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Cosa Nostra LitRPG
Chapter 13: Baby Yoda Is Pretty Rad

Chapter 13: Baby Yoda Is Pretty Rad

I parked my new Ford Mustang and took the key out of the ignition. My old Honda Civic had served me well over the years, but it had finally been time to upgrade. I hated to admit it, but being a drug dealer hadn’t been as awful as I’d expected it to be. Selling to The Xtremers hadn’t sat right with me, so I’d opted to sell to people at the casino instead. The deals had gone smoothly over the past couple of months and I was earning more money than I knew what to do with. Mia and I were talking about getting an apartment together when her lease was up in a few months.

I also made a personal rule for myself to never sell anyone a high amount of drugs. So far nobody had overdosed or had any adverse reactions, so my conscience was clean. You always hear on the news about how dangerous and instantly addictive this stuff is, but it seemed like you just needed to limit the amount you took so that you didn’t build up a tolerance. I never tested the drugs out myself, but I tried my best to keep my customers from becoming junkies. So far, so good. I felt silly for being so worried earlier about how things would work out.

“You ready to go?” Mia asked.

“Yeah, let’s do this,” I said.

We got out of the car and headed into the building across the street. The night air felt cool and I noticed Mia shivering a little. I took off my denim jacket and handed it to her. She smiled and put it on as I knocked on the door.

“We’re here for the financial conference,” I said.

The door swung open to let Mia and me into the casino. I nodded at the guy who was doing security. Mia thought that it would be fun to visit it again though. She’d been asking lately why I spent so much time there even after I switched over to my bodyguard job, so I decided to bring her back and show her that I wasn’t up to anything bad. I didn’t want her to think I was cheating on her or keeping some big secret and I figured that if I brought her along she’d feel like I had nothing to hide.

“Wow, this place looks completely different now,” Mia said.

“Yeah, the owner has put a lot of money into fixing it up, I said.

The casino had gotten a major facelift since the first time I’d been there. Between the money we were making from the security jobs and dealing, Angelo had saved up more than enough to finish the renovations he’d been discussing. The bathroom on the first floor was finally completed and it even had a bidet. Everyone was grateful for that. There were games on both floors of the building now instead of just the second floor.

The walls had a fresh coat of cream-colored paint that made the room seem brighter. New poker tables with a black and gold color scheme replaced the old tables. The bar had been upgraded to a more minimalistic and modern design with the same black and gold colors. I waved at Sammy the bartender as I walked in. She was so swamped with orders that she barely had time to wave back. A strong aroma of cigarette smoke used to hit you in the face as soon as you entered the club, but now you were greeted by a fresh & flowery scent thanks to an air diffuser.

The decor of the room wasn’t the only thing that changed. There were a lot of new players joining in the games. We’d been using our security jobs to recommend the casino to the people we worked for. They were all carefully vetted and knew not to do anything stupid like posting about the casino online. We’d cultivated an exclusive high-end club and they felt special being a part of it. Now the place had more influencers and C-list celebrities in it than our old regulars. Uncle Luca had grumbled about pushing out the regulars at first, but he’d changed his tune when he saw how much more money the influencers were willing to spend on the games. The casino had never been more profitable.

“How did you get a job at a place like this anyway?” Mia asked. “It’s not like they can post a job listing online, so how’d you find out about it?”

“I guess you could say that I had an inside connection,” I said. “And I’m glad that I took the job. If I hadn’t then I wouldn’t have met you,” I said.

That earned me a quick kiss. “Yeah, you’re one lucky guy,” She smiled.

“Nico? Is that you?” interrupted a voice from behind me.

I turned around to see the grinning face of my old friend, Tommy Fiore. Tommy and I grew up together and had gone to all the same schools as kids, but we’d started to drift apart a bit since going to different colleges. This was my first time seeing him since I’d gotten back.

“Dude, it’s been forever! How’s it going?” I said, dapping him up.

“Pretty good.

“Tommy, this is my girlfriend Mia. Mia, this is Tommy. We’ve known each other forever.”

“Hi, nice to meet you,”

“The pleasure’s all mine. But, I’ve gotta ask. What do you see in this guy?” Tommy joked.

“He’s a goofball, but he grows on you,” Mia said.

Tommy chuckled. “Alright. But if he ever gives you any trouble, let me know and I’ll come straighten him out.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal,” Mia said. I rolled my eyes as they shook on it.

