Smugly, Em leaned forward, winking. “You’ve heard of the Second Street Kelpies, haven’t you? The richest gang in all of Hibernia?”
The silvertooth scammer nodded hesitantly, eyeing Em’s short and tousled golden hair, then squinting at their twisted club again with a hint of nervousness. The Kelpies might be known for their noble pandering and stacked coffers, but they were also known for being particularly wanton with beating up streetfolk. Good. The scammer was afraid now.
“Well…I’m not just a member of the Kelpies. I’m their damn treasurer,” Em gloated, pulling a few shining nuggets of gold from their pocket and waving them under the scammer’s nose. “And I’m not lacking in extra funds.”
The silvertooth scammer’s eyes widened, their nervousness dissipating. Em could see the greasy cogs turning in their mind: Money. Surely a LOT of it, if this kid really is the treasure of the Kelpies! But…how can I be sure…
Face much more friendly now, the scammer waved Em over to their cart of over expensive crystal vials and glass powder cases. “Good madame!...Sir?” The scammer tripped over their words, looking Em up and down confusedly. Fuck, I’ve fucked it all up! Em could nearly hear their thoughts.
“Address me as ‘good superior’,” Em winked. Internally, they cringed at the confused addresses and the use of ‘madame’, but it wasn’t as if they weren’t prepared. This happened on the daily.
The scammer coughed, evidently a little miffed by the confident demand to be called ‘superior’, but complied anyway with a blinding, greasy silver smile. ”Yes! My good superior! Here is my entire stock of imported products of the highest quality from Kuagong. Whitening powders, blemish reduction, wrinkle invisibility paste, everything a young superior like you could ever want!”
Em raised their eyebrows dramatically. “Well, fuck me again–I’ll take it all! The–what is it? Crystal eyes extract? And the powder, and the blemish stuff, and the wrinkle paste! What price are we talking for all of it, brother?”
The scammer’s eyes lit up with an oily fire, and their smile split into a grin. “Seeing as it’s a limited stock, I would be able to give it all to you for…let us say, one hundred gold only–a steal of the highest order! Normally, this entire stock would sell for something of a one thousand gold value! I’m sure that for the treasurer of the renowned Second Street Kelpies, it would be no problem to carry one hundred gold in your pocket, no?” The silvertooth scammer’s smile had turned slightly pointed, and their eyes probing. They were both testing and trying to milk Em for money. If they really were the treasurer of the Kelpies, it was true that they should be carrying a hundred gold–more like a thousand gold, really, in the combined value of jewelry, coin, and other useless noble wannabe trinkets. By asking for one hundred gold, this damn shark was both trying to suss out whether or not this street kid was really a rich treasurer, and trying to milk them if it was true! Em internally gritted their teeth. Externally, they winked, shrugging.
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“Sounds like you’re underselling yourself. How about a hundred fifty and we’ll call it even?”
The scammer’s eyes widened. First they lit up again like two greasy oil lamps, then darkened into suspicious lakes, then lit up again. Em knew what they were thinking: Even more gold? Ha! What a loser…But isn’t it strange that they’re bargaining UP? Are they really so stupid and stubborn? Hmm…Perhaps they are…There are many stubborn and stupid people on the streets, after all…Yes…In the end, they clapped their hands together and flashed Em a metal grin. “Even, then! Will you be paying in coin or jewels?”
Em grinned in return, casting a sideways wink at the young woman who was still standing nearby, clutching her small coin purse and watching the interaction with a quiet desperation. “Pure gold!” With that, they dug their hand deep into one of the many pockets of their worn leather pants and pulled out nuggets upon nuggets of sparkling gold, tossing them at the scammer’s feet. The scammer’s eyes went wide–each of these nuggets had to be worth ten gold coins at least, sizewise! One, two, five, ten, twenty–that had to be over fifty nuggets! Five hundred gold pieces? Unbelievable! But as all street folk know, don’t question generosity when it’s poured down on you. The scammer scrambled to pick up the nuggets, practically drooling.
Meanwhile, Em swaggered over to their cart and picked up a couple of each cheap cosmetic product–a few crystal vials, some white powders, little paste capsules. They handed them to the young woman standing nearby with a wink.
“Take them,” Em muttered. “But don’t expect anything good. Any don’t stop for these kinds of things any more. They’re scams, nothing’s really special about them. Your face looks stunning with those natural red spots, trust me.” They punctuated those last words with another charming wink. The young woman blushed slightly, staring at Em and holding the products in half-confused flusterment. Meanwhile, the scammer, too busy picking gold nuggets off the ground, had failed to hear Em’s words.
Em stepped over the scammer casually and drew out a pack of matches from their pocket. They lit one and held it up, watching the flame burn for a moment. It reflected in their dark blue eyes, trembling. Then, they tossed it onto the cart. It was like magic. In mere moments, the cart was consumed in smoke and fire, vials melting and cases cracking under the heat.