They say you should wear clothing for the job you want, not the job you have. I was dressed like a bum, not the politician I feared I was about to become.

"This is awkward," I muttered more to myself than anyone in the immediate vicinity.

"I should say so. Perhaps you should shed your disguise and lay waste to the entire entourage. Imagine the reactions," Ophelia suggested.

I found myself in a precarious position as Baron Bertram's ornate carriage rolled up, flanked by a contingent of armed guards. The soldiers swiftly dismounted and formed a skirmish line, weapons sheathed, hands on sword hilts or gripping spears to their sides.

Beside me, Urzan and his orcs bristled at the show of force. Steel rasped against leather as they drew their weapons, preparing for a fight. Urzan's face contorted with anger as he rounded on me.

"What is this?" he bellowed. "Why this treachery!"

“Easy, Urzan. I'll take care of it, okay? It's a miscommunication. Can you wait a few minutes before trying to rip off more heads? Speaking of…” My eyes were drawn to the human head in his hand. “Can you lose that? Come on, pal. It might send the wrong message.”

Urzan shrugged and tossed the head about fifty feet away in an impressive throw that looked entirely effortless. "Orc no like wait! Orc like fight! Maybe we have new fight!”

Doan blew out a breath, turned to the town guards, and yelled, "Come on, lads. We must reach this high-born idiot before he does something stupid."

"Aye!" Alic joined him.

Before I could think too much about the ramifications, I sprinted after them both, while a dozen or so of the town guards formed up between the Baron's men and us. That's when I realized the precariousness of my situation.

I became aware of the growing crowd behind me. Townsfolk had emerged from their homes and shops, drawn by the commotion. Their faces were curious and apprehensive as they watched the standoff between the baron and the unlikely group of humans and orcs.

I couldn't help but think that this would be the talk of Everspring for weeks to come—nothing like a good dose of drama to fuel the gossip mill.

"Get behind me, Varix," Doan muttered, his eyes never leaving the armed men before us.

Alic's voice cut through the tension as he rushed out, arms raised. "Stand down!" he shouted at the mounted soldiers. "These orcs are not our enemies! Stand down!”

The soldiers did not stand down.

“I’m Alic Ashfall, and I’m the damn captain of the guard. You will do as I say!”

The soldiers glanced back at the carriage.

“Hey. Look at him, not at your ride!” I took a stab at giving orders and was promptly ignored.

“Do you think your words carry any water? They obey only one man. I’ve seen soldiers like this. The one who holds the purse strings is their lord and commander,” Garin said.

“Orc ready to fight!” Urzan bellowed from behind me.

I turned and yelled at Urzan, “Hold your horses!”

“Why hold horse! Orc no like horse! Horse meat okay!"

I blanched and shook my head.

The carriage creaked to a halt, and for a moment, everything was still. Then, the door swung open.

“This one likes to make an entrance. That’s nobles for ya, lad,” Garin said.

“Probably a useless puffin of a man,” Ophelia breezed.

A small man, barely taller than my shoulder, stepped out. His dark blue outfit was immaculate, adorned with gold trimmings. Given his stature, he held himself with an air of importance that seemed almost comical.

Clearing his throat, the man announced in a surprisingly booming voice, "Presenting his lordship, Baron Bertram Swiftwood!"

Seraphina's voice behind me tinged with amusement. “The baron certainly likes to make an entrance. Always been a bit full of himself, if you ask me.”

Baron Bertram Swiftwood stepped out of his carriage. He was dressed in a bright red doublet with puffed sleeves embroidered with intricate gold patterns that shimmered in the sunlight. His pants were a matching red, tucked into polished black boots that reached his knees. A short, finely crafted saber hung at his waist.

The baron surveyed the scene critically, his gaze lingering on the orcs. He had a certain air about him, a mix of aristocratic superiority barely concealed disdain.

"What in the blazes is going on here?" the baron demanded, his hands on his hips. His voice was fast and clipped. It reminded me of John Cleese. "And why, pray tell, are these foul creatures sullying our fair town with their presence? I demand they leave at once!" He paused and stamped his foot. "At once!"

