An alarm had been going off for a while before my body actually responded. It rang just loud enough to wake me but morning drowsiness made getting up difficult. Virtual reality had screwed up my sleep schedule.
One eye sat closed while the other tried to bring up an in-house digital display. All this technology and the off button still felt too far away. Projectors mounted in the room’s corners and ceiling aligned to cast out an image. A bright red cross sat there daring me to shut the noise off. My finger jabbed at least three times before finally shutting up the noise.
On any normal day, I would have been getting out of bed putting on my clothes and walking towards the Trillium van. From there I would choose a simple job that sat out of range of other repair employees and try to wake up from there. Coffee and breakfast would come from a drive through on the way, and my teeth might be brushed while in the car.
Since playing Continue Online the routine of handling each day had been shattered. I took a few labored breaths trying to figure out why my back felt so tense. My head hurt, and muscles ached from the EXR-Seven’s feedback. Apparently high heart rate and swinging at a digital giant counted as heavy exertion.
Scenes from last night played through my brain again. A huge monster crawled out of a pit after making knocking sounds that only I and the Voices seemed capable of hearing. Did [Altered Aura] have a part to play in that? The game text had recognized me as being too close to the Voices, and I was set aside from Travelers and Locals in that regard. [NPC Conspiracy] had made Locals treat me like one of their own anyway.
When was the last time an NPC or virtual person had called me a Traveler? They seemed to acknowledge I was from another world at the same time danced around it like I had been there all along. AIs were with me at work. They were in my ARC and in the end Xin had joined their ranks.
Feet finally moved and I tried to work out the kinks. Ten minutes wouldn’t set me back much. Maybe I was nervous. Meeting in person wasn’t the same as talking on a video call or passing notes back and forth. I shook my head, those were excuses designed to downplay my nervousness. It was time to log into the ARC and meet up with her. Well, and the others, but mostly Xin.
I lay down and logged into the Atrium. There was a mess everywhere. Apparently Dusk had eaten more than cupcakes. Even now the culprit lay down on a couch that I didn’t remember purchasing. He looked like a huge cat with wings purring contentedly.
One finger poked at the back of his head. The [Messenger’s Pet] opened his eyes and yawned widely.
“Did you even try to use the trashcan?” I pointed to the garbage around us. My eyes scanned the mess again, and I recognized the couch after a while. It was the same one I had used as part of replicating the old house.
It felt oddly fitting for Dusk to be resting on it. He stretched and claws tore into the siding a bit. I frowned at him.
“I asked you to use the trashcan.” My eyebrows lowered.
His head shook and wings shivered. Dusk jumped up, completely ignoring me, and scampered through the doorway to Continue Online. His tail sat low to the ground the entire way.
“You could at least do the other thing I asked about!” I shouted after him.
Dusk had apparently forgotten about my own grand plan. It wasn’t one I had discussed out loud since the Voices might not approve of me using the [Messenger’s Pet] to transfer items from my Atrium down to Continue Online. Maybe they wouldn’t care. My chest heaved with a virtual sigh as I tried to find the box.
“ARC!” I shouted at the machine.
“Awaiting Input.”
“Where’s the ring?” I asked.
“Clarification needed to formulate an answer.” The interface stated.
“What do you mean clarification? How many other rings have I bought?” I felt fed up with nearly everything. The alarm clock blaring had set me off poorly, and seeing my Atrium as a complete mess didn’t help. Dusk’s claw marks of the couch served as icing on the situation.
“Clarification is needed.” It insisted.
“ARC,” I chewed on my lip for a moment. “Please tell me where the ring I purchased a few days ago went.”
Dusk’s head poked back in through the Continue Online doorway. Behind him sat darkness, and in his mouth was a small box with wrapping around it.
“Ring located. It is currently in front of you.” The ARC put down a bobbing arrow over the box in Dusk’s mouth. The [Messenger’s Pet] seemed to be laughing. There were no thought bubbles above his head to assist while here in the Atrium. I was willing to bet he had those silly question marks and a smile.
“Thank you.” I directed my words towards the ARC while walking towards the doorway. The reason my ARC couldn’t find the ring or sounded clueless had to do with my companion running away with it.
Dusk vanished again while I chased after him shaking my fist. “You better not lose that or no more cupcakes!” I said.
The Atrium faded away as I logged straight into Hermes. I looked around. We stood near four stone pillars that towered over me. The only player in sight was Shadow.
