Chapter 5

(Batman and Robin walk to the driver side of the of the Bat Mobile.)

Charlie: Hey, Batman. How have you been?

Batman: Don't you "Hey, Batman. How you been?" me!

Charlie: Whoa! Whoa! Did Robin turn you gay?

Batman: NO!

Charlie: Easy, buddy. What's up with all the hostility?

Batman: Are you fucking kidding me?!

Robin: Yeah!

Batman: Do you know how long it took me to track you down?

Robin: Yeah!

Batman: Do you realize how long it took me to get here without my Bat Mobile?

Robin: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Batman: Robin...if you don't shut the hell up, I will destroy you.

(Robin pants got tight and he began to smile.)

Robin: Yes! Just the way I like it.

(Batman turned towards Robin.)

Batman: What?!

Robin: JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT.

(Josaline was shocked.)

Josaline: Wow! Is he gay?

Charlie: Yes. He is gay.

Batman: OMG! What did I tell you about saying that in public?

(Robin began to frown.)

Robin: You told me not to say it in public.

Josaline: Is Batman gay?

Charlie: I'm afraid Batman is gay as well.

(Batman looked at Charlie.)

Batman: SHUT UP!

Robin: But Batman, I couldn't help myself.

(Batman turned towards Robin.)

Batman: Oh god! Shut the hell up. Just stop.

(Robin pants got tighter.)

Robin: Only if you make me.

Josaline: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Charlie: What the hell is wrong with you, man?

Batman: I should have never given you that costume.

Robin: This is the best gift you have ever given me.

(Robin turned away from Batman.)

Robin: Does this suit make my ass look big?

(Josaline became disgusted and covered her eyes with her hands.)

Josaline: Charlie, let’s get the hell out of here. That guy is creeping me out.

(Charlie turned towards Josaline.)

Charlie: But I wanted to keep making fun of him.

Josaline: JUST DRIVE!

Charlie: But...

(Josaline placed her hands on each side of Charlie's face.)

Josaline: Charlie...I can't take this anymore. This is getting very disturbing and I don't want to be here

any longer.

(Suddenly, Charlie and Josaline heard a lot of noise coming from behind them. They looked in the rear

view mirror and saw a horde of Zombies running towards them.)

Josaline: And because of that.

Charlie: Good point.

Batman: Robin, why are you always acting weird?

Robin: You made me this way you big, strong, handsome...

Batman: Don't you finish that sentence.

(Charlie turned towards Batman.)

Charlie: Batman.

Batman: Give me a second, CLG. I'm kind of busy.

(Charlie became shocked.)

Josaline: CLG?

(Josaline looked at Charlie.)

Josaline: What is that and why did he call you that?

Charlie: Don't worry about it.

Josaline: But I...

(Charlie looked towards Josaline.)

Charlie: Don't worry about it!

Batman: I didn’t make you into anything, Robin. I wanted to make you into a war fighting machine, but I'm starting to doubt that you took in any of the information I gave you.

Robin: But you saved my life. The way you held me in your arms. That was very orgasmic. And those

arms. Yum.

Josaline: Disgusting! Disgusting! Disgusting!

(Charlie looked towards Batman.)

Charlie: Ummm, guys. We have a big problem heading our way.

Batman: You are fucking sick, Robin.

Robin: But I love you, Batman.

Josaline: Charlie, we need to get the hell out of here. Right now!

Charlie: You know what? Screw you guys. I'm getting the hell out of here. Have fun with your little love fest or whatever the hell it is. Peace out, buddy fuckers.

(Charlie and Josaline drove off in the Bat Mobile, leaving Batman and Robin behind.)

Batman: WAIT! WHAT ABOUT MY BATMOBILE?

Charlie: OH YEAH! THANK YOU!

Batman: SON OF A BITCH!

Robin: At least we're alone now.

Batman: Get the fuck away from me, you fucking asshole!

Robin: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!

