I finished a sketch today. It took me three times as long and isn’t as dark as I’d like. I mean, it is ‘dark,’ but I couldn’t contrast the color with a pencil like I wanted. Pain-fueled shakes and grip strength that couldn’t pop a balloon made my sketch more of an impression of a skull than a realistic cranium. At least it captured my nightmare from last night.
In that place between waking and rest, I watched my body in the third person, and after I saw my hair fall out, my head cracked open like someone taking the shell off a hard-boiled egg, one chipped piece at a time.
I woke as my view moved closer to peer into the void created by excised shards. I never saw what was inside—I just woke up in sweat-soaked sheets, wet from my bald scalp down to my boxers.
And dreams, I don’t remember those. Nope, my life’s just nightmares.
Only in my imagination can I see a world where I’m healthy and normal.
I try not to live in my head too long.
Imagination can be dangerous when it feeds me false hope. But what if it’s my only playground left?
Jordan Journal entry Post Chemo
#####
After quickly exploring the rest of my living space, I felt happy. This was by far the nicest place I’ve ever stayed at. I didn’t know how much time I’d have to enjoy it, but it was a luxury setup—only missing a kitchen to be an entire apartment.
While searching the spacious bedroom, I found clothes in a closet of various sizes and for different purposes. There were school uniforms, although I wondered if the jackets fit me after my body’s changes. Did they tailor them, or is it a generic size for the guys?
There were three sets of Arcana and Zancara academies’ robes and jackets on separate sides of the closet. Then I found what I was looking for more athletic clothes for physical training and other casual attire similar to people I’d seen on the streets.
I assumed I was ready after putting on snug pants with great flexibility and padding around the knees, a long-sleeved shirt, and a padded vest.
This better not be some ceremonial outfit on this planet, I joked to myself. My assistive AI System didn’t comment. I had some questions as I continued to take in my new look and body in front of the mirror and decided to do a little stretching to test my flexibility and coordination.
That reminds me. How do I categorize what you are? You’ve told me you are the voice of my Arc System but are speaking for my Arc and Zan’s combined system. So, what’s different between you and, say, the overall system that controls…everything? I thought the System was less helpful.
Since you asked, the local understanding, which I am a product of in many ways, is the following:
The System oversees the entire universe. An omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent System. It knows all, is all capable, and is present everywhere.
That System has subsystems. The Subsystems allow the sentients of the universe to interact with the System. Without a Subsystem, everyone is like humans on old Earth.
So the subsystems give me access to THE system, but is it always there, everywhere? While you explain this, can you show me some stretches or basic exercises I can do in this space?
I hadn’t done exercise since I was in middle school. And my middle school gym teacher, at the time, didn’t have combat experience. No, he seemed too laid back to have been a Marine.
Yes, I recommend these basic stretches for Arcana children.
The space in front of me suddenly filled with a projection of me sitting on the ground and reaching toward my feet.
These are designed to account for your muscle density and strength.
Wow, this is better than any augmented reality gear I have ever seen. There’s no distortion. But don’t be creepy,
The image of me stretching was smiling far too broad and waving at me to get started. Suddenly, it was frowning after my creepy comment.
I felt a little guilty, so I asked nicely this time, “ In the future, please adjust the transparency to keep my vision clear in combat. I knew I didn’t need to be polite to my system, but still, I couldn’t help it.
As I was explaining, the most widespread Subsystem is Earth’s version. That is considered a common Subsystem as it is widespread throughout the universe.
Your planet was also seeded with the potential for Arcana. As you have been told, you were the only one to obtain it before the system initiated your planet, resulting in your transport here.
It wouldn’t have taken long for you to become overpowered on Earth despite not having Temporal Gates. Dungeons would help you grow, but they are not TGs.
Your growth would have stalled without intervention, and the system would eventually have forced an event or circumstances that led to an opportunity for you. But it would have likely unbalanced Earth and crippled the rest of the population. Thus, the intervention. Earth and others like it are considered resource worlds for Arcana and Zancara. They will still be farmed for many reasons despite lacking the core resources.