“It’s a good thing that I bumped into you, Nico,” Tommy said. “There’s something that I wanted to talk to you about. You mind if I talk to you in private for a second?”

“Sure, no problem,” I said. I turned to Mia. “Sorry, this won’t take long. Go get us a couple of seats by the bar and I’ll be back soon.”

She nodded and headed over to the bar. Tommy led me over to the corner of the room.

“So what’s up?” I said.

Tommy fidgeted a bit. “It’s kind of awkward to ask about this, but I heard that you have access to.. things.”

“What do you mean?” I had an idea of where this was going but I still needed to hear him say it.

Tommy leaned in and whispered. “I heard you have Ecstasy. Can you hook me up?”

I sighed. “Listen, I’d love to help you out but I can’t right now. I’m in the middle of a date and I don’t want her to see me doing this stuff. I think she’s already starting to get suspicious.”

“Please, dude. You’d be doing me a huge favor. I’m supposed to be meeting up with some people later and I told them that I could get my hands on some. I’m gonna look like an asshole if I show up empty-handed.

“You are an asshole,” I laughed. “But fine. I think I have some in my car. Let’s get this over with quickly.”

We left the building and jogged over to my car. I unlocked it, looked around, and pulled out a bag that I kept in my trunk. Tommy reached into his left pants pocket and surprise flashed across his face. He anxiously patted his other pockets.

“Shit, I can’t find my wallet,” He said. “Sorry, let me check my car.”

I locked my car and tucked the bag in my pocket before following him up the block to his car. Tommy checked the floor, the glove compartment, and the back seat of his car but the wallet was nowhere to be found.

Tommy started biting his nails. “Where the hell could it be? Could you help me look for it?”

“Alright,” I said, peering into the car. “You don’t remember the last place that you saw it?”

I heard him walk behind me and move to the other side of the car.

“I’m sorry about this, Nico,” Tommy said.

“Sorry about wha-” A strong whack on the back of my head interrupted me before I could finish that thought. I slumped to the ground like a puppet that had its strings cut. Then everything went black.

My eyes shot open. I groaned. My head was killing me. I tried to reach up and touch the wound on the back of my head, but I realized that I was tied up. My feet were tied together too and I was in a cramped, dark environment. I felt a bump underneath me and pieced together that I was inside a trunk. Panic set in. I had no idea what was going on. My first thought was to call out for help, but my screams were muffled by a gag tied around my mouth. I sat alone in the darkness for what felt like an eternity, wracking my brain to figure out why this was happening. The car finally stopped and I tensed up as I waited for the trunk to open.

A huge pair of hands grabbed me roughly and hauled me out of the trunk. They threw me over their shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I heard the clang of keys and the screech of a door swinging open. We entered a building and I saw meat hanging from the ceiling. I figured that it had to be a butcher’s shop or something like that and my confusion continued to grow. They carried me into a cold room in the back and dropped me to the bloodstained floor.

“Put him in the chair,” I heard a voice say.

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Someone picked me up and flung me onto a metal chair. I finally got a good look at my kidnappers.

Rocco Mancini

Mafia Soldier, Caruso Family

James Albero

Mafia Soldier, Caruso Family

I should’ve known. My uncle had been excited about cutting the Caruso family out and finding our own supplier for drugs. He’d been convincing when he said that we wouldn’t be pissing them off since we were dealing completely different drugs than them now, but it looked like we’d all been too naive. They were greedy and weren’t going to allow us any chance to flourish. Fear welled up in the pit of my stomach.

“I don’t know who you people are, but you’re making a mistake. You’ve got the wrong guy,” I said.

The bigger one of the pair, Rocco, pulled my wallet out of his pocket and held up my driver’s license. It had an awkward picture of me from back when I had long hair. “Is this you? Domenico Moretti?” He asked.

“It’s not the best picture of me, but yeah, that’s me,” I admitted.

Rocco sneered. “Then it looks like we have the right guy.”

“This has to be some kind of misunderstanding. We’ve never met before so I have no idea what you want from me,” I said.

“Now that’s something I can agree with,” Rocco said. “There has been a misunderstanding. You Morreti jackoffs seem to be misunderstanding how things work. You think you can deal on Caruso turf without giving us our cut?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said.

“Yeah? Then what’s this?’ He said, holding up the baggie of drugs I’d put in my pocket earlier.

“Your prescription? It’s obvious that you need to be medicated,” I said with a smirk.

He narrowed his eyes “Funny.”