Batman: JESUS CHRIST! WOULD YOU QUIT IT ALREADY?!

(Meanwhile)

(On the first floor of City Hall, two people are in a room. One person was standing up beside another person who is tied up to a chair.)

???: Please, Mr. Rabak...Mr. President. I'm sorry.

Rabak: If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it in the first place.

((RABAK'S BIO))

{Full Name: Rabak Johnson/ Age: 44/ Nationality: American/ Race: African-American and Caucasian/

Height: 5"10"/ Hair: Short and black/ Hobby: Speeches/ Favorite Dish: Sloppy Joe/ Hates: Liars/

Fear: Vampires}

Rabak punched the guy in the face.)

???: Please, sir. Have mercy.

Rabak: Mercy? Never heard of him.

(Barak punched him in the face again. The guy spits out blood from his mouth.)

Rabak: Your new name is idiot.

(Rabak leaned in close to the guys face.)

Rabak: Do you want to know why?

???: No, sir.

Rabak: I'll tell you why.

(Rabak stood up and turned away from the guy.)

Rabak: Your name is idiot because you must be one if you thought you could get away with this shit.

Now tell me, why did you do it?

???: Do what, sir?

Rabak: Why did you kiss my wife?

(The room door opened and a lady walked in the room.)

Rabak: Richelle?

Richelle: That’s right, honey. Whip his ass. Whip it real good.

((RICHELLE'S BIO))

{Full Name: Richelle Johnson/ Age: 43/ Nationality: American/ Race: African-American/ Height: 5"9"/

Hair: Little pass the shoulder and black/ Hobby: Cheating/ Favorite Dish:

Hamburgers/ Hates: Politics/ Fear: Being arrested}

Rabak: Richelle, quiet down. I'm trying to interrogate him.

Richelle: You go ahead and do your thing, baby.

???: But sir...

Rabak: Shut up.

(Rabak faced towards the guy.)

Rabak: Now start talking.

???: Sir. I was doing my daily patrol and then, all of a sudden, I saw your wife.

Rabak: So you admit to it.

???: Please, sir. Let me finish.

Rabak: Very well. You may continue.

???: When I saw your wife, she started walking towards me, while licking her lips.

(Rabak looks at Richelle. Richelle shook her head, declining the accusation. Rabak looked at the guy

again.)

???: When she got close enough, she grabbed my and just kissed me.

(Rabak laughs.)

???: What's funny, sir?

(Rabak stopped laughing and had a serious expression on his face.)

Rabak: You said ass. It's funny.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

???: Was it really that funny, sir?

Rabak: Was I laughing?

???: Ummm...yes?

Rabak: Then it was funny. I don't know why you're not laughing.

(The guy looked at Rabak and then got slapped in the face.)

Rabak: I don't know why you're not laughing.

(The guy startslaughing.)

Rabak: Shut up.

(He stops laughing.)

Rabak: Continue.

(The guy started laughing again and then Rabak slapped him again.)

Rabak: Stop laughing and continue with your story, idiot.

???: Sorry, sir. After your wife kissed me, that's where you came in, sir. You got to believe me.

Rabak: So, you want to accuse my wife of something she didn't do?

???: But sir, I'm not lying.

Rabak: Poor idiot. You say that without proof.

???: But...she doesn't have proof either.

Rabak: She doesn't need proof. She's has me and I'm all she needs. Also, you leave me no choice.

???: No choice. Sir, what do you mean?

Rabak: Honey.

Richelle: Yes babe?

Rabak: Fetch me my cutting gloves.

Richelle: Which ones?

Rabak: The ones that look like claws.

(Richelle left the room to go get the cutting gloves.)

???: Sir, why are you doing this?

Rabak: I'm not going to lie to you. It's actually fun.

(Richelle came back into the room with the cutting gloves and handed them to

Rabak. He then put them on.)

???: Please, sir. You don't have to this.

Rabak: But I kind of do.

(The guy began to cry.)

