Chapter Thirty Three: If You Never Know Truth, Then You Never Know Love
November 5, 2010
Moab, UT
The number on the meter kept going up. It was incredible. Marc had never seen the number reach so high.
When it crossed forty, Marc was sure that something was wrong. Then, at 42.23, he finally heard the loud thunk he had been waiting for.
He sighed in relief, then stared at the number again. It was the most he had ever had to pay to fill up the tank on the truck.
Of course, the price here at the Chevron in Moab was literally highway robbery. When he had seen it, he had been tempted just to use the reserve tank he had in the bed of the truck, but that was for emergencies, and it was still another four-hour drive to Salt Lake.
As Marc replaced the gas tank cap and returned the nozzle to the pump, Leeroy walked back from the station carrying a plastic shopping bag.
“How were the facilities?” Marc asked as he inserted his credit card into the pump and punched at the menu to pay for the gas he had pumped.
“I gave up when I saw the door. Let’s try somewhere else.”
Marc looked over at the younger man, who looked slightly more pale than when he had stepped away. That was impressive, considering his dark complexion.
“Sure. We might as well grab an early dinner here. Otherwise, we’ll probably have to wait until Provo.”
Leeroy was already working on his phone.
“There’s a diner up the road. Decent reviews and vegan friendly. That work?”
Marc nodded. Leeroy passed him a bottle of water from the bag, which Marc happily accepted.
They got back into the truck, and Leeroy directed them down the main street for about five minutes until they came to a small restaurant just off the main street.
It was off-season for Moab, so it was quiet, and luckily, the small diner was still operating. They parked and went in. After ordering a simple meal, Leeroy quickly identified the facilities and disappeared into the back of the restaurant.
Marc relaxed and sipped from a mug of hot coffee, grateful that the waitress had the foresight to bring the pot when she came to take their orders. Well, it only made sense, seeing as the town had a reputation for being nothing more than a big gas station and repair garage.
The ride had been better than he had feared. It was further than he had ever traveled in this world, although he had traveled to every continent in the other. It still felt like an accomplishment.
The truck, antique that it was, had held up well, other than its insatiable thirst for fuel. The road was easy to drive, with plenty of rest stops along the way. This was the first time he had let the fuel gauge drop below half a tank.
Leeroy was a great driving companion. He wasn’t much of a talker and instead was happy to sit in silence. Most of the time, he was content to listen to the classic rock on Marc’s iPod through the ancient speakers on the truck. Leeroy also contributed his own music playlist. An extensive collection, mainly of Jazz and soul, that Marc appreciated. Luckily, Marc had installed a simple radio that had a cable input so he could plug in his iPod. It worked perfectly well with Leeroy’s iPhone, which had a larger music library than Marc’s.
They had left from Silver City in the early morning. Leeroy had spent the night on his sofa so that they could head straight from his cabin. Marc figured they would be at the hotel in Salt Lake City by Ten. They could have flown; Ryan and Selina had both opted to fly, but Leeroy had only flown in an airplane once as a child, and the experience had apparently not been a positive one.
As for Marc, he had never been on an airplane before, and his experience with flight in general had been a very mixed bag. He would just as well drive if he could. After checking the maps, the twelve-hour drive seemed more than reasonable, especially after finding out that Ryan and Selina would both be transferring in Denver.
After more than eight hours on the road, however, he was willing to admit that this was near his limit, at least for a single day. Unfortunately, Leeroy could not drive a stick, so Marc had to drive the entire length. He would have to drive back on Monday as well. At least he had a few days in a fancy hotel to rest up.
Leeroy sat down, noticeably more fresh and relaxed. They sat silently for a minute when the young man broke the silence.
“Thanks again. Sorry I can’t drive. You must be exhausted.”
“It’s not too bad. That’s what we get for living in the middle of nowhere,” Marc tried to respond with more energy than he felt.
“I just can’t… with airplanes. You know? And I couldn’t take the car. Peter needs it for work.”
“Really, don’t worry about it. I wasn’t interested in flying in the first place. I don’t have a great history with it,” Marc chuckled remembering the Wyvern disaster.
“I thought you never flew before?
“Yeah… Well, you know, stuff happens. Anyway, I don’t think I’ll take a flight in a real airplane unless I absolutely have to.”
Leeroy gave him an odd look. Luckily, the food had arrived. A salad and a bean stew for Leeroy and a plate of biscuits and gravy for Marc.
The smell of the food revived him as Marc dug in without ceremony. Noticing that his coffee mug had been refilled, Marc made a note to stop at this place on his way back.
“You know, you have a weird way of talking. Like you’re an old man or something. I mean, you’re not that old. You’re like 27, right?”
Marc smiled wryly.
“Yeah. At least in this life.”
“What, you’re like a Buddhist or something? Past lives as shit like that? Cool. Peter used to do some of that. He went to India and sat with some Guru or something like that.”
