No... No, I don't think so.

I think Daiyu is cute and I have the hots for Xue if I am honest with myself. I’ve definitely had thoughts about Yang Mei and that isn- Well besides the Hydra God's mystical bullshit, I haven't even really thought about men that way. Orange though...

The memory of when he had woken up in a straw bed months ago came to mind. Memories had assaulted him and his tenuous sense of self. Some of those he could now tie to this new part of himself. His thoughts from those earlier days seemed so long ago. He took a breath when he realized he had begun pacing even faster.

I’m spiraling. I told myself then that I would take responsibility for myself, and I will not go back on that now. That I would be better. That I would have my revenge! Orange is just another part of me like any other. That became obvious when she woke up. I have to face it head on as I learn more about myself.

Fucking weird though. I hope the rest of me is less of a curve ball.

He ran a hand through his hair and shot Daiyu a glance.

Has she been watching the whole time?

Daiyu cocked her head.

"Sorry for acting weird," said Felix.

"Don't apologize, you've been weird since I first met you. So, it isn’t acting," she wrote and rose to her feet. "Perhaps we should continue this at another time."

She is trying to hide that she is flustered, or she is annoyed. Maybe both. Probably annoyed. I could push things more but with orange voice out of it, the urge to push things is manageable. Kind of nice.

"Yeah, I deserve that. How about I make it up to you and we have that spar you wanted."

"I would like that, but you seem to have too much on your mind. Come find me when you want to spar." wrote Daiyu.

Felix watched her go and ran a hand through his hair.

What do I do with this new revelation? Do I try to find something like being horny did for Orange to stimulate the other regions of my mind/soul? Would be guesswork but worth a try. It would be so much easier if I could narrow down the zones of my mind like I have with the orange zone. That took months of the orange voice being prolific. Who knows how long it would take if I tried blindly? If only I could look at my soul like the Hyrdra God did, but I can’t recall that image. I feel nauseous when I try. All I need is a starting point, a clue!

Wait... utility manuals? The orange voice suggested them as a convenience, but some are analysis-based. I don't need nor want a high-definition look that will make me sick, so in a way, they might be better. However, I've looked through the sect utility manuals and none were better than 'trash' according to the system. Do I have the points and time to make something of them?

"Daiyu!" said Felix, running over and grabbing Daiyu by the shoulder. She turned to look up at him. "You are from a family of assassins. What kind of information and observation techniques do you have?

Why didn't I think of this sooner? It was in front of my face this whole time.

"Why do you want to know?" she wrote.

"It's important," said Felix.

“Is this related to all that pacing?” wrote Daiyu.

"Yes actually. It's an issue that has been bothering me for a while. It's why I stopped kis-

She blocked his mouth with a hand, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Don't say it out loud, it's weird. Of course we have them. Every sect does."

"Are they any good?"

"Yes, some of the best. Why?"

“Daiyu, does one look at souls?”

"Souls?" wrote Daiyu.

Oops.

"Yes. I said souls," said Felix.

"I don't know," wrote Daiyu. “Never needed to find out. Our targets are living.”

"Of course, thanks," said Felix.

“Clear Sky sect should have one though.” wrote Daiyu.

Mother of god, I’ve been a massive idiot. Who inspected us for injuries so long ago? Elder Phallow of Clear Sky sect. But how do I get access? They didn't add any utility manuals to the contribution system.

"Felix, were you one of the disciples attacked during that attack on your sect over a year ago." Wrote Daiyu.

His mind halted for once, and a thrill of fear clawed up his chest. It infected his lungs and his head felt thick.

So this is why I didn't think about Elder Phallow. I've been repressing it. A panic attack. Cool, cool. It only triggered when she brought it up though. Let's get through this. Remember your promise, Felix.

She waited as he comported himself.

"It does, but Daiyu, how do you know about that? Is the Onooka clan spying on us?" said Felix.

"Every sect and clan pays attention to their surroundings. Idiot!" She wrote and poked him in the cheek with the chalk. "Your sect did clamp down on the information pretty well, but the news got out. It was inevitable when you hosted so many sects."

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"I haven't heard anything about that," said Felix. "People should be gossiping."

"Who would dare openly?" wrote Daiyu. "Everyone knows that your sect is the leader of the Alliance in all but name. You have twelve nascent souls. Who would risk bringing up such an embarrassment? Would have to be a bigger idiot than you to then talk about it while in your sect itself. Well, my uncle does but most people have too much sense. Besides, the details were pretty boring and there is a war going on."

"Boring? A story about a sect being attacked, a sect you just admitted was the strongest, is boring? That doesn't make any sense."

"Well, when my family found out they did consider not joining the alliance."

"What?!" said Felix, stepping back. "You were going to betray us?"

"Not betray, not join. Big difference. We thought you had offended someone too powerful. Someone who could come and go within your sect at their leisure. My uncle couldn't have pulled that off and we specialize in that. That means whoever did it was likely above nascent soul."

"Then why did you still join," said Felix, and fought to keep the hurt out of his voice. "I mean, why risk it?"

She shrugged.

"You weren't attacked again," said Daiyu. "Also, this was at the beginning of the alliance so don't hold it against us."

"So how much do you know about me then?" said Felix, eyeing her carefully. "And why are you telling me this now? Is this why you have been wanting to spar with me? Are you just spying on me?"

"No, no, no." she wrote hurriedly. "I told you that we didn't think much of the attack. We know a few disciples died but from what we gathered, everyone who survived had recovered by now. I only made the connection just now and that was a guess."

