Chapter 11 - A dish best served messy

Day 1 of 6:

I wanted to test the responses of the goblins. I had a suspicion that maybe Val’s anti-scry ward was the reason I wasn’t noticed yesterday. To check this I casually approached the dungeon in broad daylight and in view of the guards. They didn’t even look at me. I strode down the stairs and looked through the upper floor. No one paid me any attention. Just like no one paid each other any attention. Except for when two goblins bumped into each other. That was apparently enough to trigger a fight to the death. These things truly were stupider than dirt.

My next test involved punching the guard out front in the face. In reality it was just a light slap, but sure enough the goblin started attacking me. Interestingly his comrade didn’t interfere. He just watched on in mild interest. Whatever the dungeon, or the mage did to keep goblins this docile, it had really weird side effects.

In conclusion, these goblins were not a threat in any way, shape, or form to me currently. Next I had to test out why this is.

I had Skadi move into view of the guards. At this they drew their weapon, but were not aggressive yet. When she came closer the goblins charged her. Of course They were not even close to being able to keep up with Skadi, so she wasn’t in danger, but interestingly about 15 other goblins came out of the dungeon and frantically looked around. All of them had spears.

So the Ward is not the problem. They just really see me as a fellow goblin. Also the dungeon seems to have some kind of silent alarm. I would have to factor this into my planning.

Day 2 of 6:

For day two I had planned on a bit of sabotage. During my goblin anatomy training we had also determined that a goblin spear would be rendered unusable by my aura in about 15 hours. So for this day I walked into the armoury and … well I stood there. I arranged the weapons racks so that My aura would encompass them all. But otherwise it was an uneventful day. Although I could confirm that the Goblins aren’t complete morons. When they went to get or deposit a spear they would notice the rearrangement of the room and act accordingly. With how braindead they seemed, you couldn’t be sure they would realise that much.

Day 3 of 6:

On the third day I wanted to check on my sabotage and test another Idea I had the day before. I went into the armoury and sure enough. The spears I sabotaged yesterday were still one touch away from disintegrating into splinters. Next I thought about a bit of biological warfare. I walked into the mess hall and injected all the meat with my blood. It was dead, but still organic, so I told the meat to rot. These goblins ate the obviously mouldy food. I shook my head as I walked out of that place. This had been the last day of preparations. I would rest during the next day. Then Skadi and I would strike in the night. That way we still had two full days to clear the whole thing.

Day 4 of 6:

I approached the entrance and simply slit both the guards throats. They didn’t have time to scream. Once inside I could smell that my plan had worked. There was a stench of vomit in the air. Most of the goblins were sick. This would be a bloodbath. First I went through the sleeping quarters one by one killing every goblin while asleep. In an hour I murdered 60 beings. 42 sleeping and another 18 clutching their stomach and moaning. Next was the Mess hall and living room. For those I started with the living room. There I stuck two goblins with my claws and made them go blind. They registered the attack, but without their sight all they could do was flail wildly around. This caused a chain reaction that soon had the entire room in a brawl. I did the same thing in the mess hall. The zombie did not care one bit, but for safety reasons I still stayed out of that thing’s line of sight.

All said and done I killed - or rather was responsible for the deaths of - 83 goblins. In two hours. That went suspiciously well. After the carnage I followed Val’s advice and took a bite out of the goblins, until I felt full, then I got outside and told Skadi to come. We started heading deeper into the dungeon. Skadi was walking a few dozen metres behind me, so I could keep my disguise. It was not long until we arrived at a spiral staircase. We followed it downward for what felt like an eternity.

Day 5 of 6:

Although it was probably just a bit after midnight, when we arrived at the bottom. Sadly what we found was the entrance to a gigantic fucking maze. I can not stress enough how annoying and huge this thing was. Obviously it was filled with traps. All the hits, from spinning saws and spike pits, to flamethrowers and poison darts.