Rabak: Crying is not going to get you anywhere except dead. Accept your punishment like an idiot.

(Rabak gets ready to punch the guy in the face, but stopped after hearing the doorbell.)

Rabak: You're lucky, for now. I'll deal with you later.

(Rabak took off the cutting gloves and walked out the room.)

???: You're fucking crazy, sir.

Richelle: He's not the only one.

(Richelle walked up to the man, slapped him, kissed him and slapped him again.)

Richelle: I'll see you tonight.

(Michelle walked out the room and closed the door behind her.)

???: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Rabak was walking towards the door.)

Rabak: I wonder who's at the door.

(When Rabak got to the door, he looked out the peephole.

Rabak: Oh hell naw. What is this prick doing here?

(Rabak went into a closet next to the door and pulled out a shotgun.

Rabak: I'll show this jerk what happens when you don't respect my authorita.

(Rabak opened the door and points the gun at the person who was at the door.)

Rabak: What the hell are you doing here, Kush?

(Kush began to smile.)

Kush: Careful with that gun, Rabak. You might poke somebody's eye out with that thing.

((KUSH'S BIO))

{Full Name: Kush Clint/ Age: 47/ Nationality: American/ Race: Caucasian/ Height: 5"10"/ Hair: Short

and grey/ Hobby: Throwing things/ Favorite Dish: Potatoes/ Hates: Dried grapes (raisins)/ Fear:

Nothing}

Rabak: Your mom didn't have any complaints last night.

Kush: Low blow, Rabak. Low blow.

Rabak: Stop repeating what your mom did and tell me why you’re really here.

Kush: I just came to see how you were doing, Rabak?

Rabak: Get the hell off my property before I shoot you.

Kush: Come on, Rabak. You already know guns don't scare me. I'm Kush for crying out loud.

(Rabak stops pointing the gun at Kush.)

Rabak: Dammit all. I forgot that you of all people aren't afraid of getting shot.

Kush: I'm going to take that as a compliment because I like you, Rabak.

Barak: Well, that's weird. I hate your fucking guts. Anyway, get your crazy, old ass in here.

(Kush walked into City Hall. Before Rabak closed the door, he looked outside and saw someone outside, on the street facing towards City Hall.)

Rabak: Kush. Is that person with you?

Kush: Who?

(Kush turned around and looked outside to notice someone standing outside on the street looking at City Hall.)

Kush: No. I came here alone.

Rabak: Do you think they could've been following you?

Kush: Why would I be followed?

Rabak: That's a good point. I know I wouldn't follow you anywhere.

Kush: Exactly.

Rabak: Hey?! Can I help you with anything?!

(That person did not respond.)

Raback: If not, can you please go away?! You are making me very uncomfortabl!

(That person started running towards Rabak and Kush.)

Rabak: Oh no you don't!

(Rabak pointed his shotgun at the person who was running towards City Hall and shot at them. They

dodged left, avoiding the gun shot and continued running towards Rabak and

Kush.)

Rabak: Shit!

Kush: Close the fucking door!

Rabak: Bitch! If I do that, the door might get destroyed!

Kush: Fine! We only have one option left!

Rabak: What's that?

(Kush pulled a potato out of his pocket.)

Kush: POTATO!

Rabak: What?! A fucking potato?! What's that supposed to do?!

Kush: Just sit back and watch a pro at his best.

(Kush threw the potato at the person who was running towards them.)

Kush: Better take cover.

(Bush turned around and dove to the ground, covering his head.)

Rabak: What?!

(The potato hit the person who was running towards City Hall and then there was an explosion. The

explosion caused Rabak to fly back and land on the ground, dropping the shotgun. Barak

grabbed the shotgun and slowly stood up, struggling while doing so. Barak slowly walked towards

the door and looked outside to notice that person was gone.)

Rabak: Where did they go?

(Rabak closed the door, faced away from the door and leaned against the door. Kush stood up, wiped

the dust off of him and faced towards Barak.)

Rabak: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!