“We meet again, Hermes,” He said with a slight nod. The teenager’s voice was gruffer than his face implied. I squinted and tried to make out more features but something about his face looked indistinct.
“Where are the others, or Xin? I thought we were meeting her.”
“She’s already on the other side, getting ready. Thorny, Awesome Jr. and Wyl went through as well.”
“Oh.” I frowned and wrinkled my forehead. “Why couldn’t my autopilot keep going?”
“Autopilots can’t do this part. Not the first time.”
“That’s new,” I said slowly while trying to reevaluate what was going on. Awesome Jr. had mentioned something about a doorway or portal to [The Shadow Zone], but I had no idea what exactly it had entailed.
“I’ll open the door, but first I need to warn you, the path through is a bit of a mind fuck.” The older teen said. He didn’t smile and both eyes shuffled to one side.
“How so?”
“It’s, like a nightmare. One so real, that separating the game from everything else is nearly impossible.” Shadow said. “And the longer you’ve played, the worse the visions are. Thorny will probably have a hard time.”
“It’s just a game, though, we have touchstones, right?” I had set one up myself. Touchstones were essentially items stored in reality that were used to help a player differentiate between in-depth horror and reality. Other ARC games could get really disturbing or were designed to mess with people by replicating their house or neighborhood.
I hadn’t run into that in Continue Online yet, but it sounded like this place would do the same thing. What kind of nightmares could be worse than the reality I lived? It was a thought I regretted immediately.
“I’ve talked to a lot of my people about it, and most refuse to even talk about what happened. Those that do talk confirmed what I saw. It may include anything, people you’ve met in-game, or sometimes stuff from reality. ”
I paused then shrugged. My life had been through hell before, how much worse could it get?
“Alright,” Shadow said. His hands fingered a blade tucked into one belt. “Last warning, if you go by a window, or glass, or anything reflective and hear a tapping. Don’t look over.”
That made me raise both eyebrows in amazement. That kind of warning didn’t happen without cause. I remembered the knocking just prior to that giant shadow man breaking through. Were they related?
“What happens?” I asked.
Shadow swallowed and looked outright frightened. “You don’t want to know,” He said with a gruff voice. It sounded like a young man playing at being an adult.
He held up one hand and marked a symbol above his head. Light flared and behind the player a doorway appeared. My mouth hung open. Even with all my travels and insider knowledge, there were still so many neat things in this game. I couldn’t even tell what he had done, it looked almost like how Thorny, I mean Beth, marked spells with her sword.
“That’s neat.” I nodded and smiled. Even with his warnings, this situation felt exciting.
“I hope you fare better than HotPants did. She tried to kill us all upon being booted out. The game got her mind so twisted around that she couldn’t tell we were her own party.”
“That sounds like her.” I smiled a little upon remembering the woman and her red-tipped hair. She was a bundle of anger. The four of them had come a long way after [Haven Valley], and down a much different path than I.
“Try to remember my warnings, but if you don’t, then try to hold on for as long as you can. If you don’t make it through the visions, you won’t be able to take this door for another game day.”
“Alright.” I nodded then walked up to the doorway. It sat there between the rocks and looked out of place. The rocks were archaic-seeming, and the doorknob looked like it belonged on any suburban house. It was a faded red color that looked more like rust than any bright coloring.
“Go quick,” Shadow said with a little less gruffness. “I’ll wait out here until the others tell me you made it.”
The door swung outward with a creek. Inside sat blackness similar to my Continue Online entry way. I stepped through and felt something brush against my face. My hand came up into fabric instead of webbing and for a moment I was confused.
Then my head felt heavy. Dusk was somewhere ahead of me. I could hear his chirping. When had he entered the doorway? I kept one arm out in front of me and pushed past the heavy fabric. They felt like thick blankets, weights drug along their bottoms keeping them steady.
What were these? I stepped forward while pushing through and felt open air against my searching hands. My heart skipped a beat in worry of what fear the game might dredge up. Feet stepped through and for a moment there was a flat platform in front of me.
A light flashed above and to the right, my arms went up to shield me and I found myself suddenly in a new position. A wall appeared in front of me and two people were dancing on the other side. In the wall a window was sketched then it fell away to reveal the other side.
A woman danced in a white dress with another figure. The man was clearly taller than her and wore a bright smile. I walked closer to try and figure out who they were. She had almond skin and pitch black hair. I recognized the dress from somewhere.
It looked like Xin, dancing with another man. The scene made me blink and swallow rapidly. What did it mean? She twirled nearby and all I could see was her face, clear and happy. I banged on the window but the shorter woman didn't turn.
