It’s not long before the two of us are gobbling down some kind of potato soup adjacent. And, for as much as this world’s food has sucked so far, I have to admit… the woman knows how to cook. Still not as good as how the locals themselves taste though.

A hand grasps my shoulder, startling me out of my enjoyment. I frown, turning to face whoever's touching me, but find my frown quickly evaporating.

The invasive hand belongs to an extremely tall, tanned woman. She’s easily six and a half feet tall, and is well toned. Her muscular but still feminine frame is covered in leather armor, with a stereotypical adventuring outfit beneath it. On her hip hangs a well worn saber.

“Gladdy’s food is amazing, isn’t it?” She asks, her perfect smile almost blinding. For the first time since waking up in this new world, my heart flutters in my chest.

“Y-yeah, it’s… it’s good.” I stutter, making Betton drop his spoon in shock. Ignoring the waste of space, I try to commit the face of the beautiful woman to memory. Halfway through my intense study, I notice that her ears stick out on each side of her head, and are clearly pointed.

She leans down closer to me, much too close for my heart, and whispers in my ear. “I’m glad you like the food, cute thing.” My heart stops as the woman steps back, shooting me another grin. “See you around, short stuff.” As my brain tries desperately to reboot, the tall woman climbs the stairs to the second floor, having to duck to not hit her head.

“...Oh.” I say, extremely belatedly. Ignoring the flaming blush on my face, I turn back towards the bar. She was… something…

I look over at Betton, and instead of mocking me for my weakness, he’s instead just staring at me, mouth agape. He looks as shocked as I am embarrassed. That’s understandable, I guess…

“What?!” He squeaks quietly. His tone is desperate, like a believer who has found proof their god isn’t real.

I leave him to his breakdown, going to scoop more potato-thing, but find my wooden bowl empty. I scowl at the dish like it killed my dad. Fine, if I can’t eat, I’ll do the next best thing…

Drink!

────────────

I slam the door to my room, making the flimsy wood rattle in its frame.

Damn that woman! Who does she think she is, not letting me drink? So what if I look young right now, I’m actually twenty… something. I can’t remember.

Whatever. I sit on the uncomfortable bed with a heavy thud. She wins this time, but next time? I’ll have my booze. Laugh while you can, Gladdy!

…Fuck.

I grab my head, and clench it with my hands. I… I miss her. It’s been a while now since I saw her last. Even before I came to this world, it had been… about a month. Hopefully she remembers me. I hope she came here too, the Admin did mention Otherworlders besides me.

I slap myself, hard. Too hard. My head pops, splattering the walls of the room in nauseatingly vivid pink. Oops. Now it looks like a censored murder scene.

As my head bubbles up from my neck, I realize that I’m really bored. Betton stayed downstairs, so he could eat more, so I can’t tease him. No booze, so drinkings out. No phone to fiddle on… Or is there!

My menus flicker to life in front of me, displaying their gracefully distracting words. It’s been a while, video game mechanics, but I have returned! First, to check my balance.

300mp/300mp

Maxed out, unfortunate that the cap is still so low. Especially when I’m fighting monsters so much tougher than I am. I should really spend my points faster… but that’s annoying.

Whatever, I have nothing to do right now, so it’s the best I got. I should really get some new abilities. What about… magic!

Yeah, that’s a great idea! I’ve wanted to do magic since I’ve gotten here. Maybe I can do error magic. …But what would that even be? Would I ruin people’s minds, or corrupt them? Both those things seem like they fall under mind magic…

The mind menu opens up before me, showing me the massive list of things I can add to my brain. There’s no noticeable sorting system, so I just start reading the list for something interesting.

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

Time ticks by as I scroll, reading the descriptions for interesting items. It takes about an hour before I find something truly eye-catching.

Space Magic!

How cool would that be? Make a little wormhole, poke my tentacle through, stab a guy in the back without moving!

Wait… Don’t I have that organ… that blocks spacial magic?

Fuck.

Whatever, I’ll just keep looking.

Angrily, I scroll through the list again. I’m so pissed that I screwed myself out of teleporting around… I would’ve been killed if I hadn’t though. Probably repeatedly.

