Novels2Search
Convicted
Chapter 14

Chapter 14

That night, Li was awoken shortly before the usual time for his watch duty, and for a moment wasn't certain why. Then he heard the low, aching moan that echoed through the ship and seemed to come somehow both from within and without the ship. At first, he tried to explain it to himself as the sound of the prisoners in pain, but their locked and guarded cabin was far from them, near Captain Mond's cabin. Then, he thought perhaps it was any of his neighbors enjoying each other's company again, but the deep, low moan was far outside the range of sounds a person could make, and did not seem to be coming from any cabin around them.

Beside him, he felt Ardlac shift and sigh. As much as he had been hoping to avoid conversation with him, Li was still far too curious to not ask, "What is that sound?"

"Whales," Ardlac replied. "Shay ones, I believe. You'll see them when we go up for watch."

Li attempted to sleep again, but the haunting moans of the whales kept him from truly being able to again. By the time they went on deck for their watch, he was interested in seeing what the whales looked like.

The moonlight and the watch lanterns were enough for him to glimpse the massive shapes breaking the surface of the sea, expelling great geysers of water from their backs and diving back below the surface.

"The adults are longer than this ship," Ardlac explained, leaning on the rail beside him. "The Berks hunt them for the oil they make from their fat, so there are fewer of them than there once were."

A great head peaked above the waves and seemed to assess the Gryphon with a dark eye as large as Li's head. The whale's head was sleak, though it appeared to be streaked with scars. Li could hardly define the shape of it, except that it reminded him of the head of a snake, but on a much larger scale. It watched the ship for a moment, then dove down below the waves again, flicking its massive tail against the surface as it did so. Li was surprised to hear Ardlac chuckle as the splash hit them both.

"They won't harm the ship?" Li asked, concerned by the size of the whales.

"They are gentle creatures," Ardlac assured him. "They only become dangerous when their offspring are threatened or they are in pain. The Berks risk their lives to hunt them."

Throughout their watch, Li kept an eye on the whales, but by the end of their time on deck the whales had moved on, leaving them only the sound of the waves lapping against the hull and the flap of the sails.

Li took his breakfast with Aricka and Garstin before returning to his cabin. He was tired from having lost sleep to the whales, but he knew Ardlac had returned to the cabin already and wished to be away from him.

"Ardlac told you about the whales?" Aricka asked him.

Li nodded. "I've never seen anything like them. I was happy to learn something of them."

"Ardlac loves whales," Garstin commented. "He has always been excited to see them whenever we meet with a pod. Doesn't matter what kind of whale, he loves them all."

Li nodded again. "He did seem to enjoy them."

"Has he become any kinder?" Aricka questioned.

Li had not told either of them of Ardlac's offer and his rejection of it. It was not something he cared to discuss with anyone, even those he did consider friends. He was not going to discuss it now, especially not with Jayce sitting beside Garstin, quiet but observant as always.

He wasn't sure how to avoid the question, however, so he rolled his bread between his hands and shrugged. "Not any kinder than he must be," he replied vaguely.

Garstin sighed. "He's a stubborn man."

Not wishing to talk about Ardlac anymore, he stuffed the last of his food in his mouth, then got up from the table. "The whales kept me awake. I'm going to see if I can sleep now."

They waved him away and wished him a sound sleep and good dreams. He made his way to his cabin, past other cabins where heard mixes of snores, moans, laughter, and conversation. When he reached his cabin he was surprised to find Ardlac sitting on the bunk, a small box open on his lap.

Ardlac looked up when Li entered the cabin, and Li noticed the tears on his face. He quickly wiped them away and closed the box. He stood and placed the box in one of the room's two locked cabinets, both of which were open. Li had never seen either cabinet open.

"I really have been unwelcoming and unfriendly," Ardlac said quietly. He closed and locked the cabinet he'd placed the box in. "I haven't been myself for some time, and I'm ashamed of how I've treated you. I apologize for it. I know you think I'm a cold, selfish person, and that is how I've acted. That isn't how I once was, and I'm hoping to bring myself back to the man I was, or at least close to it."

Li was tempted to ask if it was all because he had rejected Ardlac, but even he could see that something much deeper was bothering Ardlac. He waited by the door, not speaking, merely watching while Ardlac stood and fingered the bracelets he'd received from the Dreamers, his gaze far away.

"I've been thinking about the things you said to me that night," Ardlac went on. "Thank you for making my behavior clearer to me. Aricka and some others have told me I've not been myself, but you helped me truly realize it. Seeing the whales also reminded me how much joy I had been rejecting by being so enmeshed in my own pain. I wish to attempt to mend things with you."

He glanced up, and Li saw the pain in those piercing blue eyes.

"I don't mean so you won't reject me again," Ardlac clarified. "Sex is far from my mind at the moment. I only want us to be friends, as partners should be. Whether anything else happens, I'm not concerned. I only want to make you feel more welcome here, for however long you remain with us. I made room for you to use the other cabinet, as I should have done before you arrived. I simply wasn't ready then to move Seith's things."

Ardlac's gaze had gone distant again, and his eyes shone with a pain Li knew himself. Li went to the bunk and sat down, and spoke before he realized what he was going to say.

"I'll give you the opportunity to change. It would make things easier for me if you were more friendly."

Ardlac looked somewhat relieved. "Thank you. I'm not certain I can ever be exactly as I once was, but I will do everything I can to be kinder to you. The loss of both Seith and my magic has been difficult to cope with, and it may stay with me for a very long time."

"What happened?" Li asked, then regretted asking such a personal question. He'd already gotten something of an idea from Aricka and Garstin about Ardlac's situation, and realized he shouldn't have asked.

Ardlac swallowed and toyed with his bracelets again. "Seith and I were lovers. I cared more for him than I've ever cared for anyone before. After only a year together, he was wounded when we took a prize. He died three days later, despite everything we did for him. When he died, my magic left me. I'm sure you've heard I'm an Asir, with powers connected to the soul. It's common for many Asir who are men to lose their ability to use their magic when they have nothing to tether them to the realm of the living. Most simplify this into the concept of home. It can be a family or a lover or a place that holds their loyalty. For me, it was Seith. To lose the connection to my lover and to my magic at the same time has caused me more pain than I ever imagined I could endure."

Li looked down at his own bracelet from the Dreamers and thought of his own recent loss. Despite the small voice in his mind telling him to keep the wall between them he had been building, he patted the bunk beside him. Ardlac hesitated briefly, then crossed the cabin and sat down beside him.

"I know some of that pain," Li said quietly. "I've never had magic, but I know the loss of someone you hold above everything else." His voice broke as he spoke the final words and cleared his throat. "Healing is not easy, or terribly quick."

Tears streamed down Ardlac's face, and Li reached for him without a second thought. The moment Li touched him, Ardlac broke down into sobs. Li simply held him, and kept his doubts far away.