I push the door to the side, struggling a bit, books mounted against it. Once inside, I can see three windows in front of me leading to the right, where, near the end of the narrow room, the desk of, whom I can tell is, the boss stays in just the daylight, no lights turned on. I look around for a bit and I almost slip on a piece of paper. What is this, now that I look closer... porn?! You don't mean that this whole place is covered in-

"Don't mind those, Christian," the boss tells me from my right, the smell of hot chocolate making its way to me. "I get hundreds... no, thousands of fake reports every day. And some folk think it's funny to send me such material," I can see him smirking from over here though.

"Reports?" I ask. My boss, who is now my previous, didn't tell me anything about the job, not that I requested anything in particular myself. "Are you a task force or something?" I ask another thing, making my way however I can between the piles of, what I can tell are not actually books, documents filled to the brim with papers, and to my new boss' desk.

"You could say, we're 'problem solvers'," he tells me, not looking away from his monitor, typing fast and aggressively, his voice deep and rested. "People from around the city and even outside, send us papers regarding unusual sightings, reports and the like," I listen to him as I finally make my way through, sitting myself on a stacked pile of documents that buried the chair in front of the desk. "My job is to answer all of them, whether they're fake or true. It's how the mayor wants this job to be done," archaic means of solving issues. "Your job," here we go, let's see. Will it be another desk job? Will I have to make my way up the corporate ladder by first cleaning toilets and the like?! I'm prepared for it! "Is to do what I do, and more," except for that that is.

"Isn't one enough to do the job, sir?" I realise some help may be needed, but doing more than him, wouldn't that make me the one to stand higher?

He stops typing after my question, moves his monitor away from his face. Black eyes, a few lines around their corners, showing an older age, yet perfectly thick and beautiful, short black hair, combined with a . He holds his hands flat on the desk in front of him, slight twitching coming from his index fingers. "Job? You will not do my job, Christian. What you will do is try to keep up with me while doing your job," I see, he wants to overwork me while paying me just as much.

He massages his eyes with his right hand a bit, sighs, and looks back at me "I can tell you're not really the kind of guy to be overworked," you got that twisted, "I can read it on your face," I've been staring at you without moving for the past three minutes. "So, here's the deal, you only have to do half of my work and then you can do your actual job, which you're paid for," I'm paid hourly, so I don't see how that matters. "But okay, seeing as you keep looking at me like that, only a quarter of my work," maybe if I stare a bit longer he will just drop it. *Thud* he slams his fist on the desk, "Fine! Just three hours. You have to look three hours through the reports and you can do your work, deal?!".

"Deal," we shake hands. He seems defeated, even though I haven't said a word. "By the way, sir, what is my job exactly?".

"Have you not paid attention, Christian?" I did, surprisingly, but talking of reports and 'problem solving,' isn't exactly clear for what I have to do. He massages his eyes again, the skin turns red, "You are the one who solves the issues detailed on the reports!". Wait, what kind of issues are those? He mentioned unusual sightings and the like. Does he mean- "You're going on the field, where the reports come from," shit.

1 hour later

I got the basic gist of it. From tomorrow, I will be spending my first three hours sorting the 'bad' reports from the 'good' ones. The 'good' ones are what concern me, since I have to take care of them. And from what boss told me, these reports concern really strange stuff. The kind of stuff that is related to the Crosswalk Killer. "I guess there is no point in thinking too hard on it for now though," I should see tomorrow how bad this is when I spend most of my work hours on the field.

"The issue now... is that I must go out there, head back home," I've been watching through the windows of the office building for some time, and didn't notice any of the gangsters. The receptionist, Cecillia, doesn't seem to acknowledge my existence, she just keeps typing at her keyboard. "She also doesn't seem to mind me whispering to myself," also good.

Some people are passing by, it's afternoon and this SIS building doesn't seem to have anyone working here besides boss and Cecillia. "Seems safe enough," only a small cough from Cecillia breaks the silence and makes me jump a little. But it seems pretty safe outside, no one is being harassed or the like.

1 hour later

"Okay," now I'm definitely ready. Check again, lube, right pocket, phone, left pocket, leather belt, around waist. Good, good. *Haah, phwoo* breath in, breath out. I open the door, peek around to my left, where I came from, then to my right, where I'll be heading to not go by that building again. I put my right foot outside, both hands in my pockets, pushing the door open with my elbows. "See you tomorrow Cecillia," I say my goodbye out of habit.