I wish I could see the truth in her eyes.

"Alright. You have always had my back," said Felix. "And it isn't fair if I hold that against you. We barely knew one another back then."

"Exactly!" she wrote, adding a smiling face. "I believe I have shown how reliable I am."

"Is reliability a great trait in an assassin?" he said.

"Of course, and I am a great assassin," she wrote, drawing a frown atop the smiley face. "Why are you being such an idiot?"

"Maybe I'm trying to relieve the tension," he said.

"Fine…" she wrote. "Am I right? Is that why you want observation techniques? For yourself?"

"Yes," said Felix. "Desperately."

She watched him for a moment, idly tapping her chalkboard. He wasn’t sure what she was looking for.

"Let me ask Uncle. He'll know if we have any. He also might know how to get some from Clear Sky."

"Wait!" said Felix, but she had already left.

So much for keeping it a secret from her uncle... He isn't even necessary since my Sect elders should be able to obtain them.

----

"That is going to be difficult," said Elder Harold, over interlocked fingers. "Are you sure you need this?"

Felix hadn't been able to find Elder Shen or Zhenzhen. They hadn't been in their usual haunts and none of the disciples had known their location either. A disciple had finally mentioned he knew where Elder Harold would be, and Felix found himself in a library nook much like the one Cixi had been in.

"Yes. I need to get a better look at my soul. Utility manuals from the other sects are my best bet."

"Are you sure?" rumbled the elder. "We have a great variety here. I've glanced through your body cultivation technique, and it is quite impressive. You said just now that you've had a breakthrough on your soul issue after advancing from body boiling 2 to body boiling 3."

"I double-checked before coming to you. We don't have any that even tangentially involves the soul," said Felix.

"You know I am the person who collected most of these books. Then you go and insult them as not good enough. I could take offense." said Elder Harold.

"And I have loved reading them, but few have anything to offer. I would need much more time to make anything special from them."

"And what is the rush young Felix?" said Harold. "Cultivation is a journey, not teleportation. You are already in the second realm in both Dantian and body cultivation. At just 18 years old. You have time."

"Time I can't afford to waste, Elder. What about the war?"

"The war is ultimately not your responsibility disciple. I know you made a huge contribution, but this isn't just your story. There are still manuals for you to read here and you can't know what you might find without reading them."

He doesn't know that I scanned them all with my system once to see if there were any 'hidden gems'.

"Yes, but we are the main characters of our own story." said Felix, "and I know what you are trying to say but I don't think I can waste time on the low chance of finding something special. I don't know how unwieldy my cultivation will become to fix my issue, but I am willing to bet it won't be quick. I can't afford to waste time."

Elder Harold leaned back into his chair and watched him. The man's bells jingled ever so softly with each breath.

"I am not sure you appreciate the situation we are in right now disciple," said Elder Harold.

"Situation?"

"Our leadership of the alliance isn't so absolute that we can command others without limit," said Harold. "Especially when our leadership is scattered over multiple fronts. We have to pay the empire back for upping the ante after all."

"Pay them back?" said Felix.

"Not important. What is important is that it was already difficult getting sects to contribute some of their manuals. They fought tooth and nail against the contribution system but relented when we pointed out only the weaker sects would be the main beneficiaries. After the scene you had with the dragon spear sect... let's say there is an extra eye on what benefits we give you. We can't act with impunity. Not on this."

"What about just Clear Sky sect?" said Felix.

"They are one of the most powerful sects and therefore have to listen to us the less."

"But I need to get access to utility manuals. I can forgo everything else."

"I'm afraid their sect is based around such manuals. Accessing those may be even harder than their core cultivation methods."

"What about the one Elder Phallow used? I can make it by with that alone."

"I don't know." said elder Harold. "He is more Brother Rong's friend than mine, but I can ask... You mentioned the Onooka heiress said you might get access to their manuals. That is strange. As good allies as they've been, they like all clans tend to be insular. More than even sects. You've made a good connection if it is true. But you indicated she knows about your soul issue?"

"She said as much, but it was guesswork."

"And does she know about what you can do with manuals?"

"I don't think so. Xue, Everglade, and Yang Mei know though. Xue is the only one who knows the details."

"Yes, but what has she been able to guess? You should know by now that you can't rely on others not thinking."

"What do we do then?" said Felix. "I, I don't want to fight Daiyu."

"Hrmph, of course, you don't." said Elder Harold and whispered, "You're as bad as Elder Shen."

"Sorry, what?"

"Nothing. Disciple Felix. What do you know of strategy and tactics?"

"Not much honestly. I've glanced at a few books."

"Then this is going to fall flat... how about this, how do you predict what people do?"

"You have to know what motivates them," said Felix.

"Precisely. This applies to warfare. When you can predict what you and your enemy are trying to do, planning is simple. However, humans are a confusing race and often buck the trend. A key skill you must learn is to contrive situations where you control the motivations. So, I ask you, what motivates the Onooka."

"Living. Being sneaky. Cultivation Um, they are also a clan unlike a sect so maybe family.”

“Exactly, cultivation. It is a common motivation but that also makes it easy to understand. So, we merely need to find a way to ensure they trust you to improve their manual. How we get them to trust you will be the tough part.”

“How does that help anything? We already knew this."

"Not at all for now, but it gives me an idea," said Harold, rising to his feet. He handed Felix a bag. "Here is another batch of books I was going to add to the library. I always like to go through them before I add them myself, but I am afraid I won't have time. Take a look to see if there is anything that could be of help to you and let me see what I can do about your book needs."