So here I was, laying on a hopefully not too dirty stone, letting the sun dry my thankfully clean body, asking myself how to not die of starvation. Eating random Berries and mushrooms? Might as well find a snake to poison myself. Hunting? Forgetting for a minute that I was a weak as shit goblin, I don’t even know how to make a fire. Now goblins probably can eat raw food, but I’d honestly rather fucking not. Well, at least whatever food I may find, I can wash it by the river…

"And now I am sure I hear something in the bushes...huh, I have pretty good hearing, but considering my big ass ugly ears, not really surprising. Still, better once again hide behind a tree before something tries to eat me again…"

Through the bushes comes something-someone I had not expected. A beaten up young man in robes, dagger in hand, looking almost as out of breath as I did.

"Finally, these guards seem to have given up, thank the system. Hypocrites, I rob one orphan and I am suddenly “evil” and “should be thrown in jail” but when they try to rob me of my hard earned money, suddenly it's alright to do that."

A thief of some kind, at first I wanted to call out to him because, well, I was scared and alone. But considering he is a lawless thug, I pretty much didn’t expect that he would have been very merciful to me, even if I wasn’t a monster. But I noticed some other things, more important than anything else to me at that time. First of, he just took out a piece of a half eaten fruit of some kind. I am starving. Second of, he has actual clothes, sure I all of them are too big for me, but his rough leather robe should be able to be cut to my size...and when we are already talking about cutting, I could use a weapon…

"I...don’t have to kill him. Just..sneak, hit the back of his head and then steal his stuff. I mean, he is a thief right? But if I leave him alone and some other monster finds him? Shit, what to do-

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"Just wait you fucking village people, once I get back to the base I’ll convince boss and the rest of them that this shitty village is worth raiding, but for now let’s set camp, this much running would make an orc tired…"

You know, normally, when people talk to themselves, they are seen as strange, but for some reason, that happens way more often in this world than you’d think. Hell, even now I am just talking to myself, narrating my life story. So anyway, dawn was already coming and I cold barely wait for him to fall asleep on his branch he climbed up to, clutching a stone in hand and determined to get myself some clothes and whatever food he has hopefully left in his little backpack. Well, you do what you have to do.

Bludgeoning proficiently (common) gained

A common weapons skill most close-combatants know.

Hit their heads with a war hammer and see if they are still so great, these mages- An old mage-hunter, involved in a failed revolution against a tyranical wizard king.

I, accidentally mind you, killed that man. How? Well, I hit his head, and he...fell down an hit some stones head on. So that was traumatic once again. But knowing he was a piece of shit and something I can only call goblin instincts made it...kind of hilarious to me. Not like, "that's genuinely funny" hilarious. More like, "damn that's so dark it's funny" hilarious, you know?

Well, anyway, there I sat on my newly claimed branch, wanting to calm down before looting a dead mans corpse, looking up into the night sky wondering about what I’ll do now, noticing that this world has a moon. A gigantic, bluish moon, that made me almost fear that it will fall own upon me. You ever played majora's mask? Yeah, a bit like that, but thankfully without the nightmare inducing face on the moon. But other than that... it was nice, like a giant night light to help those fiendish monsters of the night go to sleep.

"Ah, fuck it, let’s do the corpse looting tomorrow, time for some sleeping."

And that was my first day on that godforsaken planet of adventure, riches, and not to forget, lots and lots of monsters.