Wilford sits and thinks about it, watching as Emma's body dances in the moonlight, making potions, weaving a tapestry with her hands.

Wilford looks to the sky, at the beautiful moon.

What if I wasn’t trash? What if I wasn’t a bitch. Wilford wonders.

The Dao of the Dirt system laughs. I doubt you'll ever escape being trash, but you could be braver. Would you be willing? It asks.

Wilford smiles. Its not that I'm afraid, system. Its that scale can grow very big, like a large trunk of tree, and its bushy leaves. He thinks. I would be willing. He confirms.

Suddenly, the flowing magical energy began to linger, began to play, would it stay?

Well, hot damn. The system says. I think your value went up, son. It says, somewhat amazed.

Then… Wilford’s mind began to drift… Emma’s vagina… hmmm… oh hmm… a little ting a ling… a little ballerina…

“Wilford can you help me open this jar?” Emma asks.

Wilford looks up. “What’s in there?” He asks.

“Snake eyes.” Emma says.

Wilford smiles. “Coming dear!” He calls out, walking over.

Wilford grabs the jar and attempts to open it, but it gets stuck. Struggling and grunting, he struggles to open, the jar, but it was still stuck.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Wilford gets angry, and an energy began to bubble. Flowing in, flowing out, the engine began to rev, then plop.

The lid quickly pops open, spilling liquid onto Emma’s shirt.

Emma stands and begins to wipe. “Aww, you got snake juice, all over me.” She says.

Wilford blushes. “Say, Emma, how’d you catch so many snakes?” He asks.

“Easy, Wilford, dear, just be a polite and proper young lady, and they’ll be swimming over oceans to reach you.” She says with a smile.

Wilford chuckles. “How would I catch a snake?” He asks, curious.

Emma smirks. “Probably with candy.” She says, a little amused.

Wilford shakes his head. “I’m usually the one seeking. I’d catch them with rabbit turds.” He says.

Emma raises an eyebrow. “How would you find so many bunnies?” She asks.

Wilford smiles awkwardly. “I’d simply follow the story.” He says, sighing.

…

…

Battle energy? Wilford thinks, holding a warm and soft body close, wiping the sweat from his brow.

Its awakened. The system says.

Wilford furrows his brows. Great. He thinks, before his hands begin to furrow a kitty.

…

…

Wilford… Drifting… into sleep…

No, no! It’s not how it would go! The voice calls out.

You would have to be a prince! The voice calls out once more.

A prince… A prince…

Wilford calls out, when he remembers he left a pie in the oven.

Wilford takes out the steamy hot pie.

“Well, someone’s gotta eat that.” He says, a little cheekily

Wilford picks up the pie, and begins to eat it, the temperature just right.

Wilford’s face becomes stained with blueberries.

Then he wakes up. Wilford sighs. It was all a dream.

…

…

In the next life…

…

…

Emma looks over at Wilford, “If I was treasure how much would I be worth?” She asks.

Wilford smiles. “If you were food, how much could I eat?” He asks.

“I imagine a lot.” Emma says.

Wilford smiles. “Aren’t you treasure?” He asks.

Emma shakes her head. “You should have assumed that, slow.” She says, mildly disappointed.

Wilford thinks about it. “If you were a treasure, you’d be 2000 year old tapestry, linking back to the Old Kingdom, you’d be the work of a tavern maiden, a housekeeper, and the grace of a princess. You would be tasty.” He says.

Emma looks outward. “If you hadn’t already tasted me, how would you approach me?” She asks.

“I’d get your number from the traveling minstrel.” Wilford says.

Emma smiles. “The traveling minstrel doesn’t have my number.” She says, hiding a secret.

Wilford sighs. “Then, I'd write you a poem.” He says. “Jingle bells, count to three, I wish that you’ll be with me, a little price, that I must pay, I’d rather let children dream, of a better place, three four, come to me, I don’t think I’ve had a taste of thee.” He says.

Emma smiles. “Will this story continue?” She asks.

“I think it will, it could be necessary, but there’s a long road ahead, will you join it with me?” He asks. Wilford smiles and begins to walk down the road.

Emma shakes her head. “If I must.” She says