I went into the maze with Skadi. I was burned 12 times, sliced 19 times, and I lost count how often I got impaled. I didn’t count Skadi’s injuries, but there were substantially fewer than mine. After every injury I had to take a break to heal myself and/or Skadi. The reserve I built from the other goblins was almost gone by the end. Of course the maze sans traps wasn’t hard in any way. You just pick a wall and follow it. That’s how you can brute force any maze.

All in all it took almost 30 hours to complete the maze, including brakes, which means it was already

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Day 6 of 6:

The last day. Luckily I saw a dark green glow after exiting the maze. It looked eerie, but since I was looking for a Blood-Ritual, eerie meant I was on the right path. Even more so, when I spied what looked like 6 humanoid figures standing in a circle around another humanoid. In all likelihood the mage and the [Rangers] my target. Served on a silver platter. I was excited, but I was not going to blow this, by rushing in. I was going to use my disguise to its fullest. The closer I could come the better my chances, was my rationale.

So I walked forward in the braindead way the goblins here preferred. I told Skadi to stay behind, but to be ready to attack at a moment’s notice. As I was approaching the ritual chamber I could make out the other villagers inside the circle. Rage welled up inside of me. There they were. The People I had known for all my life. Bound, gagged, most of them bleeding, but alive. They looked terrified. Around them were seven figures. The mage and six [Rangers]. I almost spat on the floor in frustration. “We were forced” my ass. I recognized their faces, but they weren’t wearing the usual leather armour. They were wearing the same weird robes the Mage was. They were also chanting alongside him. So this is why they betrayed us. For some ritual. For what? A new class? Some powerful Perk? Whatever it was, they would not succeed. I had a mission and I would not fail.

There was a shimmering field engulfing the whole circle. Cryptic sigils were drawn onto the floor and the blood of the villagers seemed to follow those sigils, rather than pool naturally. I poked the field with a finger. It felt like pushing two magnets together. The closer I got, the harder something was pushing against me. No sound escaped the barrier, but I could see the mage yelling at the [Rangers]. One of them stepped out of the field as if it was nothing. She yelled at me: “What the hell are you doing here, you little shit? Get away, go up top! Right now!” As she was pulling her leg back to kick me, I pounced on her. The black robes they were wearing may have looked rather snazzy, but they didn’t offer much, if any protection from my claws.I dug my claws deep into her leg and injected her with my blood. Gods that felt satisfying. She was stunned at the situation. She was also still standing on one leg. When I commanded all of her muscles to stiffen the unbalanced [Ranger] fell back into the barrier, however her feet were still with me, or rather my claws were still in her legs, on the outside. I saw an opportunity and took it. I commanded the [Rangers] head to shine.

I closed my Eyes and buried my face in the robe I was holding on to. The others took no such precautions. It wasn’t quite the supernova I had burned Skadi and myself with, but it was more than enough to blind even a level 20 [Ranger] for a minute or more. More importantly the mage lost his concentration and the barrier fell, just as I had hoped.

The next part is not as epic as I would like, or as exciting, but it is the truth. Skadi and I slaughtered all our targets. Imagine fighting against something the size of a child, but with the strength of three men and the speed of four and the robustness of six. Oh and also the child has claws that are hot as fire. And you can’t see. And there is a Wolf also attacking you. Frankly they were all fucked from the start. I won’t even pretend otherwise. That doesn’t mean I didn’t get hurt at all, one of the bastards managed to break my nose, but that was all they could do, until they fell before our combined assault.

The only problem was one that was rather obvious in retrospect. If you want to stop a blood ritual you shouldn’t fight people to the death with claws on top of the ritual circle. Also you especially shouldn’t bleed on it yourself.

After I eviscerated the last [Ranger] I noticed that the green glow had intensified severalfold.

The next thing I noticed was two giant tentacles with eyeballs and fangs emerging from the centre of the circle.