Time magic? Did I read that right?! I stop flicking through the list, and scroll back up. Clicking on the words, I open up the description.

Time Magic Affinity: Add the ability to manipulate time mana to yourself.

Well that’s not… super descriptive. But it’s worth the risk! Buy it!

ERR: Insufficient mp to purchase Time Magic Affinity. Needed 30000mp. Have 300mp

Thirty… thirty thousand?! What kind of rip off scam is this? …I mean it is time magic. I could probably buy it, and go back in time to before I did to get the points back. This also explains why every monster isn’t running around aging things to death.

I’m having shit luck with this. Maybe magic just isn’t my wheelhou— Who am I kidding? It’s magic! If it’s not in my wheelhouse, I’ll burn the damn thing down, and build a new one that has it!

With renewed enthusiasm, I flick through the list a third time.

Fire, boring.

Earth, bland.

Water, I can just spit.

Air, I can just breathe real hard.

Why are all these magics so boring? I want more fun ones, like time and space. …What is as cool as time and space though. Death? Maybe? But time kinda is death though. This is harder than I thought.

A sudden box appears in the air in front of me, with a small ping sound.

Hey there little problem child. I decided, in my infinite grace, to give you a little toy to make up for my system failing on you. Just don’t develop any gambling habits. Have fun! <3 Admin.

…What?

Gatcha Upgrade System added.

Oh… this will be fun.

────────────

A new menu is available at the top of my window, right next to the Soul tab. The ‘Gatcha Upgrade’ tab. Of course I click on it like an addict needing a fix, and feel my heart soar when a brightly colored screen appears.

Inside the rectangle is a rainbow colored gumball machine. Except where a coin would go in, there’s a keypad. Floating underneath the vibrant gadget are the words ‘Insert MP here!’.

So it takes MP, but why would I not just put in one point every time, if it’s variable? Without anything to lose, I tap the one key.

A new window opens, floating over the older one.

The more MP you put in, the better your odds for a higher tier ability! Each numerical space your amount has removes the lowest quality group from your pull!

So… If I add one, it only removes the shittiest abilities? And if I add one hundred, it would remove the bottom three rungs of abilities. I guess that makes sense, and incentivizes spending more…

This seems like a scam. But it is gambling, so who cares!

I tap in two zeros, bringing my amount up to one hundred, before hitting enter. The number vanishes, and the imaginary gumball machine starts to rattle, the small orbs inside rattling around. After a few seconds, the number pad lifts up like a flap and spits out a small plastic egg. This Admin guy has to have been to Earth.

The egg cracks open, revealing a small orb of light that floats up before exploding into a small firework.

You have gained Mistake Sensor!

My head spikes in pain for a second. What the hell does that mean? Mistake sensor? …Whatever, let’s do another pull.

BEEP

“Ow!” I squeal. I flop to my side, startled by the sudden noise. What the fuck was that? I pause waiting for it to happen again.

…

Nothing. That’s really weird. It sounded like it was inside my brain. It interrupted my gambling too! …Whatever, I’m still gonna gamb—

BEEEEP

“ACK!” I yell.

It happened again! Because I was going to gamble… Fuck.

I mentally tap the MIND menu, opening up the list of abilities. I find and click Mistake Sensor.

Mistake Sensor: Will sound an alarm whenever you are about to make a foolish decision.

Oh fuck that! I make horrible decisions all the time! How will I possibly survive with this terrible sound hammering against my brain? …How do I remove this.

Sitting under the description is a small button, labeled delete. I immediately tap it.

Remove Mistake Sensor? Costs 200mp.

God dammit… Yeah fine, dele—

BEEEEEEEEEEEE—

The horrible noise continues nonstop until I hammer the confirm prompt. A slight pinch in my brain later, and I get sweet relief from the incessant drone.

“Thank god.” I mutter.

That was a total bust. I lost all my points gambling! Who could’ve foreseen such an outcome. Oh well. I close the menus, the bright screen vanishing, and lay down on the bed.

I guess I’ll just sleep for now, and do something fun tomorrow.