Before Caden or Doan could interject, I raised my hands placatingly. "Baron Swiftwood, I presume? My name is Varix Vel'Naris, and I believe there's been a misunderstanding here."

The baron eyed me suspiciously. "A misunderstanding, you say? Well, do enlighten me, my good man."

I took a deep breath. "I made a deal with these orcs. They assisted us in defending the town during the recent raid. Without their help, Everspring might have been burned to the ground."

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Baron Swiftwood's eyebrows shot up. "A deal? With orcs? Preposterous! I find that hard to believe. No, no, this simply won't do. They must depart immediately, and that's final!"

“Not on my watch, baron. These orcs can stay as long as they want,” Alic joined me.

Seraphina moved around to my other side and stared at the baron. He lowered his gaze briefly. “What this man says is true. He risked life and limb to bring us these defenders, and they were valiant in the battle last night. Not only that, but I believe the bandits are no longer a threat to our fair town.”

The baron put his hand under his chin, and muttered, “Hmm. Hmm. I see. Hmm.”

“One more thing. We’re throwing a feast for the orcs."

Baron Swiftwood’s face contorted into a mix of disbelief and indignation. His voice rose in pitch. "A feast? For orcs? In my town? This is utterly absurd! Next, you'll be suggesting we invite trolls for tea and goblins for garden parties! No, no, no! This simply won't do!"

"We're going to honor Varix's word, Baron Swiftwood. With or without you," Alic said firmly.

"I do like a man in command. If he is killed in the next few minutes, do introduce us, darling," Ophelia said.

The baron paced. Looked us up and down. Cast his eyes on the orcs. Muttering to himself. He clutched his saber, stroked his chin, and finally said, "Oh, very well! If these... creatures must remain in the vicinity, they can stay outside the town walls. But I won't have them roaming about our streets, frightening the good people of Everspring!"

Alic's voice was calm but firm. "My lord, I can assure you that the orcs will not cause any trouble. My soldiers will keep a watchful eye on them at all times, even though I think it unnecessary."

I jumped in and turned on the charm, hoping for another dice roll, resulting in a natural twenty. "Baron Swiftwood, if I may. These orcs have proven themselves to be valuable allies. They risked their lives to defend our town. Surely, we can show them a modicum of hospitality? There are only two dozen of them; look at your guard unit. They look like they would barely break a sweat taking on that many orcs."

The baron's eyebrows furrowed as he considered my words. I pressed on. "Think of the goodwill this could generate. Imagine being known as the forward-thinking baron who brokered peace between humans and orcs. It could be quite the feather in your cap. I bet the king, who so generously offered amnesty to the green skins, would be quite impressed."

The baron's expression shifted, a glimmer of interest in his eyes. "Well, when you put it that way... It would be rather progressive of me, wouldn't it?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "Absolutely, baron. You'd be setting a precedent for the entire kingdom."

Beside me, Seraphina barely suppressed a tinkle of laughter; thankfully, it was quiet enough that Bertram didn't hear it.

Baron Swiftwood stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Oh, very well," he said with a dramatic sigh. "They may enter the town for this... feast. But they must be on their best behavior! One wrong move, and they're out! Is that clear?"

"Clear as day, baron." I turned and yelled at Urzan, "Does that work for you?"

"You cook for orcs!?"

"Yes, of course. We'll have dinner at The Shadow's Respite tonight."

"Very well, then. That does it, yes? Are we concluded here?"

Alic let out a sigh of relief. I nearly did as well, but I needed to push my luck a little. I glanced at Seraphina and quickly whispered. "You really want to keep the staff?"

"I hate the idea of it being in that dandy's hands. He has no idea what is possible with a Star of Luminas,” she said, referring to the magical gem I’d sold her which now sat atop the staff.

"Baron, one more thing," I said, breaking away from our group. "Mind if I approach?"

"Yes, yes. Very well, but make it quick." His eyes darted over my clothing, and he barely suppressed a sneer. Honestly? I didn't blame him.

His personal guards stood down, most returning to their horses. His drivers put the heavy crossbows down.

