Back to present

He's still swinging that knife of his while yelling. Now that I look, how comes there is no one around? Even though a crime happened recently here, it's still the center of the city, you would expect to see more-

"Still confused..." does he plan to continue that sentence? "Wimp?" is he seeking my approval?

"Good one, yeah. Keep them coming." this should buy me a bit more time, I'm almost the-and he's up to my face, squatting.

"You..." he's squinting his eyes. It's not like you can find inspiration from my face you moron. I pride myself a bit with my face you know? However, this might be just the chance, I have the lube in my hand now.

12 hours ago

Death seems like something to aspire to, when your lover is taken so brutally from you. "If I find that killer, I will make him or her paint me a fresh crosswalk," so I say, but I know myself better. "What is this crosswalk?" I haven't been on this road for so long, that I forgot just how depressing it is. The streets are narrow and the sidewalks really large. It doesn't allow for long or wide crosswalks, a truly atrocious act from humanity.

"No honey, I promise, it's not what you think." that man, on the other side of this four meters long crosswalk, seems to have a bad day himself. His wife or girlfriend, seems to have caught him in the act as she swings that phone. If it were me, I would probably blank out after like thirty seconds, maybe less.

"Then what is this you cheating bastard?!" what is that now? A deluxe edition lube?! I only heard of them in obscure forums. And she-she's trying to throw it?! Heresy!

"Honey please, if you'll let me just expla-" and she threw it, to the left...where I pass through... almost falling on the street. Heh heh.

Just walking through, nothing to see. And, here we are. "Godly perfume. Able to lube the driest of places and leave a divine sensation," I bet it does, the price tag is "Fifty bucks?!" such an outrageously priced item shouldn't be left for desecration on these desolate streets. "So I'll just do everyone a favor and-".

"Easy now. Do you not know the rule of the streets, babyface?" what is that now?! A hobo, and he's challenging me. That one cut right through me, but I can't let him see that. These people are animals, if they smell lack of confidence, they will bite.

"Heeh?! Rule of the street you say. And what would that be, you dirtrag?" dirtrag? That's like calling someone by their name, why would he be offended?

"Ye, you punk. Everything that touches the street, it's ours." ours he says. I don't see anyone else. But for all I know, they might hide in the 'city' below. Now that I think about it, I haven't spotted him anywhere, so that adds up. And yet, I can't just let it be, as if their rules matter to me.

"You say the street, but as far as I'm concerned, that lube next to my feet, is till on the sidewalk." I may not have a comeback, however, that should cut deep enough. From my work experience, I know that nothing hurts more than being told to the face har-did he just kick the lube onto the street?!

"Whatevs you mean pink cheeks? The lube is clearly on the street." this swine. He thinks he can mess with me like that? No issue though, he just made a huge mistake, since the lube is now touching the crosswalk. And if there is someone in this world that knows how to make use of a crosswalk...it's me! "Oy, what ya think you doin'?" what does it look like? I'm placing myself strategically, between you and the lube.

"You don't know what I had to suffer. For me, to reach this point of desperation for some lube... is no mere coincidence!" my eyes should tell him enough of my suffering.

"I-I didn't know bud. Ya had it that rough?" you bet I did. "I meself lost my family in a fire some time ago." wait, what? "My house wasn't insured, so they took it from me." hold up, just stop "I also lost my job, since my boss was having a secret affair with my wife, and she was the only reason he kept me-".

"Can you shut up for a hot minute?! I can see what you have in your left back pocket, you animal!" it's a wallet full of cash, so full in fact, it barely holds itself inside the pants! "There is the wallet. But some could say you simply resulted to stealing and so on after losing everything. I, however, know better." it's how I survived all these years with my insane work schedule and no social interactions "Anime! You watch so much anime, that there is leather imprinted in the fabric of your pants!".

"Tsk. So you noticed, that I'm a weeb?" damn right I did. The smell will make most think you are a mere hobo, but I know that stench. Chips, soda, sweat and more fluids, all combined, fused together inside the pants, which you only change when the smell becomes too much for you. If he had changed those before coming here, I might've fallen for it, but no weeb does so on a "Friday is when the new episodes come out. If only this happened tomorrow, this could've been easy.".

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"Heh. Too bad, it seems we both watch the same stuff. Although, it looks like today, for both of us, it wasn't enough. As it made you come out of your hiding hole and I have to go through all this trouble for some lube," especially given what that killer did to my muse.

"Ehh, I guess this won't end up as either wants, unle-" he's trying to tackle me? Too bad weeb, your speed is said to average at arou-

"AGHHH!" what was that dash?! He crossed those ten meters in a split second. "What the actual-".

"I really wanted this lube man." no shit, you probably sprained your legs for this "This week has been at it's hardest for me, and it should be for you too." what is he talking about now? "Two in a row. What is wrong with this world?!" I ask that myself now and since before "They cancelled both episodes!" no...