"Mkay," she responds. I was afraid that I might look like a loser or an idiot for standing around for so long, but she doesn't seem to care. Now that I'm outside, *huff, huff, huff* I start running to my right, try to get out of here as fast as-*thump* I hit something. And it's-

"Yo, boss, 'tis the guy?" shit, shit, shit, shit. The whole gang, why are they coming from that direction?!

"Didn't you bastards say he left two hours again?! What have we been searching for?" the gang leader asks. I see now. If I weren't cowering for so long, I might've escaped this.

I lift myself, pat my knees as I'm shaking violently, yet trying to hide it. "I can destroy all of you," did that just escape my mouth?!

"Heh, is that so," one at the back says, there's about fifteen of them. He pushes forward and... it's the buff guy! Why the hell is he part of the gang?! "You hear that boss, this wimp thinks he can take us on!" they all burst out into laughter. While my physique is decent, I guess to a bunch of buff and large brutes like them, I look like a shrimp.

"T-that's not what I w-wanted to say," I murmur, they giggle, probably sensing my weakness.

Stolen novel; please report.

"What's that? Speak louder, or is there a d*ck down your throat?!" the buff guy mocks me, and they all burst into laughter. I don't have anything to say back, I'm not even sure how to escape this situation. "Should we do it to him, boss?" oh no, I know what they're thinking. *Rustle rustle* from the other street, amidst the laughter, my ears pick any other sound given my state of panic, and I hear the rustle between the bushes as well. I think I can also hear some voi-the kids?! I can see the camera peeking through the leaves, ready to capture another low moment of my life.

"You shits!". Silence befalls after I scream towards the kids, my head turns to see them all standing still, their faces staring into nothingness. Maybe that's what I needed against these dick slapping assholes, authorit-

"Good job Christian, holding them like this," I hear the voice of my boss from behind, and soon enough, he passes by my shoulder, now in front of me. He stands one head shorter than all of them. Yet, with his hands inside his suit pants, straight back and casual look towards them, he looks more menacing than all of them combined. Not even the gang leader is saying anything. "You bunch of freeloaders, bottom barrel losers," he cuts through them with a bunch of insults, "tell Nataelo that if you lot try to lay a hand on my new right hand man, it will end much like in 87," I wonder what that means. They all frown and avoid their sight away from him, except for, whom I previously assumed to be, the gang leader. He makes his way from the back, only a bit shorter than the buff guy and a couple other brutes.

He moves his hips slightly, showing some sort of defiance towards boss as he walks. Then, he rips his pants apart, his penis bare in the open, which means he didn't wear any... anyway. He starts going around him while making those *sflop, sflop, sflop* noises by smashing his penis from side to side. If I were the boss, I would've probably crawled into a ball and cried. He doesn't though, he stands just as straight and not the least visibly perturbed. Maybe he fell unconscious while standing. But no! I hear a chuckle from him, his head lowering and his chin touching his chest. Then, when the 'leader' of this gang stops for a moment in front of him to do his *sflop, sflop* from side to side, boss grabs him by the nuts!

"Oh, you must be one of the new guys Nataelo appointed, I see he didn't instruct you properly," he tightens his grip on the poor man's nuts, they turn blue. He closes his face on his ear, the gang 'leader' hunches over from the pain. "Now, let me show you how it's done," then boss, without even undressing himself, makes those terrible noises himself. *SFLOP, SFLOP, SFLOP* the noise is twice as powerful, even though covered by both pants and underwear, I presume. The whole gang, their 'leader' as well, standing in shock, almost crying. He stops abruptly, which seems to make them even more sad.

"Please don't stop! Finish what you started!" the 'leader' makes a desperate plea while holding on to his blue nuts. So that's how it is. They're mesmerised by the sound, or rather, hypnotised.

"You low scum don't know what it means to be a dick flapper. Why should I bother to bestow my skills upon you?!". He seems mad at them, as if they're his kids and they've deeply disappointed him.

"But master ple-" the 'leader' tries to beg.

"Nothing! Back between the blocks, like the rats you all are. And don't forget to send my message to Nataelo," boss commands them. The 'leader' is helped up by the buff guy and another brute. They seem angry at him, not that he blue balled the 'leader' or that he insulted them, no, a deep hatred for not finishing what he started. Truly disturbing.