One approached Skadi, the other did me. We were both transfixed and at least I felt like I couldn’t move, nor that I should. Whatever this was, my best bet was to hope it would be in a good mood

G̷̨̢̢̻̙̤̞͕̩̏̋̈̊̑͌̂͂̿ͅo̶̡̨͓̲̦̦͓͉̮̬̞͍̗̖̟͓̤̺̤̮̤̊͆͜ͅͅở̴̧̛̮̪̝̠͓̘̹̩̬͇̔̔̈͑̉̐̌̔̀̂̓͗͋͋̅̄̾͗̊͝͝ͅd̸͚͔͕̫̟̥̝̬̯̣̻̮̰͌͆̆͛̃͌͐́̅̽̑͑͊̿̽͌̿̉̀͘͠͝͝ ̸̡̙͈͎͍͈̦͈͇͔̫͍͈̙̲̗̪̭́̔̈́̀͋ḿ̶̧͇̪͇̟̀͋͛̏̊̚ỏ̶̡͍̗̼͕̯̗̟̦͍͈̭̺̦͈̦̠̗̥̳̦̹̄̇͐͊̅͋̌̐͌̕͜͠ͅơ̸̡̞̠̬͎͖͍͚̺̬͈͋͌̆̂͗̂͛̉̈́̌̂͋́̾̾̈͆͊̋̚̚͘͝d̷̢͖̫̰̬̻͕͙̰͂͌̒̾̆̅̍́̒͌̍̇̄͊̑̕͜͠ ̶̢̠̯̮͔̓̿̂͊̽̂̅̇̍͜͝͠ȉ̶̝̞͓͌̓͒̍̿̀͛͑̈́͗͒̆͋̀͌̚͜n̸̖̜̼͙̪̟̤͈̼͌̈́̾̈̌͋͛̈́̉̀̄̀͊͂̓́̏͜͝d̵̡̝͓͔̤̱̰̙͓͎̺̼͚̣̹̩̗̭̄͆̅̀͑͒̑͑͜͝e̴̢̛̫̙̺̰͍͈̔̌̀́̃̈́̿̈́̄̎̋̔̈́̀̇̍̚͝ͅê̸̢̡̪͎͉̘̻̥̤̠̻͔̖̩̩̦͕̣͙̮̖͇͚̺̓̎̈̅͗͐̍́̾̀̍́̉̉͝͝ͅd̵̖͍͉̥͔͙̤͉̰͔̞̺̬̏̔̇͂̌̓̍ͅ.