I didn’t get to rest long after having the gorgeous cannibal take a bite out of me. In fact, she had hoisted me up like I was small child and was holding me to her petite form. There seemed to be an argument of sorts going on, and I had genuinely no idea as to what the topic was about. Of course, I could have guessed. It would have been something along the lines of.

“Put that man down, you don’t know where he’s been” or “What happened to you and that room back there?” possibly: “Why has all the toilet cleaner been yeeted down the corridor?”

I began to try and get my feet under me; the gorgeous and very VERY strong young woman was keeping me in place though. She smelled of soot and blood, and a hint of orchid. The conversation slash argument came to an end when I started wabbling around.

“You. Human. What did you do?” I felt the woman’s grip on me ease off a little, till I found myself standing and still supported by her. I was dizzy as all hell. Opening my eyes certainly didn’t help all that much, the hall was spinning, and with it the staff that had entered I was struggling to make out any faces.

“Not much. You?” There was a sound like a whip striking and I winced, when I felt my small but apparently fierce friend push me behind her, knocking me off my feet as she grappled with one of the gorilla doormen, I felt like I was about to call out for a dose of “off you fuck” when I saw that she was holding his wrist in her hand, and her other was digging into his throat.

“Nau’oath.” She said deadpan, her hair looked closer to crimson, her skin porcelain. The brute was changing shades and looked half panicked, nobody else dared to move.

“Looks like you got this all sorted, I think I am going to dip.” The… ah hell I am going to call her my crimson princess because it sounds cool. My crimson princess dropped the guard and fell back to me, one hand on my shoulder, the other cupping my chin. I could feel her gaze on mine, but wasn’t a hundred percent sure I should meet giving her overwhelming display of strength.

“Lawoath’kane ooperth’oathnow mawn’ay mawn’yare oath’thaw oath’now.” A moment passed by while I gathered the courage to look at her. She was looking at me so intently, tears in her eyes, she didn’t look like she had been half dead two minutes ago, her clothes were in tatters, and she was covered in gore… but dammit she wore it well.

“I have absolutely. And I mean this honestly. Absolutely no fucking idea what you just said, but I kind of loved it.” The smile that she gave me almost made me misty eyed. I hadn’t felt that way in a long, long time.

She leaned in and kissed my forehead then, the onlookers gasped…What were they Japanese tourists? A familiar figure came into view, the waitress from earlier with the fifteen piercings that she could show me.

“Great one…” she began, and my crimson princess turned to view her somewhat coldly. “Can you tell us what happened, so that we may understand, we will respect your wish and leave the mundane untouched.” I snorted at this.

I fucking wish I was simply mundane instead of all this weird shit. My crimson princess regaled them with the events… I think, I mean she did seem dead when I had found her, and I was about thirty seconds behind the one hundred percent dead guy laying in the broom closet. And I didn’t understand a word she was saying other than she was pretty much petting me reassuringly like a dog. I tried picking out words but there was just a lot of “th’s” and “oo’s” and almost bestial rrr’s which became close to purring at points, it was a beautiful language, and it was not English or Japanese. Not that I spoke either well, but I as a man of culture would be able to pick up on certain phrases spoken in the Japanese tongue. Courtesy of years watching anime subbed. My new friend was very good at showing motion though and at points did move around like she had been privy to what was going on, some of the newcomers seemed to fighting smiles at her admittedly adorable display. Content and finished she had her hands on me again and was sniffing me. My tough cookie cannibal apparently was a big fan of Mont Blanc Individuel. I know I was. I was now faced with a gaggle of people charmed and entertained by Hannibal Lectaura giving me incredulous stares. A blonde with braids appeared, dressed in fur and an expensive looking evening gown, her face and features looked like they plucked her off the set of some Viking epic. She parted the pack of people as she passed, they lowered to either side of the sodden hall, hands on hearts and gazes averted. I was… well I was just about keeping my shit together. This opened up a new exchange, her own tongue mirroring Bitey Mcgee. Judging by the newcomer’s lipstick shade and oh, I don’t know two inch canines, my own princess’ extending just a bit longer I was fairly confident that my princess wasn’t a cannibal. She hadn’t bitten and chewed my skin, oh no, she was biting into and drinking from me. I put my hand up to my throat expecting to find the wound, but there was no evidence of it being there. There was no doubt in my mind then that she was in fact, a Leprechaun… Look you probably figured it out way before I did, and that is all well and good for you, you get to see the whole picture as it forms, I am a logical being that piece’s things together as they come at me. I got attacked by a possibly possessed person. That makes it likely and okay to label her as a cannibal. Turns out she’s not possessed and some sort of other being I am going to say she’s a vampire. Crap I don’t even know if that’s the acceptable term for her society, what if it’s offensive? Like saying she’s Australian when she’s a Kiwi? Wait I don’t think that tracks. They finished in short order, and my red head fang girl brushed the back of her hand across my cheek as she sauntered away.