“Heh, yeah. Something like that.”
“But anyway. You’re pretty hard to figure out. I thought you were just some townie. One of those guys who’s afraid to leave your hometown. But you don’t act like you are scared of nothing. Like those frogs. Damn! I was freaking out. Big ass frogs with piranha teeth? But you and Selina go out there and mess them up. No sweat at all.”
“Well, I just didn’t want them to ruin the party. You know how moody Sheila gets when things don’t go to plan,” Marc added jokingly.
“Yeah, just that man, normal people don’t talk like that. They say, What the hell. Mutant frogs. I am outta here. You act all stoic like it happens all the time and go stomp them like they was nothing. Man, I was scared outta my mind. Even Selina. She won’t even talk about it. Y’all are diff-e-rent,” Leeroy slowed his speech, emphasizing each syllable of the last word.
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“No disrespect. I mean, it’s cool. I wish I had swag like that. Skills too. I just sell clothes at A&F. Only thing I can do in a pinch is fold t-shirts.”
“I am who I am, because that is who I am.”
“Huh?”
“It’s just something someone told me once. It means, if you know who you are as a person, and can accept that, then you are everything you need to be.”
Marc smiled as he recalled his resistance to that particular concept.
“Yeah, Peter is always saying shit like that. But he’s a big-shot lawyer man. He’s already made it. I know I’m young. I just wanna… do more than look good in tight shirts. You know? I gotta figure out what I am gonna do in the world.”
This was the most the young party healer had ever said to Marc. This was the most Leeroy had said in the entire time he had been part of the group. Maybe it was the travel fatigue or the anticipation of the event ahead.
“I get it. I think I used to think like that a lot. Crazy pressure to do something. Accomplish something,” Marc sympathized.
“Yeah. Everyone around me always asks me what I am gonna do. What am I gonna be? I just don’t know what I am good at.”
“We sometimes think we have to struggle to reach some big goal. I’ve found that my input into those big things is pretty limited. Like this trip. We’re going to Salt Lake. In four hours, we’ll be there. I’m driving the car. I have the control, but pretty much, the only foreseeable scenario is that in four hours, we’ll be pulling into the marking lot of the Marriot. Once you step on a road, your destination is largely set.”
Marc saw the confused look on Leeroy’s face.
“What I am saying is that the world will reach its own destiny. It does not need to hurry or practice. It does not worry or regret. But in the end, the world will find itself complete. The same goes for you. Whatever you accomplish someday it will be the result of everything you do. All your effort and all your mistakes together.”
Leeroy frowned; he wasn’t following.
“At every stage in life, you are the sum of everything you have experienced. The good things and the bad things. If you can look in the mirror and accept that you are a good person. Right now. As you are, then everything led you to that, even if it was your fear or doubt. Even your mistakes. That’s the lesson my teacher tried to beat into my head. The goal that we should be striving for is not to look in the mirror and see the great person we wish to be. The goal is to look in the mirror and see the good person we are today.”
“Damn, that’s deep. I dunno, though. I just want to be less of a chickenshit, I guess.”
“Well, not all fear is unreasonable,” Marc cautioned.
“Fear does a good job of keeping us alive. Plenty of dangerous things in this world.”
“Yeah! That. Seriously, who talks like that? It’s not like we’re in Afghanistan or something. Marc, you’re a good guy. But weird. Definitely weird.”
They laughed together and finished the meal.
Marc picked up the bill for both of them and left a healthy tip. The food was great, and the service was excellent. He didn’t anticipate being back here often, but it’s worthwhile to keep track of good, reliable rest stops when on a journey.
Marc washed up as well before they got back on the road. He wanted to do the last leg in one spurt if possible. With a full tank, they should be able to make it.
Just for a quick break to stretch their legs while they had a chance, however, he suggested that they take a look around the restaurant in the game.
Different locations in the game held different challenges, but as far as Marc had heard, the Western United States was considered one region. The mobs that he had seen had been similar to the fauna associated with central and southern Tehric. Orcs, goblins, kobolds, slimes, and bloodworms. He had heard in Asia and Europe, there were different biomes where trolls and pixies, as well as Nue and Nian had been reported.
As they started up the game on their phones, they quickly checked the map to see if there were any encounters or raids in the area. Unsurprisingly, there were no raids on the radar. The raids supposedly formed where players gathered, so it was unlikely a place like this would have enough users to form a raid node.
There were plenty of monster encounters, however. Mostly low-level mobs, so after about fifteen minutes of smashing vorpal rabbits and goblins, the impromptu team called it quits and they were soon back on the road.
“So, what do you suppose it’s going to be like? At the Grand Tournament?” Leeroy had opened up a bit. Marc turned down the music so they could talk.
“Not really sure. They didn’t give us much information. Just the dates and logistics.”