"You-you don't mean...what I think you mean, do you?" he has to be joking, of all days, they had to cancel both-

"Peachy Ultra Sexy Super Yandere and Barbara On Official Beats Seconds!" those monsters! "I cried all day because of it under my blanket. Then, I heard them from up there where I live." he's pointing to the apartments behind him, they look pretty expensive. "These two were arguing, and it made me laugh at how she caught him. It reminded me of Peachy having arguments with Yanodo." how intriguing. "So, I came down as fast as I could, used my usual routes, in the sewers," of course "And listened intently. Then, I saw it." I know how it goes from here.

"You don't know," I still struggle to breathe, but I manage to lift myself up a bit "What I lost. It's not just the anime. The crosswalk, I lost her too," my words seem to reach his heart.

"How...how precious was she to you?" if you ask me that, then there is no better way to answer a weeb than-

"As much as Peachy cares, secretly, for Yanodo." his face seems to lighten up. I now see some tears coming down his cheeks.

"Is-is-is that so?" he sobs and brushes away his tears. "Here then," he just tossed me the lube?! "You need it more than I do." you bet I do "When you go back home, make sure you give her a bit. Let her see how much she means to you.".

"I will. I promise," we then said goodbye. He went back into the sewers, and I claim the prize.

Back to present

I can feel the cap. He's still trying to figure out an insult, he really should get better at this.

"Babyface!" did he see through me?! That cut deep. If I weren't prepared since earlier, this might've stunned me, but now it's too late midnight murderer. "I think this one did pretty well, don't you-"

"Squeeeeeeze" the lube goes straight from below my waist into his eyes. It has good pressure to it, that's deluxe for ya.

"AHHHH! My eyes you peachface!" is he getting better the angrier he is?! Now's my chance though, just do the same at the bottom and-

"I'm free!" and he's on the ground, squirming about, I should take his kni-"Huh?! My foot is stuck again?!" the damn paint! How is he doing it?

"I'll kill you! You hear shitface?!" now, there is no reason to go that far, is it? "Once I get this *sniff* lube? Once I get this deluxe lube out of my eyes, I'll murder you!" hardly any threat when you swing behind you. That means he doesn't know my position, so he must've used that thing of his on every white stripe. I feel like I can free my leg with a bit of lube.

"Christian." what is this voice? Where is it from? "I'm inside your head, Christian" then you can hear me like this? "I can. Now liste-" what do you want with me? "..." sorry, I'm not used to keeping my thoughts silent. "Now, listen to me Christian. You might think you can run away from here, but you can't." what do you mean? "The midnight killer." lovely name I must say "The midnight killer created an alternate space, which comprises the entire crosswalk." an alternate space you say. So you're saying there is no way out? "Yes. Or rather, if you try to ste-" then will I have to kill him? "Not necessarily. You can use me to defeat the killer." use you, how? "You know me best than anyone, Christian, so you tell me." you're the crosswalk?! And you talk inside my head...the midnight killer has powers over the crosswalk...I find it hardly any coincidence for all of this to be more than a dream! "Christian, this is not a dream, you felt that lube on your body, didn't you?" oh, yeah. You're right, what am I thinking. "Now, choose Christian, how are you going to use me?"

"Ah. Finally, all the lube it out of my eyes. Now, where are you, pu-" I can't let him finish that. "What are you wearing?".

"This is how I choose to use her. By wearing it!" I told the crosswalk that I will use the stripes to surround my body and make an armor out of it. This feels like wearing spandex, like what I would use when I was little and played pretend. But it feels as if nothing can break through. And there is the-

"Stab! Stab! Stab!" he is trying to cut through, although I just told him this acts as an armor. "Stab! Sta-" and with that punch I shut his mouth off.

"Teh. So, you take the crosswalk itself and wear it, huh?" precisely, and it can also- "Then I will activate mine!" shit, was I- I was standing on a strip! "This is the end crosswalk knight!" I hope that won't stick "Once you reach the bottom, I'll seal you off and let you suffo-" this is the other part of my ability, I can unleash the crosswalk as parts of my body. And since not even knives can scratch it, it packs a bit of a punch.

"He seems to be knocked out. Do you think this will allow me to-" and the space around me seems to change now. I guess I put a stop to this. "I should now call the police," the paint seems to slide off of me, like water down a slide and rearrange itself on the street.

1 hour later

"Ahh," finally at home. I don't know why, but I expected this place to be different. "I guess I can't shake off what just happened to me yet." maybe some sleep will help this. The police arrived pretty fast, but I was already out of there. I hope they can make him answer for his crimes "Since everything happened inside that space." and there isn't much evidence for what he did. "Ahh," whatever. Tomorrow I must go to work once again, so I better catch some sleep...

"I can't sleep!" how can I?! I just beat some murderer on a crosswalk using some sort of super power! "And that voice. So beautiful, tender and-" damn it, I still have the lube and given my excitement, I can't say I have pure thoughts right now. "But maybe it will help me sleep." I don't think so actually, this is by far the most excitement I had in so long. "I guess I can't help it. It's been four years, nine months, three weeks and two days since...I called in sick!".