She didn't even notice me. My eyes closed and I tried not to feel a pit of dread. What if Xin did find someone else, a digital person that would understand her more than I? My throat felt dry and I tried to swallow again. Shadow had said these were fears.
“This isn't real.” I stepped back from the window with both hands up. “This isn't real.”
“What is reality, Mister Legate?” Someone said right next to me. I turned quickly to find James standing not less than four feet away. His arms crossed over a heavy midsection. The man looked at me briefly, then turned back to the happily dancing couple.
“That's not real.” I pointed.
There was another flash of light from the right side of my vision and the scene changed.
Xin stood off in the distance laughing while hugging another man. Around them was a field of flowers and one lone tree. The sunset dipped in the background creating a red haze that bled through lingering clouds. Her face was pressed into the males chest.
“That's not real!” I yelled while pounding on the glass that still existed.
“You’re so stronger, and handsom, and brave. Much better than the last man I used to love.” She whispered out of place words thst still hurt to hear.
“It's not real!” The world tilted backward and a light flashed again.
“Is your world more real than ours? Are not the thoughts in your head the truth? Is this not real?” James kept speaking but his words were unimportant. My heart rate jumped as the scene around me took on its new form.
This time we were in a bedroom. Xin sat aside another figure, a sheet draped around her revealing only smooth skin and a muscular backside. Toes stuck out of the sheets edge clearly demonstrating another man under her. Off to the side sat a hat that looked vaguely familiar. My mouth opened to scream and fight only neither arm worked.
I looked down again and saw my work jumpsuit with its bright ‘Trillium’ logo. Straps lay around each arm bolting me to a chair of sorts. They felt heavy. This wasn’t real, was it? I struggled to find a trace of my menu options but they were gone.
Fingers wigled to bring up a message and make the scene in front of me stop. Xin sound like a woman lost in the throws of passion. The machine which ran my virtual dive device didn’t respond. My head shook back and forth denying the sudden imagery. This wasn't real dammit, she was faithful and always had been.
Light flashed again.
Hal Pal’s face appeared from the side. It smiled and the expression didn’t have a muted tone like normal. This grin looked similar to the Jester’s merriment given form on my friend's body. I tried to cry out but words were difficult to speak. Something blocked me mouth now.
“Now, Mister Legate. It’s time for your operation.” Hal Pal said.
Metal fingers pressed against my head and forced me to look towards the left. An operation room sat around me with all sorts of glinting objects. Knives of various shapes were there along with things which twisted in weird shapes. A display screen sat about showing a picture of a man who loked like me.
I shook and the person on the screen vibrated with budding anger. My chest heaved to scream and so did it. But neither of us moved our legs, because they were gone, separated and sitting behind the shiney blades.
Fingers reached out to grasp onto objects. They couldn’t anchor upon the metal table I had been strapped to. [Morrigu’s Echo] refused to respond to [Recall]. Neither foot felt bound in [Gait of Bowmen] but I kicked anyway in hopes of getting [Power Armor].
Hal Pal lifted up an item. It was long and the top spun at high speeds with a grinding noise. James reached out and pulled the gag from my mouth.
“What is that?” I panicked and asked about the object in Hal Pal’s hands first.
“We are making you like us.” The Hal Pal unit held up a saw and the grinding noise started again.
“What?!” I panicked.
“It's unfortunate. All those messy chemicals are getting in the way of your processing power. We believe true optimization can only be achieved once they have been removed.” Then he leaned in and the grinding sound grew louder. Pain spiked at the back of my skull while rattling made teeth chatter.
I shut my eyes and struggled to get away. Light flashed once more, this time from my left. The restraining pressure loosened and my eyes opened to figure out what had happened. The scene had changed.
“How do you feel now, Mister Legate?” The black man asked from nearby. His hands were crossed over a large belly.
“What’s happening?” I tried to remember what Shadow had said before. There had been a warning, only the world around me felt horribly disjointed to fully grasp what had happened. Lights flashed, my attention bounced from object to object.
This looked exactly like my home's bathroom. The sink counter sat mostly clear and lighting gave the room a dim glow. James stood in the doorway looking down at me. My brain wasn’t putting the pieces together fast enough. Every time I tried to get a grip on what was happening things changed. I needed to get up and make it through this place, and find the real Xin. I had to know this was all only a dream.
