The entrance to the Grand Vault was truly opulent, and yet it still served a purpose. In the days of the Omnic Empire, it was said that a room built specifically for a state-of-the-art monolith that somehow balanced all the sums faster than the speed of light was the only accountant. Now, forty-two of the world’s greatest minds, enhanced by technology and Elven rituals did so, all linked as one. These beings were known as the Accountants, and were the center of economic trade and stock brokering at a level rivaling that of the Omnic Empire. Each of them was scribbling away as Victor and Silk strode past, adopting the look of feigned indifference as they moved in unison. Going all the way to the clerk’s desk, Victor looked up and acted according to the script he had memorized for over three weeks.
“You. Clerk. On behalf of the Harrifena House, I will withdraw the dowry as agreed upon one year ago.” The clerk looked over his glasses, the male catsith looking equal disinterested and clinical. “Very well. Would you like the red or white sash?” Acting according to the password, Silk merely nodded and responded.
“I would like the black sash, as requested previously”. Bowing, the Catsith then led them to a set of double doors and opened it, revealing an elegant set of stairs with an Omnic cart sitting on a pair of tracks. Sleek and streamlined with diagonal glowing lines being dispersed throughout, this pure-white vehicle was perfect for transporting both people and wealth. Stepping inside it, the cart smoothly shuttled off seemingly of it’s own volition, going deep into the ground and taking many dizzying turns before moving to a door near the middle of a long corridor. Stepping on the tiled surface, the clerk opened the door and retrieved a large amount of traditional Omnic currency. Scooping out the hexagonal tiles the size of Victor’s thumbnail, he put the metallic trinkets into a bag and handed them to Victor. Then, he walked into the vault and opened a latch in the door, revealing a black ring that seemed to absorb the light around it. He also handed Silk an odd-looking whetstone she was eyeing when she requested to withdraw it.
“It’s customary to give this to the heir once he is of age, though it’s function is unknown.”, he said apologetically while ushering them into the cart. “It’s from the Ancient Civilization of Omnia, so it probably has some use, but none but their royalty ever knew what it did”. Changing subjects abruptly upon exiting the cart back to the entrance, he promptly announced, “Here you are, young sir and madam. And may I congratulate you on your imminent marriage? It’s not every day that scions of two houses join forces, after all.”
“Yeah, I guess. Thank you again, sir”, said Silk. Suddenly, everything went quiet and several crossbows emerged from hatches, with the doors immediately becoming clouded instead of their usual transparent crystalline material.
“I’m sorry, excuse me?” said the Clerk quietly while revealing the stylus in his pocket to be a telescoping spear. “I’m afraid I didn’t hear that correctly”.
“Oh balls. There was supposed to be a password there too, huh?” said Victor in a wise bit of hindsight. “Wasn’t that your job to blackmail the noble heads of the house? We knew that this marriage between the two richest families was an opportunity. Especially when they were going to make a trip to retrieve the money for the dowries and to fund the wedding”
“How should I know they had a second conversation password? I thought I got all the information using the truthseer drugs.” hissed Silk while deflecting some crossbow bolts.
“Did you remember to--”
“Yes, I remembered to make them flip between both of the artificial split personalities used for keeping secrets. You don’t have to remind me”, Silk responded harshly.
“Both? I thought I told you to search for the split personality inside the split personality. That’s a new technique they learned a couple of months ago”
“Well I don’t remember you telling me that.”, Silk said defensively. “It’s possible you might have forgotten”
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“Well, I guess i’ll be more careful next time on updating you. Sorry ‘bout that”, Victor apologised while carefully deflecting the arrows with the armored bag of coins and tossing it to Silk’s backpack for safekeeping. She was faster and stronger, after all.
“Ugh, and I guess I'm sorry for possibly forgetting to do so”, Silk grumpily replied while cutting open the door with her Thief’s Blade. Having both people agree on something and then acknowledging their own faults was something that prevented them from squabbling, especially in high-pressure situations that might kill them if they argued. She then took the bag from her pack to hit someone with it and cut a hole in it, using the glint to blind some guards temporarily, making sure none of them spilled. She then set the backpack onto a nearby Accountant’s table (who was ignoring it like the others and continuing with her work) to make it easier to move about.
Having completed their agreed-upon, grudge-proof ritual that they did whenever a mistake that was ambiguous between the two was made, the two quickly started dispatching the Fleshy Automata by hitting them until they passed out. Or, in Silk’s case, by cutting them until the bloodless Flesh Golems were unable to function. Darting out of the hall, the duo began running along the rooftops until they reached their getaway vessel, the guards stopping once their pre-programmed perimeter of protection was passed. The clerk also stopped attempting to kill them, nowhere to be seen.
