(Hours later, the word got out that the president, Rabak, has been murdered. Special Forces from the
White house geared up and prepared to travel to the location where the president was killed.)
Man: Listen up, men. I'm only going to say this once so pay attention.
(Someone in the crowd raised their hand.)
Man: What is it, maggot?
(A woman stood up amongst the crowd of soldiers.)
Woman: Sir. I have a question.
Captain Shoulder: First of all, you will address me as Captain Shoulder. Secondly, why the hell are you
here?
Woman: Well sir...
Captain Shoulder: CAPTAIN SHOULDER, MAGGOT!
((CAPTAIN SHOULDER'S BIO))
{Full Name: D'Wayne Shoulder/ Age: 35/ Nationality: American/ Race: Asian/ Height: 6"2"/ Hair:
Short and black/ Hobby: Shooting/ Favorite Dish: Smoked Ribs/ Hates: Not being called Captain
Shoulder/ Fear: People who does not fear him}
Woman: Captain Shoulder...I signed up for this to protect my country.
(Captain Shoulder began laughing.)
Woman: What's funny, sir?
Captain Shoulder: IT'S CAPTAIN SHOULDER!
Woman: I'm sorry, Captain Shoulder.
Captain Shoulder: And where exactly did you sign up?
Woman: I signed up right outside this building. Private Jimmy had me sign a few papers then told me
to go inside and to follow the others.
Captain Shoulder: What's your name?
Candice: My name is Candice, Captain Shoulder.
((CANDICE'S BIO))
{Full Name: Candice Ginyerd/ Age: 20/ Nationality: American/ Race: African-American/ Height: 5"6"/
Hair: Short and orange/ Hobby: Fighting/ Favorite Dish: Ramen/ Hates: Being annoyed/ Fear:
Cockroaches}
(Captain Shoulder looked towards the crowd of soldiers.)
Captain Shoulder: Who here knows this woman named...Candice?
(There was no response.)
Captain Shoulder: OK then. Let's try this a different way.
(Captain Shoulder pointed at an individual in the crowd of soldiers.)
Captain Shoulder: You, right there! Stand up!
(The man Captain Shoulder pointed at looked around and then looked at Captain Shoulder.)
Soldier 1: You talking to me?
Captain Shoulder: Yes, maggot! Now, stand up!
Soldier 1: Yes, Captain Shoulder.
(He stood up.)
Captain Shoulder: Candice, was it Private Smith who signed you up?
(Candice looked behind herself and saw the soldier standing.)
Candice: No, Captain Shoulder.
(Candice looked at Captain Shoulder.)
Captain Shoulder: Sit down, Smith.
Smith: Yes, Captain Shoulder.
((SMITH'S BIO))
{Full Name: Jose Smith/ Age: 19/ Nationality: American/ Race: Hispanic/ Height: 5"9"/ Hair: Bowl
cut and black/ Hobby: Unknown/ Favorite Dish: Unknown/ Hates: Unknown/ Fear: Unknown}
(Captain Shoulder pointed at another individual in the crowd.)
Captain Shoulder: Cracklepop...stand up!
Cracklepop: Yes, Captain Shoulder.
((CRACKLEPOP'S BIO))
{Full Name: Snap Cracklepop/ Age: 24/ Nationality: American/ Race: Caucasian/ Height: 5"7"/ Hair:
Short and yellow/ Hobby: Unknown/ Favorite Dish: Unknown/ Hates: Unknown/ Fear: Unknown}
(Cracklepop stood up. Candice looked at him and noticed she has seen him before.)
Captain Shoulder: Was it Corporal Cracklepop?
(Candice looked Captain Shoulder.)
Candice: Yes, Captain Shoulder. Corporal Cracklepop is the one who signed me up.
(Cracklepop looked at Candice with frustration.)
Cracklepop: You lying BITCH!
Captain Shoulder: Cracklepop! I “Shoulder” have known.
(One of the soldiers started whispering in another soldier’s ear.)
Soldier 2: I wonder if he realized what he just said.
Soldier 3: I wonder if you have a death wish. If so, keep on talking. If not, look straight and shut the
fuck up.
(The soldier faced forward.)
Cracklepop: No, Captain Shoulder. It wasn't me. I swear.
