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+3 Hands

After the reveal Will made, the amount in favor rose. The ones that were for it to see the snake get trounced felt they would lose face if they changed their vote just because of this, and a bunch of others wanted to see a tamed Colossal Lightning Snake. Plus a few who, like the sect leader, had a grudge against Chen Jun.

Will was suddenly reminded of the soon-to-be dead man's fiance. He turned to the sect leader.

“Make sure you bwing Ranna and Yan Qingxue to watch, okay?”

“Mhm. Alright.”

The sect leader was broken right now. Colossal Lightning Snake? How would someone tame that? It's a Colossal Lightning Snake! It's more a natural disaster than it is a snake!

<<~I'm almost there. Where should I go?~>>

“Porridge is awmost here. Where will the fight be?”

The sect leader tried to think of a good place. Probably those plains? Yeah, that would work.

“There's some plains by the sect, on the side opposite the town. That should work.”

<~Plains, side opposite the town.~>

<<~Alright, got it.~>>

“Sect weader, can we go over to meet Porridge? I wanna get this fight done soon so it can rank up.”

Huh? R-r-rank up? Colossal Lightning Snake? Rank up? Wouldn't that be a Stormbringer Serpent? What the fuck? If a Colossal Lightning Snake was a natural disaster, a Stormbringer Serpent would be like several natural disasters in quick succession.

And Will would have a tamed one?

The sect leader was getting a headache.

“Fine. Anyone have an issue with doing it now?”

Everyone was already here, and it seemed the snake was on its way already. No one objected.

“Alright. Then it's decided.”

After a quick stop at the sect leader's house to pick up Ranna and Yan Qingxue, they arrived at the plains.

Chen Jun was desperately trying to figure out a way to survive against a Colossal Lightning Snake. His results were unsurprising.

Now that they'd landed, Will decided to fill the girls in on the situation.

“Chen Jun did an oopsie and sacwificed a bunch of women, so now he has to fight my snake to the death to survive.”

“Wait, that's where the missing women went? They were sacrificed?”

Yan Qingxue seemed to know a bit about this.

“Yep.”

After she fully grasped the situation, she felt incredibly relaxed. That meant no more engagement, right? This was amazing.

Ranna was glad to see her happy, and also glad to see Chen Jun not. She didn't really know how Will managed to do this so fast. Nonetheless, she was glad it was done.

After a few minutes, Porridge finally arrived. Everyone looked at the towering beast as it stood? lay? sat? As it somethinged there.

A hiss rang through the spectators.

“~Hey.~”

Will responded.

“~Hey. That's your target.~”

He pointed at the terrified Chen Jun.

“~I'll let you know when it starts.~”

“~Alright.~”

After another minute, it was time for the battle to begin. Chen Jun had readied every trump card he owned, and headed to his side of the field. Porridge took the opposite side.

<~Oh. By the way, if you can, it'd be nice if I could get that ring he's wearing after you're done.~>

“~I'll try.~”

And with that hiss that sounded like a snakely battlecry to everyone but Will, the fight began.

It didn't last long.

Chen Jun used a few one time use treasures to attack. Porridge got a wee little booboo.

Chen Jun tried to outmaneuver Porridge, making use of its big size. Porridge outmaneuvered Chen Jun. It wasn't a Colossal Turtle Snake, it was a Colossal Lightning Snake, so he might as well have been trying outmaneuver lightning.

After a bit of entertaining itself with the human, it decided to end it. In an instant, Chen Jun found a fang piercing through his chest and died to the venom. Will smiled proudly.

“Yeah! Woohoo!”

Will was the only one cheering, everyone else trying to imagine how they would've fared in that fight, and repeatedly coming to the conclusion that they wouldn't survive.

Will was having a great time, at least. He headed over and grabbed Chen Jun's ring, finding it full of boring things like pills and spirit stones. Lame.

He still put it on, though.

After grabbing the ring, he saw Porridge start glowing white. Was it doing the thing? Becoming a Stormbringer Serpent?

Then he noticed it was getting smaller. Why was it getting smaller? Huh? After a bit, the white glow went away and Porridge was…

A woman? A snake woman. Huh? It looked storm-related, but it certainly wasn't a serpent.

