasing words, the low rumble vibrating through his chest. He appreciated the way she tried to lighten the mood, to bring some normalcy and levity to an admittedly tense situation.

“Well, it certainly isn't as charming as yours,” he quipped, nuzzling into her hair briefly, taking in her scent again and feeling the way it immediately affected him, both physically and emotionally. “And definitely not as tidy. Bachelors aren't known for their housekeeping skills, after all.”

Her tracing fingers against his chest sent sparks of electricity across his skin, and he bit back a groan, fighting the urge to pull her flush against him and feel her curves mold to his harder planes.

He knew he needed to handle this delicately. Jenn's limited experience and clear anxiety made him hyper-aware of his role as the guide, the mentor in this strange dance they were embarking upon. He refused to exploit her trust or overwhelm her with his own wants.

So instead of sweeping her into his arms caveman style and tumbling her onto the bed like he desperately wanted, Karl took a measured step back, bringing Jenn's hand to his mouth for a lingering kiss on her knuckles.

“Come on then,” he said lightly, giving her a small smile. “Let's head to that meadow and see what we can see.”

With that, he led her from the bedroom and toward the front door, pausing to grab the throw blankets from the back of the sofa and loop his arm through hers companionably with a little arch of his eyebrow.

He understood that each step mattered, that each small touch built the foundation of something greater, something meaningful.

And maybe, just maybe, the stars would shine brightly enough to light the way forward for them both.