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(Captain Shoulder removed his pistol from his holster he was wearing around his waist and aimed
it at Cracklepop.)
Captain Shoulder: You displayed an act of treason for what you did, Cracklepop. Any last words?
Cracklepop: But I...
Captain Shoulder: Times up, Crackle...
(Captain Shoulder shot Cracklepop in the head. The bullet went through Cracklepop's skull and out the
back, leaving a hole in the front and back of his skull. The soldiers and Candice watched
as Cracklepop's lifeless body fell to the ground. The crowd gasp and Candice screams
retardedly.)
Captain Shoulder: ...Pop.
Candice: OH MY GOD!
Captain Shoulder: Sorry, soldier. You were a good member to the team. Maybe even the best, but I
do not tolerate liars.
(Candice looked at Captain Shoulder with rage.)
Candice: You didn't have to kill him.
Captain Shoulder: What he did is considered treason and the consequence for that is death. What else
was I supposed to do?
Candice: You could have just kicked him out of the Special Forces.
Captain Shoulder: That may have been a better solution, but oh well. What's done is done.
Candice: WHAT'S DONE IS DONE?!
Charlie's Voice: Are you gay?
Candice: What was that?
(Candice, Captain Shoulder and the soldiers looked around to see where the mysterious voice was
coming from.)
Charlie's Voice: Oops. Wrong scenario. Sorry about that. Carry on with your business.
(Candice, Captain Shoulder, and the soldier were all confused, but they returned to what was at
hand.)
Captain Shoulder: I don't even know why you're here. This is no place for a woman. You are
dismissed.
Candice: What did you say to me, you sexist pig?
Captain Shoulder: You heard me...The Special Forces are for men. Men who are willing to give their
lives for the good of the country. You're just going to get in the way. How about you go and make us
some pancakes or something.
(Captain Shoulder and the soldiers start laughing.)
Candice: OH YEAH?!
(Everyone stopped laughing.)
Candice: I'll show you who the real girl is. Let's go. You and me. One on one. Right now. Unless you're
too scared to get your ass kicked by a girl.
Captain Shoulder: Oh really? PART THE SEAS!
(The soldiers cleared the floor for Candice and Captain Shoulder, leaving behind Cracklepop's lifeless
body. Half of the soldiers gathered on one end of the room while the other half on the other end.)
Captain Shoulder: Private Smith.
Smith: Yes, Captain Shoulder?
Captain Shoulder: Go get Cracklepop's body and then place it beside me.
Smith: Yes, Captain Shoulder.
(Smith ran towards Cracklepop's lifeless body, picked it up and carried it to Captain Shoulder.
Afterwards, he dropped it beside Captain Shoulder.)
Smith: Done sir. I mean…
Captain Shoulder: What did you just call me?
Smith: I'm sorry, Captain Shoulder. I meant to say...
Captain Shoulder: You didn't mean to say anything because you're already dead.
Smith: Nani?!
(Captain Shoulder quickly ran behind Smith, grabbed his head with both hands,
snapped neck and turned to face Candice in one sweeping motion. Smith's body fell to the
ground.)
Candice: You monster. How could you do that to your own men?
Captain Shoulder: It's easy. Just do it.
Shia Labeouf Voice: JUST DO IT!
(Captain Shoulder took off his gear and dropped it on Smith's and Craclepop's lifeless bodies.)
Captain Shoulder: Hold this for me. I won't be long.
(Captain Shoulder began walking towards Candice. She starts to sweat.)
Candice: (What have I gotten myself into?)
Captain Shoulder: Prepare to face humiliation, woman. This is a lesson you won’t soon forget.
(Meanwhile)
(Charlie and Josaline were in the Bat Mobile and on their way to City Hall.)
Charlie: That was interesting.
Josaline: What was?
Charlie: Meeting Batman and Robin in Los Angeles
Josaline: ...I guess.
Charlie: You guess? Meeting Batman is always cool.
Josaline: What about Robin?
Charlie: He's...straight.
(They both laughed uncontrollably. While laughing, Charlie was accidentally swerving
the Bat Mobile from left to right, hitting Zombies while doing so. He gained control over the Bat
Mobile as the laughing ceased.)
Charlie: Oh man. I crack myself up.
(Charlie saw something when he looked out in front of him.)