"Great to meet you, Baron Swiftwood. I'm Varix, as I said. Varix Vel'Naris."

I offered my hand. He looked at it in confusion, so I yanked it back and smoothed the back of my head. "Psych."

"Pardon?"

"Baron," I began, putting on my most persuasive tone. "These orcs have performed a hazardous duty in defending our town. Don't you think they deserve some compensation for their efforts?"

The baron's eyebrows shot up. "Compensation? For orcs?"

"And," I pressed on, "I could use some help with supplies for the celebration feast I promised them. It's quite an undertaking to feed so many hungry warriors."

Baron Swiftwood’s face clouded over. "I'm afraid that's quite impossible," he said dismissively, waving his hand in front of his face. "I've just invested significantly in purchasing The Wandering Boar Tavern. There are simply no funds available for such... excesses."

Seraphina, who had been listening, joined me. "Baron," she said smoothly, "perhaps we could come to an arrangement. For the good of the town, of course. You could always pay for the staff later. I'd be happy to set it aside for you."

The baron's jaw tightened, and he blew out a breath. "I'm not very happy about this, but I can be magnanimous, when called for. We will discuss the staff at a later time. I suppose I'll have to pay for your impulsiveness." He turned his eyes on me, then said grudgingly, "I'll pay the orcs for their service; the town can reimburse me out of taxes at a later date, awaiting the crown's approval, of course. But you, Mr. Vel'Naris, are on your own with this celebration. You made the deal. You must abide by it."

Alic and Doan exchanged glances. "We'll chip in," Doan announced, reaching for his coin purse.

"Aye. So will I." Alic nodded in agreement, then turned to address the gathered townsfolk. "Good people of Everspring!" he called out. "The baron can't afford a feast for our orc allies. Who among you would like to help Varix pay for the festival?"

A murmur rippled through the crowd. Then, one by one, voices began to rise.

"I'll give you two gold!" a familiar voice called out. I turned to see Ragna, Doan's mother, reaching into her pocket.

"We can spare some vegetables from our garden!" a farmer's wife offered. "What do you need?"

"I'll donate meat. Happy to help you, Varix!" There was Shellen, with Caden in tow.

"Count me in for a few coins, as well," Caden chimed in.

More voices joined in, pledging money and supplies for the celebration.

The baron's face turned beet red. He'd been called out, and he knew it. He raised his voice and stated loudly. "I, Baron Swiftwood, shall contribute the sum of ten gold to the festival!"

Voices rose as they cheered on his words, and the baron smiled brightly, waving his hand at the crowd.

"Thanks, Baron. That's real neighborly of you."

The baron motioned me closer. Seraphina moved to join me, but he waved her off.

“Pardon me, good lady Seraphina. I need a private word with Mr. Vel’Naris.”

“Somebody’s in trouble,” Garin sing-songed.

“Certainly,” Seraphina said, returning to stand with the town guard.

The baron smiled brightly at the townspeople as he waved me close. He turned away from the town, and his smile fell as his eyes narrowed. "You listen to me, Mr. Vel'Naris. This careless action of yours will cost me a fortune. I intend to see my investment returned when I drive your paltry tavern out of business. Not that it's in any condition to earn any business, yet. Now, good day."

"Okay, baron." I raised my voice and waved as he turned to get back into his carriage. His weird announcer dude suddenly looked like he had sucked on a lemon, but he withdrew ten gold pieces and handed them to me, then he got into the carriage after Bertram.

The money would go a long way, but I had a lot of work to do. I realized I'd need to hire help on top of acquiring the supplies to cook for the orcs.

I headed back toward the town, my mind swirling. Urzan wore something like a smile, with his tusks in full view.

"Urzan and orcs happy! Varix true to word!"

"Told you I'd take care of it," I said to Urzan with a grin.

"You make stew! Stew with big heat!”

"I'm about to make a stew that will blow your mind. You like chilies? Well, I'm going to make a dish called chili. Because of all the chilies. And meat! What do you think?"

Urzan grinned at me again. "Meat and heat good! Orc like!"

Everything had come together, after all. Now, all I had to do was figure out how to pull this off.