What was the point of it all?

That question had been running through my mind a lot at the time. Just like it did right then and there. As I took a long fall, my life flashing by. I was a soon-to-be thirty-year-old in prison, serving away at a life sentence. Up to then, my life had amounted to... no good. I was a conman, thief, and apparently, a conspirator.

Before I went down the path of unspeakable crime, I’d been just another average guy in his late teens, wasting away his youth with no clear destination ahead of him. Most of my day I would spend on the computer, playing games. A lifestyle that I couldn’t financially uphold as I got older. My education wasn’t all that great, so a well-paying job was out of the question. That didn’t really matter though, since I was uninterested in looking for one anyway. To be honest, I didn’t want to do any form of extensive work to earn my living. I wasn’t lazy but I had a strong tendency for shortcuts in life. And I had a huge problem with authority.

So, I resorted to scamming people online to make my living. Well, in games. I wasn’t that big of a professional just yet. There was good, easy money to be made and I knew my way around some games that I’d spent a decent chunk of my life on.

Back when I was still a kid, my parents sent me to foster care as the task of raising me became too much of a “burden” for them. Truth be told, I was an incredibly annoying and loud child. I had to look out for myself from a very young age and ended up transferring from one foster home to another at regular intervals. Home, to me, wasn’t really a concept I could grasp.

School life as well, was kind of rough as I had a hard time making friends. I preferred to keep to myself. The few friends I had made ended up using me in one way or another. At least that’s what they told me years later. In retrospect, I wasn’t a good friend to any of them either. Insecure as I was, I frequently told lies about all sorts of things to push my value.

In my mind, Lady Destiny had thrown all possible sorts of rocks on my path to hinder me from getting anywhere. Life was passing fast, and I had achieved practically nothing by the time I’d turned twenty. At some point, I began thinking to myself:

Screw it. Screw everybody.

And soon enough I started running my ethically questionable online schemes.

Eventually, I got addicted to the thrill of it. Back then I didn’t understand why, but deep down I had always felt the urge to up the ante when it came to my “craft”. Minor trade frauds quickly turned into account theft, and simple phishing into fake charities. At some point I was running one of the most elaborate crowdfunding scams in the history of the internet!

I’d found a purpose. Or so I’d have liked to believe.

I got involved with some truly shady people one day. Some of them were burglars, some of them kidnappers, drug dealers, et cetera. A group of dubious individuals had assembled itself around me and wanted me in it! Me! Hard to believe I know! Apparently, I had garnered quite a reputation online. The wealth I amassed through my gaming schemes was decent enough, but I didn’t care about the money anymore. I needed that rush of adrenaline.

Dealing with people in front of you, rather than behind a screen, sounded much more exciting. Although the damage done to them would be all the same. At first, I struggled with tricking people out of their money through conversation alone, since I lacked the confidence and charisma. My creativity, however, knew no end. I was willing to do whatever it took to get that thrill. And so, I did.

Longing for that kick, I'd tag along right away when it came to smuggling, fraud or counterfeiting. Sometimes I even joined in on things that brought in no money at all, like vandalism and random riots. In hindsight, these people were involved in some serious conspiracies. Ignorant as I was, I went along with all of them.

Later, I specialized in impersonation. The one thing that could get me excited like nothing else was pretending to be someone I was not, entering places I wasn’t supposed to. Not an easy task, all things considered, but I got quite good at it eventually. Sometimes there wasn’t even any money involved. I’d simply impersonate people with varying degrees of authorization to see if I could get into certain places and leave again unscathed. Most of the time that would be the case, although I did have some close brushes with the law enforcement here and there.

But as they do, all good things eventually come to an end and oh boy did they end for me with a bang! One particular day, about 8 years ago, my group and I went on another undertaking. Part of the plan was for me to impersonate a government official to get them access to a ministry building. High risk – high reward stuff, but of course nothing out of the ordinary for me. Although this time my folks hadn’t done their research properly. Or so they said. Things went fine at first. I had my character down to a T. It all came crumbling down, however, once I realized I’d been sent to the wrong place. The rest you can probably piece together by yourself.

I was arrested. My fate had been sealed. And soon enough I realized what had happened. My own people had sold me out to save their own hides. I think making a deal is what you call it. What for? Hell, did I know. You could never please everyone, so at some point or another I’d probably pissed off the wrong people. Once again, folks somewhat close to me had betrayed my trust. Because of course they would.

Karma was coming down on me, and it was coming with full force.

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I was brought in before the court, the proof of my past crimes clear as day. They charged and convicted me with multiple counts of forgery, fraud and criminal impersonation. Oh, and high treason! Almost forgot that one. Although they couldn't make the charges for some of my less recent crimes stick. Lucky me!

The sentence? Lifelong.

Which is how I'd arrived in this hellhole of a prison. Well, not exactly. I had transferred prisons a couple of times by then. Most of them had been utterly abhorrent. There were only a few in which I didn’t get my ass kicked on the daily. My big mouth made sure of that. An escape attempt existed on my record as well. As expected, it went just bloody fantastic.