̵̧̨̧̭͎̬͈͍͚̦̜͎̠̭̬̘͐ ̶̡͖̯̱͙͎̫͉̮̺̠̠̜̲͓̩̥͇̝͒̍̑̈́͐͋̄̓̓̓͘͘͜͝ͅY̵̧̡̛̱̝̯̪̪̮̱̋̇̈̋̈́̉̍̚o̸̧̡̢̧̱̖̞̻̖̲͍̞̼̻̮͔̻̟͕͎̅̾̑͐͊̅̊͝ú̷̧̡̢͍̩̠̩̹̹̝͙͇̫̣͌̈̾͗̈́̃͝ͅ ̵̟̲̰̫͙͈͙̞̘͍̼͙̻̳̗̱̘̰̲̒͑̋́̑͑̏̓̇̇͊̓͗̏̌̓͒͛̎̇̚̕͠ͅä̷̡͍̮̝̰͎͇͖̯̻̜́̓͊͝r̶̢͓̩̮̪͕̙̗͎͎̲͖̗̮͓̝̭͓̺͕͉̀̓̈́̈́̈̓͋̾͝ͅe̶̢͔͇̞̗̞̳̗̐̔͋ ̷̧̨̻̤͇͕̥̩̤͎͖̭͓̠͍̤̰̱͋̐̓̌́̚͜ͅe̶̩̺̫͚̜̭͔͐̆͋͒̐̑̓̐̔̇̆̽n̷̢͉̖̞͍̮̝͈̺̞̯̙̼̦̹̝̑̌͆͌́͘ṫ̵̰͗̍̌̋̈́̑̆̂̄̚͝͠è̵̢̤͓͔̮̮̪͙̳̮͙̗̝̖͚͓̳͕̹̪̭͇̱̮̋̒̇͐͌̂̿͊͌͌͆̆̿͒̃̄̚̚͝͠͠r̸̠̰̳̥̀̔́͂͋̒̚t̸̙͚̗͎̺̟͈̟͗̎̄̈͠ä̵̧̧̛͈̪̫͍̱̩̺̬̣̯͇̭̰̦̙͍͔̝̤́̈́̑̊̒̆̀͑͌͗̌͆̐͒́̍͒̎͊̇̽͐̕i̸̡̧̨̖̲̪̟͚͇͉͉͙̥͉̙̼̭͉̠̩͚̯̫̮͔͗̑̑̾̆͊͒̓̈́̆̐̌̉̓̈́́̊̚͝͝n̸̨̖͈̂̑̎͛̉̏į̷̨̝͎̙͔͚̥̞̳̫̜̺̞̯͔̹͕͓̏̈́̈͗̈́̊́̽̄̌͛͋͆͊̽̿̒́̽̔͠͠n̵̡̧̛̹̮̲̠͈̦͔̦͚̘͖̠̺̫͎͉̜̗̗̺̱͕̉́̅́̓̾̑̔̒̽͂̏̐̂͆̌͋̑̃̄̌͗͒̕ͅg̶̡̢̛̳̱͔̙̭͖̗͈͇͕̯̩̳̼̻̥̝̞̹͖̝̓̓̊̇̂̒̐̍̔̽̓͒͂̈́,̷̢̡̠̝̼͚͍̤͚͇̳̥̞̰̼̭̰̦͙̌̊́͗͛͑̍́̐́̏̈́̿̿̇̆̔̓̊͝͠͠͝ ̴͈̩̊̑̿̓̊̓̈́͝y̷̡͍̺͓̺̹̗̹͍̼̤̜̭̪̮̠͙̭̒͌̈́̆̽̅̓̎͛̓̀͊̇̀̈́̈́̅̓̚͘͘͜͜ͅͅớ̵̧̧̡̨͕̦̙̟̺̘̤̹̠͉̘̹͓̣̩̬̭̞̦͉̏̈́̐̿͑͗̌̈́̐̉̄̾̈́̈̂̇͐̑̍̊̍̅͜ư̴̧̙̙̣̗̞̼̪͌̊̓̉̀̒̃̌̍̍͂͌̽̊̐̉̏̏̔͝ͅn̸̡̨̬̩̜̟͇̙̼͙̰̩̗͈̙̳̘̒̾͋͆́̐̀̄͗͌̾̋̈̀̍͒̏͆̈͌̈́̇̔͜g̶̛̬͖̠͈͚̯͈̮̯̒̅̒̿̈́͌̍͛̔̓͌̅̏̓ ̷̡̢̛̖̺̲͈̻̝̝͚̖͈̣̙̦̘͈͈̘͉͌̽́̅͗́̓̀̏̒́̄͌̔̓̋̒̕̚͘͜͝ͅo̴̟̠̪̭̱͚̎̇̐̕ǹ̴̢̘̼̫̯̫̹̭͙̩̖̦̫͗̑̽̈́̑̍̒̆̀̃̽͐͊̕͜͝ȩ̸̖̦̤͉̦̺̮̗͓̞̺͙͕́̓̏̄͗̓̐̿̌̎͛̆̈́̑͒̽̍̀̏̚̕͝͝s̸̨̯̯̝̩̪̘̠̣̤̳͕̹͖̼͊̌̃̉́̒̀̈́̕̕̕͜͜ͅ.̸̧̢̡̥̠̥͓͇͈̫̹͍̫̭̮̂͆́̔̃͆͊̊̃̉̅̊̿̔̚̚͝ͅ ̴̭̙̼̓̈́̈́̔͗̽̈́̔H̶̝̞̩͂ͅë̴̡̟̞͖͎̹̬̻̬̪̳̩̠̻̱̭̀͆̀̊̅͌̽͘͠ŗ̸̧̛͎͕̦̞̦̣̜͈̱͈̭͎͙̺͚͇͇̦̣̹̏͛͊̿̌̿̌̚ͅḙ̵͋̏̃̑̽͛̈́͗̈́͒̋̉ ̴̢̛̠͙͍̪̝̝̹̩͊͆̓̒̅̄̓́̀̍͗͋̊̊͐͊̓̋͝ͅh̶̡͎͕̜̺͖͇̰̰͓͕͓̯̤̱͆̎͛̉̓͋̍́̓̍̒̚ą̴̢̡͙̗̠̼̣̖̼͉̦͎̳̲̥̳͉̗̂̀̏̚v̷͈̬̹͚͒͂̌̇̆̿͒̉̇̍̀̊̌̽̏̒̌̏̕̕̕͜͝ę̶̡̟̘̥̖̟͇̭̪̲̖̖̥̫̙͕̘̗͓̭͕̾͂̔͂̿́̀̃̔̿̓͗͗͆́̚͝͝͠ ̷̛͎͕͚̣͚̟͇͕́̊̏̒͛͛́̈̋̌̊͐͑͗̔͌̿̀̈́̏̄͊͝a̶̭̲̘̩̲͚̎̌̈́͑̉͌̔͊͛̍͊̓̋́̓̿̀̓͒̚ ̷̩͎͗c̸̤̫̳̰̥̃̉͛̂̄͋̽̊͋̓͊̔̽̾̇͘ǫ̵̡̗̪͇̲̝̯̜̦̼̑̐͂͜͜ͅͅó̷̡̼͔̹̀́́́̑̌͑̂͗̂̒̕͘͠͝k̵̨̧̨̛̳̫̘͇̔̀̃̎̽̊̅͆̓̾̒́͒̊̚͠ĩ̷̛̞͓̂̋̊̈́̃͑̈̐̈̽̇̒̽̏̇̔́̋͘̕͝e̷̢̡̡̛̤͉̻̭̗͎͖͚̗̜̜̞̝̝̗̰͍͈̒̆͑̎̒̔̆̉̑͋̈́͊̈̾̒̽̃̚͝͝ͅ.̶̱̱̰͚̺̀̔̅̒̅̀̕͘͝ ̶̧̝̘̥̫̠̙̇̓̇̆͛̾́̽͗̅̊̑̍͊̍͘̚

