Chapter 2

== Crazy Lunchbox Incident ==

Hello, all. I’m so in a very good health right now that I feel like I’m immune to diseases. How about you? I hope you’re in a good health.

By the way, have you ever gotten yourself a lunchbox made by your friend? It’s a bliss to be able to eat what they have put so much effort in making. And if it’s the girl you’re in love with who’s making the lunchbox, you’ll feel like you’re in heaven.

Today I got my very first lunchbox. It had love pattern on the rice and is filled with a combination of vegetable stir fry and meat—sausages and one-bite croquettes. I have to admit it that it was made with lots, lots of love.

But the thing is… the thing is…

I push the mouth-watering lunchbox away from me, “I can’t accept this.”

“Why? I made it for you,” Endou-san asks.

There. You see the problem?

“I should be the one asking you why!” I grit my teeth, “why are you making me a lunchbox? If you’re a girl then I will eat it! I definitely will! But you’re a boy! Look at these cute croquettes and sausages! Not to mention the heart pattern rice! You’re creeping me out!”

Endou-san scratches his head, “Well, my duty is to make lunchboxes for my family, you see. Might as well make one for you.”

I slam the table with clenched fists, “THAT is the problem! A guy doesn’t make a lunchbox for his guy friend! See this love-pattern?! Are you even straight? Tell me you’re straight!”

He blinks for a few seconds and answers matter-of-factly, “Well, to be honest I don’t really like girls.”

I slap my own face. Hard. First, it was an almost perfect girl that approaching her seems difficult and now it’s a scary guy who loves guy! Am I living in a soap opera world? Does my feeling and life destined to be swung from normal to abnormal? Am I born to be a bisexual?! But I’m normal and I love girls, especially Shindou-san!

“Please, I don’t need this,” I put more stern intonation in my voice as I shove the lunchbox back. I want to live as a normal guy and fall in love in a normal way—like most people do. It’s not like I strongly oppose boys love. They can hold hands or being all lovey-dovey in front of me all they want, but I prefer not to be involved in that kind of relationship. Me is me and they are they. You got that?

I ignore the hurt in Endou-san’s face, but I have to be strict. I’m normal and I will always be.

Lucky me, the bell for the first lesson rings so at least I don’t have to see that face for a while and feel so damn guilty. I know that he’s considerate enough to make me a lunchbox, but please… he’s a guy and he has to knock that habit off or else everyone will think that we’re into that kind of “love”.

I try hard to focus, but damn my stomach isn’t cooperating a little bit. I feel lightheaded because I haven’t had my breakfast yet. Reading comics up so late is truly a mistake. I overslept and well…

Dang… I want to eat something or I will die… My stomach hurts so much that I feel like my intestines are spinning like clothes in a washing machine. Eh, sorry if it was too graphic… I have to endure… I don’t know, 5 hours maybe, just so I can eat. Dang... I so want to eat something…

I frown when I see the teacher splits into two. It’s not like he was an amoeba or something, but another him indeed shows up out of nowhere.

As my vision is getting blurred, I feel lightheaded and weak. I can’t hold on anymore and I fainted. The last thing I see was everyone’s panic expressions.

00=000=00

Something below me is really soft and my body feels so comfortable, like it was covered with a thick blanket. Oh, someone is holding my right hand. Is… is this Shindo-san? I hope it’s her. The warmth fills my heart with ease. Slowly I open my eyes, but I quickly squint. The lamp’s light stings my eyes that I have to cover them with one palm.

This trademark smells… I must be in the school’s infirmary.

“You okay?”

I turn to my right to see Endou-san there, holding my hand. He quickly crushes my hope into nothing and sullies my mood. This guy is really into me.

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I break his grip in my right hand. To make it looks like his touch is not so fucking creepy and see that hurtful face, I quickly bring my hand to my forehead in attempt to feel my body warmth.

“You fainted during the class,” I hear Endou-san’s low voice. One thing I envy about him is his voice. It’s so manly and macho. Compared to my voice… well, you can’t help but laugh.

“Sorry,” I don’t really know what else to say, so ‘sorry’ quickly comes to mind.

“You idiot!” his scream surprises me, “why didn’t you eat your breakfast first?”

I scratch my head. Who the heck he thinks he is? I don’t like it when stranger like him being so overly concerned about me. He’s not my mother. Besides, he’s not my friend. We are acquaintance. I still can’t accept him just because we went for karaoke several days ago. Damn, would you please just leave me alone? This kind of closeness makes me uncomfortable.

