I opened my eyes to see a bright blue sky and wonderous white clouds and beautiful birds. No wait those aren't birds those are dragons and I'm getting up, I was in some sort of jungle or a forest wait what's the difference between a jungle and a forest. I think one has tigers and the other doesn't and speaking of tigers something big just made a loud noise and I am leaving.

After hours of walking it seemed clear that I was going to die in this for- large flora covered area. All of a sudden I noticed a very alarming pain in my shoulder, as I look over I see that my shoulder is very much on fire. 

Now as any man in my position I stopped dropped and rolled until the fire was put out, I looked at my shoulder and noticed the fact that the words god-slayer were burned into my shoulder. This fire also alerted me to the fact that I am wearing poor people cloths, the clothes I was wearing were a shredded... I don't know what this is like a farmers top well half of one considering that fact that now it was burned.

Also I was wearing really shitty pants like Amish pants but to top it off the sun had gone down. I had been walking for who knows how long it might have been twenty minutes it could have been thirty but then it started raining. Something was off about the rain but I couldn't put my finger on it then I closely examined the "rain" and noticed that this so called rain was actually spiders, that's right it was raining spiders.

I was hauling ass across this forest jungle and the spiders were getting bigger at this point they were the size of German shepherds. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw I temple that was really old and overgrown but even though my spidey senses were tingling I ran in the temple anyway.

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 As soon as entered the temple I knew something was off was it the pile of skeletons in a corner who knows. But another thing that worried me was that all of the torches that were hung on the wall suddenly light themselves, then words appeared in my face "dungeon discovered" that's when I noticed that I had a hud along with an HP bar, a stamina bar, and a mana bar.

So I was checking out my stats and I was a bit perplexed at the fact that race had an unknown after it, I mean I'm human right? What else could I be, but riddle me this Batman where is the fucking kill everything spell because I don't think I'll be getting far with out that.

 Shall I give theses stats a closer look.

Name???

Class: God-slayer

Race: ???

----------------------------------------------------

Strength: ???

Vitility: ???

intelligence: ???

Dex: ???

Luck: ???

Charisma: ???

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"Why isn't there any numbers next to the skills am I that weak". 

Now that the room was well lit I could see what was in front of the pile of dead people it was a chest, now I've put hours into dark souls so believe me when I say that I know a mimic when I see a mimic alright. Looking around the pile I noticed some stuff was still useable like a long sword which I would be appropriating for the time being.

  I started taking armor pieces and in the end I looked like a goofy knight, if the gods are expecting some Cratos looking mother fucker to come after them they are going to be disappointed when Bill Nye the disappointment guy come after them.