The System’s motives seem to force progress through conflict. Comfort breeds complacency, which leads to weakness and eventually death. This is where the Arcana saying of “Death’s Comfort” comes from. Only in death does the system allow rest.
That is pretty dark, but it will keep things exciting. I always wanted to be a part of a fantasy world. When the System came to Earth, I thought it was my chance. That was another monumental disappointment for me until now. I haven’t given it much thought, but will I get back to my family?
That is possible but not probable until you achieve greater power and influence.
Oh, sorry to ask, but I need to know. Is it healthy for me to spend so much time talking to you?
It is common for Arc and Zan people to communicate with their system. I, however, am capable of much more intelligent and human-like interactions.
You will adjust and can provide feedback on our interactions.
I recommend acquiring additional relationships and having conversations with those around you.
Noted. Get out and talk to people. Make some friends… Not an easy thing for me to jump back into, you know?
Never mind, how about this world’s Subsystems?
Arc and Zan systems are less common on the rarity scale. Far beyond that is us.
I am a wholly unique System. Never before seen or heard of. Scholars here speculate on the combination of Arc and Zan, but I’ve found no accounts of it occurring.
So, are there other higher rarity Systems? Like Rare, Legendary, or Mythic? My inner greedy squirrel was rubbing its hands together. I must collect them all!
Not that anyone is aware of. There is a disagreement between A and Z as to whether one of them is superior and deserves a higher grade. As you can imagine, they both think the other is inferior.
I had run through several stretches and a few gymnastic movement exercises.
Okay, I feel like I can avoid making myself look like a complete noob in front of Felicity. Let’s find her. Know where she is?
I wouldn’t count on making a great impression yet. Remember you just arrived. Yes, you have your unique system and a newly formed body; you’re welcome.
Less snark, please.
Adjusting.
You are new to everything. Don’t forget you were near death not long ago and only healed recently.
Felicity may appear approximately your age, but what I can find in the network says she is the equivalent of 70 Earth years old or 7.5 ellipses.
Ellipses? Local time measurement? Can you just translate the times and ages for me?
Preference added
Felicity has seen extensive combat in TG’s, Duels, and Arc-Zan battles. You have much to learn to catch up with her. But…you will learn rapidly if you apply yourself. You must advance for anything good to come of your circumstances unless you want to be a lab rat or just be exterminated.
Wow, I know I’m in over my head, but can you help me stay positive and focused? I’ve let myself get pretty hopeless before. I’m feeling good now, but I’m sure I could spiral.
I cut the conversation and left for the outer hallway. As promised, Felicity arrived within a few moments after I left my door.
That was fast. I hope they aren’t spying on me while inside my room.
“Jordan, how can I help you?” Felicity said with a reserved smile as she stopped a few paces before me, arms crossed under her chest. I immediately noticed her hair was down, and she wore tight-fitting clothes accentuating her figure. Her brow was wet with sweat.
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“Yes, I hoped to get some combat experience before my classes tomorrow,” I humbly replied, keeping my eyes anywhere but her feminine figure. Wow, she is beautiful. Look her in the eyes, the eyes.
“I wasn’t aware you had received your schedule yet…” She cut herself off, wiping her forehead with a small towel. Then she took a step closer, and she grabbed my arm. “What happened to you? Why do you look taller and…How? She started poking me and even lifted my shirt to poke my abs.”
“Hey…stop,” I squeaked as she hit a sensitive rib. I was flustered by being so close to such a beautiful woman but getting annoyed at the poking.
“One moment.” Her eyes unfocused as she looked at something on her system display.
“Thank you,” I shyly whispered. I was not able to keep from blushing and tried to project confidence. I didn’t think I could keep my changes a secret, but I was still unsure how much to keep to myself. But I responded to her like a nerd flirting with the prom queen, showing no eye contact and suddenly fidgeting like my whole body itched.
Her eyes focused back on my face. “My estimates show an increase in height, mass, and even density; your face is much more symmetrical and refined…” She smiled a little more.