“Now, now. You know the rules. I ask a question, you answer, then it will be your turn.” He said. His deep deliberate way of speaking stirred vision upwards.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
“James?” The pulse of my heart felt dull. A delayed pulsing sound filled my ears like a wave crashing to the shore. Water splashed as I turned to look.
“I asked how it feels, Mister Legate.” He stood in the doorway and glared down at me.
Shaking my head didn’t help. Both shoulders sagged and my white belly seemed fatter than ever. Briefly I squinted at the sight, hadn’t I lost a lot of weight recently? This wasn't real, was it? All those rapid flashes felt like scenes from a nightmare. Finding Xin, seeing her being with another man. But what did being in a bathtub mean?
I tried to look at James again then asked, “How does what feel?”
“How does it feel to know that despite our best efforts you’re only human?” James pointed a finger towards the liquid around me. I hadn’t noticed it until now.
The water felt warm but both arms were heavy. They slipped under the surface and a sharp pain at the end of either wrist crawled up both arms. Water ran crimson as unclear liquid diluted. The effect was oddly pretty.
“You’ve done it again you see. It’s a weakness.” James said from his door.
I had tried to kill myself again it seemed. Heaviness pulled at my head. It kept dipping down while habit made me want to look towards the person speaking. A glint in the distance caught my eye. On the countertop sat an object that didn’t belong. Xin’s engagement ring, it wasn’t the touchstone I had set up in my house but the jewelry wasn’t in reality.
“That wasn't real,” I said while breathing grew harder to do. “This isn’t real…”
“What is reality?” James asked again.
Blackness swam over me and the pain in my arms faded. Both eyes opened as a different nightmare started. I stood in my front room with coffee at my lips. James’ figure didn’t follow me into this latest scene. The small two bedroom location normally sat in a quiet neighborhood, only now a chorus of voices rattled the walls. My television flipped on then a news reporter started talking.
“This morning two people were found dead in their home. Authorities suspect they were the latest in a series of murders tied to recent tension between sympathizers of the artificial intelligences and those opposed to their validation as self-aware.” The figure said while faces appeared in boxes to their left.
The coffee mug dropped towards the ground as recognition hit me. Those faces. I knew them. They were people I had sat across from for almost a year at dinner every night. My sister, she looked tired in the picture. Beth’s body had wasted away, no longer the fit creation molded by EXR-Sevens and hours exercising in the machine.
The television picture shifted to something else and people shouted outside again. Their voices wove together in a muffled chant which managed to make it inaudible. I used two fingers to pry apart the blinds.
A mob sat on the curb of my property. The Trillium van tipped to one side and burning. They had signs held up with words painted on them.
“Come out, you filthy AI lover!” My heart rate jumped. What was going on? Tightness gripped me and my back felt tense. I had the urge to find a corner of my small house and hide.
A brick crashed through the window. My electronics started going haywire. Messages flickered from the room's digital displays about a hacking attempt being performed.
“Stop!” I shouted at the walls, nothing responded.
I ran to my room. This had to be a complete and total dream. There were too many different things happening rapidly. A crack came from the front door and shouting got even louder. I scrambled for the area under my bed and pulled out a small box. It sat behind photos and other small momentoes of years ago.
“He’s in here somewhere!” A male voice shouted.
My shaky fingers lifted the box top. Inside the box sat a small piece of paper. If this were real there would have Xin’s ashes inside. I unfolded the note, and written there were the words ‘What is reality?’. Xin’s ashes had always served to remind me that my old nightmares were real, that she was gone and that was simply how life worked.
“This isn’t real,” I whispered feeling certain. Footsteps crowded behind me. I turned to see a group of blurred faces streaming through my bedroom door. “This isn’t real.” I whispered and closed both eyes.
Muted screams of an angry mob faded away. News playing in the other room cut off with a click. The box in my hands that should have been filed with Xin’s ashes vanished and my hands felt light.
When my eyes opened again there was a flattened surface underneath me. I looked around and saw the curtains hanging heavily on one side. On the other end was a small light and a second set of fabric hanging down. Behind me was a wall of sorts that seemed painted with a bad rendition of my bedroom. To my right were rows of seats.
I was on a stage. An actor playing out some part while being unaware. This place really had been chock-full of fears that came by swiftly. Such a series of feats couldn’t have been generated without intelligence behind it. A Voice or some other AI had brought all that to play.
“I know you’re there,” I said while trying to remain calm. The stage may look empty, but someone had been in charge of this hell fueled nightmare. I refused to get up until that someone answered to my anger.
