The small, fairy-like being went flying into the depths of the forest. Riley took a certain amount of joy from that, until it came speeding back at the same speed.
“Gosh, you humans are so violent—“ The voice cut off as Riley kicked it once more into the distance. It had been a while since he had ever needed to kick someone twice.
Riley stretched a bit. He was doing pretty well, having defeated his first monster. Weren’t there usually messages to show how much exp you got or something? He didn’t see anything…
“That hurt! You broke my nose!” Riley turned slowly, deliberately, to see the same fairy behind him. He pulled his fist back, preparing to give this Tinkerbell wannabe a knuckle sandwich.
“H-hey! Wait! I-I’m on your side!” It waved its hands in front of itself protectively. Riley grabbed it from the air, examining it.
It had pale skin, almost eggshell white. It was humanoid, though Riley didn’t miss the pointed ears. Its clothes were striped with baby blue and lollipop red. Possibly most jarring were the compound eyes, and butterfly wings.
This was a situation in which Riley chose to speak up. “You said you’re on my side, right?”
“Y-yes?”
“Then die and give me exp.” Riley began to tear one of the wings off of Tinkerbell.
The fairy screamed in agony. “Wait! I don’t give exp!”
Riley paused. “Why not?” He tugged on the wing a bit more, because he felt committed now.
As tears began to form around the compound eyes—Riley wasn’t even sure that was possible—the fairy desperately tried to explain. “I-I’m your guiding fairy. I’m supposed to help you with understanding your status. Humanity was judged to be under the average intelligence score, so we were supposed to help you make decisions. I'm registered in the system as an employee, so I don’t give exp.”
Riley thought about it a bit. “Nah. I don’t need a Navi following me all the time.”
He returned to tearing the wing. The fairy protested. “Y-you can’t kill me! I’m registered as your guide, so I’ll regenerate from any injury you give me.”
Riley stared at the fairy for a disturbingly long time, before letting out a long sigh and punting the fairy into the earth. “Fine.”
Riley went back to his status. “How do I go about getting a class?”
The fairy rose out of a small fairy-shaped crater in the ground. Riley had learned his name was, in fact, Alabaster. “Uh… the classes you can pick should show up when you press (Select).”
Riley did just that.
CLASS SELECTION:
Common [Warrior]
Common [Archer]
Common [Mage]
Common [Cleric]
“With your hella lopsided stats, you should probably choose [Warrior]. Your Wisdom is so laughably low, magic classes are out of the question.” At that comment from Ala, he backhanded the pest into a tree offhandedly.
Though, it was good advice. Riley clicked [Warrior].
Error!
Voidspawn’s Blessing (???) is interfering.
Generating [Cursed] classes.
“Where did you get a Voidspawn’s Blessing?!” Ala cried.
“Just sorta happened.”
CLASS SELECTION:
Rare [Bloodborn Barbarian]
Rare [Vengeful Sharpshooter]
Rare [Hellfire Pyromaniac]
Stolen story; please report.
Rare [Bringer of Plague]
Riley gaped at the new classes. This was… way better than what he had before. Riley immediately clicked [Bloodborn Barbarian], as it sounded right up his alley.
The [Gl1tched L3gi0n] have taken notice of you
They are watchhhhhhhhh Error!
Error!
The [Gl1tched L3gi0n] are interfering.
Generating [Gl1tch3d] classes.
Error!
Voidspawn’s Blessing (???) is interfering.
Generating [Gl1tchyyy-Cursed???] classes.
CLASS SELECTION:
Legendary [Avalon of the Bloody End]
Legendary [Avalon of Channeled Annihilation]
Legendary [Avalon of Expanding Hell]
Legendary [Avalon of Absolute Desolation]
Riley and Ala started blankly at the screen. Riley was the first to speak up, his mouth feeling dry. “Is this some kind of joke? The classes don’t even sound like classes anymore. They sound like…”
“Apocalypses,” Ala finished. “Quick, pick one! Any one of them will put you leagues above the rest of your species.”
Feeling a certain amount of trepidation, Riley’s finger extended outwards and clicked [Avalon of the Bloody End].
Something has taken notice of you.
“Oh my GOD. Not again.” Riley groaned. He wished he could just get this over with.
Something is smiling.
“Uh?” Ala said upon noticing this new message. Riley hasn’t seen it yet, but a drop of sweat began to trickle down Ala's spine. It was possible they had attracted the attention of something they shouldn’t have.
Something is frowning at your classes.
Something is trying to fix thissssss
Generating new ccccllassssss
Hiding user frommmm
Please wait… removing Something’s eyes.
Done!
Something cannot see you.
Attempting to create new class to hide from Something.
Create custom class suited to your personal traits?
(Yes/No)
Noticing that something was off about the latest string of messages, Riley decided to consult Ala. “What should I do?”
“Do it,” he urged. “A custom class can vary in power, but it we’ll always suit you perfectly. You’ll have little to no problems on your path.”
Riley clicked yes.
Analyzing your traits… several possible paths determined. Attempting to synthesize…
Synthesis has failed. Voidspawn’s Blessing (???) interfered, deleting many paths. One path remains.
Synthesis has failed. Lacking necessary energy.
Cannibalizing Legendary [Avalon of the Bloody End] class for energy. Attempting synthesis…
Synthesis has failed. Lacking necessary energy. Cannibalizing Legendary [Avalon of Channeled Annihilation], Legendary [Avalon of Expanding Hell], Legendary [Avalon of Absolute Desolation] classes for energy. Attempting synthesis…
Synthesis has failed. Lacking necessary energggg
Voidspawn’s Blessing (???) activated!
Compensating for missing energy…
Voidspawn’s Blessing disappeared!
Synthesis has succeeded. New Common class has been created. The universe thrums at your achievement.
Riley squinted at the many screens that popped up. “Wait, only a Common class?”
Ala had never seen so many gods interested in one mortals. Furthermore, the creation of a new Common class hadn’t occurred for millennia. “A Common class isn’t necessarily bad, just simple. It has far more room for growth than a Legendary class.” What Ala feared to add was that this particular Common class had somehow required the energy of four Legendary classes and the expenditure of a Voidspawn’s Blessing. Whatever this class was, it was going to be one to shake the foundations of the universe with its very existence.
CLASS SELECTION:
Common [Waifu]
“We’re screwed.” Ala said.
Riley began to twitch.