“It should be pretty crazy. The press coverage of Pl@y3r has been growing all year. I figure they have to at least announce the public release date. Interest is through the roof! I heard someone tried to sell his beta phone and they are actually charging him with a crime! Peter said it’s possible, depending on the agreements we signed. He took one look at mine and said, ‘Don’t mess with them,’ I guess it was pretty scary.”
Mark nodded. According to the beta closed forum, the number of active beta users was now below 500 despite the overwhelming interest in the game. It’s hard to imagine that anyone would quit such an envied position now, but there were plenty of confidentiality clauses in the contract that spelled out things that would get you kicked out, so he can imagine more than a few had fallen along the way.
Marc wondered what the end of the beta would mean. Would the game, in fact, go public? The secrets of the other world now available to anyone with a smartphone? He was also curious what it would mean to his own special access, as well as the relationships he had built with this team of betas.
The invitation had promised a major event with big announcements. They had offered flights and hotels for the hundreds of testers to attend from all over the world. The sheer logistical challenges of such an event must be incredible.
Meanwhile, after the login screen to the game, teasers of the event had been dripped out for days. It appeared that there would be some announcements regarding the future for beta testers, as well as some challenges that would take place at the Grand Tournament.
The event itself would be a hybrid affair. It would still be possible to attend through the phone app for those who were unable to fly to the corporate headquarters of KamiGames in Salt Lake. A separate app had been made available that was specially developed just for this one event. Of course, a registered beta account was required to even get the app to start up.
For now, opening the app just showed a countdown. Marc had checked it again at the restaurant in Moab, and it had just ticked past seventeen hours to zero. 9 AM the following day.
He wasn’t sure what to expect, but he was determined to be here and see what was going on. He could feel that he was being drawn into this situation, but by whom and for what purpose, he had no idea.
He was also hoping that he would have a chance to get close to Mary. He had sent emails and letters to the company but had never even received any acknowledgement that they had been delivered.
“Have you ever been to Salt Lake City before?” He asked Leeroy.
“Me? Nah, My folks are from back East, New York. I was born there, but we moved to Cruces when I was 10. I’ve pretty much been there ever since. Went to Dallas once. Peter wanted to take me to LA, but I wasn’t going to fly, so that’s kind of on hold.”
“You flew when you came down from New York, right?”
Leeroy sat there for a moment, looking intently at the road ahead.
“Yeah…”
Marc could tell he shouldn’t press on, so he just kept driving. After a short silence in the cab, he reached down to turn the music back up, but then Leeroy spoke again.
“We were supposed to fly out, but suddenly, they canceled all the flights. We were in the airport already. I was excited cause it was my first chance to fly on a plane. I thought it was going to be so cool, you know. Bragged about it to my friends.”
The man’s demeanor shifted. It was like he was in a trance. His voice was monotone, and his features went slack.
“Dad was mad, yelling at the airline person. I got scared because everyone seemed upset. Then the shouting started, and then the screaming.”
Marc did some quick math. He had thought that Leeroy was around 20. Ten years ago would have been…
“Damn.”
Leeroy turned robotically to look at Marc after the word slipped from his mouth.
“You were there?”
Leeroy nodded.
“Yeah. At the airport. We stayed there forever, days, it felt like. We had nowhere to go. Everyone watching the airport TVs. People were freaking out. There was a lot of yelling; some people just sat there crying. Dad, he always tells people what to do and they do it. He’s that kind of guy. He just stood there, not saying anything. Mom wouldn’t stop crying. After a while, maybe a day, they cleared us all out. Kicked us out. Dad got us into a hotel. I don’t know where. We stayed there for a few days. The TV stayed on, but just the news.”
He kept speaking. Calmly and steadily, like he was reading it, but his eyes stayed locked on the road ahead.
“When we finally got another flight. Everyone just wanted to get away. Get down to our new lives and hide away from it. But when we were supposed to board the plane, I…” Leroy froze for a moment, his eyes starting to tremble.
“I screamed like a baby. Kept seeing the clips from the TV. I think I peed my pants,” the mask cracked, and the young man was smiling. It was the most real smile that Marc had ever seen on his face before.
“I told you I was a chickenshit.”
Leeroy leaned back in his chair, wiped his eyes with the palm of his hand, and laughed.
“Man, you some kind of therapist? I didn’t say that much to that freaky doc my parents made me go to. I didn’t even tell Peter that much. Well, everything except the peeing my pants thing,” he said with that same relaxed smile.
“It’s a combat thing. Easier to build trust when you face the same dangers,” Marc explained.
“Combat huh? Yeah. I guess so. I guess I trust you guys. Well, maybe not Ryan.”
They both laughed at that.
The sun was already falling behind the mountains as they passed a reflective green road sign.
[SALT LAKE CITY 178]