I heard … something. Maybe there was some form of language in there. Among a thousand other sounds. Next the tentacle rammed itself into my mouth and down my throat into my stomach. It felt like it was dropping something in there. I couldn’t say for sure, but there was a round, flat object of foreign mana in my stomach. The tentacle immediately retreated out of me. Much to my relief. And to my chagrin the other tentacle just calmly stroked Skadis fur. Sometimes everything was just unfair.

B̶̨̨̢̢̯͎̤̟̰͉̮̻̒͆͌̎̀̌́̅̈̈́̊̋͑͊̐̚̕͝ͅȳ̷̧̢̢͔͈̣͖̠̙̞͚̥̯͕̮̥̥̰͍͉̙̒́͑̈́̓̔̓̃͊̓̔̽̈͗͒́͋̓͊͘͜e̴̛̲͙̟̰̪̙̬̥͖̟͖͍̳͈̩͔̰̠̠̬̙̳͈̿̀̎́̈̐̎̽̔͑̀͗̐͋́̆̀̉̆̇͒͜͜͝͝!̵̧̨̨̛̟̲̰͓̤͓̗̭̣̥͎̗̟̗̞͈̩̦͕̫͈̊͗̿͐̀̈́̃̄̈͐̌̉̂̀̓͋̂̐̆̕͜͜͝͝͝ͅͅ ̵̡̧̛̲̦͈͚̬̟̺̤̹͙͓̬̼̳̺̻̼͙̗̰̼͇͙̩̪͑̓̎͊͒̎̒̎̍̇̆͛̄̓̑̈́̄͗͘͘͜͝͠͠H̸̼̭͉̼̃̆͋̐̑̉͌͂̓̑̏̾́́̚͝a̸͙̞̿̾́̅͊́͗͗̇̏͒̉̓̾̏̉̽͂̈́̈́̚̚̚͝͠͝v̸̢̧̛̲̬̙͕̳̯͚̬͔͓̬̼͔̟̺̝̘̫̠̆̉̓̄͜͠ͅe̶̢̧̨̧͉̟͙͓͇̼̦͉̞̠͔̟̳͚̙͌̇͂̏͒̓̆̀̃̈̓͒͌̎̋̏͌͛͑͆͘͘͜͜͜͜͜ͅ ̵̡̗̩̣͈̞̻̣̲̯̯̌̈̎̋͝a̸̦̘̭̻̮͍͈͌͌̄́͊̏̽̆́̕ ̶̛͖̦̪̬̬̗̹͙̘͍͈͚͎͚̻̱̱̩̌̄̆̍͐̌̇͊̈́́͋̏́̕͠͠͝͠͝b̷̮̺̯̜͓͙̙͍̠̪͚͚̔̇̄́̅̌̿̾̑́͘͠ȅ̵͎͖̒͊̀́̔̋̽̂͑̾̓̎̈́̓̍̃́̕͘̕͠a̷̧̝̻̫̖̹͈̣͚̙̮̞̹̪̩͇̳̺̪͇̐́̔̈́͂̐̆̿̃̎̓̈́͂̌̍̋̽̈́́̀͠͠͝͠ứ̵̡͔̳͖̼̰͖̺̺̣͕͉̘̠̔͆́͒̔̀̀̉͒̾̐̀͂̎̿̿̐̓̽̅̕̚̕t̸̨̢̡̩̳̝̻̟͖̝͍͖̭͊͑̏͌͊̚͝ĭ̸̬̆̂͆̎͒̃͒͐̓̾̃̒̈̓̈͌͗̉͆̅̓͆̐̾̚͠f̷̧̢̧̨̻̥̹̭͍̫̙̪͚͓̞̘̣̘͔͇̞̦͎̮̭͎̏̉̓͛̐͊͗̈͐̔̅̈̀̌͝͝ͅu̸̧̗͉̫͎̪̥̹̖̭̽́̒̅̏͆̔̀͒͆̾̈́̆̔̋̅̀͛͛́͂͘̕̕̕ͅļ̵̭̠̟̫̩͔͈̙͓̼̝̼͒͑̆̈́͌͝͠ͅ ̸̢̧̢̠̗͇̬̲̮̻̰̮̗̝̙́̽͂͜͜d̵̛̼̋́̄̌́̑̾̈́̂̾́̕̚̕͝͠ä̷̧̛̦̺̲͓̭͖͚́͐̀̉͂̈́̾͌͆̀̽̓́̉͆͛̀͜͠ỵ̷̼̲̮̪̯̖̊́̊͐͐̐̑̔̆͛̿̅́̑̅͆̅̈̃͋͘̚͠͝͝͝!̷̨̢̛̺̭̣͓̩͉͚͗̊̿̓͌̍̅́́̈́͗̆̒͒͆̋͆̾̀̏̋̏̒͒̕̕͝ ̸̨̠͙͔̤̗̠͍͖͕̫͖̗͚͔̞̣̘͍̟̟͈͙̳̮̀̉̋̑͑̍͂̿̎͒̓ͅ:̵̞͍̻̟͛̎̓̍͒̌͊̂̈́̓͂̈́̒͆̄́̅̎̈́̾̎̕͝͝ͅ)̷͚̤̻̼̩̺̼͕̐͛̎̓̆̒́͒̈́̌͝͠͝ͅ ̵̪͈̫̱͎͓͚͎̩̮͇̜̮͔̏̄̎̔͂͋̀͗̇̈́̆̑̾̚͝͠͠ͅ

Again that alien cacophony. And just as suddenly as the tentacles appeared, they disappeared again. And the moment my stomach tried to digest whatever was in there I lost consciousness.