In the end, I had sort of stopped being a nuisance. The prison I stayed at last was quite cozy after all. The food didn’t taste half bad and the guards were somewhat nice. As nice as prison guards could be anyway. But above all, I had started to grow old.

I wasn’t as nimble and quick-witted as back before I had been taken into custody. Moreover, I would spend most of my time in my cell, thinking back and regretting some paths I had taken in life.

“Oh god.”, I’d pray. “Or gods, any gods, anyone, please give me another go at it! Get me out of this hole, I swear I’ll be a decent person this time around, yeah?” I wasn’t religious at all, but it couldn't hurt trying, right? Truth be told, it was pathetic. And pointless. I got what I deserved and that was it. This was where I would spend the rest of my days.

And then one fateful day, as I was just about to finish my traditional prayer, I was suddenly interrupted by people shouting outside my cell. Their voices seemed to come from the upper floors, yet they were getting louder and louder every second. Even I could hear them by now. “Another riot?” I mumbled to myself. Prison riots were a common occurrence here since there wasn’t much to do for the inmates and always plenty of things to complain about. They’d end as quickly as they’d spring up with nothing to worry about and no change taking place. Patient as they were, the guards would handle things in an upmost efficient manner. The inmates, however, often abused said patience until sparks eventually started flying. Usually, I would try my best to stay out of trouble like that, but this commotion was interrupting my daily session of self-loathing.

I stood up from my bed and headed outside my cell, following the noise up the stairs. Where I was greeted by the source of all the ruckus. A mass of people had gathered in front of the warden’s office on the uppermost floor. From what I could tell, the guards were struggling to keep this one under control. They formed a chain to block the inmates from getting any closer to the office’s door, but what originally started out as a mere standoff slowly evolved into a chaotic grapple.

Then, a taser shot off. I couldn’t see where or who it came from but right after the shot had hit its target, all hell started to break loose. Arms were swinging, legs were flying, and the first few dropped to the floor. Both prisoners and guards were amongst the casualties. Ultimately, the prisoners began fighting amongst themselves. This was serious business.

There was a female guard I spotted, surrounded by three inmates ready to pounce. She looked like she could use some help; at the same time, I didn’t know how I’d be of any. Although she’d definitely owe me one if I did decide to help her. Sounds good to me. Before I could finish weighing out the pros and cons, my feet were already carrying me in her direction. Piercing through the aimless waves of fists and elbows swinging past me, I merged with the crowd. What I saw around me almost resembled a medieval battlefield, with men brawling men on top of the bodies of their comrades.

I had almost made it, when out of nowhere I took a knee to the side of my hip. I stumbled back full force, slowly recovering. This isn’t... going to stop me now... I thought, but God damn does it hurt! On the brink of tears as I continued onwards through the slog.

Finally, my three targets were in reach. They turned around as I approached them, causing my spontaneous resolve to waver in an instant. What the hell was I doing? When did I become a selfless vigilante? I didn’t even know this chick, nor did I owe her anything! This wasn’t worth the hassle. “Hey, let’s all relax for a sec- “, I tried to reason with them, but was cut short when one of them, a bald fella, rushed towards me. I braced myself for the inevitable impact. His body crashed into mine and both of us went down to the ground. A sharp sting shot through my stomach. Did the bastard just flick me one? My movements were slow and clumsy but somehow, I managed to bury my elbow into the side of his hairless head.

Was that enough?

No movement.

Victory is mine!

Or so I thought, towering over my seemingly unconscious opponent in triumph. I had forgotten that there were two more angry inmates waiting to share their physical love with me.

As they approached me, I started to feel a warm liquid running down my hip. A darting pain came over me. It felt as though someone was continuously poking my legs with needles a thousand times over. Breathing became a real chore as each breath I tried to take in got shorter and shorter. I looked down towards my feet and spotted the handle of some type of makeshift knife sticking out of my stomach.

This was bad. I had been careless.

My energy was fading at a rapid pace, as my legs gave up on me. I crumbled to the ground before I was picked up again by my fellow, now grinning inmate. He shoved me against the platform railing with full force, squeezing out the last bit of air I had left in my lungs. In the corner of my eye, I saw the guard pull the trigger on her taser. The shot connected and released me of the inmate’s grip.

Well, thanks a lot, I guess.

I was falling.

Not long enough to realize what was happening, but long enough to feel a sudden rush of wind roaring into my ears. Almost like the static from blowing into a microphone. The air was once again forced from my lungs as I landed. All the pain vanished. I couldn’t speak or move anymore, but I wasn’t dead. My legs must have taken the brunt of the landing.

Somehow, I had survived this massacre.

Except it wasn’t over yet.

The other inmate, still stunned, came falling onto me, crushing me like a bug.

And then I was dead.

...what... was the point of it all?