What the fuck?

Medrauta stood in a daze as she returned the duke’s gaze. She wasn’t sure why the man was squinting at her so fiercely. When she first saw him, it didn’t look like his eyesight was impaired. Worse, the man’s voice had turned dangerously scratchy since she’d last heard it.

“Um... Is your dad alright?”

Viviane hid her face, apologizing profusely. She seemed to know what was happening, but she was also in no condition to give Medrauta a coherent reply.

Seeing this, Medrauta heaved a sigh. In the span of ten seconds, she’d lost all admiration she once had for the man.

“Need I repeat myself?” Duke Castellia intoned, somehow managing to deepen his voice even further. He cocked an eyebrow flippantly. “I challenge you to a duel, Dame Medrauta. Or are you perhaps too afraid?”

“...Your Grace, you cannot challenge me to a duel.”

“Ah. Afraid, are we?” The duke smirked.

“...No. You are not a knight, Your Grace.” Medrauta said pointedly. “I would immediately be placed on trial by the Round Table if I attempted to enter a duel against you. We are permitted to spar with nobles, but not duel. If your wish is to spar with me, then I would be honored.”

Duke Castellia wagged his finger in the air, smoothing his hair back with his other hand. He clicked his tongue thrice in an expression of great disagreement. “No, no. You misunderstand me, Dame Medrauta. I challenge you not to a duel of blades, but a duel of wits. A test of knowledge.”

Viviane let out a sound that was similar to that of a dying animal. She curled up into a ball and refused to show her face.

“Oookay,” Medrauta placed her hands on her hips. She had absolutely no clue what was going on, but she knew she needed to see this through. Based on Viviane’s reaction, it would be the only way to end the duke’s insanity. “About what?”

“Kukuku...” The duke pushed himself off the pillar and then strode up to Medrauta. He leaned back as far as he could go, striking a strange pose before he thrust his finger out toward her, pointing straight at the center of Medrauta’s face.

All of a sudden, Medrauta was overcome with the incredible urge to throttle Viviane’s father, but she managed to keep it suppressed with her unparalleled willpower.

“To earn my daughter’s hand in marriage, you must prove that you are worthy of her! And to do so, you must best me in a competition of knowledge! If you truly love her, then your knowledge of Vivi should surpass even mine! Or perhaps... Can you not even say that you love her that much!?”

“But—”

“No excuses! Do you love her or not!?”

Medrauta lifted her hands to her head, massaging her temples. She could already feel a headache forming. “I... I love her, but aren’t we skipping a few steps here? Besides, we can’t even get married in the empire. We’re both women and—”

“Haaah?” The duke glowered at Medrauta as he recovered from his strange pose. He stood a good two heads taller than her, so he would’ve been quite the intimidating figure had he not chosen to adopt such a strange persona. “You’re going to let something so minor stop you despite saying that you love her!?”

“...F-Father, please stop...” Viviane spoke up after finally recovering from her father’s weird antics. “We’re not even d-dating...”

“Yet,” Medrauta added casually, causing Viviane to hide her face with her knees once again. Even so, the scarlet tips of her ears poked through her golden hair.

“Oh?” A dangerous light glimmered in the duke’s eyes, his hand casually dropping to the hilt of his saber. If Medrauta was worried, she didn’t show it. “So you intend to date my daughter without marrying her?”

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Medrauta clicked her tongue in annoyance. She hadn’t known what to expect when she sought to introduce herself to Viviane’s father, but this certainly wasn’t it. “Of course not. I’m saying that we’ll consider marriage after we’ve started dating for a while. We’d need to get permission from the crown to travel outside of the country borders anyway.”

“Kukuku,” Duke Castellia smirked. “As you have now made clear your desire to take my daughter’s hand, I can no longer give you the benefit of the doubt. Now then, let us begin our duel!”

“I didn’t agree to this.”

“Question one!”

“Your Grace, I—”

“What is Vivi’s favorite color!?”

“Again, I didn’t—”

“Five seconds left to answer!”

“Gah! What the hell is this!?”

“Three!”

“Fine! Silver! It’s silver!”

“Incorrect! It seems your love was too weak, for you’ve failed at the first question! Dame Medrauta, you are not—”

“U-Um... She’s right though...” Viviane interjected.

The duke’s jaw dropped. “W-What...? V-Vivi... Wasn’t it red? Was your papa mistaken all along...?”

“N-No... It’s true that red was my favorite color, but now it’s silver...”

“Hah! Easy!” Medrauta smirked.

“Guh!” Duke Castellia’s head hung low. He sniffed as if he were shedding tears. “My Vivi’s changing so quickly... B-But I won’t relent! Prepare yourself, Dame Medrauta! The next question will send you packing!”

“Yeah, yeah. What is it?”

“What is Vivi’s favorite food!?”

“That’s pretty easy. For breakfast, she likes hotcakes with honey, for lunch it used to be poached Kharadshah ualba haunch but now it’s those fancy noodles from Higashi, and she likes to finish off light for dinner with a fresh salad coupled with some floral varieties.”

Duke Castellia’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head as Medrauta effortlessly rattled off Viviane’s favorite foods for all three meals of the day. His gaze whipped over to Viviane for confirmation, and the noblewoman nodded.

“Augh! I can’t believe you managed to answer that! And so flawlessly too!”

“There’s nothing you can ask me that I can’t answer!” Medrauta laughed. “I even know her three sizes!”

“W-What!?” Viviane exclaimed. “H-H-How do you know those!?”

“No comment.”

“Urgh... You’re the toughest contender I’ve ever encountered, Dame Medrauta... But your tyranny ends here! With this final question, I’ll blow you away!” Duke Castellia declared.

“Hah! Bring it on, old man!” Medrauta thumbed her nose at the duke. She didn’t know when it began, but she’d started getting pretty into this stupid game with him, enough that she’d completely dropped any semblance of etiquette.

It didn’t seem like the duke minded either. In fact, Medrauta’s boorish gestures and crass language seemed to fan the flames of his competitive spirit.

“Very well, you asked for it! The final question is... What color are Vivi’s panties today!?”

“White!” Medrauta declared confidently.

“Aha! You fool! I’ve caught you red-handed! I’ll never allow those with perverted intentions to take my daughter away from me!”

“Hah! As if, idiot! I’ll have you know that I diligently aid Viviane in all aspects of her life, and that includes helping her fold the laundry! Of course I’d know what she keeps in her arsenal! Or are you perhaps belittling the efforts of a knight!?”

“Urk! A skillful parry and riposte, Dame Medrauta... You’ve truly defeated me...”

D-Don’t be defeated so easily, father! Viviane thought. Ah, but if it’s Medrauta, then I suppose it’s fine...

“Of course not, Your Grace.” Medrauta said.

The duke looked up at her. “...Huh?”

Medrauta smiled gallantly as she extended a hand toward Duke Castellia, her posture noble and poised. No one could’ve guessed that she’d been talking about panties mere moments ago.

“How can you be defeated when my victories are yours... father-in-law?”

Duke Castellia’s eyes glistened as he stared at Medrauta with newfound respect. At once, he clasped the knight’s hand firmly, and the two forged a pact of newfound understanding with nary a word.

Viviane watched the scene with speechless disbelief. She had witnessed what could be called a bonding ritual of two idiots, and while it was undoubtedly a baffling sequence to watch, she thought it was somewhat heartwarming. At the very least, it seemed like Medrauta and her father were going to get along. But...

...I’m sorry, Medrauta. Tonight, my panties are red.

Watching the two, she thought it best not to voice that thought.