“I overslept. Say, aren’t you supposed to be in class?”

“It’s lunchtime now,” Endou-san lifts that goddamn lunchbox he made with love for me to see. I gulp, feeling that this will get ugly. He opens it and brings a sausage in front of my mouth, “It’s kind of cold, but open your mouth.”

I begrudgingly obey. I feel so weak that I’m afraid to drop the lunchbox if I were to eat it by myself. I need to remind you that I’m not gay! I’m normal and this feeding session is unintentional.

I gulp. The case is so damn girly—it’s pink! That love-pattern rice keeps punching my conscience, reminding me that this is so wrong. Not to mention the horrib—oh my God!

“It… It’s delicious!” I blurt it out. I thought it was disgusting, but it’s not. It’s super ultra great delicious wonderful yummy!

Endou-san grins ear to ear and feeds me a croquette. This is good, too! Although it’s cold and not so crunchy anymore, the spice really makes my tongue dancing in joy. What’s this…? I feel warm and spicy melt in my tongue. Could it be black peppers?

The yummy foods help me regain my lost energy and I quickly snatch the lunchbox and eat it like a man who hasn’t eaten in three days. I don’t care about the love-love pattern or even the pink case. All I care is to put everything in my mouth because they’re absolutely delicious.

“Here. Water,” Endou-san gives me a bottle of mineral water and I quickly gulp it down. I drank half of it and exhale in bliss. My stomach is full and I feel so content with my life. Now that everything is all fine, it’s time to say something to Endou-san.

“Hey,” I call out to him and he listens carefully. His eyes never leave mine. God, his attentiveness is somewhat creepy. I muster my courage and murmur, “Sorry about that. About what happened this morning.”

“It’s fine. I expect you to react that way.”

“How did you know? What are you, some kind of ESP?”

He blinks and links his fingers together. Suddenly his expression turns somber and I can’t help but scared about what he’s going to say. He finally opens his mouth after spending five minutes pondering for answer, “Because… you are the reincarnation of King Elemor and I was your queen.”

Holy SHIT! What?!!

Whaaaat?!

I barely able to register what I’m hearing. My mouth closes and opens for the time being as my mind races to get an answer I want. But no matter how hard I think, my brain can’t come up with at least decent answer to what Endou-san just said.

I am the reincarnation of the king of thingy? Endou-san was my queen? Holy cow! Is this some kind of cliché anime story where the main character is a reincarnation of something godly and has to unlock his long lost power to save the world?!

What the heck…?!

I desperately observe Endou-san’s expression to find a little hint of joke. If I don’t find any, then I’m screwed. I’m not going to save the world just because I’m the reincarnation of some shit king!

Looks like Endou-san is not joking.

I truly am screwed.

00=000=00

Endou-san was my queen? But he is a guy, but he was a she… My mind can’t keep up and I feel that it’s overheating. If I keep thinking about this, I fear that my brain will explode and I will die. This has to be some kind of… stupid reality. There’s no magic in this world and there’s no such thing as reincarnation!

“Aki,” after hearing the ‘truth’, Endou-san’s voice somewhat makes me shudder. Instead of hearing his usual low voice, I’m beginning to hear a woman’s voice, mind you! How creepy is that?!

“Aki, I’m so sorry.”

I frown, suspicious, “…what for?”

“I made it all u--”

Before Endou-san finishes his sentence, I slam him with the lunchbox while yelling, “DIEEEE!!!”

Before I know it, Endou-san is sprawling out on the ground, his left cheek was red and in a shape of a lunchbox. Groaning, he slowly stands on his feet but doesn’t approach me. Maybe he’s afraid of another hard slam and he’s right. I’m going to kill him with this lunchbox.

How dare he lie to me?! Dammit, I was going to believe him!

“Sorry, Aki. It was a bad joke.”

“It was, you scum!” I yell, “you were so convincing that I was beginning to believe you. What’s more, the manga I read yesterday was about some ancient god reincarnated in modern days!”

“Sorry, sorry…” he waits patiently for me to cool down and sits near me. Time passes without us saying anything. He must’ve been feeling guilty.

“Aki,” he suddenly calls my name. I turn to him and see him picks something from the edge of my lips and eats it. He grins, “You’ve got rice on your lips.”

At that time, I hear several gasps of people and I freeze on the spot. I snap my eyes to the door and see several girls and boys from my class. All of them are staring at us with mouth wide open.

…I think that they saw what Endou-san did with the rice…

I’m screwed this time. For real.