Was that a flirtatious smile? Is she flirting? Don’t answer that system. I need to name you…
Her lips pouted a bit as she said, “You need to explain,” she scrunched her brow and continued asking me questions. “Where are your armbands? Hold on.” She put her palm towards me and stepped back.
“Eld.” She started to turn away as if taking a phone call. And I exhaled, not realizing I’d held my breath while she was so close, then she turned back to me.
“So that you know, I’m not in charge here. Eld and I don’t belong to the same factions, but I was commanded to defer to him and follow all his instructions. He also outclasses me to the extent that I can’t read his tier. It’s not important, but you need to show him absolute respect. I’ll prove my strength, but don’t challenge his. He will meet us on the sand.”
“Sand?” I was confused and still trying to calm my heart rate. “I was hoping for training so I didn’t look like a fool on my first day at the Academy.”
She laughed. “You think you’ll fit in, maybe make some friends?” She nodded her head in understanding. “I can understand why you would hope for that. But how long have you had your system? Rhetorical question. They have been raised into this, and each received limited access to their systems years ago.”
Arcana and Zancara children gain limited access at your equivalent of 8.25 years old, even earlier than Earth’s 13-year-old initiation.
“That means I’m behind, which is precisely why I’m asking for help before I’m thrown to the wolves tomorrow. Anything will help.”
“Yes, I suppose. This won’t be my first time training from the ground up. Your lack of knowledge also means you lack bad habits,” she convinced herself as her face softened into a slight another.
Turning and walking down the stairs, she very quietly mumbled. “But you’ll be the first child I’ve trained.” then she barked, “Follow me!”
We returned to the ground floor and navigated several parts of the sprawling mansion. Eventually, we walked through an open doorway to the gardens I’d seen out my balcony.
“Leave your shoes here,” Felicity said, leaving her own to the side of the breezeway. After wandering between trees and manicured pathways, we walked onto a sand-covered square clearing. In the middle was Eld. This time in a snug dark blue robe. I also noticed a small backpack at his feet. I followed Felicity till we were a few paces in front of him. She bowed toward Eld.
“I hear you’ve obtained some upgrades,” Eld stated stoically, form stiff and still. My improved perception was taking in the additional details. He may have signs of old age, but he was physically powerful.
I need to trust someone. “Yes, I accepted some System options for some changes.”
“Summarize the changes,” he commanded, not offering me an option.
“Well, my body upgraded. I am unsure, but I think the metal I absorbed at the ceremony on my arms has been absorbed to fuel some internal improvements. I don’t know everything that occurred, but the process hurt. A lot.” I visibly cringed at the memory, but after a moment, I continued as he bore holes into me with his unnerving stare. “All I know for sure is I am stronger and can think more rapidly. Oh, and my perception of time is way better. And I just recently gathered and formed a construct…” I was cut off with a hand gesture from Eld.
“Not likely,” Eld stated, closing his eyes.
“But, clearly, you can see..” Felicity stammered but did not seem to be convincing him.
“Do you know why you are here and not at the Academy floundering already?” Eld asked as if tempting me to make a guess.
“No, I didn’t have much choice,” I quietly stated in frustration, “The Duke and the Administrator sent me.”
“True, and I am still not aware of the contents of your meeting. What I am here to do is guide you. Felicity is here to aid me in this. I lead, you follow, she helps.”
I could see that Felicity scowled but stopped herself from saying anything. She likely wanted to interject to clarify the significance of her role.
“I didn’t intend to approach this as a stubborn old academic,” his stoic, stern frustration melted slightly as he brought a hand to cover his face. “I had hoped to get you up to speed in the coming weeks. While you observed classes, I didn’t want you to participate. By the end of the term, I plan to have you ready for a tournament or another qualifying event. You understand my surprise when I see you completely remade; your system is different, and you claim to be gathering and forming constructs. If I had to guess, you have a D-grade body, not to mention the other things I see.
He has been trying to bypass me to inspect us. I don’t know how he can interact with our system. It’s not in the network database. But don’t worry, he was unable to access anything from me. He is probably bluffing.
At least as far as you know. Is there a database of abilities?
Of course. But apparently, it is not exhaustive enough to account for him.