It looked like the torso of a twelve foot tall woman, with tanned skin, muscles, and black hair. She had white eyes with a bit of light green around pupils that looked halfway between snake and human. But Porridge wasn't twelve feet tall. They just had a torso that belonged on a twelve foot tall person.

Underneath the torso was a long snake tail. It was dark blue, with white on top that looked like a cloud. The sides looked like a scene of storms, with little lightning bolts raining down from the “cloud” at the top, as well as what looked like rain and snow and hail and wind and stuff. It seemed like it was all moving as well, only really slowly. It was very pretty.

Will wasn't really upset that it wasn't a Stormbringer Serpent. This could at least fit inside a building.

Porridge was looking down at their newly grown chest, lifting it up with their newly grown arms. They were also naked. Obviously. Where would the clothes come from?

“~Porridge, you were a girl?~”

Porridge shook its? her? new head. Then did it again because it was a new experience.

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“~Colossal Lightning Snakes reproduce asexually.~”

The implications of that were honestly kind of terrifying. Snake mitosis? Weird.

“~So… I don't think this is a Stormbringer Serpent.~”

Porridge nodded. Then did it again.

“~I don't think so either.~”

“~Then what is it?~”

Porridge thought for a moment, then spoke.

“Stormflower Lamia.”

That wasn't in hisses. That was real speech. Though it sounded like someone speaking for the first time. Well, it would sound like that no matter what since it was someone speaking for the first time, but whatever.

“~You spoke? Also how do you know that?~”

“~I just do.~”

“~Weird.~”

They stood in silence for a moment. Porridge was playing with their hair now.

“~Do you like it? The new form.~”

“~I like having limbs. They're pretty cool.~”

“~That's good, then.~”

“~Yeah.~”

Will got the feeling Porridge had tuned out of the conversation by now. She seemed preoccupied playing with the new limbs she'd just grown.

Will turned to greet the crowd with a thumbs up.

“Porridge wikes it!”

The crowd was unsurprised, considering what Porridge was doing. Though it wasn't smiling, it certainly seemed to be enjoying itself.

Will remembered the beast space.

“~Mind if I try something?~”

“~Go ahead.~”

Will recalled Porridge into the beast space. They fit in there now. Since it was actually pretty big.

Will turned to the group.

“Alwight, show's over.”

And with that, everyone went back home. Chen Jun was pretty much forgotten now. Which was fair. A giant snake lady was a lot more interesting than some guy.

Will, Ranna, Yan Qingxue, and the sect leader all headed home. Or home for three of them, anyway.

When Will entered his room, he immediately brought out Porridge.

She was touching her tail now. She seemed to really be enjoying the whole “having hands” thing. Well, it seemed fair enough. He'd probably act the same way if he grew a tail or something.

Will decided to talk to the spooky book. He brought it out from his ring and opened it.

“Hey.”

The book responded.

“Yo.”

“You were talking about gifts befowe wight?”

“Yeah.”

“What does that mean?”

“It's like a little thing that helps you.”

That did in fact describe a way the word “gift” could be used. It didn't really explain anything, though.

“Okay. Wike how?”

“Like basic cultivation increases, ways to burn life for power. I have others, too, but no one understood those so I stopped giving them.”

Will was intrigued. Things no one understood, huh?

“Things no one understands? Can I twy some?”

“Can you give me a sacrifice?”

Will opened his ring and brought out a purple goat.

“That good?”

“It's better when they're killed in front of me, but since it's such a high quality goat, I guess I'll accept it as payment.”

The goat got sucked into the book. And the book breathed a sigh of relief.

“That really hits the spot. So you wanted one of the ones no one likes, right?”

Will nodded.

“Alright. Then, how about this one?”

Will suddenly felt something. A third hand. It was currently floating in front of him. Looking at it, he noticed it was a dark purple and mostly see-through. It didn't really look human either. The hand had six fingers, with a thumb on each side, and it kind of looked a bit like it was wearing metal armor. But like evil metal armor, with a bunch of pointy bits and each finger ending in a point as well.

Opening and closing it a few times, he noticed it didn't feel like metal. It felt more like really textureless skin. Or like rubber without all the friction and the screechy noises. He also noticed that he could feel touch with it.

He decided to test his new hand out. He moved the hand towards Porridge, booping her nose. As he moved it farther away, it got harder to move. And it hurt a bit, too. As soon as he stopped actively keeping it over there, the hand snapped back like elastic.