As they boarded the boat, the pair breathed a sigh of release until they realised why they weren’t being pursued any more. “Crap”, they said in unison. “We forgot to grab the backpack on our way out”. As they got to Scinticius, they immediately got to Bundo and asked him to do one of the Elve’s famous Rituals to bind the duo to silence. This disaster of a mission would never be talked about again. Ever. After all, the only “spoils” of their heist was an ancient whetstone useful for only the blades of a Thief, and a ring that had no obvious purpose aside from looking cool.
A juvenile, barely foot-tall Bundo began walking out of his mother’s den to the duo. “Okay, so Bundo hears that you want a pact of silence. Is this true?” he asked.
“Yes. absolutely and 100 percent yes”, replied Victor and Silk in unison.
Taking out a jar of Magnesium Sulfate and spreading it in a hexagon, Bundo began scurrying about and mixing in various reagents in a complex geometric circuit. Once he had been done making an odd hexagonal-based circle, he then started on the important bit: charging it with the energy required to alter Matter Frequencies. Much like any other sort of Lost Technology, much of what the Elves of yore had known about what they worshipped before humanity had arrived was lost with the collapse of the Omnic Empire. What was known, however, was that they worshipped the Elementals. Existing on one of the three adjacent frequencies that matter could exist on, they essentially lived in a parallel universe accessible via elven rituals. Muttering the sacred words, Bundo began scattering an odd energy on the formation.
Arcs of black lightning spread around the circle, the chemical compounds altering and melting until an odd buzzing sound was heard, growing louder until it was nearly deafening. Still chanting, Bundo’s words also increased in volume.
“Oh Hydrogen, goddess of creation and unity, grant us an audience with thy child. Grand bonder of all, the connector and the creator, Carbon.” finishing his chant to the Elemental of Carbon, the sixth of the elementals, Bundo immediately collapsed onto the ground on one knee. A rift generated in the air, an odd diamond-like golem standing before them, with rifts around the being much like their own collapsing and generating once more. The size of an entire kingdom unto itself, the being rumbled at them. “YOUNG HIEROPHANT BEARER OF MY RAIMENT GRANT ME THINE REQUEST”, it said without pausing.
Bundo responded simply. “Bundo requests for his friends to have a Vow of Silence '', he said respectfully. The diamond humanoid nodded, revealing it to have thousands of facets each gesticulating differently to each rift, like some gem with a being as one of it’s faces. “AND IN RETURN WHAT WILL THOU GRANT FOR EXCHANGE” it said in an emotionless voice. Offering up a boulder of coal larger than his entire body, Bundo bowed and said nothing, simply pushing it up to the portal. Suddenly, it disappeared, the rift for a moment showing not just the sound and light in the area but everything. Wind rushed briefly as the being reached a hand out and caught the lump of coal, seemingly a dust speck until it was absorbed into its hand.
“A WORTHY SACRIFICE. SILENCE HAS BEEN BOUGHT” it said in a rough tone. “THIS REGRET OF YOURS HAS BEEN FORGOTTEN ONLY IN THE DEEPEST OF DREAMS WILL YOU BE ABLE TO EXPRESS OUTWARD REMEMBRANCE OF THIS MOMENT”. With those rumbling words, the rift closed. Although Victor and Silk felt nothing, they suddenly had no desire to speak or indicate that their monumental screw-up of a mission ever happened. It was as if their very brains were altered, the being of carbon somehow having an intrinsic link with the very material they were made out of.
Immediately after the ritual, a portly elf roughly 3 feet tall opened the hatch to their underground warren and shouted “Bundo B. Bundo YOU GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW. RITUALS ARE NOT TO BE USED AS TOYS! SOMEONE COULD GET HURT! HONESTLY, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE WE WOULD NEVER BE SO IRRESPONSIBLE. IN FACT, WE WERE---”. With this tirade, Victor and Silk immediately edged out of the vicinity of the warren in the dirt lot that was Bundo’s home and left before they would be caught in the berating of their elven buddy. Although they didn’t get caught, it was the aftermath of that fateful day that would be the reason this was considered such a disaster, bungling of the robbery aside.
Back at the ship, the duo opened their eyes and snapped out of their reverie, conscious enough to perceive where they were. “You really got more than me?”, croaked Victor.
“Of course. 110. You sure you’re not losing your touch?” questioned Silk.
Victor remained silent.