“Why are you trying to interact with my System?” I challenged a little forcefully. “I mean, that isn’t normal, right?” I tried to tone down my frustration.
Ignoring my challenge, he continued. “I need you to demonstrate construction manifestation. I want you to explain your thoughts after you’re done.
I saw no reason to resist, so I sat on the sand and began to focus my mind. Okay, so remember what I did last time and how much should I show? “What sort of shape should I create?”
“Whatever you want to practice fighting with. Something bigger than that knife in your pocket.”
“Give me a moment,” I grimaced that he could see the knife. I closed my eyes and tried to think.
“He just got here,” Felicity whispered, “it is unlikely he can…”
“Quiet,” Eld clipped her words off.
He said make something I want to learn to fight with. Well, I want to go bladed weapons for sure.
I began to picture various weapons. Swords, daggers, spears, halberds, and others from games and fantasy books I’d read.
What do I want to use? I saw my parents learn some skills and dive into their chosen weapons. What would fit me best? In video games, I usually got tired of one play style and would switch, but if I didn’t go full mage in an RPG, I would either go archer/rogue or spear specialist. Both gave me reach. The bow might be fun. But, if I want to switch weapons or styles eventually, I need something I can sheath to swap to something different. I can add another later on.
I began to form with both hands. I started with rectangle shapes on the surface of each hand. Then, they rose about two inches. I kept pushing and was feeling resistance. I tried to shape the bars I’d formed to extend together in the middle, but the expansion stalled out as I noticed my spirit body’s concentration of Arc had dramatically decreased.
“Did you find that knife in your quarters?” Eld questioned, making assumptions after watching me struggle.
“Give me a second; I need to gather some more first,” my frustration bleeding into my words. But I kept my eyes closed and focused now on the space around me rather than the construction.
“Wow!” I jumped back in shock and landed a couple of feet back. My strength and reflexes were more incredible than I realized. “The Arc and Zan are so thick here!”
The Arc was moving like so many gracefully swimming giant eagles. They glided around, swooping and diving in and out of my view range. I was seeing farther out than when I was on my balcony.
Both opposing forces were competing for control of the space but never mixed. They bumped into each other in a continual flow. Neither of the elements had faces I could make out, but the Zan reminded me of a flowing dragon. It was too wide for a snake here. The more I observed, the easier it was to see that my entire view was just varied densities of the two forces. The shapes were moving through currents, and the gaps I saw were less dense Arc and Zan.
I focused back on the task at hand. I pulled at the Arc, which came so rapidly that I gasped in shock. I quickly became oversaturated and, in alarm, started channeling it into the sword I was forming.
This time, the metal Arc substance surged from my hands and became an unshaped blob that threatened to drip from my cupped hands.
Having stopped gathering, I tried to force my will into shaping the metal, commanding and restricting where it could go. The blob of material began to become one long bar, losing its liquid form. Once I had wrestled back control, I elongated it and started to see the sword from my imagination. The outline in my mind filled in and became a reality.
It was amazing. I could feel it on my palms. It was light, almost weightless, but solid as I closed my left hand around the grip. I didn’t try touching the sharp edge, only letting its flat side rest lightly in my right palm.
It felt too light. So I kept focusing. How can I make this have more weight? I don’t want a styrofoam feel. It needs some heft.
“Stop,” Eld instructed with a kind exasperation. “I apologize for doubting you. May I see the sword?”
I stood and stepped close enough to pass the handle over.
“A Japanese design?” He smiled. “Lighter due to the Arc concentration. You can gather and construct, but there is more we will show you. This will serve you for today; take this.”
I watched as he acted like he was tossing something from his empty hand. But as his hand lifted, a flash of gold light blinked, and a sheath formed. I fumbled to catch it from the surprise.
“How’d you do that?” I couldn’t help but wonder. ”Did you form it that fast, or do you have spatial storage?”
“Construction is limited by individual ability, one’s will, and resources,” Eld assured me. “Time is not a limiter when sufficient power is harnessed.” He reverently extended the blade as if it were a valuable creation, not something a beginner made.