“You're taking this pretty well. Everyone else I gave this to got all freaked out.”

“Why?”

“How the hell would I know? Apparently humans are allergic to convenience or something.”

Weird. Will thought it was pretty great. He finally had two usable hands again. It was also pretty fun. Like a floating yoyo. Or like one of those sticky hands that would always end up on the ceiling.

He played around with it for a bit more. He stretched it out again to feel how it felt. Now that he thought about it more, there was something strange about the way it hurt. It wasn't actually the hand that hurt. It was like it hurt in an imaginary arm between the hand and him.

He held the hand out just slightly, trying to figure out what the feeling was about. It felt like a straight line to his mid-torso. There wasn't anything there, but it seemed like the hand was probably connected at that point. Right in the middle of his torso.

It seemed it could reach a bit farther than his regular hand did without stretching. It could reach his feet without him bending over. It was a pretty good range. He'd have been satisfied with a range like that on its own, to be honest. That it could stretch and go farther as well just made it even better.

Putting it side-by-side with his actual hand, it seemed to be a lot bigger. Probably around the size of his hand when he was twelve. Maybe bigger. Or smaller. He couldn't tell, since he didn't have it… on hand. He chuckled a little at his own pun.

Well, he was certainly satisfied. As much as he was able to ignore the pain by now, the fact that he always had a sword in his hand was pretty inconvenient. He'd mostly gotten used to it at this point, but it was pretty annoying to have to figure out how to do things with one hand so often.

Will would've liked to get more gifts, but he was out of goats.

“Thanks fow the hand.”

He smiled at the book.

“No problem. Thanks for the goat. And the help.”

Well, that was that. Will had to find something else to do now. Porridge was playing with her teeth now. That gave Will a thought.

Would Porridge even be able to fight, anymore? Since her mouth was open, Will could see her teeth. Though she had two big fangs still, they were nowhere near as big as her old ones. Obviously. Her old ones were bigger than the size her head was now.

From what little he'd seen of her fighting style, it was pretty damn reliant on being a giant snake. She'd probably have to learn a human martial art. Or something like one, since he had a feeling she'd struggle with the footwork part.

“~Hey, Porridge. Are you still able to fight?~”

Porridge paused mid-fang rub. The color drained from her face. Well, that answered that question.

Porridge turned to Will, finger out of her mouth.

“~Y-… you'll feed me, right?~”

“~Yeah, of course. If you starve, I'll be stranded here.~”

Porridge calmed down.

“~You probably won't need as much food since you've shrunk, anyway.~”

Porridge's eyes widened a little bit. That was right. Since she was so big, she needed to eat so much that by the time she'd hunted something to eat, she'd be hungry again. She was always hungry. The prospect of not being hungry for once was incredibly enticing.

Will remembered the food he'd been given. Though it wasn't big enough for the old Porridge, it would work as a meal or two for the current one. He brought it out in front of him and pointed at it.

“~Food.~”

Porridge looked at the box that supposedly was food. It was made out of wood, which wasn't edible, so the food must be inside. Which meant she had to open it. With her hands. She slithered over and tried to open it.

After two full minutes, she finally managed to get it open. Inside, she was met with… little round things.

Will was confused, too. They looked like big pills. Did snakes eat pills? Were these actually pills? Maybe they were, like, grain balls or something. But weren't snakes carnivores? Why grain balls?

They didn't look very appetizing to Porridge, but she decided to give it a shot. She picked one up with her hand, and put it in her mouth.

It was good! She didn't know what it was, but it was good! She swallowed it whole. She hadn't quite figured out human teeth yet.

Will saw her reaction. It was certainly positive. Were they really that good? He picked one up and tried it himself.

They really were pretty good. It tasted kind of like deep fried salt and had a soft texture similar to a potato. If he had to say his least favorite part of the experience, it would probably be how loudly Sarah was laughing at him.

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He hadn't actually thought of that. Still, they actually did in this case, so it didn't really matter.

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Will grabbed another tamed beast food ball thing and started eating it.

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Sarah was starting to think Will might be telling the truth. Which was honestly worse.

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Fast food? What does the food's speed have to do with anything?

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Will decided to ignore her and eat another beast food ball.

