Riley
Strength: 24
Constitution: 9
Dexterity: 26
Intelligence: 23
Wisdom: 2
Perception: 18
Charisma Cuteness: 27
Waifu Level 1
Skills:
Appraisal
Matchmaker
Chuunibyou Level 1 (sealed)
Skills:
None
Ala rubbed his pale skin where the dozens of cuts and bruises were already beginning to fade. Riley sure had been mad. Now, the boy just stared at his status intently.
Riley opened his mouth and Ala flinched. “Why does my status say Cuteness?”
Ala looked at Riley’s status and frowned. “I don’t know. Maybe a function of your class. Maybe use Appraisal on [Waifu]?”
Riley slapped Ala for daring to mention the accused class once more.
[Waifu]
This is a Common class. You made this… very interesting class.
As a Waifu, you were made to dominate otaku culture. Show those weeds the ideal woman they’ll never have!
As a side effect of this class, the Charisma stat has been removed and the Cuteness stat has been added. Cuteness is calculated based on physical appearance while Charisma is calculated on mannerisms.
Star gain per level:
+4 Strength
+5 Agility
+2 Intelligence
-1 Wisdom
+7 Cuteness
+4 Free Points
Wow, this class subtracts Wisdom! It’s like someone is trying to say something about the objectification of women by otaku culture!
WARNING: This class has not been playtested! Possible anomalous activities and potentially balance breaking abilities. Furthermore, safety limiters are not present.
“Well, that explains things,” Riley sighed.
“Holy cow, that’s a lot of stats.” Ala cried. “Though subtracting Wisdom when you have so little to go around is devastating.”
As Riley began experimenting with turning Ala’s head 180 degrees like an owl, he Appraised his new skill.
[Matchmaker]
This is a Waifu skill. As a Waifu, you intuitively know how to pair different outfits together to achieve the best outfit for your date with MC-kun!
When wearing 2 or more articles of clothing or accessories, your Cuteness will receive a temporary multiplier for as long as you wear the outfit. Multiplier scales with Match Score.
When your outfit reaches a high enough Match Score, you may unlock a set bonus.
As I thought, useless. “Hmm. What’s my current Match Score?”
Outfit: Jeans and Graphic Tee-Shirt
Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.
Match Score: 12
Cute, in a tomboy way, perhaps, but the lack of effort is apparent.
Huh, didn’t expect that to work.
At a groan from behind him, Riley turned to see the man who had tried to rob him earlier getting up. Oh. Forgot about him.
The man saw him and began to scream. Riley waited patiently for a few moments until he got quite tired.
“Could you please shut the fuck up? I’ve been having a bad day.”
The man screamed louder. Clearly, Riley wasn’t the only one annoyed because a pack of wolves came bursting out of the forest. They looked a bit… strange though.
They walked on their hind legs and were wearing pink nightgowns. Small spectacles rested on their muzzle. Riley used Appraisal.
Player?
Grandma
Level 3
This is your Grandma. Nothing strange to see here!
Odd. The same result returned for each of the wolves, though some at Level 2.
“I don’t think my grandma is a wolf,” Riley said dryly. The wolves staggered back, clutching their paws to their chests.
“Grrr… How could you say that, dearie? This is faux fur. I bought it at that new place your mother was talking about, that, err… ‘Channel’ store?” The other wolves barked loudly, nodding in agreement.
Riley paused. This did sound like an average conversation his relatives would have. There was only one thing he needed to know. “Hey, Ala, would they give exp?”
Ala flinched. “Riley, what are you saying?! That’s your grandma!”
Riley cracked his knuckles.
With a gulp, Ala muttered, “Well, players give exp too…”
Riley roundhouse kicked the face of the lead wolf-grandma. It dropped like a sack of potatoes, its dentures flying out of its mouth. “Good enough for me.”
ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Murderhobo
You were the first in your universe to attack a disguised monster!
There’s no way you already have enough Perception to spot these, so we changed the achievement name from Sleuth to Murderhobo to accurately reflect your personality.