Kush: That, my good friend, was a potato exploding.

Rabak: Why do you carry a potato in your pocket?

Kush: I always have a potato in my pocket. It's for good measure.

Rabak: For what?

Kush: I don't know. Just cause.

Rabak: But it exploded.

Kush: The beauty about that is, that was just a regular potato. I didn't know it was going to make

them explode. Just a coincidence I guess.

Rabak: You crazy, psychotic little bastard. Do you have any idea what you just did?

Kush: I saved your life.

Barak: You killed an innocent human being.

Kush: Are you serious? You shot at them.

Rakak: That's different.

Kush: How so?

Rabak: I'm the president.

Kush: Well, if they're so innocent, how come they were running towards us without saying anything?

Rabak: I don't know, but that was pretty fucked up.

Kush: Quit your crying and let’s go have some tea.

Rakak: I hope I don't go to jail for this.

(Rabak stopped leaning against the door and began to head towards the kitchen. Suddenly,

he and Kush heard a whistling sound. Rabak and Bush looked at each other.)

Rabak and Kush: Did you just whistle. No. Then who could that be?

(Rabak and Kush heard a knock at the door. They both raced towards the door.)

Rabak: Who is it?

(Nobody answered.)

Rabak: ANSWER ME, DAMMIT!

(Rabak pointed his gun at the door.)

Kush: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, ANSWER HIM!

Rabak: I'm pretty sure they heard me.

BKuh: If they did, they would've answered you by now.

Rakak: Good point.

(There was a knock at the door again.)

Rabak: I'M GETTING PISSED OFFI I'M ABOUT TO SHOOT YOU DOWN ALONG WITH THAT DOOR!

(Rabak begins to walk towards the door.)

Kush: WAIT!

(Barak stopped walking, pointed his gun towards the ground and faced towards Kush.)

Rakak: WHAT?!

Kush: What if it's my mother?

Rakak: Why would it be your mom?

(Kush started shaking frantically.)

Kush: Because she scares the fuck out of me.

Rabak: You're scared of your mother?

Kush: Yeah. If you met her, you'd be too.

(Rabak started laughing.)

Rabak: I hope it's your mom.

(Rabak walked towards the door.)

Kush: Be careful.

Rabak: I'm just looking out the peephole.

(He went to the window that was next to the door and open the curtains to see out the window. Rabak

did not see anybody.)

Rabak: Looks like nobody's there. Damn kids must be playing Ding Dong Ditch. They keep fucking

with my door. I'm going to knock them upside their heads with a vacuum cleaner.

Kush: Thank goodness. As long as it's not my...

(Suddenly, a woman popped out from the bottom of the window, outside of the house and began to

bang on the window. Rabak got scared and backed away from the window.)

Rabak: Oh my god.

Kush: Where the fuck did she come from?

Rabak: I don't know, but she is ugly as shit.

Kush: Fuck...You're right.

Rabak: Looks like someone beat the shit out of her with a baseball bat and didn't stop until they got

scared of looking at her.

Kush: That's very detailed. Do you have something you want to talk about?

(Rabak looked very suspicious.)

Rabak: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Kush: (Sarcastically) OK.

(The lady broke the window and began crawling through the window.)

Rabak: Shit just got real.

Kush: Do something. Shoot her for god's sake.

Rabak: That's what I plan on doing.

(Rabak pointed his gun at the woman and shot her in the chest causing her to fly back out the

window.)

Kush: Shit, Rabak. Now that's what I'm talking about.

Raak: Yeah. I sure did show her. That's what happen when you try to break into City Hall.

(Kush walked over to Rabak and gave him a high five.)

Kush: You're the bomb, homie.

Rabak: Yeah. Wait. What the hell you just say, punk?

Kush: Too soon?

Rabak: More like, don't ever call me that in your pathetic life.

(Rabak and Kush noticed from the corner of his eye the lady that was shot through the window get

back up with a hole in her chest.)

