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Convicted
Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Li woke a short time later and at first expected to hear the ship's bell tolling the watch, unsure what else would have woken him, as it seemed the whales had moved on. Instead, he heard what sounded like crying. He rolled over and saw Ardlac sitting on the edge of the bunk, his head bowed and his shoulders shaking.

"What is it?" Li asked, sitting up. He moved next to Ardlac and slipped his arm around his shoulders, gripping his far shoulder comfortingly.

Ardlac turned and buried his head against Li's shoulder and continued to cry. "Thank you," he managed to say between his soft sobs.

Li wasn't certain what he was being thanked for, but he wrapped both his arms around Ardlac and held him tightly.

It took several long moments before Ardlac finally seemed to have control of himself, but he kept his head on Li's shoulder. "My powers came back," he whispered, his tone awed.

Li's mind flew back to that incredibly intimate and tender kiss they had shared perhaps less than an hour ago, and he nearly sobbed himself at the full understanding of what it truly did mean. He finally allowed his emotions to come forward, no longer pushed them aside for fear that Ardlac did not feel the same. If Ardlac's magic had returned to him, he surely felt a connection to Li like he had felt toward Seith. He tightened his hold on Ardlac.

"If you don't feel anything other than friendship toward me, I accept that," Ardlac told him quietly. "But I know now that I love you. I won't press you for any commitment. It's enough that you don't toss me away completely if you don't feel the same."

"I do," Li hurried to assure him. "I was afraid to tell you because I knew if you felt the same your magic would have returned already. I was afraid to break my own heart."

"I'm sorry. I didn't allow myself to recognize it," Ardlac confessed. "I was too afraid. But when I lay there with you, listening to the whales, it overwhelmed me. I realized how much I enjoyed spending time with you, how much I worried about you in battle, how much I cared about your wellbeing. How much I loved you. That was why I kissed you. I wasn't even thinking of my powers returning, only how much I wanted to have you in my life for years to come, not just until your sentence with us is over. I was starting to suspect how I truly felt, but I had been forcing it away. Several times recently my powers had been just outside my grasp, so close I could feel them, but it wasn't until I acknowledged that I love you that they finally returned. I recognized that with you I feel at home, wanted and accepted for who I am."

Li kissed the top of Ardlac's head. "I do love you for who you are. I've been falling for you since I first glimpsed who you truly are, not who you had forced yourself to be."

The watch bell tolled and Ardlac sighed. "Damn that bell."

"Will you be all right to attend the watch?" Li asked. He took one arm from around Ardlac to gently run his fingers through Ardlac's hair.

Ardlac nodded against him. "I will. When we return, though, there are a few ghosts I need to allow in. If I do it now, I won't be capable of enduring the watch tonight. And there is no time." He stood and took a deep breath, then wiped his eyes, which were bloodshot and still moist. "Come."

Li followed Ardlac to the deck. He wondered only briefly who wanted to visit with him. Certainly one of those ghosts was Seith, and Li could not think of being upset by that knowledge. The only pain he felt about it was in that he knew Ardlac would be hurt. He truly hoped to speak to Ash again himself, but he wasn't certain Ash would know where to find him if he even wanted to visit. Though, he had to admit that he knew nothing of how spirits traveled between the realms of the living and the dead. He would not hope too much to see Ash only to be disappointed.

Ardlac sighed as he stood on the deck and looked out to sea. "No necromancers," he murmured.

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Li suddenly recalled a detail of the battle from the day before. "You sensed the necromancers who came upon the battle, didn't you?"

Ardlac nodded and wiped his eyes again. "Faintly. Very faintly. There was enough of a sense of my powers trying to return to me that I had the vague idea that they were necromancers. Then the feeling fled and I needed Hayel to be certain my judgement was correct. They know I'm Asir and had lost my powers. They trusted me because of that to respond to my warning."

Li nodded thoughtfully. He squeezed Ardlac's hand and resisted the urge to kiss him on deck. Such things weren't truly frowned upon, but they were on watch, after all.