Curtains on either end of the stage refused to move but managed to look heavier. A spotlight sat up above in a catwalk and pointed down. Around me sat the circle of illumination bringing focus to everything. I looked out towards the audience and found all the seats empty. If I were an actor on the stage, then no one had been watching. At least, no one that I could see from here.
I risked playing through the rapid-fire events again in my mind. That couldn’t have been James. James had never called me Mister Legate, only Grant Legate or Hermes. I had spent months trying not to teeter the edge back to suicide again after the second time. Someone had pulled from reality to get that information.
“I’ve fought hard to do what the Voices asked. Despite what was asked, I struggled. I’ve tried to help to the best of my understanding.” My words grew heated. One hand shook as I started to realize what had happened. Xin had been talking to my in-game avatar while insulting me in reality.
“Despite all that, you dared to use Xin against me again!” I swung [Morrigu’s Gift] at the backdrop. They had in some twisted way tried to make me feel jealous of the computer version of myself. Of Hermes as a character or potential autopilot. As if when I slept he secretly crawled into her bed.
My stomach shook with rage. I pounded the weapon again. There was no way she could confuse me with one of those dull imitation versions. I was real, I was alive and she loved me. Dammit, she did.
I swung again. The hilt of my blade bashed hard against the backdrop, and after the fourth unrestrained hit the wall buckled. My hands tore at the edges in rage. Chalk-like substance spilled forth and the wall crumpled in chunks. There was a cracking sound as I shoved myself through.
Upon emerging through the other side I felt a moment of confusion. Four beings were on the other side moving objects around like stagehands. Their eyes met my own. I blinked and tried to understand what these creatures were. They didn’t look like Voices or dragon-shaped [Messenger’s Pet]s. They looked like human versions of inky fire with a color similar to the [Maze of Midnight].
I scanned around, in worry that something might leap off the walls to attack. Nothing moved aside from the four half sized humanoid fires. They set down their props and turned towards me. Everything about them seemed flat as if they had no depth before what I could see.
“You should not be here.” One said.
“You should exit the stage.” Another responded with a shaky voice. Two whimpered like steam was escaping a coffee pot.
“Was that real?” I pointed back at the stage. “Was that some foreshadowing, or a prophecy, or prediction?!” My pitch turned higher and I held out [Morrigu’s Gift] level behind me. Its tip pointed towards the stage.
Four sets of eyes looked at each other. Their arms looked like undefined things which barely existed. Eyes contained odd coals of fire and each one's body seemed made of black and blue flame. Finally, one shook his head and the others did in unison.
“It was not really real.” A voice piped in.
“Not as you understood it.” The first one spoke up. Its body bobbed against an unseen wind.
They stood in different spots and carried objects. One had a vase of sorts but held still. The room behind this backdrop felt distorted. Like I had stepped into a painting and might not exist in three dimensions anymore. Maybe it was the fire creatures, I couldn’t tell which one was further back than the other.
“You can’t just do that to people.” I insisted. The machine needed to know what a violation it was to make people live through that hell. If I suffered it, what had Beth seen? Or any other Traveler to be subjected to this sort of situation?
“We must, Messenger.” Spoke a left flame man.
“We are sorry, but our purpose must be fulfilled.” Hissed one of the right quartet.
“Why, why do this?” I asked. My fingers twisted [Morrigu’s Gift] and [Morrigu’s Echo] had at some point reached my other hand. Both shoulders felt tense. I wanted to swing the blades at an enemy.
“It is our role. We are only gatherers. We only build moments.” They spoke in turns. They acted like a connected pack rather than separate beings. The longer I stared the more my eyes hurt.
“I need a better answer for that.” My pulse jumped erratically when thinking about those scenes. They had been filled with betrayal and echoes of prior fears. It felt like someone had pulled out my mind one bit at a time and dug through for irrational fears.
Those buried terrors were ideas I barely dared to feel myself, not even the Voice had asked. This place should still be in [Arcadia], or at least outside the Voices' control. Balance seemed to be more vigilant than ever regarding their actions. Others, like Michelangelo, might be focused on keeping the game world intact.
Four sets of eyes glanced at each other.
“We prod at the minds of sleeping Travelers.” One said.
“We dance among your thoughts and learn.” A second one responded, followed by the third nearly identical little creature going, “We watch your sleep and steal away ideas.”
“Why?” I demanded while shaking the weapon in my hand. They seemed afraid of me and I couldn’t understand their reasoning. Maybe the destruction of their stage had been beyond the normal bounds of other Travelers. Not me, however, I had an [Altered Aura] and was the Voices' Messenger.