He needed to get Porridge some martial arts, then? That reminded him, he hadn't practiced his own martial arts for a long time. He decided to do that.

He unsheathed Sarah and started practicing the movements, Porridge staring as he did.

After a bit, he was reminded of the SDSMG by a movement that would've been perfect to add a space drag to. He decided to work on figuring out how to mix SDSMG abilities into his martial arts.

He practiced for six hours, and by the end, he wasn't fumbling at all. He was now able to execute a beautiful sword dance whenever he wished. He'd also learned how to make it really gross and weird.

It was a huge success. It was also pretty late. And he was tired. He hopped into bed and went to sleep.

Will woke up to a knock on his door again, and like always, he was taken to the big rose area.

Yan Qingxue was still here. He wasn't sure why she was still here. Romance? Perhaps. She seemed happy at least.

And then Porridge showed up. Just slithered on in. She hissed at Will.

“~Good morning.~”

Will hissed back.

“~Good morning.~”

The sect leader, Ranna, and Yan Qingxue turned to the snake who was hissing at them and getting hissed at. They didn't know what the hisses meant, but the snake woman looked to be in a good mood, so they probably didn't mean anything too bad.

The fact that Will knew how to speak snake wasn't actually all that surprising to them, either. They'd already seen yesterday, and Will knowing snake language was far from the weirdest thing about Will.

Porridge was still naked, as always. He should probably do something about that at some point. Maybe hand her off to Ranna and Qingxue? Then they'd go clothes shopping and hang out and stuff.

Somehow he doubted it. Sure, that's what happened in the manga he read, but there usually wasn't a giant snake woman, and the other two characters usually didn't just see the first one kill a guy in an instant the day before.

They also couldn't communicate. Porridge only spoke in hisses, and didn't understand human speech.

Well, whatever. He could bring Porridge clothes shopping himself. He'd figure it out. Actually, did she even want clothes?

“~Do you wanna wear something?~”

“~Why do you ask?~”

“~Because you're naked.~”

“~I was always naked.~”

“~You wore a rope that one time.~”

“~I guess that's true.~”

“~So, do you wanna wear something else?~”

“~Sure.~”

That settled it, then. They were going clothes shopping after this.

Will had an uneventful cultivation using the corpses of two big badger-looking things. The only thing of note was that Porridge was watching.

After the cultivation was out of the way, it was time to head out.

“~Alright, we're going now.~”

Will and Porridge headed out the front door. Then Will realized the issue. The cliff. Porridge was looking on in confusion. She hadn't known they were this high up until now, since she had been in the beast space until Will got to his room.

She slithered over to the edge and looked down. That was a really long way down. Will walked over beside her.

Could Porridge survive a fall like that? As long as this rank up hadn't been some kind of downright ridiculous downgrade, she absolutely would. Then, just have her pick him up and hop down? He decided to get a second opinion.

“~Hey Porridge, could you jump down there safely?~”

Porridge thought about it. Using Will's height as a comparison, she could tell the amount she'd shrunk by. Looking down again with that in mind, it wasn't really all that far. So it seemed totally safe.

“~Definitely.~”

“~Could you bring me down with you safely?~”

She thought about it. She couldn't see any reason she wouldn't be able to.

“~I don't see any reason I couldn't.~”

Well, that settled it.

“~Alright. Then, pick me up and jump down.~”

Will turned around and held his arms out to the sides as Porridge bent down and lifted him up with both hands. Then, she jumped off the edge of the cliff, making sure she was face up so Will didn't get crushed underneath her.

She did that thing that made it feel like they weren't moving again, so the fall was uneventful.

Soon enough, they landed, Porridge making a huge indent in the ground. Then, after the giant dust cloud cleared a little, everyone began freaking out.

Well, a giant snake woman just fell from the sky, so it wasn't an odd reaction. Will decided not to bother with them at the moment.

“~Next, we go that way.~”

Will pointed in the direction of the market area he'd been to earlier.

Porridge twirled around into an upright position and headed off at very much not full speed. Because full speed would just have them hitting the sect's outer wall. Porridge was a really fast snake.

They took a full minute to reach their destination, since Porridge was moving slower so she didn't ram into anything by mistake.

“~Is this the place?~”

“~Yep.~”

Now, it was shopping time.