Without warning, he put his full body weight behind a punch. Blood spurted out of my face like a geyser and I was sure that he’d broken my nose. My eyes started to tear up from the pain but I fought with everything I had to keep the tears from falling. There was no way I was going to give these assholes the satisfaction of seeing that this was getting to me.

Blood dripped into my mouth as I forced a smile. “Is that all you got?”

He glared and wound up his fist again, but his friend stopped him.

“He’s baiting you, idiot. We have a job to do, remember?”

“Right. Sorry,” Rocco said. He looked at me and cracked his knuckles. “Enough fucking around. You’re going to tell us who your new supplier is. I don’t know how you Morettis got your hands on such high-quality shit, but that’s gonna stop now.”

I knew that Ershon was smart but his drugs must have been even better than I thought if they were getting the Carusos so agitated. There was no way that I was going to betray my family though.

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” I said.

Rocco didn’t like that. He glanced over at James who gave him a nod. The goon’s face twisted in a grimace and he unleashed a flurry of punches on me like we were in a UFC title fight. I felt a crunch as one of his blows hit my ribs and almost passed out again. Willpower was the only thing that kept me conscious. No matter how many times they asked me, I refused to give them any information. I even tried to activate Mean Mug at one point to command them to let me go, but it didn't work. That 25% success rate was driving me crazy. My two captors took turns beating the shit out of me for hours on end, but I refused to give in.

“This kid’s tougher than he looks,” James said eventually. “We might need to bring in Ivan.”

“Uh, are you sure about this? Do we need to go that far? I’m sure we could break this guy ourselves if you give me some more time,” Rocco said.

“The boss wants us to get results ASAP,” said James, “And you know that nobody gets results like Ivan.”

Rocco shivered. “Yeah, but he gives me the creeps. I keep telling you, there’s something wrong with him.”

James rolled his eyes. “He tortures people for a living. Of course, there’s something wrong with him. That’s what makes him good at what he does.”

“Fine, bring him in. And maybe he can cut the kid’s finger off and give us that ring. That thing was stuck on tight as hell,” Rocco said. “But make sure that freak stays far away from me.”

James stepped away and dialed a number on his phone.

“Hey, Ivan. I know that it’s late but we’ve got a job that we need your help with,” He said. “Great, I’ll text you the details. If you get here in 15 minutes, we’ll double your rate. Bye.”

James glanced at me. “You’re in for it now, punk. If I were you, I’d just tell us what we want to know right now. Ivan ain’t someone you ever want to have to meet.”

“I’m not telling you shit,” I said.

He shrugged. “I was just trying to help you out. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

NEW ACTIVE QUEST

QUEST: THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION

OBJECTIVE: GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE!

TIME LIMIT: 1 HOUR

REWARD: 500 XP

We only had to wait for about 10 minutes before we heard a car screech to stop outside. James walked over to let Ivan in. Ivan was a short man wearing oversized glasses, a Baby Yoda shirt, some wrinkled jeans, and scuffed-up white sneakers. He had a bowl haircut and carried a pink duffel bag with him that made clanking noises as he moved.

At first glance, he looked more like someone you’d see at a comic book convention than a mafia torture site. I didn’t understand why they’d been making such a big deal about how intense this guy was. But the cold smile he gave me when our eyes met sent shivers down my spine. It felt like I was underwater about to get ripped to shreds by a shark. His aura was overwhelmingly dark and malevolent. After that, I had no doubts that this man was exactly where he belonged.

“This is subject, yes?” He said in a thick Russian accent.

“Yeah, we’ve been whaling on him nonstop but the little prick is tougher than he looks. We need you to work your magic.”

Ivan looked me up and down. He slowly circled me, mumbling to himself. When he walked back in front of me, he clapped his hands together once. Everybody jumped at the abrupt sound.

“It shall be done,” he said simply.

“Good. We’ll be waiting in the other room. Let us know when you’re finished,” said Goon 2. He hurried out of the room like someone had lit his ass on fire.

Ivan plopped his duffel bag onto the table and slowly unzipped it. He started to hum an upbeat song that I didn’t recognize while he pulled various items out of the bag. Pretty soon there were two big jugs of milk, a rag, rubbing alcohol, a butter knife, and a mini circular saw on the table before me.

“Okay, my friend. Before we begin, let me offer final chance,” he said. “Give up name of supplier, I don’t hurt you. You turn down offer, I don’t think you like what happen next.”