“You did well. We will sharpen you further.” Eld picked up the backpack from the ground and walked off toward the side, waving for us to follow.
I sheathed the blade in front of my face. Marveling as the two separate creations fit with machined precision and slid with a smooth metal glide, they became one with a satisfying click.
Then, I snapped my jaw closed when I saw Felicity smiling at my dumb expression. She knowingly nodded and waved me on to go first.
We walked to a smaller circle in the garden surrounded by a waist-high wall with several benches built into the wall’s interior and tables into the outside next to what looked like sarcophaguses on the ground.
He led me along the outside of the wall to a bench. Bending down, he lifted the seat to reveal a storage below. Reaching in, he pulled out a pair of boots and tossed them to me.
“Put these on,” he folded his arms across his chest, but his expression was softened.
I caught the boots and went to the nearest bench. I set my new sword beside me and cleaned my sand-coated feet before pulling on the futuristic-looking boots. They were made of flexible material and had a good grip on the soles. The outside, although pliable, was oddly tough. I was tempted to poke it with my knife but was interrupted by Eld, who cleared his throat.
In the center of the walled area was a pedestal with a bowled indent filled with liquid on the top. Like a built-in birdbath, the widths of the cylindrical pillar. A narrow circle of liquid separated the pedestal from the pathway on the ground around the pedestal. The floor of the platform with the pedestal was polished metal.
Unlike the Arc and Zan substances, this was solid dark gray, like a polished mirror of dark graphite. The mercury-like liquid in the bowl and the circle swirled like jets were bubbling and pushing the thick substance around.
“This is a Temporal Gate or TG. This is the lowest difficulty TG entrance on site. There are others, but you will only use this. And only while accompanied by either of us until you prove you can be independent.” His formerly stern tone softened as he continued.
“Be patient, but show you can handle this, and we will travel further through other interior gates.”
“Nothing you see today will be able to threaten you. It is what you cannot see with your eyes, the Source within a gate, that will be vastly more dangerous,” He stepped within a foot of me, and only then did I realize I was taller than him by a few inches. Looking up into my eyes, he continued with complete seriousness. “You have a strong affinity and talent with Arc. But for now, I warn you not to gather inside the gate and especially not to attempt interacting with anything in the Source.”
“You mentioned if but never explained; what is the source?” I interrupted any further directions; I needed more context.
“When you gathered before, did you see your body and Arc around you?” He asked while giving me more space and waiting till I nodded affirmation.
“There are many layers in what we call the Source. There are even more names for each layer. I will give you the most common. You will learn more in the academies.
The first layer is Base. Getting there is called Jumping. Most people feel a sudden drop upon entering it in mediation. It is considered the shallowest layer for non-condensed Arc and Zan.
Did you notice anything in the cloud of Arc around you?”
“At first, I saw dots, then clouds and fog, but then I started seeing shapes like birds and snakes, but nothing was too defined.”
“Not good,” Eld sat on one of the benches. “If you saw more than clumpy forms, you have already progressed your authority beyond base or, worse; you might be able to traverse beyond your authority.”
“What you were seeing was the edge of the next layer, usually called Sky,” he continued but had a blank stare. “All the more reason to avoid gathering or exerting authority.” Gathering his thoughts, he stood and walked to the circle’s platform.
“You are already under scrutiny from some powerful people on both sides of Arcana and Zancara. You don’t need to get added to the hit list of a Source Prince or something worse. There are even layers I don’t dare brush up against, and not even I can protect you if you walk into them.”
What I need is simple for this trip: don’t close your eyes to perceive the Arc in the Source around us while inside the gate. Talent can lead to foolish or just arrogant mistakes. There’s no Luck stat with Arcana or Zancara. You should know by now we don’t do stats like on Earth.
“You understand? I’m deadly serious; don’t gather. Let us know if you run low on Arc or need something while inside. We are going for the experience and to show you the creatures inside a gate.
“Take this bag; you’ll need to carry your gear eventually. You might as well start with something now.”
“What about spatial storage, like a bag of holding or something?”
“Not today, just wear the bag and step onto the platform.”