After seeing my mother screaming and crying to pain, when I just was ten years old…I felt like my simple life had shattered…Shattered to point that I had no idea on where to start to pick myself back up again…
“Your mother just had to let the secret out! I told her not too…So, this is what she deserves!”
“What…What secret?” What kind of secret would make my mother have to go through so much pain? Can…Can they stop now? You’re hurting her!
I had been crying my eyes out, forced to watch what was happening to my own mother…My eyes were red, my snot was falling from my face and the rope around my wrists had made me start to bleed…But, all I could think of, is why can’t they stop, I needed her! I want my mother! Please don’t hurt her anymore!
“Stupid child!”
I was then splashed with boiling hot water, just like my mother had been. I cringed and jerked to the pain, but then I heard a chuckle.
“Yes, little one, this will be a day that you’ll never forget! You must never speak of what you shouldn’t!”
I knew of this woman, the wife of the Lord and whom I’m supposed to call Lady Billings, yet, I had never seen her be this cruel before! It was a whole new side to her that sprung up out of nowhere!
...It was only a day before...That my mother was fine, my mother wasn't hurting at all like she is now!
I was so scared that I nodded, knowing what I must learn from this and hoped that they would let her go…Please! I’ll do anything! Please let my mother go!
I will never speak of what I shouldn’t…I will never speak! Please, please, let her go!
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Instead of letting my mother go, they came towards me…
Then…I screamed as I was held down and the boiling water went over one side of my face.
The pain was the biggest I had ever felt! The beatings I had received prior to this were nothing, as the hot water felt like it was burning my flesh right off my face!
I wanted to move away, I wanted to push at the person holding me...I wanted to understand!
Sadly though, all I could do, was scream until something was shoved into my mouth and then feel all the hot water upon my skin, burning it away…I was...Completely hopeless. Completely useless...
I had lost consciousness, but this pain lingered for quite some time…The pain of not only what the burning hot water had done to me, but the lifeless body of my mother that was still out of my reach, was too much for me…So much, that I wished I had been killed instead. Or that I could follow my mother, the only person that meant anything to me.
It was like I woke up in one regard but tried to sleep in another.
I woke up to cruelty of the world, never able to forget this painful night and…I tried to put my own wants to sleep…Not that I had many to begin with, but now, I was just trying to survive. Survive this hellish world that I was now trapped in, because Lady Billings had taken all of my mother’s possessions…
On that night, I obtained a scar on my face.
On that night, I saw that speaking seemed to pose a problem.
On that night, more than anything, I obtained an unforgettable memory of my mother being horrendously tortured in front of me…Whipped, hot water poured onto her, poked with needles and impaled with a sharp wooden spike.
Her naked, burnt body was nailed to big, wooden boards and her blood was running from everywhere, leaving this image in my mind, which was something I was unable to ever forget about…And, even though the place was scary and dark, it had been nothing to what I had seen. The sight of my mother's blood and how she laid there afterwards was scarier than the abandoned place we had been in. The smell, the cries...The blood. I still remember it all so vividly...
But, from this start, where I was hopeless and weak…This image, and the life ahead of me, was long but a start of a much stronger me, someone no longer with nothing and with no one.
From such a hopeless beginning, I would have never thought that I was able to gain anything, in fact…I think I was waiting to die from that night onwards…But…Things changed!