Unless you’re a Perception min-maxer. Damn those Perception min-maxers!
Here, a reward for a non-Perception min-maxer like yourself who is in dear need of said stat. We even themed it to thematically match your situation!
REWARD: Cloak of the Red Riding Hood
“Hmm, calling me a Murderhobo is a bit much.” Riley muttered as Ala gaped at him.
“Grrr… The jig’s up, ladies!” cried one of the wolves. “Let’s make this kid a chew-toy!”
Riley stomped on the neck of the wolf beneath him.
Level 3 [Wolf] vanquished!
+35 exp
He cracked his neck. It had been a while since he went all out.
Counting the one he had killed, there were six wolves. Two wolves brandished their claws, two got on all fours, opening their jaws wide and barking loudly and one… swung their gaudy pink purse like a weapon.
Riley got into a boxing position. He didn’t know the slightest thing about boxing. He threw a hook at the first wolf, uppercutting the second.
One wolf locked its jaws around his right arm. Riley bit his tongue as he struggled not to scream. Instead, he grabbed the wolf’s head with his left hand, jabbing out its right eye with his thumb.
It howled with agony as its grip loosened and Riley was freed.
Riley stumbled back, his breath coming in short gasps. Even in fights with those older than him, people didn’t usually go as far as to spill blood. These wolves, however, had no such morals.
The wolves stared at him, nine eyes watching him warily. The fight had reached a standstill. Riley glanced back. The mugger had his hand to his mouth, quietly sobbing. What Riley cared about was the mugger’s knife, which lay forgotten in the dirt.
Riley lunged for the knife, the action snapping the wolves out of their stupor. One wolf darted to Riley, jaws snapping an inch away from his face. Riley scrabbled for the kitchen knife, picking it up and jabbing it in the direction of the wolves.
He flinched as a shower of blood sprayed onto his face. The knife was firmly rooted in the inside of the upper jaw of the wolf, piercing upwards through the brain. It had saved him not a moment too soon.
Level 2 [Wolf] vanquished!
+20 exp
Level up!
Riley shuddered as he tore the knife away from the wolf, the body crashing down onto the ground. Four remained.
He quickly dumped two of the Free Points into Wisdom and Agility respectively. He would need to be able to make decisions quickly, and those stats would probably help.
Brandishing his knife, he turned too slowly to react to the purse colliding with his eye.
Riley squinted through his one good eye. The knife slipped from his right hand, which hung limply by his side. Riley tried to make it move, but it only twitched. The boy crouched down, snatching the blade with his left hand and driving it upwards with a quick motion. It ripped through the bottom of the chin, piercing through many layers of flesh before stabbing at the brain.
Level 3 [Wolf] vanquished!
+35 exp
Riley kicked the face of another wolf, sending it reeling back. He swiped out with the blade, cringing as it sliced open the eyes of another wolf, the eyeballs popping in an explosion of blood and pus.
He leapt at the wolf he had kicked, sweeping the blade through the beast’s neck.
Level 3 [Wolf] vanquished!
+35 exp
The blood splattered into his face. With the rapidly developing black eye, and the mess of blood on his face, he couldn’t see a thing.
Sharp lines of pain clawed their way across his chest. He lashed out blindly with the knife.
Level 2 [Wolf] vanquished!
+20 exp
Once more, the knife slipped from his hands. He couldn’t see anything. Where was the knife? He groped blindly on the ground for it. Warm blood stained his entire body, drops of fat sliding their way down his hands.
Growling from behind him made him spin to face it. Something heavy hit his chest. Streaks of pain ripped their way through Riley’s body. He reached out with his bare hands, ripping and tearing at the flesh and fur of the wolf.
His body begged him to stop, but he kept ripping away, his whole body covered head-to-toe in canine blood.
Level 2 [Wolf] vanquished!
+20 exp
Level up!
Riley tossed every point into Constitution before collapsing. Just a quick nap.