By the time they returned to their cabin after the watch, Ardlac was somewhat more composed, but Li was surprised to find himself pulled into another sweet and intimate kiss the moment their door was closed.

"I need to speak to Seith," Ardlac murmured when they parted. "I understand if that makes you uncomfortable and you don't wish to be here."

Li shook his head and caressed Ardlac's cheek. "If it comforts you, I will stay right beside you. Unless you want me to leave?"

"Please stay," Ardlac whispered. "I want you to meet him, though it may be a strange meeting for you."

"Does he know I'm here with you?" Li asked. He didn't want to anger a ghost, or make one jealous.

Ardlac nodded. "His presence is with us now, I merely need to welcome him so he can take a form that will allow him to communicate more openly."

"Go on, then," Li murmured.

"Thank you." Ardlac went to sit on the bunk and Li followed, sitting beside him and resting a hand on his thigh. Ardlac took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a long moment. When he opened them again, his eyes had gone momentarily silver around the pupil, but quickly faded to their usual blue.

Li's attention was quickly diverted to the figure standing before them. He looked much like any other member of the crew, dressed in a loose shirt and trousers, with boots on his feet and a scarf around his long brown hair. His eyes were deep brown and his face was covered by a neatly-trimmed and short beard. His arms were dotted with tattoos similar to the rest of the crew's. His expression, instead of being sad at seeing the lover he had been separated from by death, was much closer to an expression of joy.

He stepped forward and and stroked Ardlac's cheek, and Li saw the tear that slipped from Ardlac's eye. He quickly squeezed Ardlac's thigh in a gesture of comfort.

The ghost of Seith looked at Li and smiled, using his other hand to squeeze Li's shoulder. The touch, though it felt very real, was inhumanly cold.

"I'm thankful you found love again," Seith told Ardlac, his voice hushed and strangely flat. "I was worried for you."

Ardlac cleared his throat. "As was I."

"I promise you," Seith went on, "that if you remain in love by the time you join me in the Spirit Realm, I will not seek to make a sole claim on your love. I will happily share your love with any who hold sway over your heart."

"Thank you," Ardlac murmured. "I will never forget you and the love I still have for you, even should I live a hundred years. Though I'm certain you will frequently remind me," he added with a smile.

Seith smiled as well. "Your powers make that much easier." Then his smile faded a bit. "I have been here with you. It has been difficult to tell you, but I've been here as often as I could be."

Ardlac nodded. "I know. Not being able to feel you or hear you, though I knew you were here, was difficult to accept."

"I know." He kissed Ardlac's forehead. "I am not very strong, though. I can't hold this form much longer."

Ardlac nodded again. "You may leave whenever you wish, and I'll open a way for you to visit as often as is safe."

"Very good," Seith replied. "I will try not to speak to you too much, so you can enjoy your time with your living lover," he added, smiling again at Li and giving him another pat on the shoulder.

"Thank you," Li said reflexively.

Seith nodded to him. "Of course. I trust you'll care for our Ardlac."

"I will," Li promised.

Seith smiled again, then gave Ardlac's cheek a final caress before vanishing.

After a long, silent moment, Ardlac sighed. "It was good to see him. I still miss him and will always love him, but it was interesting to see how death changed him."

"What do you mean?" Li asked, curious.

"He used to talk much more roughly," Ardlac explained. "Somehow, his way of speaking changed while still remaining somewhat the same. It was his voice, also, but slightly different."

"You hadn't noticed that with others?"

Ardlac shook his head. "I haven't known any others so intimately. My heart still knows it is him, though. Our souls still connect deeply."

Li nodded thoughtfully, caressing Ardlac's knee. "Can he speak to you without being fully here like that?"

"Yes," Ardlac answered. "He spoke to me when I first realized my powers had returned, but I asked to take the watch so Mond wasn't too suspicious. I don't want him to send Hayel away because I have my powers again. I'll need to speak to him eventually." He cleared his throat. "There's someone else here who wants to visit. Li, would you like to speak to Ash?"