"Who the hell are you people?" I asked, looking up at the small sea of familiar yet unfamiliar faces.

I clearly remember both going to sleep and the teacher activating my chakra in the academy. Seeing me alive and talking, the medical practitioners surrounding my bed heaved a sigh of relief. The main doctor lifted a green glowing hand and began waving it around my body.

"What the fuck?" I whispered to myself. "What the actual fuck?" This is a certified mind trip. I actually recognize Iryojutsu. In fact, I seem to have memories of being taken to the hospital.

"Doctor Tsubasa!" I looked up at the man who seemed to be my family doctor. How did I even know that? "What's going on?"

As the good doctor opened his mouth to respond, the door to the private room banged open and a woman in her late twenties burst into the room. "Taka!" She yelled racing in and wrapping me in a hug. "Are you okay? Are you alright?" She asked as she released me and began checking me for injuries.

"Mom?" My mouth moved of its own accord and my brain supplied me with loving memories of her taking care of me and before I knew it, I threw my hand around her and began to sob into her shoulder. "What the hell is going on?" I asked myself in confusion as I held on to my mom who was not my mom who I loved and yet did not love! This is fucked up man.

"What happened to Taka?" My mom asked the doctor.

"Madam Hanako, Taka is just experiencing mild chakra exhaustion from the activation of his chakra coils at the academy. It's nothing to worry about but we found something much more concerning."

Mild chakra exhaustion? What the hell? Why is everyone looking like they're in a comic convention cosplaying as anime characters? Wait a minute, didn't Doctor Tsubasa say they found something worse?

"We found some anomalies in his chakra coils that indicates that Taka would never be able to wield elemental chakra." That was the moment the memories decided to flood my brain. My name is Taka. Five years old son of the deceased Jounin Kota and the very much alive Chunin Hanako. First and only child. Nephew of Rasa, the fourth Kazekage of Sunagakure and first year student at the ninja academy. I'm also in the Naruto universe.

At that moment, I began laughing with such joy that all the adults in the room were staring at me with such obvious confusion that I had to clarify. "I'm going to be the greatest ninja in the world!"

Yes. Yes. I know your reaction. In fact, everyone here has the same reaction you do. Let me explain. You see, if you want to know a child's potential for greatness in the Naruto universe, check for weird, unique or interesting anomalies. Don't believe me? Let's check.

Kakashi? Weird dude who hides his face practically from birth. Fun fact, there was nothing special to even hide.

Itachi? Crazily calm kid. No kid should be that calm and unemotional.

Sasuke? Childhood trauma. Enough said.

Neji? Daddy issues.

Rock Lee? Weird chakra coils. (Just like me bro! What else do you need?)

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Naruto? No explanation needed.

Dudes who were as ordinary as one could get? Tenten, Kiba, Temari, Sakur- wait a minute! Cancel that last name. Do you see where I'm going with this?

This is the Naruto universe. The most straightforward path to S-rank for someone like me is HardWork™. Yup! The Maito Gai and Rock Lee version.

My laughter echoed around the room as the adults discussed my future as a ninja. They'll eventually come to the same conclusion I did. I'm going to be a ninja.

----------------------------------------

Well.

It's been three days and I just made a fascinating discovery. Maito Gai and Rock Lee are some crazy dudes. There's no way their work ethic can work for the ordinary masses.

I tried. I did my best. Running, push ups, skipping, I did it all and discovered I'm not cut out for prolonged moments of HardWork™. I'm more of a training montage guy. Interesting training moments shot over several hours and stitched together into a minute long cool sequence.

I want to train in short bursts over a long time and fight like I did a three day military boot camp in three hours. Unfortunately, we don't always get what we want.

It's time for plan B. There's just a teensy tiny problem. I never had a plan B. So there I was, sitting on my bed and staring into space (in a cool manner of course) wondering what kind of Alien Space Bat sent me here if it wasn't willing to give me some kind of cheat.

I would like to use this opportunity to remark to the divine beings listening at that moment that it was unfair. I even said it out loud. "This is exploitation of immigrants my dudes. How do immigrants tackle these kinds of problems? Am I an illegal immigrant? Do you guys have a help desk somewhere? I'd like to lodge a complaint."

There was a knock on the door and my mom opened the door. "Taka, who were you speaking with?" She stood at the doorway looking like the greek goddess Aphrodite (yes, I've never seen Aphrodite but you guys know what I'm talking about right? Right?).

My mom's the reason I want to become an S-rank ninja.

When I transmigrated into Taka's body, I got not only his memories but also the love he had for his mother.

Yes. I'm becoming an S-rank to beat up those older dudes trying to get together with my mom. Sorry but she's the only one for my dad.

"I'm talking to myself." I answered her as I got off my bed. She held out her hand and I took it as we began the journey to the ninja academy.

"You know, I'm like Harry Potter."

"What? Who's Hari Pota?"

"What? How can you not know who– Oh!" Wrong universe. "Well, you have blonde hair and green eyes while I apparently look like my father with my mother's eyes." And to make matters worse (or better, depending on your view on the subject) my father had black hair so, I've got dark hair and the most vibrant green eyes in the whole of Sunagakure." Oh, and I'm a wizard. Well, a ninja but you know what I'm talking about." She smiled indulgently at me and I knew that she had no idea what I was talking about. We walked down the street in a comfortable silence.

"Mom?" She looked down at me. "What path did father follow to become a Jounin?"

"Hmmn." She reminisced on good memories for a bit. "As you already know, your dad grew up as the first son of the third Kazekage. He always wanted his father proud of him, so he began to copy everything his father did. He did it and got so good that he eventually was able to become his own person."

Imitation is the best form of flattery. "Do you think dad would have become as powerful as the Kazekage?"

"Given time, he could have. After all, your father did have talent for the shinobi arts." She smiled down at me.

Wait a minute! Why didn't I think of that? Imitation is the best form of flattery! "Aha! Yes! I'm going to be the greatest ninja on earth! Thanks dad!" I turned to my mom. "I'm gonna be like dad. I'll find someone really strong and copy them!" Mom's laughter joined mine as we strolled towards the academy.

Watch out, Orochimaru! Watch out, Akatsuki! Watch out, Naruto! Prepare for the world's greatest SSS-rank ninja!