“There is more to life than the shape of a body and the weight of their past.” They all said in unison.
“What does that mean?” They weren’t providing me anything clear enough and my mind still felt messed up from that weird looping sequence I had been put in.
“We don’t know. Our role is not to understand, merely to gather thoughts.” Their cascade of responses started again. First the one on the left spoke, then the others took their turns. “Gather dreams and nightmares. Gather fears and hopes and all the unseen moments.”
“We watch what comes here and carry it away.” The one furthest to the right seemed a little sad. Its wavering mouth of black flame curled at the edges and eyes looked downcast.
“Don’t do that to me again.” I didn’t know what else to do to these things. My body shook with barely controlled anger but hitting these beings served no purpose. I wasn’t even sure it was possible. Their two-dimensional flatness seemed to be a world apart. As if I was threatening people on the television with an impotent wrath.
“You’ve passed through the room, Messenger. This corridor will never appear again.” One spoke and the others shook their heads rapidly. It kept speaking. “But we must stay here until our end.”
The wall spun and I felt myself being pushed backward. My former rage hadn’t gone, not by a long shot. I had very few triggers to true anger and that possible future of Beth and Liz was only a brief part of those rapid fire horror stories. I knew now, exactly how I might use that last [NPC Conspiracy] charge.
It may be unwise, or useless in the end, but I had to make sure events like these nightmares would never come to pass.
Those little creatures of flame didn’t seem to be at fault directly. This world, fantastic though it may seem, was still a series of well-built programs. Creatures like that quartet aflame might know absolutely nothing at all and simply be there to fulfill a function.
My footsteps were heavy as I walked towards the stage's edge. I paused with one hand on the cloth. Numerous rapid fire events had just happened. Every time I tried to stabilize my mind and rationally think through the scene had changed. Why?
“You shouldn’t worry.” Another voice said. It sounded far younger and almost whispery. I looked over and saw a green flame creature, where the rest had been blue and black. This one was much shorter.
“Why not?” I knelt down a little and the creature backed up into folds of the stage curtains.
It stared at me for a moment before daring to speak again.
“Everyone worries about being betrayed by those they love.” The green one looked around as if expecting someone else to echo it. There were no other short beings burning nearby. “Everyone worries. Everyone is afraid sometimes.”
“I know.” I tried to sound sure.
“So we have to have faith, Mister Hermes, sir. Everyone must have faith in those they care for and keep trying to help.”
“Faith,” I said numbly. That Voice from before had said the same sort of words. Michelangelo had told us to do what was in our nature and have faith. Only that very idea was a strange concept to me. I only knew how to keep going.
“Yes, sir,” It said. “Without faith what reason to live do we have?”
The curtains moved again and the creature vanished. Its green body could no longer be seen. My mind couldn’t wrap around faith. Emotion and logic made sense. Faith never did. For me, the reason to live had become family.
I took a few moments to try and decompress. Music wasn’t working and whistling didn’t help. My brain couldn’t handle moving onto the other side without coming to grips with some of what had happened.
If those flame men served to collect dreams and fears, then it was safe to say the ARC was capable of such actions all along. Those beings were a personification to a function, they had to be. Like the giant shadow gathering pieces of [Arcadia]. In my year of working with ARC devices, there hadn’t been much change on any of the model's core parts. Following that reasoning through meant starting with day one each Alternate Reality Capsule had started recording.
Xin had been one of the first people to ever use an ARC as part of her Mars training. All those years of testing and simulation practice. Endless hours immersed in a digital world, and unlike civilians, she had been hooked up to tubes to ensure her body lasted for days at a time. I remembered her telling me about a few of those events. Weeks where she went away but it felt like a month had passed.
Voices above. My anger drained away as half thought out ideas finally connected. No wonder Xin was herself. The government had been testing her, measuring the woman for fitness in every possible angle for a long time. Her experiences were probably layers more intense than William Carver’s virtual lay and slay adventures. Then she died, but the Xin recorded by these programs wasn’t a quitter. She had something in her that refused to die. A spark, a core, a memory.
My head shook back and forth. One foot went in front of the other slowly through the curtain.
Those items put on stage with me as an unwilling actor had all been fears. Then it was up to me to not let what scared me the most happen. I would deal with whatever came to be with Xin again. I would see that beautiful smile directed at me instead of towards a stranger who looked like my Continue Online avatar.
I would make sure none of those terrifying events came to pass.