I sighed. “Alright, fine. I’ll tell you the name. It’s Fuh. Fuh Koff.”

Ivan stared at me blankly for a moment before understanding spread across his face. He doubled over with laughter that sounded like a car engine that wouldn’t start.

“Nobody told me you are comedian,” he chuckled. “This is good. Sense of humor help you last longer once the torture begin. More fun for me.”

Ivan picked up the rag and put it over my face. Before I could protest, he dumped some of the milk over my face. I choked and gasped for air. Right when I felt like I was about to drown, the milk stopped flowing into my mouth. Ivan took the rag off my face.

“Milkboarding even more effective than waterboarding,” He said. “Milk stick to rag better. Very painful. Ready to talk now, my friend?”

“Go to hell,” I croaked.

He gave me the same unsettling smile as if he’d been hoping that I’d say that and covered my face with the rag again. Another wave of milk crashed onto me. My lungs felt like they were being barbecued. I didn’t know how much longer I could stand this. Everything inside of me was begging for the pain to end. But I couldn’t betray my Uncle or the rest of the gang like that. And I knew that once I told Ivan the info that he wanted, he wouldn’t have any reason to keep me alive.

I thought back to the quest announcement. If the system had given me a quest to escape from the warehouse, then that meant that there was a way out. I just needed to figure out what it was. Even though it seemed like a futile gesture, I tried to wriggle my hands out of the ropes that bound them together. The gem in the center of my ring cut one of my fingers, drawing a bead of blood. A lightbulb went off in my head.

“Hey, Ivan. It looks like we’re going to be stuck together for a while, so we might as well get to know each other a little better,” I said.

“Oh? What you have in mind?”

“I couldn’t help but notice your shirt. Baby Yoda is pretty rad, but I was curious about what you think of the Star Wars sequel trilogy. Isn’t the original trilogy way better?”

“Do not even get me started! Disney doesn’t know what they doing with series!”

Ivan went off on a ten minute long rant about how Disney didn’t understand the true essence of Star Wars and were running the franchise into the ground. I nodded along and added in little comments when necessary to prompt him to keep talking. My goal was to keep him distracted while I carefully rubbed my ring finger against the rope that tied my hands together. I felt the rope slowly fray and loosen. Freedom was within my grasp. I just needed to figure out how I’d get away from Ivan once I got the ropes off.

Ivan suddenly stopped his anti-Disney sermon. “What are you doing?” He said.

“Just listening to your riveting and well thought out arguments about why Star Wars is going down the crapper,” I said. “Please continue. You were saying something about how it’s getting too woke.”

Ivan shook his head. “No. I think you are playing the trick on me. You try to distract me, but I must get back to working. Time to be getting serious.”

Ivan picked up the mini saw and plugged it into a nearby outlet. I started moving the ring even faster. The blades on the saw whirred to life.

“Please just tell name. Things get unpleasant if you don’t” Ivan yelled over the sound of the saw. Sweat rolled down my face as he slowly walked toward me.

“Okay! Okay! I’ll tell you. Just put that thing down,” I said.

“No. Tell me and I put down,” He said.

He was standing about a foot away from me at this point. It was now or never. I snapped my hands out of the loose ropes and flung myself forward. My head slammed into Ivan’s skull knocking him down. The saw fell out of his hand at hit the floor. My feet were still tied up and ended up falling inches away from the blades of the saw. While Ivan was still dazed, I lined up my feet with the saw and it quickly slashed the ropes in half. I quickly moved away before it could start cutting into my skin.

The door to the room slammed open. “What the hell is going on in here?” Rocco said, with James following close behind him. They quickly took in the sight of Ivan getting back on his feet unsteadily and me lying on the ground, free from my restraints

My face felt like raw hamburger meat, I probably had a concussion & a broken rib, and my lungs felt like someone had taken a cheese grater to them. I had dried blood all over my face. My chest was a mass of bruises. There was nothing I wanted more in that moment than to lay down and rest. But I forced myself to stumble onto my feet. I was done with being their punching bag. It was time to take action.

“Listen, I’m tired and I just want to get the fuck out of here,” I said. “If you let me go right now, I promise not to open up a can.”

Rocco gave me a bewildered look. “Open up a can? What?”

“You know. A can of whoop-ass,” I said.

James rolled his eyes. “Let's knock this clown out.”

I gave them a wry smile and got into a fighting pose. “It’s your funeral. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”