Charlie: Oh shit!
(Charlie stamped on the brakes which caused Josaline and himself to thrust back and forth a few
times before stopping. Josaline screamed. Afterwards, she looked towards Charlie.)
Josaline: What's your problem?
(Charlie pointed in the direction he was looking.)
Charlie: Look!
(Charlie and Josaline saw a shadowy figure in the distance walking towards
them.)
Josaline: Who or what is that?
Charlie: I know. It's probably the ice cream man.
(Charlie unbuckled his seat belt.)
Charlie: I'm about to get an ice cream sandwich.
(Charlie opened the car door and began to exit the Bat Mobile. Josaline notice something shiny slowly
coming from its hand.)
Josaline: Charlie, I don't think that's the ice cream man.
(Charlie looked at Candice with a confident look.)
Charlie: Preposterous. Don't be silly. Of course it's the ice cream man. Who else could it be?
(Charlie continued to exit out the Bat Mobile. Josaline took another look at the figure and noticed
what cause the shine.)
Josaline: CHARLIE, THOSE ARE CLAWS!
(Charlie stopped moving and looked at the shadowy figure. He noticed that the shadowy figure, did in
fact, have claws.)
Charlie: OH FUCK! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
(Charlie quickly got back into the Bat Mobile, closed the door, and locked the all the doors.
Afterwards, he put his seatbelt on.)
Charlie: That thing have claws!
Josaline: I know! I the one who told you!
Charlie: What the hell is that thing?!
Josaline: I don't know, but those claws look very sharp!
Charlie: Those aren’t claws, bitch! Those are blades!
Josaline: Bitch?! Oh no you didn't just call me that!
Charlie: I'm sorry! It's just, you calling those things claws are an understatement! The
motherfuckers are still growing longer and longer as we speak! If this keeps up, they will be long
enough to touch his feet! HIS FEET!
(The shadowy figure begins to run towards the Bat Mobile.)
Charlie: He's running! He's running! What do we do?! What do we do?!
(Josaline slaps Charlie.)
Josaline: Calm down! We need to watch its movements to see what it is going to do next!
(The shadowy figure disappeared.)
Charlie: He disappeared! OH MY GOD! HE DISAPPEARED! WHAT DO WE DO?!
(Josaline slapped Charlie again.)
Josaline: I think he's gone. I suppose there's nothing to worry about, for now.
(Charlie looked at Josaline.)
Charlie: Do you really think so?
(The Bat Mobile begins to rock from side to side as if it was going to flip over.)
Charlie: HOLY BA-JESUS!
Josaline: THAT THING MUST HAVE COME BACK!
(Charlie gets into the fetal position and then he begins to rock back and forth while his thumb is in his
mouth.)
Charlie: I want my mommy. I want my mommy.
(The Bat Mobile stopped rocking. Josaline looks at Charlie, disgraced at him.)
Josaline: Wow. What a man you are.
(Charlie stopped rocking back and forth, took his thumb out of his mouth and looked towards
Josaline.)
Charlie: How about you just shut up, OK?! I didn't ask for any of this! I'm scared out of my mind! I
don't understand why you’re not scared!
(Josaline went to slap Charlie once more, but was stopped when Charlie grabbed Josaline by the
wrist.)
Josaline: What the...
Charlie: If you slap me one more time, I will cut off your hand and feed it to whatever's out there.
(Charlie released Josaline's wrist.)
Josaline: You're stronger than I thought. Just what I like in a man.
Charlie: I just noticed that we stopped rocking.
Josaline: Thanks for the great observation, professor. Is it gone?
Charlie: I don't know. Maybe you should go out there and find out.
Josaline: Why should I? You're the man.
Charlie: You're the one who acts manlier than I do. Wait. Did I just insult myself?
Josaline: You're a smartass and a dumbass at the same time.
Charlie: Oh yeah! Well, you're a...
(Something landed on the wind shield. Charlie and Josaline quickly looked at the windshield and
saw a man with a hairy face. Charlie and Josaline screamed at the top of their lungs.)
Man: What's up, bub? What's up, babe?
(Charlie and Josaline stopped screaming.)
Charlie: Bub?
Josaline: Babe?
Charlie and Josaline: There's only one person who calls me that.