I pace and pace and pace. I have walked the maze-like paths of my gardens all my time, and they have always given me solace. Given me peace and answers, or at the very least steps toward them. Steps, heh. I cannot help but laugh at myself. Such wordplay is the sort of mindless punning that Gabriel would use to be irritating, though I am certain he sees it as charming. At times his levity...can be not as irritating as I would have him believe it to be -- but nine times out of ten, I wish to swing my scythe and see what happens. He would likely vanish with a laugh, and I would be left alone muttering curses.

I sigh. I pace. I know I think of Gabriel in this moment only because he is an archangel, a son of God...and a sibling of Michael. The General -- the thought of it sends something from my seal, all the way down the bones of my spine like a ghost of the thunderbolt that ripped through me but hours ago. Yes, I know my orders, my commands. And yet...and yet…

“I am not there!”

Around and around and around my cry flies. It circles the portrait of the Originals, up into the vaulted ceiling that so beautifully imitates the night sky, one could be forgiven for forgetting that it is not. Sometimes I try to convince myself of that beautiful lie. Such a beautiful lie. But I am Death: I am humanity’s “ugly truth.” I am what they see as the end, though it is not true. I am but the ferryman. I am but a door. A door, right now, that refuses to open.

What is my next move? What do I do? I cannot go against my nature -- to do so is to break faith and contract. To create a pretty lie for oneself. To no longer be a Horseman. We are natural forces -- we go where both angel and demon tread. We are on Earth, but do not move humanity in any one direction or another.

I have answered calls from Heaven and Hell alike. Of course, Hell only calls in ways that are...unique. One may even say creative. Who can forget the screams of the lowest of Hell that land in the innermost sanctum? Or the smell -- acrid, searing heat, or the pungent scent of sulfur, usually. But dependent upon which circle they call home, the result can vary. But that is Hell: they care not who they sacrifice along the way to achieve what they want. I have met several of its Princes in my time; they knock upon our wall so I may meet them outside holy ground.

But I have never before met an antichrist. Never been on the verge of the Apocalypse -- the great final battle of Heaven and Hell that, no matter how small it begins, grows and grows so that none escape. Where Lucifer and Michael would yet duel again. The champions locked in immortal combat until the world breaks and renews itself. Until one of them becomes mortal and is slain.

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

Or so I assume.

And so I continue to distract myself, so I am able to avoid this dilemma. A dilemma I must solve myself. This task was appointed to me, and so must I complete it.

“But I cannot,” I say with dreadful realization. Even with angels and demons lurking around the boy; even with my orders from Michael, there is simply nothing there. Nothing but confusion and questions and, more terrifying, doubt.

For the first time, I doubt.. I do not believe I will ever be there -- not for some human time, at least. That boy -- Hyun -- no...the antikhristos…

Is he truly?

I look up at the Originals and into the face of the first War. My War. My mentor. He who taught me all I know of being a Horseman...and of how to break the covenant of one’s title. How to rage and burn and ravage. How to drown in a sea of souls and blood.

No. I shake my head. That is not right. Are not even my memories safe from this madness?

A thought: who am I?

Could not such thoughts be affecting all others, divine and demonic alike? That demon today...he knew Hyun as the child of Lucifer, the Morning Star, but of no other title than that. If Lucifer has not yet declared Hyun as such…

Perhaps...perhaps there is yet another option. My orders, querite, et invenietis: remove the antikhristos, Hyun, from the Earth. And I can do that. I can remove Hyun from Earth...while yet keeping him alive so that I may ask the questions I need to ask -- as well as the ones I want to ask.

I can find a way to petition God themself as to why They would order me seemingly against my creed and title. Why They would not ensure that the circumstances and situation of Their orders aligned.

I can ask Them what we do now -- what we do in the face of the oncoming Apocalypse.