"I-is it done?" I ask still shocked. Boss gives me a hand, lifts me back to my feet, the gang scrambling between the buildings, as he commanded.

"For now, it is," for now he says. Meaning, there could be future encounters. "This is merely a simple dispute, but given what I did, they might summon Nataelo," so this is some gang war thing, and boss is an ex gang leader or something. "It's been around twenty years since I won that," he's monologuing. "I was hoping I wouldn't be confronted with this again, but-" my mind drifted off. I wonder if there are more gangs like this one, or more of these weirdos around.

This pretty much seems likely to develop into something I wouldn't want to be part of. But now I'm hired here, so there's little I can do. Of course, your average Joe would just leave, but I never quit a job, it just isn't in my blood. I either move from one to another, or stay. Wait, just remembered, I saw the kids aga- "Because he probably thinks he has the larger dick, he will come for me," oh, he almost finished monologuing. "He doesn't, I promise that Christian," he puts his hand on my left shoulder, it seems like we bonded while I wasn't listening. Maybe a promotion will be in store for me.

"I'm counting on you, boss," I look at him with a smile and trusful-he glares at me as if he has no clue what I'm talking about. "I-is something wrong, boss?".

"Were you not listening?" no, what did I miss? "Let me repeat: you're going to draw him here, so I can fight him. Because he probably thinks he has the larger dick, he will come for me.". Me?! Why me?!

"Sir, I'm still fresh, shouldn't you have someone more proper to take care of it?" there should be someone. There is no way I'm the most capable, I also don't want myself involved in anymore of these weird conflicts.

"Unfortunaetly no Christian. My other employees are working in other building around the city, and the deed must be done today, as I told you," my mind makes me pay a dear price for not listening. "Besides," he slaps me on the back, one hand still in his pocket, "you're not a field worker for nothing, Christian.". While he has a point, that shouldn't presume solving gang disput- he hands me a paper. It has the terms of my hiring, I follow along his finger, 'dispose of ghosts, help the elderly, clean the backyards... solve dick slapping issues?!' how the hell did I miss that?!

"I-I see sir. But maybe there is another way to-" I try in vain.

"Christian," he looks me in the eyes as if he's my master, "I trust you like you're my own son," his eyes seem to care for me just that much, I wonder where this attachment grew from. "Now go, bring me Nataelo, I'll defeat him and put an end to it," I don't even know where he is... "Oh, and Cecillia will guide you to him, she was his secretary," interesting lore.

"Actually, sir," she appears from behind. I didn't even hear her, even though she is wearing high heels. . "I merely brought him coffee, he liked it served by women only," a bloody sexist, I see. Even on her heels, now standing next to me, she's a head shorter than me. Her hair smells really nice, *slap*, concentrate. She bends forward, temptation washes over me, but I look straight at boss, who seems to expect something. With an up swing of her arm, she crashes her palm with those outrageously large nails, upon his genitals. The slap recoils. "You've been naughty again," boss' face turns red and doesn't do anything. She looks at me, I'm scared for my life. She looks at me from below, I'm trying not to look at her hands, so as to not infuriate the hand of god. "You've been good, I see," I guess I-*SLAP* My ass! Should I report her for sexual abuse?

"A-anyway. Let's get along, Cecillia," I try to move this along, before boss bursts a vein on his forehead and I take one more of those bone clubs to my back. She licks her lips, if she was thirty years younger, since I assume she's fifty or so, I might've thought this is hot. But I'm still feeling the heat coming off of my buttcheeks.

"We should get along, Christian," she starts walking in front, her step silent and fast. I start following along, but boss stops me for a moment.

"Ki-kid, don't fight Nataelo, so-somehow he always wins," how does boss win then? There has to be a secret to it. Be it size, technique or otherwise. "M-my best ad-advice is to simp-simply run, and don't get on a cros-" I couldn't listen any longer, Cecillia had her gaze burn holes at my neck, and boss' face seems to barely hold in the scream he so desperately want to let out.

"I got it boss, I will bring him here, I will not fight him," I promise, our father-son bond feels like it strengthened, although I'm still not sure why it's there to begin with. "We will defeat the dick slappers.".