“Soetea’awnyare.”

Yup I still have no idea what you are trying to say to me, but you know what? It’s cool. I smiled, aiming for reassuring, but I really felt like I needed a nap. The second the pair had left, the staff rose and began to breakup and move, the brutes seemed to look upon me as one might a turd on a shag carpet and left, but my waitress was talking animatedly with two others who disappeared in different directions, both looking wide eyed and panicked.

“Hey, uh. So, how are you feeling farm-boy?”

“Not bad, you?” My head was pounding, and I felt like I hadn’t eaten all day. Make that the past few days.

“You know magic?” she asked.

“I can make a coin disappear sure.” This elicited a titter of laughter from her.

“That is not what I meant, and you know it.”

“Nah, it’s not magic, it’s… complicated.” I said stifling a yawn.

“You shouldn’t sleep yet, Claire and Andrea are getting you something to eat and drink, and some clothes, yours are in a bad way.” I looked down and nodded.

“Good. I was afraid you all were going to do some shady secret society shit.” I paused as a yawn broke free. “and I was going to have to try and make a run for it.”

“You don’t look like you will be running much tonight.”

“Tomorrow then.” I wobbled and she reached out to steady me.

“Let’s get you something to sit on.”

“I’ll be fine.” I said shirking her off.

“Ah the alpha male-”

“Please allow me to cut you off.” I said tersely. “I don’t know you, sorry. Till about seventeen seconds ago I didn’t believe in vampires, I never met one, I think. I was just out because my gut said you know what? You deserve a night out away from work.”

“And him?” She thumbed toward the body being dragged out by two members of staff.

“A victim of my curse.” I said as a matter of fact.

“You did this? Started this I mean?” She seemed a little alarmed. Her eyes a little wild. It was my turn to snort now.

“No.” I shook my head. “He. Is what happens when I think I am going to have a nice relaxing night out.” I fought off a monstrous yawn, the chipped paint from the back of the clubs corridor snagging and popping off the wall under my finger nails as I fidgeted.

Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.

“I don’t know when you are being serious or when you are just being difficult.”

“Sucks to be you then, doesn’t it?” I said flashing a wolfish grin.

“Olivia, I have a drink and sandwich from the vending machine.”

“Thanks Andrea, just leave it here.” The brunette nodded, before disappearing again.

“Make sure you let the fire marshal know that-” The waitress I now knew was called Olivia turned to look to her colleague to find her already departed.

“Here.” She offered a ham and cheese wrapped sandwich to me, and I didn’t question for a second if it had been poisoned, I was too hungry to care, not to mention my gut said it was fine.” So, I wolfed it down, Olivia watched in interest as I held my hand out for the drink, which she supplied, I bobbed happy to be filling the void from within, and immediately regretted it with my vision blurring from the blood loss.

My gut was a fucking idiot.

It wasn’t till I had chugged the bottle of Lucozade and let out a polite burp pardoning myself as I am not an animal when I realized my grave mistake. It was ham and cheese. In a buttered roll. No wonder it tasted so good. I was going to be regretting this sarnie in a few hours. When what can only be described as hellfire shoots out of my arse. I groaned, thinking about it had my stomach cramping already.

“What’s wrong?” Olivia asked looking concerned at my paling complexion.

“As of two years ago I am lactose intolerant…”

“But you ate the cheese?”

“Bread and butter too.” I added.

“Why?” She asked sounding awed.

“Because I have a lot on my mind at the moment okay little miss, I got fifteen piercings I can show you.” I said in a mocking tone. This brought a bit of colour to her cheeks. She had her phone out in an instant and was sending a rapid text.

“What’s wrong?”

“Freyja will likely take my life if she finds out I poisoned her mate.”

“Mate like friend, right?” I said feeling dizzy for a whole other reason. Olivia shook her head. “She has claimed her interest.”

“You mean the whole biting me thing?” Olivia just gave me a bug-eyed glare.

“You truly have no understanding, do you?”

“Like I said, new ground for me.”

“I have called you an taxi, please get changed when Claire gets here.”

“I got a lift with my frien-”

“They have already left.”

“Oh the whole fire alarm thing?”

“Actually no.”

“No?”

“It seems your male friend took a shot and missed. Your other friend left.” I thought I was following what was being said but being kind of fucked up I shook my head.

“So, Paul went for Sylvia and she shot him down, and she left… what about Paul?”

“He left after having another shot.”

“And you know all this because?”

“Because I am very good at my job.”

“Not that good.”