Kush: Holy shit.

Rabak: What the hell is she?

(Something came crashing through the ceiling. Rabak and Kush quickly dived out of the way while

covering their heads. Smoke clouded the area.)

Kush: What's going on?

(When the smoke cleared Rabak and Kush noticed a man standing on top of the debris. They both

quickly stood up.)

???: That, my friends, is what you would call a Zombie.

Kush: Zombie!

Rabak: Who are you and why the hell did you come here?

(The man began laughing.)

Rabak: What's so funny, bastard?

(The man stopped laughing and started to smile.)

???: My name is Frank. Pleased to meet you.

Kush: Are you one of those things?

Frank: Those things? Oh. You mean what she is. Yes, but at the same time no. It's kind of hard to

explain. Let's just say I'm a special kind of Zombie.

Rabak: Did you come here to save us or to kill that thing?

Frank: The reason for me being here is quite simple. You shot my precious Zombie. So now, I must kill

you.

Rabak: But it attacked us first.

Frank: What's wrong with being a little hungry?

Kush: Hungry? Was it trying to eat us?

Frank: Of course. What else would they eat? Have you ever consider what a child might do when they

don't get their way? They begin to do things that are not right or at least, not right in your eyes. But,

in the end, they are forgiven mainly because they are children. The same goes for this Zombie that

attacked you. It just wants something to eat. But you prevent it from satisfying itself which is

unacceptable.

Rabak: You're sick. Kush let's get out of here. Kush?

(Rabak looked towards where Kush was at and saw the Zombie eating Kush's face.)

Rabak: KUSH!

Frank: Looks like she’s getting her meal after all. How wonderful?

Rabak: You son of a bitch! Kush might not have been the brightest of souls nor was he the funniest.

But dammit, it was awesome when I was able to point a gun at him and now I can't do that anymore

because you and your Zombies want to come and eat his face off! I'll kill you!

(Rabak pointed the gun at the Zombie who was eating Kush's face and hit it in the head.)

Frank: Oh. Now that wasn't very nice.

Rabak: Shut up, freak show.

(Rabak pointed the gun at Frank and shot him in the chest. Frank was still standing.)

Frank: You got to try better than that.

Rabak: DIE!

(Rabak began shooting Frank multiple times with the shotgun. He continued to shoot Frank until he

was out of ammo. Rabak shot Frank 8 times in the chest and 2 times in the head. Frank fell to the

ground. Rabak was breathing heavily.)

Rabak: I finally did it.

(Rabak pointed the gun towards the ground.)

Rabak: Asta Lavista, douchebag.

(Rabak notices Frank move his hand.)

Rabak: What?! What are you?

Frank: Good job. You actually manage to get me on the ground. I'm impressed.

(Frank slowly stood up. The bullets that he was shot with slowly fell out of his body and he began to

regenerate himself.)

Frank: It's a pity, though. I just stole these clothes and now they're ruined.

Rabak: Why are you still alive?

Frank: Alive? No, my good sir. On the contrary. I'm dead.

(Frank flew towards Rabak. Rabak reached into his pockets to get ammo for the shotgun, but before

he can take his hand out his pockets, Frank grabbed Rabak's head and ripped it off his body. Rabak's

body fell to the ground.)

Frank: You were going to die either way, but you could at least spared the clothes that I'm wearing.

(Frank dropped Rabak's head and flew through the hole in the ceiling from where he entered.)

Richelle: Honey, what's all that noise?

(When Richelle walked into the room, she saw her husband's headless body on the ground.)

Richelle: Baby?

(From the corner of her eye, Richelle saw her husband's head in the middle of the room. She then fell

to her knees, covered her face with her hands and began to cry.)

Richelle: No. This can't be. Now I got to look for another husband.

(Richelle removed her hand from her face and saw a woman covered in blood walking towards her.)

Richelle: Who are you?

(The woman dived towards Richelle, landing on top of her and start biting her and ripping off her face.

Richelle: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!