“Oh? And how would you-”

“-You poisoned me.” I said raising my eyebrows. In a faux stern expression. This got the reaction I wanted as she changed through various shades and moods. Claire mercifully turned up then with an armful of swag. Oh goody It was a hoody that stated I was “Enchanted at The Witch’s Coven” as well as another Item I was not mad about.

“Thank you, Claire.” She nodded.

“Taxi is here too.” Olivia nodded in thanks. I stood up and took my ruined shirt off and slipped on the hoody. “And I am sorry but… these were the only trousers we have.” She handed me a pair of yoga pants, with Juicy embroidered across the backside. I took them, and grimaced.

“It’s fine, we can sort something else out.” Olivia was saying unable to hide her mirth.

“Nah fuck it, it’s fine.” I said slipping my shoes off and trying to balance with out soaking my socks, which worked for about half a second before I staggered and put a foot in the sprinkler-soaked floor.

Fuck’s sake. Ew.

“You’re not actually…”

“Damn right I am, worn worse.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I used to wear a lot of skinny jeans during my emo phase.” Yoga pants were nowhere near as bad as skinny jeans, yoga pants seemed to hold everything in but the material was breathable and actually felt quite accommodating… I might have to consider getting a pair to wear around the house… hmm.

“So, farm-boy, can you tell us your name?”

“I mean I would prefer I didn’t as no offense I don’t wanna get murdered by a cult of weirdos or what have you.”

“His name is Jack Strife, he lives in Lyndhurst-“

“Um actually, that’s an old address.” I butted in. Not impressed that one of the cult type dancer people had found my wallet along with my driver’s license.

“Thanks Shaun.” Olivia said holding her hand out for my wallet.

“So. Old address?”

“Yeah..”

“Let me guess you are living in a tent now?”

“Actually, not far off.”

“You’re joking…”

“Nope. I am currently in a four-person caravan.”

“Why a caravan?”

“House burnt down.”

“So, your house burnt down recent?”

“Two years.”

“Wow farm-boy why haven’t you moved back into-”

“Because I am cursed, and I could have set my street on fire.”

“Can you explain?”

“I can yes. But I am not going to. So instead, just trust that I am cursed.” I let out a yawn then and felt like I was going to collapse. “If you guys ain’t gonna… you know…” I slid my finger across my throat making a cutting sound. “And there really is a taxi out there for me, would you mind if I left. Because I am hanging.”

“Can you explain how you knew that the great one, was in trouble, and without just saying that you’re cursed?”

“If I tell you then y’all are gonna kill me or let me go right?”

“The second, Jack. We don’t hurt our friends.” I thought about what Olivia was saying and my now lightly poisoned gut thought that it rang true.

“I can try…”

“Excellent please follow me, we can go sit somewhere comfortable.” I nodded in agreement too tired to fight her. There was a burst of movement as big Birtha returned along side my red head who made a beeline right for me. She apparently showered and changed; her hair was still wet, but she looked good in gym clothes. Really good.

“Where are you taking him?” Birtha asked. Her English was good, but she had such a thick accent that her “where” sounded like “vare” and her him was closer to “khim”

“We were just going to head to the staff lounge so that we could hear his side of this miss Hildi.” She narrowed her eyes, at me, she looked to be considering something.

“Good. I wish to know to.” There was a brief exchange between her and Freyja, and Freyja was between us a second later, taking my left arm and clamping it to her chest.

“Is she always so handsy?” I asked Olivia, and I could see all the joy was gone, she was very pale and looked nervous with perspiration.

“She is not. No.” Hildi answered. Her and Freyja exchanged a few more words then and it brought a beautiful bright smile to my red head, who froze as we were mid stride, as I felt the letters on my yoga pants being traced, almost one freaking stitch at a time. It was bad enough that I was usually ticklish, but I was so dog tired that it worked in my favour. I looked to her face and found Freyja’s expression to be conflicted.

“She okay or what?” Hildi hissed, her nose wrinkled.

“How a sack of blood can be so callous with one as great as her…”

“Callous? I was asking a question.” I could tell from the get-go that Hildi and I were going to be best friends. Some sort of undulating mass moved beneath her skin as she shuddered looking almost through me right then.

“Forgive him Miss Hildi he knows not of the ways.” Olivia tried to interject. Hildi’s eyes bored into her, for a moment, before Hildi recomposed herself.

“It’s fine child.” She kept on walking. Freyja was poking and prodding me in all sorts of places and was keeping me quite thoroughly distracted.

“So I just came close to dying right?” I asked Olivia with a stage whisper. Her panicked stare answered my question, even as Hildi let out a peel of laughter like a pantomime villain. It was actually not too far from Jesse from team rocket if I am being honest with you. All “ho-ho-ho’s” instead of “ha-ha-ha’s”.

“Great I love being casually threatened.”